Oath-Taking

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4 (And maybe 5) Grounds to Impeach Trump

By my count, there are now four grounds to impeach Donald Trump. The fifth appears to be on its way.

First, in taking the oath of office, a president promises to “faithfully execute the laws & the constitution.” That’s Article II Section 2. 

But Trump is unfaithfully executing his duties as president by accusing his predecessor, president Obama, of undertaking an illegal and impeachable act, with absolutely no evidence to support the accusation.

Second, Article I Section 9 of the Constitution forbids government officials from taking things of value from foreign governments. But Trump is making big money off his Trump International Hotel by steering foreign diplomatic delegations to it, and will make a bundle off China’s recent decision to grant his trademark applications for the Trump brand – decisions Chinese authorities arrived at directly because of decisions Trump has made as president.

Third: The 1st Amendment to the Constitution bars any law “respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” But Trump’s ban on travel into the United States from 6 muslim countries – which he initiated, advocated for, and oversees – violates that provision.

Fourth: The 1st Amendment also bars “abridging the freedom of the press.” But Trump’s labeling the press “the enemy of the people,” and choosing who he invites to news conferences based on whether they’ve given him favorable coverage, violates this provision.

A fifth possible ground if the evidence is there: Article II Section 3 of the Constitution defines “treason against the United States” as “adhering to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort.”

Evidence is mounting that Trump and his aides colluded with Russian operatives to win the 2016 presidential election.

Presidents can be impeached for what the Constitution calls “high crimes and misdemeanors.” The question is no longer whether there are grounds to impeach Trump. The practical question is whether there’s the political will.

As long as Republicans remain in the majority in the House, where a bill of impeachment originates, it’s unlikely. Another reason why it’s critically important to flip the House in 2018.

anonymous asked:

I know Canada is effed up for indigenous peoples, does it also have the same problems the Americans have with other minorities being threatened? IE- Black people and Latinos and people of Asian and Middle Eastern descent?

There is certainly racism towards other ethnic groups. Don’t believe anyone who proclaims that this doesn’t happen up here:

Nearly All Chinese and South Asian British Columbians Have Faced Discrimination

‘Leave Canada’ spray-painted on Sikh temple in south Edmonton

Fatal police shooting of Andrew Loku inspires ‘black lives matter’ chant

Do Black Lives Matter in Canada?

What Canadians are learning from Ferguson

Halifax man says he felt ‘humiliated’ by extra questioning by Air Canada agents

Ferguson: Not so far away from Toronto

Racist vandalism defaces Ward 2 election signs

'Blackface’ students win Halloween contest

Anti-Muslim bullying on rise after Canada attacks

Calgary Muslim women fearing terrorism backlash

Racism in Winnipeg: Newcomer to Canada shares ‘colourism’ experience

François Legault says all mosques should be investigated prior to opening

Quebec judge wouldn’t hear case of woman wearing hijab - Montreal - CBC News

CSIS flags Canadian online anti-Islam threat in Public Safety briefing

Prime Minister Stephen Harper wants to forbid women from wearing niqabs when taking their oath of citizenship.

I see a lot of people talking about making oaths to certain deities and paths, but it took me awhile to figure out why that it makes me uncomfortable.  There are people that need to be reminded that when you take any oath, that it isn’t temporary, it is for life, it is not something you just do when you are just starting out working with that deity or on a whim because you think that deity is “cool”.

As Always
-Robin

2

Trump says he’s “100%” willing to testify under oath about James Comey meetings

  • Trump on Friday said he’s “100%” willing to testify under oath about what was said in his meetings with former FBI Director James Comey.
  • Trump made the assertion during a joint press conference with the Romanian president, Klaus Iohannis, in the White House Rose Garden.
  • He also said he never told Comey that he “hoped” Comey could let the investigation into Michael Flynn go.
  • “I didn’t say that,” Trump said, which amounts to accusing Comey of perjury — or willfully lying after taking an oath to tell the truth.
  • Trump went on to add that, “there’d be nothing wrong if I did say it,” referring to an ask to let the Flynn investigation go.
  • Reporters also asked Trump about whether he taped his conversations with Comey, as he suggested in a tweet last month.
  • But Trump refused to answer. “I’ll tell you about it over a very short period of time,” Trump said, referring to the tapes. Trump added that, “You’re going to be very disappointed” with his answer — not saying either way whether the tapes existed or not. Read more (6/9/17)

House Intelligence Committee sets deadline for Trump to produce taped Comey conversations

  • Leaders of the House Intelligence Committee’s Russia investigation set a deadline for Trump to produce any taped communications between Trump and former FBI Director James Comey, saying if the tapes exist, Trump must submit them to the committee by June 23.
  • The deadline comes as Trump and top aides have continually declined to comment on whether tapes of those conversations — which Trump suggested he had — are real. Read more (6/9/17)

THE TUDORS SENTENCE STARTERS.

