One-Thing-at-a-Time

anonymous asked:

I tend to cling onto what I'm currently interested in so hard that it's extremely difficult to invest in any of my other interests & let them share mindspace. i only allow myself to focus on one thing at a time, and when it comes to switching that, if I've been at it for a while I burn up and feel DEVASTATED.I wanna move on, but I just can't. I need to know and learn everything else first, I'm not satisfied. sometimes it's easier, but I'm having trouble rn. is this my ADHD acting up in some way?

Yes, this is ADHD-related. It’s a special interest, and the passion can be absolutely exhilarating… and then it disappears and we feel awful a lot of the time. I always miss the passion, you know?

Sometimes it can help to make the most recent thing your “number two backup” interest for a while, so when you burn up on the current one you can go back to the last one for a little while. That way you aren’t abandoning it completely, you’ll go back to it as a bit of a breather before your next one comes along.

I’m re-reading and now I’m looking at this, are you meaning that task-switching is hard when you’re involved in your current special interest? Because that is also ADHD-related. You get into hyperfocus and switching out of that mode is really really hard.

-J

Like I feel like my head is in the right place and mindset right now and even things I’m worried about in The future aren’t bringing me down. I’m taking things one step at a time and just being happy with the progress I’ve made in the past months

Black moon Lilith

What is Black moon Lilith? Black moon Lilith is the nothingness, the empty space that’s fills the void between the earth and the moon. Knowing your BML will help determine your subconscious side, secretive behavior patterns, sexual wants and needs, seductive traits, repressed anger and possible reason for death. It’s the energy who makes us feel empowered and vulnerable at once.

Who is Black moon Lilith? To sum it up, BML is a bad ass angel who took a stand for her sexual desires, and because of this, she was cast out of Eden for upsetting the dynamics between male and female power. Black moon Lilith is the feminine sexual energy that we are told to hide, uncontrollable lust, dirty thoughts, obsessions, kinks, anger and impulses.

Black moon Lilith in…

Aries Lilith in Aries feels the need to look powerful. They attain this by working out and eating clean. They need to burn their excess energy out in order to relax, by internalizing their abundance of energy this can cause suppressed anger, anxiety, depression, and lack of will power/motivation. They don’t listen to rules and regulations. They come up with the rules. BML in Aries people are usually talented and fast learners, but they can also be fickle. Instead of changing their mind they should learn to focus on one thing at a time and conquer it before moving on. Sexual energy is high, with a need for control and domination, they prefer BDSM, rough sex, adventurous and impulsive sex. Too much of this can lead them too dangerous situations, lack of this can cause unsatisfaction. Find a balance and you’ll be a bedroom god, oh and mind your head as there’s a chance of severe injury in that area.

Taurus A strong attachment to possessions, money, power to attain security. There’s seductive way about BML in Taurus, they have lustful eyes, soft skin, soothing voices and cupids bow lips, because of their pretty features there’s a connection between this sign and sexual/physical abuse, unwanted pregnancies, stuck in bad relationships especially in their youth years. This placement indicates a need for raw, natural connections, they can immerse themselves in music as they’re very in touch with their bodies and rhythm. A few bats of their lashes could leave anyone melting. Sex can involve domination, abuse, drugs, alcohol and money.  They shine in bed with someone who they feel comfortable with, and have a love for kitchen counter top intimacy. They have a tendency to have people obsess over them, perhaps even break a few hearts in their younger years. Remember, familiarity isn’t always right… jump into the unknown once in a while.

Gemini A difficult connection between mind, body and soul. Split personalities. Problems with communicating and expressing their true feelings, emotional blockages and dissociate personalities. There’s a strong sexual urge in this sign, when controlled can lead to satisfying sex, when uncontrolled can lead to suppression, anxiety about sex and relationships/intimacy; resulting in prostitution and drug use later on in life. When mind, body and soul are in balance, expression, verbal communication and tech skills are at an all time high. Their words are powerful weapons, and they possess and sharp tongue in conjunct a restless mind. Tendency to combine communication and intimacy… dirty talk, phone and cyber sex. Promiscuity and lies can happen when the mind and heart aren’t working together. LGBTQ’s are higher in this placement. 

