I like over sized sweatshirts and long winter walks.
I like the smell of brewing coffee and the taste of it once it’s filled with far too much cream.
The sweatshirts are because I take comfort in hiding, because I don’t like the feeling of being seen.
The winter walks are because that numbness isn’t only in my mind, everyone feels it and in that moment I’m a little less crazy.
The smell of coffee is because that’s all I want to remember from my childhood, because despite who did what or said that, coffee was always brewing and I could always rely on it.
And the taste of it, well that’s because it’s all that keeps me awake, because even though I want to sleep for a million forevers I’m scared to, so the taste keeps me living for one day at a time.
And I know that I like these things for reasons without joy,
but maybe one day these things can bring me joy again.
Maybe one day I’ll leave the sweatshirts and carry a sweater.
Maybe one day I’ll favor fall’s walks over winter’s.
Maybe one day I’ll want to rely on something more then a scent to remember my childhood by.
Maybe one day I won’t need the taste of coffee to make me want to wake up.
I love looking through a folder with ancient sketches because I find shit like this
yeah, it’s Dipper and Stan in Treasure Planet crossover/AU setting :D now I actually regret not finishing this because it would make an epic AU and holy shit, all those parallels between Jim/Silver and Stan/Dipper relationships