Here Part 1

Blogmas day 2 but part one of something that will probably go on a bit longer than blogmas. I hope you enjoy it.


Y/N is a single parent living in London. With a job to juggle, an awkward co-parenting situation and an 18 month old baby boy she could really do with a hand and when Harry makes an entrance in her life maybe she’ll get just that. 

4.7k | Just an introduction


‘Come on Alfie baby, please.’ Y/N begged her 18-month-old baby boy like she used to beg her mum for money to go out for the night. She tried to put him in the pram but his flailing limbs and ear-splitting, heart-breaking screams were making it impossible. If she’d tried hard enough she probably could have managed but she didn’t want to. Y/N was tired and worn out as well and she just wanted Alfie to settle and this clearly wasn’t going to do it. She wanted to cry and if her mum wasn’t standing in the living room doorway watching her struggle in the small hallway where Alfie’s shrill cries were reverberating off every wall, she probably would have done.

She sighed, the sign that she’d given up and Alfie seemed to know that too because he instantly seemed to calm. He hiccupped a few times as his breathing settled and his cries turned to shallow sobs. Y/N put her large kit bag in the seat of the pram and rested Alfie on her hip, his small head leaning on her shoulder and burrowing into her neck where he found the most comfort. She could feel his damp cheek on her own jaw line as he settled in and she felt the guilt she always felt when he cried and screamed.

‘What have you been feeding him?’ Y/N asked her mum quietly but her voice scalding and accusatory. Alfie was gripping her shirt now in his small fists. Her mother stepped forward her folded arms falling by her side.

‘Only what you left for him.’ Her mum told her but Y/N didn’t believe her and the way she raised her eyebrows made her mother aware of that.

‘No chocolate buttons?’ She was trying to make light of it but if the answer was what Y/N suspected she wasn’t going to be particularly happy. She’d told her mother so many times he wasn’t to keep having chocolate buttons. He might enjoy them at the time but her mother was never there to deal with the come down, now she’d witnessed the meltdown that always followed sugary treats with Alfie, maybe she’d realise Y/N wasn’t overreacting.

‘Maybe.’ Her mother admitted. Y/N rolled her eyes sighing so deeply that Alfie stirred. She hushed him bouncing him ever so slightly. He sighed deeply as he closed his eyes again and snuggled in the warm familiarity of his mother.

‘Mum,’ Y/N moaned, ‘he’ll be so cranky, he’s got to go to Josh’s you know what he’s like.’

‘That man needs to lighten up.’ Her mother announced and although Y/N knew she was right she raised her eyebrows at her. Josh had fathered her child and nothing more, but unlike Y/N who had come to terms with it all and was making the best of it and loving and enjoying bringing up her little boy, Josh seemed to resent the product of his drunken mistake. He did the bare minimum he had to, just enough to still earn the title ‘Daddy’, for Alfie to love him how a son of eighteen months loves his father, but nothing more. ‘I’m sorry love, I just can’t resist seeing his smile when I give them to him.’

‘It’s ok mum, just not so many please?’ Her mother nodded and Y/N smiled moving closer to her mother. ‘I’ve got to shoot, thanks for having him again.’ Y/N kissed her mother on the cheek before turning for the door grabbing the pram by the handle and moving it towards the front door.

‘Anytime love, you know that.’ Her mother said from behind her whilst reaching forward to open the door, exposing them all to London’s viciously cold winter air. ‘Bye Alfie, love you.’ She whispered placing a gentle kiss on his small head covered with thick brown curls. Y/N walked out the door bracing herself against the cold with a huge tartan scarf and huge black, faux fur coat wishing she didn’t have to leave the warmth and comfort of her mum and dad’s house.

Y/N headed for the nearest tube station walking as quickly as she could with a buggy full of both her over stuffed kit bag, Alfie’s nappy bag and Alfie resting on her shoulder. He was beginning to stir, Y/N could hear him making the quiet noises of unhappiness and his head was rubbing against her clothed shoulder. Her own teeth were chattering together despite her warm winter clothing so she was sure Alfie must be absolutely freezing even with the excessive number of layers she’d put him in before attempting to leave her parents’ house.

Y/N held her little bundle of a baby closer and rested her own head on his trying to keep him comforted and as warm as possible as they headed for the nearest tube station, a ten-minute walk away. Y/N contemplated the journey ahead, the ten-minute walk then the fifteen-minute tube journey with one stop followed by the five-minute walk to Josh’s detached, two-bedroom cosy as Christmas house. The envy was undeniable, she wished she could provide for Alfie the same way Josh could. Alfie didn’t go without by any means but at Josh’s he had a big bedroom filled with all the things a baby boy could ever want. Apart from a father who would go to the ends of the earth for him like his mother would, as Y/N’s mother often reminded her.