Cancer Intuitive nature. Seems trust-worthy and kind, gets you to expose your secrets to them and stores them away for later use such as blackmail and emotional manipulation. Can indicate problems at home or feeling like an outcast in their own family, a difficult/distant relationship with either parents and siblings. These people have outstanding memories, able to easily access their past life and reincarnation through meditation, day/night dreaming or intuition. They fear loneliness but find it hard to become emotionally available out of fear of being betrayed. When this placement is channeled at a lower frequency, someone who strives for a peaceful trusting home life might choose to be with someone that won’t make that’s happen by choosing a partner who’s distrusting, abusive, loud, they may have a problematic child, or they themselves cause the chaos at home. Nevertheless, they protect and love their family with their entire life. They love in abundance, and this shows under the sheets. Sex with a Cancer in Lilith will probably leave you falling in love.

Leo Strong need to feel admired, looked up to, frothed over. Will unconsciously run away or close off when they sense rejection. Obsession with creating “meaningful moments” by travelling, communicating, giving, having countless friends.. this obsession can be ego driven to make it seem like they’e living an exciting  life; even if the friendships are fake and the travels rip a hole in their wallet. However living life on the edge is what makes them happy. empowered, charismatic, eccentric, magnetic. These people make great artists, actors, musicians or something along the lines of channeling their creativity to an audience. Their love of a good thing can be self destructive if not controlled, tendency to become sex and money addicts, homewreckers, chronic drug users, Most Leo Lilith’s discover their sexuality at a young age and stay sexually active their entire life. They have no problem jumping from one partner to the next… many have multiple partners. There’s a chance they’ll cheat if they aren’t receiving enough attention from their other half.

Virgo A good placement to have Lilith in. These people possess sharp analytical minds… when used at their fullest potential they’ll go far in terms of career and finance. Prone to using work as a source of escapism. Tends to think and analyse their emotions rather then “feel” them. Excels in psychology, medicine, law, teaching and cooking. Fear of vulnerability and letting themselves go. They can appear “up tight” or very prim and proper, when really they’re free spirited and open minded individuals, able to see between the lines of everything, recognize patterns and reasons most people can’t. This leaves them feeling like an outsider or loner. trichotillomania, OCD and eating disorders are common in this placement; there’s a need for systematic control otherwise they become extremely anxious and fidgety. In bed is where a Virgo Lilith really relaxes and goes wild, sex is a way to release tension and they aim too please.. by taking into account of what turns you on and what you enjoy, they’ll make sure to incorporate it into sex. Advice would be too let feelings happen without creating a reason for them, take some risks, and don’t suppress your emotions.

Libra They mirror the actions of those surrounding them, they can be the sweetest person or the coldest person you’ll ever meet… depending on you. They are proud of their fluent  allure and charm, they’ve mastered the techniques of seduction and use this to their advantage, possible using it to get something out of someone. These people are often geniuses in many areas… arts, music, law, criminology, and language to name a few. Co-dependency and a need for the perfect lover is strong… leading to abusive/problematic relationships especially in their younger years, as they grow they’re more choosy with whom they give attention too, but their flirty nature and need for attention can cause love affairs in their relationship. Their father tends to be detached or overly protective. As mothers, these people can be verbally abusive, particularly pointing out their children’s flaws.. they have an aloof way of showing their love. In bed, they love BDSM, role play, wine, whipped cream, pretty lingerie and love bites.. spank their ass too lol. If this is your placement, remember not to let anyone else’s thought’s or words affect how you feel. You’re all that you need.

