A few years back, I remember seeing the ads for Glee, and being pretty excited for it. I’m always up for something different, and Glee looked pretty damn different. Unfortunately, Glee was a pretty miserable trainwreck right from the start. It’s confidently well made, and the acting is…well, it’s ok, it’s teenagers after all, and the idea is kind of cool but what ruins it is how it’s written and the tone of the show. For a series that started out being about music, it quickly jumped to being a defender of everything homosexual. I’m not against that, I have gay friends, and I support gay marriage, but that’s not what the show is ABOUT. It became this defender of homosexuality and transgenders and suddenly wasn’t about music at ALL. But, the characters were completely unlikable, unrelatable and underdeveloped. I didn’t care what happened to them and the only person worth my time was Jane Lynch, who I had only liked from Party Down anyway.
So, I dubbed Glee a misstep and went on my way.
Recently, American Horror Story showed up on netflix streaming. I knew that this was made by the same guy, Ryan Murphy. Now this was a series I was actually SUPER interested in when it first came out because I LOVE horror. And to see something of high quality-it’s FX-and of the horror genre on television was a dream come true after watching The River fail so miserably. But because of the way I watch television, I never watched it when it aired. I wasn’t spoiled on it either, I just stayed away from it completely knowing that it eventually would end up on Netflix and I could marathon it all in 3 days.
But in between the time that it took American Horror Story to show up on Netflix, Murphy had another series picked up called “The New Normal”, with another homosexual theme but an idea I liked and could get behind. No pun intended. I tuned into 1 episode and actually felt like a bad person.
So this week, when AHS finally showed up on Netflix, I tried to watch it, and I couldn’t even get through the pilot. It was at that moment that I realized the problem isn’t the shows…it’s Ryan Murphy. First off, the guy leaves every show he makes at the 2nd season. He left Glee at season 2 to do AHS, he then left AHS at season 2 to do The New Normal. Running 3 shows at once is a bad idea, just ask Seth McFarlene. Look at the quality of his programs-not that they had much to begin with-and how they just degraded over time the more he series jumped. Trying to juggle that much as a showrunner just is a bad idea. Have on series, stick with it, finish it or wait for it to be canceled and then move on. But it isn’t even that THAT was the problem. No, because all of these shows are confidently made, and the acting is decent enough I suppose, but the main problem is Murphy himself. The guy lacks the ability to put in character development and story in favor or plot twists and stupid cliches. All of his programs suffer from terribly cliche characters who do things with seemingly no motivation otherwise, and then don’t learn from those mistakes.
Ryan Murphy just has a problem. He can’t write. It’s the same problem that Oren Peli has. It’s these guys who make these things that become super popular but the guys who made them aren’t actually talented. Neither of those men can write a script. The difference here is that Murphy can at least come up with pretty half decent premises, while Peli just can’t write his way out of a room covered in typewriters. You could put a retarded goldfish in a room with Peli and the retarded goldfish would write a nobel prize winning book, and Peli would just write the word “ghosts” over and over again. So I give Murphy some credit on the idea that the dude has potential, if he could just learn to write correctly. Half my problem with AHS is that I hated everyone on screen, didn’t care what happened to them and they had mood swings every 3 seconds that didn’t explain anything. Not to mention Jessica Lange, who showed up in the first episode, and gave her entire life story to her new neighbor within 2 minutes of meeting her.
Save that for later, dude! Build up a relationship between these people first! I’m not even kidding, Lange walks in, insults her own kid by calling her a mongoloid (I’m not making ANY of this up) and then proceeds to explain how that child ruined her life with her birth because she wanted to be an actress and now she’s had to give up on that dream. And this is all within maybe 2 minutes of meeting her new neighbor. And the lead actress of that family has the only realistic reaction I’ve seen on that show so far where you watch her face and you can tell even SHE’S going, “What the fuck is wrong with this lady?” in her head. Murphy, build up character interaction, build up some sort of relationship-even a strained one at that-and have Lange at a few episodes down the road invite the lady over for coffee, and explain “Listen, I’m sorry my daughter is doing what she’s doing, but it’s been just as hard for me too. You have to understand-” and then go into the long spiel about why her life is the way it is. It’s an easy fix! Shit, I just did it! It’s the same problem with movies like The Human Centipede. These girls automatically decide, “Hey, our cars tire is flat, let’s just get out and walk” when they could’ve easily changed the tire. They’re in the middle of fuckin’ Germany-and nobody knows they’re there-and they decide to walk into the woods at god damn 12 at night because of a flat tire?! I mean, I know this is a horror story, but I think I speak for everyone when I say THE FUCK LADIES?! It’s an easy fix, just pop open the trunk, and say, “Oh look, the rental care place fucked us, they didn’t give us a spare.”
Murphy doesn’t understand plot development, or character development. He wants to create water cooler television shows without any of the buildup. He’s almost like the Michael Bay of TV. Michael Bay doesn’t make movies, his movies are action delivery mechanisms; each scene between the explosions is “Ok, how do we get to the next big explosion?” and that’s what Murphy wants. He doesn’t want to do the buildup, he wants the twist or the amazing moments and the fan reaction. He doesn’t want all that stuff in between. Ya know. THE PLOT. And I just can’t respect that. You can’t be famous without working for it. Well you CAN, but it’s douchy.
Ryan Murphy is the problem with Ryan Murphy shows. Once he fixes his issues, and learns to write, maybe I’ll check back in. But as of right now, I’m going to root for the retarded goldfish.
Insidious: Chapter 4 will be released in theaters on October 20, 2017 via Universal Pictures. The news is announced in the video above by Lin Shaye, who will reprise her role as parapsychologist Elise Rainier.
Perhaps the biggest piece of information revealed is that Adam Robitel is taking over directorial duties. Like many others, I was highly impressed by his debut, The Taking of Deborah Logan, so I’m interested to see what he brings to this franchise.
Insidious: Chapter 4 will once again by written by series co-creator Leigh Whannell. Jason Blum, Oren Peli, and co-creator James Wan will serve as producers.