Y/N was a month out of uni when she took the pregnancy test. She could remember it so vividly. Dressed in her black leotard her jogging bottoms covering her bare legs, waiting in the bathroom of her parent’s house for the stick to develop. She was praying for a negative result. Y/N knew exactly who’s it was, she had his number but she didn’t even know his last name. It had been a stupid, drunken one night thing, the night of her last exam and excitement for the future took over and she agreed to go back to his and let it slide when he said he didn’t have any condoms. She’d taken her pill that morning so what were the chances.

Her period was two weeks late by that point and she knew it didn’t matter how much she hoped it for it to be negative it wasn’t going to be. And there it was, the morning of her first big audition since university and she was pregnant. She didn’t bother going to the audition, she wouldn’t be able to take the job even if she got it and that’s when life changed. Josh promised he’d help and be involved. To start with Y/N thought they could make something out of it but as the nine months progressed it became clearer if Josh wanted any part of his inheritance from his London lawyer parents he couldn’t be involved with Y/N and it was obvious what his choice was.

It would be unfair to say Josh had abandoned his baby and her because he didn’t. At the beginning, he was there a lot, he was there for the birth, he was there to take Alfie and Y/N home from the hospital, he was there when Y/N was overtired and couldn’t cope but after six months or so Josh became more and more distant and it surprised Y/N that Alfie even knew who ‘Dadda’ was for a while. He helped out less and less and today was a prime example of that. He could have picked Alfie up from Y/N’s, she had no car and she’d asked nicely – he was too busy. He could have picked Alfie up from her mum’s so Y/N didn’t have to make this awkward journey – he was too busy. He was always too busy, even when they’d arranged for Josh to have Alfie for the day, or evening or even the afternoon, he’d often call to say he was too busy.

If it was entirely up to Y/N she wouldn’t let Josh have anything to do with Alfie, he didn’t really deserve it. But Y/N had to admit she needed him, she couldn’t afford to be out of work and she couldn’t expect her parent’s or sister to look after Alfie every time she needed a hand. Josh took Alfie two days every week, most weeks, so Y/N could go to work, her parents would have him one day and the occasional evening when Y/N managed to get extra work. Tonight, they couldn’t, and much to Josh’s dismay it meant he had to spend the evening at home so mother of his child could make some extra money.

The small street to the tube station was lit up with Christmas lights decorating houses. Through un-curtained windows of the terraced houses she could see Christmas tree’s decorated with tinsel, fairy lights and an array of different coloured baubles. Just the sight of the twinkling lights brought a warmth to her and Y/N couldn’t help but smile. She half wished Alfie was awake to see them all but was very glad he was snoozing away, it would make the journey ahead a lot easier.

The road was long, she couldn’t even see the sign for the underground yet and the row of houses was still thick. They would run out and disperse into newsagents and other small shops before she got to the tube station. Y/N knew this road so well, it had been on her daily commute into uni and after that to work until she moved out of her parent’s house into her own small flat. The first time she’d walked down it on her own, on her way to secondary school it had been exciting and the same for about two weeks after that but slowly she began to resent it. It was long and tiring and the more you were carrying the longer and more tiring it felt.

Y/N was using every bit of her will power to ignore the pain that was slowly increasing in her hip where Alfie rested. She wanted to swap him over to the other but she dared not disturb him. She didn’t want a repeat of her mother’s hallway in the street. It was quiet but not quiet enough that his screams would go unnoticed by passers-by and the last thing she needed was silent judgement from strangers on top of the guilt she knew she’d feel if Alfie were to get as distressed as he did earlier. Just the slight movement she made as she shifted Alfie upwards from her hip a little was enough to make him stir he lifted his head a little and she could see as she looked down at him that his big brown eyes were open wide. She shushed him quietly and pressed a kiss to his temple, straining her neck a little to reach him. But it soothed him and he settled back on her shoulder quietly just as a black range rover pulled up the car beside her.

Y/N looked to it but the windows were blacked out and she didn’t know anyone who drove a range rover.  She only knew two people who could afford a range rover and one of those was in America and she didn’t think he owned a range rover and the other was sat in his house on the other side of London preparing for, but probably not looking forward to, the arrival of his son. She carried on walking ignoring the vehicle that was slow moving beside her assuming they were looking for a certain house. She looked down at Alfie on her shoulder hoping the whirring of the engine wasn’t going to disturb him again.