Scorpio REBIRTH is frequent in this placement.. strong, intense relationships with their parents, friends and lovers. They feel the need to completely deteriorate themselves and their SO, mostly driven by passion and emotion. When channeled at a lower frequency their personality can become self destructive, they’ll have their perfect job, partner, and finance one second, then find themselves bankrupt, single and depressed the next.. they need to fall into the depths of rock bottom in order to rise up even higher then before. Sex is their favorite weapon.. they usually posses some fire genitals too ;) Don’t be surprised if they’re throwing you against a wall right before they’re in your pants. Most are fascinated by the occult, black magik, astrology, hypnosis, metaphysical subjects and psychology. They possess the best bullshit detectors, and can sense a good idea of a person within 2 seconds of meeting them. Not by analyzing what they say.. but how they say it and what they don’t say. To them, love isn’t love without jealousy, truth, lies, passion, and extremely kinky sex. All the time (sometimes even involving blood)  Chances of anxiety, paranoia, psychotic depression are high. Their ex partner will constantly compare their new spouses to them, because no one will make you feel passion, love, lust, and hate all at once like a Scorpio Lilith

Sagittarius Relies on “luck” to make it in life… and these people are usually quite lucky surprisingly. Rash, gossipy, fickle. Due to their “wanderlust” mindset, there’s a fear of being held down, these people unconsciously try too escape from anything they fear will confine them. This becomes a big problem when the thing they’re trying to escape from is themselves. Escapism outlets include… drugs (especially weed/acid) alcohol, fighting, video games, drawing, fashion, social media. This becomes apparent in relationships. Go travelling with a Sag Lilith. They’ll make the experience the most mystical and eye opening adventure you’ll  have. They prefer raw experiences and travels instead of fancy resorts and restaurants. They’ll be the one’s eating what the locals eat, with the locals. They often feel a little different from everyone else,this can lead to depression and/or anxiety. It takes a while for them to realize the rare gifts they have. How connected they are with the universe as a whole… I bet a Sag Lilith has the most philosophical dreams.  Prone to being boastful , full of themselves, know-it-all’s though. They need to understand that they’re not always right, and not everyone is out to sabotage them. Sexual partners are usually a different race to them, with a completely different background too. Sex while travelling and meeting their soul mate in another country is high.

Capricorn Someone with Lilith in Capricorn has the mindset of a CEO. They get shit done without help from anyone. And they know it. They can appear extremely intimidating, cold and they pretty much invented the resting bitch face. Many have high positions in terms of career, or they’re self employed. Like the other Earth Lilith’s, there’s a need for financial security, control and empowerment. Infact, they’ll do almost anything to get to the top, even if this includes sleeping with their married bosses. They’ll barely ever let their guard down, and if they do… they’ll beat themselves up for it later on. Their mysterious secretive nature can allure many kinds of people in, it doesn’t take long for you to be trapped under their spell. They like to control or be controlled during love making, and they prefer sex after a few glasses of champagne in a big beautiful bed with expensive bedding, some scented candles and erotic music… then their “other side” (think Christian Grey from 50 Shades) comes out to conquer you. Capricorn Lilith’s are notorious Power trippers… they’ll humiliate their best friend in a crowded room to make themselves feel better and wont give a shit. Prone to acting out in cold ways when they don’t get what they want; the one’s they love the most usually take the brunt of their bad moods.. when their frustration is suppressed it can cause sickness, depression, OCD and paranoia. They might have a few run in’s with mean bosses, jealous friends who use their superiority and success to help them. As children they may have been neglected and abused. As parent’s they’re surprisingly warm, cuddly and protective.. they want their children to have the childhood they never got.

Aquarius These people need freedom. They discover their independent streak from a young age and usually worked for their own money and assets from a young age too. They’re drawn to humanitarian subjects, astrology, numerology and tarot. Tendency to have odd behavioral patterns.. they might have a quirky laugh, a potty mouth, they mutter things under their breath to “make a mental note” something about them is different and it’s this why people are so fascinated by them. Aquarius Lilith’s are extremely charismatic. They’re the masters of influencing, convincing, spreading a message to a large crowd.. most Aquarius Lilith’s had the opportunity to travel from a young age; enlightening them to the world and differences in humanity, this makes them more wiser and brainier then most, but they keep that a secret. They have very active minds, this makes them prone to insomnia and depending on the other placements in their birth chart; Schizophrenia is more common here. They fear losing their independence and self identity, so they need someone who’ll let them roam and explore without being clingy or emotional.  Emotions aren’t a huge deal here, they’ll come up with a logical reason for almost every emotion they feel. And if they can’t, they’ll let it go. Among the more sexually open, these individuals value every kind of sexual kink, desire and fantasy’s, they prefer exciting sex to mundane. Most are chronic masterbators because they’re capable of having multiple orgasms. Dark side includes detachment, disassociation, suppression, alienation, and escapism. 