’ You think you know a story, but you only know how it ends. ’
’ To get to the heart of the story, you have to go back to the beginning. ’
’ I cannot disguise my distress and unhappiness. ’
’ Well, you’re going to have to. ’
’ What about his legs? Are his calves strong like mine? ’
’ Some people might think so. He certainly thinks so himself. ’
’ Your Majesty… he’s French! ’
’ As a humanist I have an abhorrence of war. ’
’ It’s an activity fit only for beasts yet practiced by no kind of beasts so constantly as by man. ’
’ As a humanist I share your opinion. As a King, I’m forced to disagree. ’
’ You should know, you taught me. ’
’ Do you really think we should go to war? ’
’ I think we should try to do as the King wants us to do. ’
’ What if the King doesn’t know what’s in his best interests? ’
’ Because he endowed Universities? ’
’ That victory made him famous. It made him immortal! ’
’ There’s something deep and dangerous in you. ’
’ Those eyes of yours are like dark hooks for the soul. ’
’ You must be prepared to give him the thing you most care for. ’
’ The thing I care for most is my integrity. ’
’ Do you see that young woman over there? Dressed in purple and gold? ’
’ After all, I am merely Your Majesty’s humble servant! ’
’ That would make me very happy. ’
’ Well, do you like it? ’
’ Should I like something that accuses me of being cruel? ’
’ Am I? You have no claim on me. ’
’ I have the same claim as every other lover. ’
’ You are a poet as I am a woman. ’
’ Poets and women are always free with their hearts, are they not? ’
’ You give us no choice but to attack and breach your defenses! ’
’ No knight shall ever breach mine. ’
’ What we lack in men, we can more than make up for in ships. ’
’ We are in an island race, Cardinal. ’
’ We have the best and bravest sailors in the world. ’
’ Your highness must be looking forward with great anticipation to your wedding? ’
’ I hear the king was a great horseman… in his time. ’
’ Don’t tease me. I don’t like it. ’
’ Will you like it when an old man tries to make love to you? ’
’ Your grace goes too far. Already. ’
’ Now you are blasphemous! ’
’ Gospel says the truth will make you free. ’
’ Your Grace, we shall drop our truth into the scales… and the scales will fall. ’
’ I write poems, I don’t know how to be “a poet”. ’
’ My Lord, I don’t know what to say. ’
’ Of course I loved her, but from a distance. ’
’ I ask myself why that should be so. ’
’ Your Majesty, I’m certain he will rule in your favour. ’
’ How dare you look at me! I am your Lord and Master, not your brother! ’
’ You are both banished from court. ’
’ You will remove yourself from my sight. Do you understand? ’
’ I have yet to decide whether to make your bedmate a head shorter. ’
’ I don’t think the English people would ever forgive him! ’
’ I promise, I’ll take you as my only mistress. ’
’ I won’t have a thought or an affection for anyone else. ’
’ Look, I don’t mean he is banished forever. ’
’ I don’t mean he is banished forever. Just as long as he breathes. ’
’ You’re going away, why? ’
’ Must you go? ’
’ We little people must put our hands into the fire if invited to. ’
’ Forgive me, I spoke of things I should not. ’
’ For me, that is the true definition of love. ’
’ I have an audience with His Majesty? ’
’ Well, the King is plainly in love with you. ’
’ What would a silly girl like you have to say to a king? ’
’ How do you like your charge, sweetheart? ’
’ It is your duty to use his love to our advantage. ’
’ Diplomacy is nearly always settled by such proximity. ’
’ I do not sleep with her. Not whilst you and I are still married. ’
’ Ah! Your Excellence, allow me to introduce… ’
’ Someone told me taking infusions was the worst thing. ’
’ I didn’t see all of his game. Now I do. I despise him. ’
’ I do believe you love as well and deeply… as any man. ’
’ Your love is most generous where it is most hurtful. ’
’ Your Majesty, I beg that you yield to the King’s will. ’
’ You speak to me of chastity. ’
’ Have you not a mistress and two children, Your Eminence? ’
’ I could be seen to be acting against her conjugal rights. ’
’ You think it’s nothing, to go back to bed with your wife? ’
’ What do you think is going to happen? ’
’ Let me make certain things plain to you. ’
’ It would mean the total ruin of the kingdom. ’
’ I hear you’ve been unwell? Is it true? ’
’ Majesty, when was I ever unwell enough not to serve you? ’
’ Have you no kind things to say? ’
’ You treat me so unkindly and in public neglect me. ’
’ The weight of academic opinion is against us. ’
’ I don’t think anything, but I imagine everything. ’
’ Do you… do you have a message from the King? ’
’ You hate him like a scorpion. And why? ’
’ Madam, you should never presume… ’
’ You should not abuse the Queen’s honor with such language! ’
’ Your Majesty must forgive me… ’
’ I would rather see her hanged than acknowledge her as my mistress! ’
’ Aren’t you supposed to be running the country? ’
’ They’re all liars, hypocrites and middle-aged men. ’
’ Would you prefer them to be women? ’
’ Have I made you unhappy? ’
’ I would only be unhappy if you ever stopped loving me. ’
’ Madame, I pray you, don’t give way. ’
’ No excellency, I shall never give way. ’
’ I notice you allow yourself none of the trappings of your great office. ’
’ Now, my love, let me conceive… and we will have a son. ’
’ Can you not plead some indisposition? ’
’ And then, I should be genuinely indisposed! ’
’ It’s a pretty head in any case, and I don’t want to lose it either. ’
’ Perhaps, one day this little girl will preside over empires. ’
’ I’m not heartless, whatever some people think- quite the contrary. ’
’ I could still do it. I could find a way to poison her. ’
’ But, why should anyone ever know? ’
’ No I wouldn’t. I’d die amartyr's death. ’
’ You understand? You don’t act alone. ’
’ You’ve never even seen a man being tortured, have you? ’
’ I’m sure we both know the object that has brought us together. ’
’ Will you take the Oath? ’
new beginnings.