‘Y/N.’ Y/N recognised the voice immediately she turned to the car. His familiar bright smile greeting her from out the passenger side window. She smiled and stopped walking moving closer to the car window and leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. His skin was warm on hers from the car’s heating and it was a sweet, momentary relief.

‘Oh my god Louis I didn’t even know you were home.’ Y/N all but cried as she took in her old friend who looked worn out and ready for a good night’s sleep in his own bed. It had been a while since she’d seen him, he’d been out in America for a long time after One Direction had gone their separate way’s but judging by who she could see was driving the car, they weren’t as separate as people would believe. His long hair was now cut short but it was growing back slowly, curls just beginning to form again, the thick mop of hair pushed back away from his face. A typically loud, patterned shirt adorned his torso and she could put a safe bet on black skinny jeans on his bottom half. She’d met Harry a couple of times, not enough to get to know him, but enough to know he had an eccentric taste in fashion.

‘We got back last night, I was going to call you tomorrow.’ Louis told her. She could feel her smile still plastered on her face but she didn’t care. Louis had been, and still was really, one of her best friends. He’d been so supportive through her pregnancy and when made sure he saw her whenever he was in London and even flew home from Paris when Alfie was born to see him and be with Y/N for a while. Of course they didn’t talk everyday like they once had. Louis was often hectic with work, and frequently in a different time zone and Y/N had a baby to contend with and juggle with her own job. But Louis was still someone Y/N couldn’t cope without and she was certain it was mutual. On more than one occasion she’d had midnight calls from Louis, he was stressed about something work related, girl problems – the normal but she didn’t mind one bit she liked being there for him because she knew there would be times when she’d need the same from him.  

‘Well there’s no need now.’ Y/N joked, Louis smiled brightly. Y/N loved his smile it had always been one of her favourite things about Louis, it literally brightened up the room for Y/N and no matter what it always bought a smile to her face. He’d been one of the first to know about Y/N’s pregnancy aside from her family and her absolute best friend she’d cried but true to form Louis had lightened the situation made her see the bright side of it all and bought a smile to her face. She could always rely on him when she needed a laugh and she did just that, even when he was on the other side of the world sometimes.

‘Don’t be ridiculous I need to take you for lunch or something we haven’t hung out in so long.’ Louis said and Y/N chuckled, it was true but she always left arranging things to Louis. He was so much busier than her so it was easiest if he decided when and where and she’d fit things around him. ‘I’ll give you a call tomorrow and we can sort something out.’

‘Yeah definitely.’ Y/N nodded though slightly distracted as Alfie began to moan and lift his head. She bounced him gently on his hip shushing him as she did so though to no avail. His lips pouted and his brow frowned, this was the beginning of a very upset Alfie. She could feel her heart dropping already as she continued to bounce him and talk to him. A hand reached out and took Alfie’s much smaller hand, at first, she thought it was Louis’ but the she noticed the rings and lack of rope tattoo on his wrist. She looked into the car to see Harry leaning over Louis and focusing completely on Alfie who seemed to quiet with Harry’s attention and cooing noises with the odd addition of silly faces which slowly earned a quiet giggle.

‘How is the little man?’ Louis’ question bought Y/N’s attention from Alfie’s interaction with Harry back to Louis inside the car where she could see Harry leaning further across Louis, perched literally on the edge of his seat so Alfie could see him as he continued to entertain the small child whilst Y/N and Louis chatted. Louis looked slightly uncomfortable as he sat as far back in his seat as possible to allow Harry to lean out of the window slightly. Y/N had to hold back a laugh as Louis rolled his eyes at his friend and former bandmate whose attention was completely on Alfie.

‘He’s not so bad.’ Y/N told Louis smiling as she heard another giggle from Alfie. ‘I’ve just picked him up from mum’s so he’s coming down from a chocolate button high hence the near meltdown.’ Louis chuckled and Y/N saw Harry look up at her from Alfie out of the corner of her eye. Alfie seemed more settled and Harry took his head falling back on your shoulder as a good time to sit back in his own chair for a moment.

‘Sounds like Haz.’ Y/N chuckled at Louis’ joke made funnier by the eye roll he earned from Harry. Louis turned to look at Harry and she could imagine a wink was exchanged, ‘Have you met Y/N?’ Louis asked Harry. Harry looked at her, smiled and nodded she was grateful he remembered the minimal times he’d met her or it could have got slightly awkward.