Pisces Among the more higher frequency’s of BML, Pisces is an intuitive Lilith, capable of interacting with the other side, as they’re easy channels for the spirit realm. They receive messages in dreams, they’ll determine whether someone had a bad childhood just by feeling their energy. Being around negative people and situations heavily drains a BML in Pisces, they’ll need a while to come back from a traumatic experience.. counselling is also preferred. The problems of other people affect them more then anyone else, sometimes using drugs, alcohol and sleep as a way to escape the realities of this harsh world, if they channel this energy into a creative outlet they’ll create magic. Very naive, some in this placement got bullied or taken advantage of as children, and they usually had a bad relationship with one or two siblings because of their innocent kind nature, this progresses as they get older and learn to stick up for themselves. They seduce by sub-missing themselves, appearing innocent and cute , like a little school girl (every dom daddys dream lol) sex is slow, passionate, with gentle touches and lots of foreplay/teasing. They play the victim card a lot though, and emotionally manipulate to get what they want. They’re not as innocent or caring as they may seem. There’s an inability to take charge and confront others here, and will often end up in abusive partnerships most likely with a possessive or controlling partner. Meditation, walking in nature, deep breathing, positive people, cuddles, crystal healing, lucid dreaming, writing, drawing, creating music helps a Pisces Lilith out of their depressive episodes. In their darkest state, they can be psychotic and completely out of touch with reality.. leading to a downward spiral of self destruction. In their superior level, they can heal anyone with their calming energy.

OKAY

You have all sent me VERY KIND MESSAGES that I will reply to tomorrow because I still feel like a soggy blanket. :D

But here is what you need to know:

- The story will be available for everyone to read next month.
- It’s a free online publication, so don’t worry about paying anything!
- The short story is flash fiction, so you’ll be done reading it in about two minutes.
- I’ll post the link as soon as it’s up.

And I am incredibly grateful to all of you for your support and congratulations! Thank you thank you thank you!

Hokay. Roof guys have been contacted and will be redoing the whole roof, flashing, vents, and fascia and soffit on the problem child west wall. After that, the inside’s coming out. Likely the whole interior wall on that side just to make sure there’s no mold.

I need to get back on that antidepressant, man. Only a week off and I can feel the difference badly.

In much better news, only FOUR DAYS UNTIL @jadesabre301 AND I LEAVE FOR CRITICAL ROLE LIIIIIIIVE OMG omg i need to catch up

anonymous asked:

Hey Hector. Sorry if this is a bother, but I'm new to the BMC fandom and just wanted to ask if there is anything I should know/keep in mind in case I start writing fics or creating fan art.

Hey Anon! It’s not a bother at all! Here are a few things you should know!! Welcome to the fandom!!

FANART

  • Christine is not white
  • Michael is not white
  • Lots of people like to draw Michael with a little mole above the left side of his mouth. This was started by @cryptidsp00n
  • Lots of people like to draw Rich with freckles, a tooth gap, and a red streak in his hair. None of these are canon in the musical, although Rich’s red streak is canon in the book. The freckles and tooth gap were started by @richardgoranski
  • these last two were honestly completely optional. its all up to you buddy!!
  • Lots of people like to draw Michael with a gay pride patch on the higher end of his left sleeve. This is essentially canon, and I would advise you most of all to not leave this out. George Salazar (the guy who played Michael) actually tweeted about it, which the fandom interprets to mean that it’s canon that Michael is gay. So honestly I’d advise against ignoring it, although it’s honestly cool if you leave it out m’dude. its your art. The gay pride patch was started by @gayradwhitedad
  • Don’t draw Jenna skinny!!! She’s played by Katie Ladner, who is not skinny!! 
  • Michael’s patches can be done completely canon, as shown in that link. however, everyone seems to have their own patch headcanons for him. ((hmu if you wanna see how i draw his sweatshirt lmao))
  • A lot of things are left up to interpretation!! Is Jeremy taller than Michael?? not canonically, but I love short Michael! Does Jake have frosted tips? Not canonically, but I love frosted Jakey D!
  • As long as you respect skin tones and body types, whatever you want to make is cool!!! Experiment, be free!!

