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All of this Pilot discussion on my dash and it reminded me that I’ve had this set sitting in my drafts for ages because I really wanted to talk about this scene in particular. Pilot discussion time.

For the second time in the past few days, Henry has run away, been found and brought home by someone other than her, and that someone has been the birth mother she was never suppose to have to worry about being a part of her sons life. I don’t think we’re really meant to see how much this hurts Regina at the time (At this point we’re still suppose to be guessing whether she even loves Henry) but then you see this. Regina opening the door, blood-shot eyes, stuffing tissues in her jacket. She’s clearly been crying since she last saw Emma (after letting her help find Henry again, simply because it was best for Henry. Like how she let Emma pull Henry from the mines and asked David to get him from her vault, it’s just another testament to how Regina really would put her own feelings aside for Henry’s best interest. His safety has always come before her pride). Emotional exhaustion is etched into her face and stance, he won’t even glance at her, and she doesn’t try to say a word to him as he runs past her. It’s just a really emotionally tense moment. This and the scene later with Henry laying in bed really give off just how broken and strained their relationship is at this time, and how it’s a constant struggle and weight on both of them.

What I love about this moment is that it’s seconds long and yet shows so much about Regina and her relationship with Henry at the time. It was one of those humanizing moments that Lana added that deepened Regina and Regal Believer super early on. I didn’t notice it the first time I watched the pilot but there were many other moments in the first season similar to this (some subtle and some more blatant) that show Regina’s true colors. There were discussions the other day about why people seemed to love Regina so early on despite being led to believe how dark and evil she was. This is one of those reasons. The subtle bits of humanity that seeped through.

I think the writers had a lot of fun in S1 leading the audience on with Regina. Making us guess who she was and why she was the way she was. Was she pure evil? What were her intentions with the curse? Was she herself cursed? What happened to make her this way? Did she really love Henry? All questions we were suppose to be asking to make their reveals that much more poignant. I believe our initial impression was suppose to be Regina the big, bad and evil. That’s why they waited on revealing her backstory until the backhalf of the season rather than the second episode like they initially planned, and why they asked Lana to downplay Regina’s love for Henry for ambiguity purposes. It was all because those things humanized Regina and made her hard to villainize. For the most part they seemed successful, but I think Lana really found ways of humanizing Regina early on and in the end it worked to the shows benefit. It really helped consistency of her character and storyline. It’s nice being able to go back to the Pilot and still see real Regina, rather than a fake first viewing version meant to throw us off course of who she really is.

How easily one dimensional Regina could have ended up being back in S1 due to the producers intent and Lana’s lack of knowledge of the character. But going back, you really notice how much layer Lana added to Regina in S1 just by performance. Despite how little they told her, she still somehow added in all the layers the writers meant to reveal Regina having later, and more! This is just one of the many.

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*i think about this a lot because like, regina was so hurt by emma. she was hurt and betrayed and she felt this with everything in her that emma never had her back, and that she’d never have her back because whenever emma tried to help her, it’d hurt her more. and like ever since this statement she’s tried everything in her power to show regina that she does have her back and then this sacrifice was like the ultimate, i’d do anything to help you so that you can keep your happiness, regina, from emma and it just gets me all the time

I see Emma as having an empty space in her where the darkness was taken out of her in the womb. That emptiness has unknowingly haunted her. She has fought her whole life to rise above the bad things that have happened to her. When she feels betrayed by the lies of her parents — and she feels responsible for the darkness in Lily’s life — I felt that the empty spot started to fill with all of the hurt, anger, rage and pain that she has always pushed down and avoided. A well of darkness that she has avoided begins to pool inside her and starts filling that empty spot. The red in her eyes, her pale skin…it is meant to be the outward manifestation of that pain and rage pooling inside her. We are all capable of great things and we are all capable of terrible things. Emma is stretched so thin. She initially had no break from the struggles of her early life, and recently she has had no break from the pressures of being “the savior.” She is starting to crumble internally because she has had no time to be true to herself or to heal herself. This leaves her vulnerable to bad choices or at least extreme choices. She kills Cruella out of the sheer primal instinct to save her child. She is in the darkest place she has ever been, but with good reason. Her whole life has lead up to this moment. Her family and friends will help her fight to overcome this darkness and she will rise above it, but it does show that she will do whatever it takes to save the people she loves, even at the expense of her own soul.
—  Jennifer Morrison and the most fantastic description of Emma, ever [x]

Just think about this: Emma loves Hook so much that telling him is the last thing she thinks she’ll ever say

Sure, she has hope that she can be brought back from being the Dark One but she can’t know for sure. For all she knows that moment on the street could be her last. And the thing she chooses to say is that she loves him because it’s that important to her that he knows. Because she loves him that much

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One Song One Picture[set]
       > > > “Monsters” by Timeflies x

I got a heart made of fool’s gold / Got me feeling so cold / But you chipping away / All the promises that I told / Felt like I was on those / But keep slipping away / I want nobody else / But it’s hard to get to know me / When I don’t know myself / And it helps ‘cause I felt / I was down, I was out / Then you looked at me now / And said