i’m staying with my dad for the summer and his bedroom door is basically in the kitchen and he leaves it open all the time which is usually fine except that i’m fucking nocturnal and a bitch gets hungry

so he got me some fast food for lunch, while i was mid-sleep (because nocturnal), and around three in the morning i figure i’ll heat that shit up. except microwaves leave burgers and fries all soggy and gross, and also his microwave is bizarrely powerful and therefore loud as shit. i figure i’ll be clever, and put it in the toaster oven, because it will be quieter and crispy. not even five minutes later, it is burning. the top bun of my burger is black. i’m furiously fanning the smoke out of the window and finally have to turn on the smoke vent, but only for like a minute, because i still think maybe i can not wake my dad up. he did not get up.

i threw out the top bun and looked at my fucked-up open-faced burger and think, you know what? i can salvage this. you know what makes every open-faced sandwich better? a fried egg. a fried egg makes everything better in general, but open-faced sandwiches especially. this is facts. and fried eggs only take a minute, and are quiet as hell. just a l'il bitty pan sizzle. this is all cool and doable.

except my dad’s stove is also loud as shit, because it’s an old gas stove and it takes forever to light and the whole time it’s going CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK. it takes me like ten minutes to figure out how to get it to light without making too much noise, because i already had to get butter and eggs out of the fridge and i don’t want to put this shit back because the fridge light goes directly into his goddamn bedroom. despite the CLICK-CLICK-CLICK and the lingering burning smell, dad still does not get up.

i watched my egg cook, filled with relief because i was in the home-stretch and even i could not fuck this up worse than i already had, when i hear my dad come out of his room.

“that smells so good it woke me up,” he says, bleary-eyed. he goes back in his room, and closes the door.


sroloc--elbisivni  asked:

I understand you must have many many things going on but you seem like the best person to ask: do you think the Justice League is registered as a company and as such do you think they pay taxes?

… there’s not really any reason for them to incorporate, as a non-profit or otherwise? they do not participate in business activities. they are an international/intergalactic vigilante organization operating outside the law, who do so basically freely because no one wants to deal with the logistics of stopping them from doing so (if 2017 has taught us anything it’s that you can apparently just kind of do Whatever if the people who are supposed to stop you from doing that decide they don’t care enough to bother). if you don’t profit from a nation’s citizens or use their infrastructure, you don’t pay taxes to that nation, and the justice league is not a profitable enterprise (that is probably a grimdark au somewhere tho). they also don’t need to worry about separating themselves as individuals from the justice league as an entity for liability reasons (another reason to incorporate) because everything they are doing is technically illegal anyway. otherwise they’re just cops, and that’s a totally different grimdark au.

while generally large-scale construction projects are undertaken by corporations, they don’t need to be, so regardless of what you think their headquarters looks like (personally i think that putting it in space is dumb because it creates way more logistical problems and failure points than necessary while also increasing the likelihood of pissing off nations who were already barely tolerating your extralegal organization, you’re way better off with a Sealand-like structure in international waters that’s Themyscira/Atlantis adjacent to utilize their existing defense infrastructures) it’s likely to have been built using the private resources of various members and informally gifted to the group as a whole. they don’t really have a staff, i think it’s usually implied that maintenance is performed by robots. possibly alien robots, or else built by a genius superhero whose whole deal is robots. or it’s just roombas. noisy-ass bulk warehouse roombas knocking over all the potted plants, dragging charging cables and their attached devices all over the fucking place.

so mostly the only legal issues are around ownership and i’m not convinced the watchtower, etc, are actually legally owned by anyone, being outside the united states and not governed by any country’s property laws. being built outside of any country’s jurisdiction means they didn’t have to purchase property which means it doesn’t need to belong to anyone. i mean the general purpose of property laws is the ensure that randos can’t just take your shit and say “this is mine now” and if someone is trying to steal justice league headquarters they were probably never going to try to settle that issue in court. i guess some enterprising member of the league could try to be clever and plant a flag but everyone would probably just ignore them and go about their business. or else it would become a game of capture the flag with no meaningful consequences. “someone broke the window again, barry fix ur building” “it stopped being my building yesterday, i think it’s hal’s” “hal why are you such a slumlord”

in summary:

  • if they’re headquartered inside of a country they’ll need to pay property taxes to that country, but why would they do that
  • if you’re going with a space station then you probably shouldn’t look too closely at the legal situation or other practical considerations anyway because it’s a goddamn mess
  • otherwise they are kind of just an informal club that hangs out in the weird clubhouse they all built