FANFICTION

  • Jeremy is Jewish!! Even if he celebrates Christmas, which some Jewish people do, just bear in mind that he is! not! christian!
  • Christine has ADD, but not ADHD!! she says she has ADD, which is related to ADHD, but not the same thing. ADD is Attention Deficit Disorder, which means she has a hard time focusing on one thing for an extended period of time. ADHD is Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, which means that someone has a hard time paying attention and/or sitting still for extended periods of time. yes, they’re similar, but not synonymous.   
  • Rich is bi!!
  • The girls have just as complex personalities as the boys. please give as much care to developing them as you do to the guys.
  • Chloe did a lot of fucked up things. look out for that. font make her a sweet baby. she doesn’t deserve that.
  • Friendships are just as important as romantic relationships, and can be just as good and interesting!!
  • Jake’s parents are not around, they’re on the run from the law! he has to look after himself, my dudes.
  • the squip is horrible and abusive. it makes Jeremy feel like shit. it tells him that they need to change everything about him because its all awful. it is both emotionally and physically abusive. Both Jeremy and Rich probably suffer from ptsd
  • try to branch out!! as great as boyf riends, richjake, and pinkberry are, also look into things like Jeremy’s relationship with his father, Chloe’s redemption arc (bc she needs redeeming lmao) and even other ships, like deere and expensive headphones :00 while they may not be the main ships of the fandom, they’re all super cute and (i cant find a link rip) Joe Tracz actually said that Rich and Michael would go to prom together!!
  • Michael is comfortable in his own skin!! Ye, he has social anxiety. But he doesn’t hate himself!! One of the defining factors of his personality is that he’s okay with who he is!! There are all kinds of anxiety, and don’t write him as self-hating!! its totally out of character for him :0
  • have fun, dude. be careful, and do your research if you’re writing about tricky topics like eating disorders, abuse, and anxiety. But most of all, just enjoy yourself. as long as you’re respectful, there should be no issues!! 

Feel free to shoot me an ask about any of this, or if you have any questions about if something’s cool to include in fanfic or not! I won’t tell you exactly what you can and cant write/draw, but I will try to nudge you in the right direction! Of course, only if you ask me to!! Anyone can message me about this stuff anytime, I love to help and suggest things!! I’m not scary I promise!!

school starts for me in a little over a week so i thought i’d make a quick back to school masterpost! this is a compilation of tips that i found helpful from youtube study channels, as well as things that i’ve personally done to make school easier. 