‘Yeah a couple of times I think.’ Harry smiled at Y/N who smiled back trying to not feel uncomfortable as the attention focused from her son to her. When Y/N had Alfie with her the attention of those around them was largely on Alfie and she couldn’t blame people, she was the same, he was a gorgeous little boy with chubby cheeks, big brown doe like eyes and a mass of dark brown curls. On the whole he was well behaved and had a cheeky personality he was endearing so when the attention shifted to her it felt slightly foreign and she wasn’t always sure the best way to react. ‘I’m Harry though, just in case.’ She giggled lightly under her breath and nodded at the good-looking boy sat behind her best friend.

‘Y/N’ She confirmed to which he nodded also. ‘You going to say hi to Lou Lou and Harry Alf?’ She cooed down at Alfie taking the attention away from herself once again and bouncing Alfie a touch to get his attention. His eyes were wide and awake now thanks to Harry but not filled with tears, thanks to Harry. Alfie grinned widely but buried his face in Y/N’s thick fur coat embarrassed with all eyes on him. Y/N chucked and bounced him a few more times as Louis tickled Alfie’s side earning a high-pitched scream-laugh from the little boy.

‘Where are you off to anyway?’ Louis asked when it became clear that he wasn’t going to get any sort of response apart from loud, shrill laughs from Alfie.

‘Taking this little man to his dads for the evening.’ Y/N said. She could hear the unhappiness in her tone so you were sure Louis and Harry did as well. Her voice sounded bored and fed up to her own ears so how could it not to them, she just hoped Louis didn’t make a trademark snarky comment.

‘Where’s your car?’ Louis asked to which Y/N sighed audibly this time instead of just silently to herself.

‘Garage.’ She told him rolling her eyes, ‘don’t ask it’s just been one of those weeks.’ She said laughing simply to lighten the mood though in reality the way this week was going made her want to cry.

‘Could Josh not have picked him up?’

‘Y’know what he’s like Lou.’ Y/N said softly in hope it would soften Louis’ sudden shift in attitude. She knew from experience how this conversation could go and she really didn’t want it to go that way right now. If her mother disliked Josh another word would be needed for how Louis felt towards him and he wasn’t afraid to make those feelings known.

‘He’s a lot like an arse hole.’ Louis said matter of factly without any qualms. Y/N rolled her eyes sighing making it as clear as possible she really didn’t want him being like this right now. She could have easily nodded along; his words weren’t that distant from her own thoughts but that would only add fuel to the fire and she didn’t want it to carry on whilst Alfie was so wide awake and Louis’ best friend was listening in.

‘Do you want a lift?’ Harry piped up from behind Louis possibly sensing the tension and trying to help disperse it. Y/N was a bit taken aback by the question, she’d been so focused on Louis and trying to stop him from getting so irate with Josh’s way of doing things that she’d almost forgotten Harry was there.

‘Oh, no it’s fine thank you.’ Y/N started a bit flustered looking to Alfie so the boys couldn’t see it on her face. ‘It’s probably quicker for me to get the tube and I’ve got to get somewhere after I’ve dropped him.’ Y/N explained still smiling at Harry whose eyes were still on her when she looked back at him.

‘Where are you going?’ Louis asked Y/N looking up at her a slight wash of confusion over his face.

‘I’ve got a rehearsal for a thing tonight.’ Y/N explained not wanting to be questioned. It wasn’t the sort of job she’d normally accept but the money was good and she needed it at this time of year more than ever. She wanted to make sure Alfie had the best Christmas possible this year and she’d do whatever she had to, to make sure it happened. And at the end of the day it was a charity event so it was for a good cause.

‘Well why don’t we take you there and then we can drop Alfie at Josh’s?’ Louis suggestion was kind and Y/N was grateful but she shook her head. She couldn’t accept. ‘Y/N.’

‘No Louis, I’ll be fine, I’m really grateful but it’s fine.’ Y/N insisted as forcefully as she could without sounding rude. After all it had been Harry’s suggestion and she hardly knew him so she didn’t want to offend him.

‘At least let us drop Alfie off.’ Louis practically begged taking Y/N’s hand. She laughed at him though Louis’ serious face didn’t change at all.

‘Josh’ll go mad.’

‘I don’t give a shit.’ Y/N sighed again glaring at Louis. Apart from anything else he kept swearing in front of an eighteen-month-old who was starting to pick up the English language and she really didn’t want him picking up Louis’ vocabulary.

‘I do Lou.’ Y/N said beginning to sound slightly fed up with the whole thing. ‘He is the father of my child and I do have to share my son’s time with him.’ Y/N reminded Louis though it was something she wished wasn’t true and something she’d prefer to forget.