  • do your best work as soon as school starts
    • usually the first week(s) of school have a relatively light homework load, but don’t slack off!
    • this is the time to put in the most effort
    • you’ll be able to see which subjects you want to spend more or less time on throughout the semester
    • also, if you turn in great work, participate in class, and go to office hours right from the start, you’re going to keep up those good habits as the school year continues
    • plus, you’ll leave a fantastic impression on your teachers :)
  • use! a! planner!
    • cliché? yes, but it works
    • planners are a great tool to organize so many different aspects of your life, not just school
    • write down your assignments as soon as you get them so that you won’t forget anything, and so that you can plan your day/week accordingly
    • try to space out your assignments if you can so that you don’t spend all of your time on just one subject
    • describe your tasks. instead of saying “study chemistry” (which will turn into binge-watching youtube), say “practice balancing chemical equations”
    • planners are also great for setting and keeping track of goals! 
    • BUT, if planners don’t work for you, use some other way to keep track of your tasks and your time - to do lists, schedules, checklists, bullet journals, etc. choose what works for you!
    • just make sure that you keep all of your tasks in one place. 
  • break down larger tasks, such as projects or papers, throughout the week
    • do a little every day instead of cramming all the work into one night
    • bonus: try to get your assignments reviewed by someone like a teacher or a classmate before turning them in - most teachers are happy to look at drafts and give suggestions that will improve your work and your grade!
    • also, for big projects, my procrastinating brain has found it helpful to ‘reset the deadlines’ - work so that you’ll finish your bigger assignments a few days before they’re actually due
  • a big part of breaking down tasks and planning is also knowing your own study habits
    • try to figure out how long you spend on certain types of assignments, and know how much time you should allocate to specific tasks
  • when you have a choice, go for meaningful
    • for some assignments, such as essays where you can choose your own prompt, it’s easy to choose the easy prompt
    • but whenever you can, try to go for the prompt that will help you to deepen your understanding of the material you’ve learned
    • teachers who reuse prompts will probably see a lot of the “same” essays every year, so this is a way to stand out in a positive way!
  • if you can, declutter
    • or at least try to clean up your study space for the school year
    • having a neat space to work can really go a long way
    • throw out those old pens that have run out of ink and are honestly just there to look pretty
    • also: invest in good lighting because you gotta take care of those beautiful eyes
  • find classmates who can be your study buddies
    • if you know who the “top students” in your class are, seek out their help! get contact info!
    • if you miss classes or have concepts that you’re having trouble with, you’ll always have someone to ask
    • i mean you should always feel comfortable with asking your teacher for help, but it’s nice to have someone to quickly proofread your paper or review for a test with
    • peer tutors are also a great resource!
  • take the time to establish new habits
    • maybe come up with a morning/afternoon/night routine so that you know you’ll spend some time every day being productive
    • and don’t let yourself off the hook here!!
    • some ideas for habits: hydrating properly every day, working out, getting enough sleep every night, avoiding procrastination, journaling, focusing on one thing at a time / not multitasking, going to office hours consistently, participating in class
    • be honest with yourself. what are some things you do every day that you might not need to do every day? and what are some things you hope you can add to your daily routine?
  • speaking of habits, fix that sleep schedule asap
    • if you want to pay attention in class and turn in good work, you’re going to need enough sleep
    • i would recommend sleeping early and waking up early over sleeping late - it just feels less awful throughout the day and it shouldn’t do as much damage to your sleep schedule as one all nighter will
  • get yo priorities straight
    • learn to say “no” to things that will take up your time but won’t really benefit you
    • recognize that not everything is important
  • that being said! take breaks!!
    • burnout is real my friends
    • a lot of people say that you should use your downtime to work, and you definitely can if you want to and feel able to
    • it’s so easy to feel like you have to be studying or working 24/7, and that’s not true
    • if you feel like you really need a break, take a break
    • spend time with your family and friends! treat yourself with some ice cream! go for a walk (without your phone)! call someone who lives far away from you to say you miss them!
    • being productive is great, and even if you’re the kind of person that can handle that much work without burning out, that stress will release itself elsewhere - some harsh words you didn’t mean, some small thing that annoyed you more than it should have

ok that was a lot crammed into one post, but i have one more important point: be excited for school!!! it may be stressful at times (most of the time) but school is a place where we learn things and better ourselves and open our minds to new perspectives! i am personally so psyched for 10th grade and i think having that attitude will make back to school a lot easier :)

i hope some of these tips help you, and as usual feel free to drop me an ask about anything! i’ll be writing more of these “quick tip”-type masterposts for back to school because they’re a looot less time consuming for me to make (being honest here). let me know what you think of this format! and if you have any requests for masterpost topics i’m always open to those. 

anonymous asked:

"I made a quick icon for queer creators" if you wanna call aces lgbt fine i guess even though i disagree but why do you think they can reclaim q***r? the q slur is a slur that has been used explicitly against gay/bi/trans people. nobody has ever been called q***r for not feeling sexual attraction. like historically speaking that's just not something that has happened routinely (if at all).

This is what you basically just said: ‘You must be THIS oppressed to claim an identity.’

First off- I know a LOT of ace-spectrum people who have been not only been called ‘queer’ by oppressors but have also experienced sexuality-based oppression in the form of erasure, corrective rape, and coercive social conditioning. Just about every Ace I know finds themselves thinking ‘something is wrong with me’ because formative sex education does not include topics of non-attraction or sexual repulsion, and this lack of representation often leads to hazardous emotional issues as they grow up. I am literally talking about suicide. 

Your claim that they don’t belong in our community, even, actually is evidence that they deserve representation- simply because despite all the evidence that Aces experience sexuality-based violence and oppression, some of y'all can’t get your heads out of your asses to see that there’s fucking room for them. Every time I get someone hollering up my inbox about how 'aces aren’t queer’ I get about three dozen aces in chorus on how they’re queer as fuck. 

 Aces belong in the LGBTQIA community. Full stop. 

But let’s get to the real meat of this discussion.  I’m going to summarize my feelings on the matter of ‘queer’ being starred out like this. Because this shit has got to stop.

I’m gonna start off this part by saying that there are plenty of other people who have said this better than I have. 

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Almost all the words we use to describe ourselves come from a place of pain. Lesbian, dyke, and gay have all been used as slurs at one point in our history. Why are 'gay’ and 'lesbian’ acceptable labels, celebrated by our community, and the word 'queer’ is not? We reclaimed those, why can’t we reclaim this? If I can’t use 'queer’ because it used to be a slur, then you’re going to have to give up every word that has ever been used to describe us and start from scratch. 

Queer activism has historically been about taking the labels that have been put upon us and turning them into weapons. “I wasn’t recruited, I enlisted” was a classic slogan during a time that people were afraid to be near us, lest we 'recruit’ them into our unsavory lifestyle. Embracing a word used against us removes the pain it creates. Calling myself 'queer’ means that no one can use that word to hurt me. 

I will build my house with the stones thrown by those who seek to hurt me.

But let’s put history aside for the moment and talk about the future. As the study of gender and sexuality progresses, the definitions of terms become more gray and it benefits us to have a word that exemplifies the blurring of terms. I mean… am I really a lesbian if I’m genderfluid and experience the occasional attraction to people who are not female- even though I’ve only had relationships with women? And what about when I’m feeling masculine? Am I a lesbian then? Christ- what am I?

I’m fucking queer, friend-o. 

Queer is an incredibly useful term that encapsulates the vagueness of the relationship between gender and attraction. There are so many different terms in the LGBTQIA community that we often question which letter we are. 'Queer’ is a useful term for people whose intersectionality puts them in an indefinite area of identity. 

What better word to describe a person who does not fit than one synonymous with oddness? We gather together in our strangehoods and we are queered together. 

Up until the 2000’s, 'queer’ was a perfectly acceptable word to use in the community and was in fact used academically to describe the movement. The slogan was 'We’re here, we’re queer: get used to it.’ Queer as Folk. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. It was THE WORD. Its use as a slur had been diminished to the point that very few people even equated the word with violence anymore- it was just the word that we used to describe ourselves. 

Don’t think I don’t see a correlation between the shunning of queerness and the rise of intersectionality. When we started seeing more gender nonconformists, more poc, people of religious inclinations, more variety of ability, of age, of mental state, variety of sexual activity and attraction. When we started seeing a rise in demand for representation, when we started calling for more diverse discussions, when we started calling out supremacy in our community. 

That was when I started seeing people rally against the word 'queer.’ Because it was these people, who were so radically not homogenous homosexuals, that were using the word loudly and proudly. And the LGBTQIA community can call itself as welcoming as it wants- but don’t think for a second that this wasn’t about gatekeeping. The battlecry of queerness just suddenly isn’t cool anymore, guys.

I’d be willing to believe that most people don’t see it that way. That they hear 'hey, 'queer’ is a slur and you shouldn’t use it’ and think that this isn’t just yet-another gatekeeping method. But that is where it comes from. It comes from not wanting a us to be proud of our ambiguity and our intersectionality. 

I’m not going to make anyone call themselves anything, but you can’t stop me from calling myself the one thing in a long, long time that fit so right in the seat of my soul. You cannot censor me. You cannot stop me. 

Just like you can’t stop Asexuals from reclaiming queerness. 

We’re here, we’re queer- and you can pry my queerness from my cold, dead, ace-loving, skyward fist.