‘Y/N enough,’ The force in Louis voice took Y/N slightly by surprise, ‘Let me help you out I’m not here to do it as often as I want and he is my godson.’ Louis reminded Y/N this time and she sighed she knew she couldn’t argue with that. Every time they spoke Louis always mentioned how he wished he could be there for her and Alfie more and now he had the chance she wasn’t letting him. It seemed unfair and she knew that. ‘You want to come with Uncle Lou?’ Louis said in a softened voice tickling Alfie’s tummy again but instead of a laugh this time Alfie moaned and pouted.

‘That sounds like a no to me Lou.’ Harry laughed as Louis quickly did all he could to stop Alfie bursting into tears. Y/N smiled at the interaction as Alfie slowly came around and a smile began to take over his chubby cheeks before a little giggle left his mouth.

‘That’s more like it.’ Louis smiled and Y/N couldn’t help but notice the small grin that was on Harry’s face as well as he watched Alfie fall into a fit of laughter again, as this time Louis entertained Alfie.

‘Have you even got a car seat?’ Y/N asked hoping a major technicality would get her out of this. It wasn’t that she didn’t want Louis to look after Alfie any other time and she wouldn’t have even questioned it but she knew how Josh might react and that made her nervous. Added to that Louis wouldn’t bite his tongue if Josh said something and he was bound to ask why it was that Josh couldn’t pick up his own son up to help Y/N out and Louis wouldn’t take Josh’s fabricated truths lying down like Y/N did purely for an easy life. It wasn’t worth the argument.

‘Yeah Lux’s is in the back, I had her for a bit today.’ Harry said, explaining himself quickly. Y/N was sure Harry didn’t know she knew who Lux was even though she knew her well thanks to Louis’ introduction to Louise. He was quick to explain that he’d only had her for a bit, Y/N supposed Harry probably didn’t want Y/N thinking he had a child of his own as well that he was keeping a secret from the world.

‘Ok fine.’ Y/N sighed finally giving in. She couldn’t say no to Louis for much longer and she really had to get going and she was sure Louis would keep her there until she said yes. Louis’ bright smile took over his face and it warmed Y/N’s heart.

Louis was quick to jump out of the car to help Y/N get her things from the pram and get Alfie settled in the back. Y/N gave Alfie a kiss and a sweet goodbye before passing Alfie over to Louis who leant into the back of the car to settle him in the unfamiliar car seat. Harry had turned in his seat to keep him entertained and distracted from the fact his mum was leaving whilst Louis and Y/N sorted the things out. Y/N grabbed her bag from the pram and let Louis deal with the rest.

‘Thank you so much Harry.’ Y/N said poking her head into the front of the car whilst Louis was putting the pram in the boot.

‘It’s really not a problem honestly.’ Harry reassured smiling at Y/N to comfort her further. Y/N nodded backing out of the way so she could thank Louis and say goodbye to him. She pulled him into a hug whispering a thank you and a be nice in his ear to which Louis chuckled.

‘It’s fine Y/N I’ll call you tomorrow about lunch?’ Y/N nodded as she let Louis go and get back into the car. She still felt nervous about how this would end and expected a nasty phone all from Josh before work that night.

‘Text me when you get him to Josh’s please Lou?’

‘I will.’ Louis smiled the same reassuring smile Harry had earlier. It did comfort Y/N but the anxiety was still there she didn’t particularly like leaving Alfie at the best of times but she had to tell herself to get over it and Josh would have to as well. Louis was Alfie’s godfather and she had every right to let him take her son for an hour so she could get to work.

The car pulled away and Y/N carried onto the tube station smiling and focusing on the bright Christmas lights that sill bought her warmth. She looked forward to the straight forward, three-stop tube journey and smiled at the thought of Alfie smiling and laughing with his godfather and new friend in the back of Harry’s car.

autumn leaves by suspendrs (27k)

“Brave?” Harry frowns, caught off guard. “No, not particularly.”

“You seem brave,” Louis decides, pushing off the wall and stepping on the butt of his cigarette. “You are strong, and you are not mean. That’s good,” he assures, touching Harry’s arm gently.

“Thank you, but that’s not true,” Harry smiles ruefully. “I’m really not anything special.”

Or, Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn’t mean to fall in love with him.

Blogmas 2; Decorations and Surprises.

(2nd December, 2016)

The missus telling harry she’s pregnant by a cute Christmas gift x


I absolutely adored these requests - thank you so much to the Anons for sending these in so I could write them for you throughout December. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed writing this story.

I promise that I’ll fall into a regular schedule as soon as I sort my time out and everything; I won’t be posting late every day. 

This is also rather rusty, so, I deeply apologise. I seem to be loosing my motivation and it sucks right now. I promise, I’m trying to restore everything so I can write freely and flowing like I used too. Bear with me, haha. xx

Keep reading