4

Ezekiel Jones + Drinking

It’s easy to be close, but almost impossible to stay close. Think about friends. Think about hobbies. Even ideas. They’re close to us–sometimes so close we think they are part of us–and then, at some point, they aren’t close anymore. They go away. Only one thing can keep something close over time: holding it there. Grappling with it. Wrestling it to the ground, as Jacob did with the angel, and refusing to let go. What we don’t wrestle we let go of. Love isn’t the absence of struggle. Love is struggle.
—  Jonathan Safran Foer, Here I Am
Chloe Headcanons

Some During/Post-Redemption thoughts with the implications of superhero shenanigans: 

  • Chloe only uses her ‘mean girl’ voice when she encounters another mean human being.
    • During Lycee she once saw Rose being yelled at by a customer at her part-time flower shop job. She didn’t hesitate to step in and put that customer in their place. 
  • She hates getting praise for doing the right thing. 
    • One time during Lycee she found a crowd gathering around an upset Alya. After dispersing the crowd Marinette tried to thank her, but she merely responded with: “What are you talking about? I was just wanted to get the perfect angle for this instagram picture of my nails.” 
  • Unless she’s Bee. 
    • “Oh you’re most welcome random citizen who is most certainly not my best friend!” - Actual quote after narrowly saving Sabrina from a nasty fall. 
  • Chloe over-compensates for her past actions. 
    • At first she tried to buy everyone she had wronged a large expensive gift as a way of apologizing. It shocks her when Alix throws away a $200 pair of skates without batting an eyelash.
      • What really gets her, though, is when Rose politely refuses to accept the gift. When Chloe asks her why, she takes her aside and explains why gifts wont guarantee forgiveness. 
  • Eventually Chloe gets better at showing everyone how sorry she is and most of them forgive her on some level.
    • During the last month of Lycee Chloe invites all of girls from her college homeroom for a sleepover. At first it only seems that a few people are going to show up, but eventually everyone comes around. All is not forgotten, though, as seen through some of the dares that Alix throws her way… but they’re all getting there. 
      • And of course Chloe never lets Alix live down the only dare that she has ever turned down. It becomes legendary, but what happens at a sleepover stays at a sleepover so none of the guys ever find out. Though Kim is still perplexed as to what it was. 
  • Halfway through Lycee she discovers who Ladybug is on accident.
    • It absolutely wrecks her to know that she used to terrorize Ladybug.
      • She won’t admit to Marinette that she knows until they’re almost out of Lycee because she fears the day when she realizes that her beloved teammate is actually her used-to-be bully. 
    • She starts to “passively” help Marinette.
      • Tardy excuses, notes for missed classes that they share (and a few times mysteriously for ones they don’t), ordering extravagant orders from the shop and leaving overly generous tips…There was even one time when Marinette ‘randomly’ received an invitation to an high profile event to give her the opportunity to network. 
    • There are a few times when she slips off her haughty act and intervenes in earnest. 
      • At the beginning of their final year Ladybug is brought under the media’s critical eye following a battle turned sour. A non-miraculous wielding enemy showed up on Paris’ doorstep and her Miraculous cure was unable to fix the damage. No one was killed, thankfully, but many blame her. 
        • One day, all of the guilt becomes too much for Marinette to handle and she breaks down in the middle of class without provocation. Chloe, being one of the few who know the whole story, whisks Marinette to the bathroom and stations Sabrina in the hallway to stop everyone from entering. 
        • Once there, Chloe helps Marinette put herself back together enough to make it home. She then escorts her home and doesn’t leave her side until the next day. 
          • Chloe never explicitly states that she knows or who she is, but it doesn’t take much for Marinette to put the pieces together. 
  • Chloe and Sabrina remain best friends throughout it all. Though, as the years go on, their circle widens considerably. 
    • This isn’t to say that they don’t go through some of their own rough patches… They just learn how to handle them better as the years go by. 
    • Oddly enough Nino is the first person to enter their circle. He and Sabrina start hanging out when their “totally not a superhero” best friends go off to save the world. They, of course, don’t tell anyone that they know… but they totally know and do what they can as civilians to help their buds… and also to give their friends heart attacks.
      • Also Nino is low-key trying to be wingman to Sabrina, but Chloe is just a bit too dense to figure it out.  

If there’s one thing I’ve noticed in my time on tumblr, “unprofessional” is a word that gets trotted out a lot by people who have clearly never been professionals in the industry they’re commenting on.