2,402 words | fluff; warnings: none.
meeting at a coffee shop au + shin hoseok

a/n: ramen shop owner!wonho is a concept that most definitely needed to be written. and who knows? perhaps i might even take requests for this~

(i really have been considering taking requests after i’m done with the ones in my inbox. just like drabbles / companion pieces to things i’ve written like heaven is a place on earth, rule breakers, cave me in, etc.)

Originally posted by wonhontology

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I think it’s quite reasonable to assume that, upon taking the Oath, Fëanor wasn’t predicting that he and his followers would have to fight anyone for the Silmarils except Morgoth. 

It’s true that he names Eldar, Men, and Maiar in the Oath, but I suspect that’s largely for emphatic embellishment. Given the circumstances, it seems unlikely to me that he would seriously assume that anyone else would take a Silmaril - he certainly couldn’t have known that Beren and Lúthien would take on their quest. His anger at losing the Silmarils is entirely wrapped up in his intense grief at his father’s death and resulting hatred of Morgoth, and the wording of his Oath is fueled by this revenge fantasy. 

Fëanor is someone who’s very impulsive and reckless when it comes to his emotional outbursts, and he’s not going to take the time to think about the intricate verbal bindings of an oath or the potential collateral damage that he and his sons could be roped into causing. (And he’s proud. I doubt it occurs to him at this moment, when he’s running on pain and anger and adrenaline, that he could be overwhelmed and subdued by the Oath.) 

I also see him as single-minded in his goals and motivations. I think he’s momentarily forgotten about the Sindar and dwarves who are currently living in Middle-Earth, and the implications that Morgoth’s return to power would have for them. His understanding of the situation stems solely from his own grief, and he has trouble processing the threat that Morgoth poses except through the wrong that has been done to him and his family, and his perception of the epic rivalry that he sees between Morgoth and himself. It’s certainly a character weakness, but it doesn’t imply maliciousness or the desire to harm innocents in the taking of the Oath.

For me, Fëanor’s story is tragic /because/ he’s unaware, when he takes the Oath, of the implications of what he’s doing. He’s hurting, terribly, and his entire world is coming apart, but he’s absolutely bent and determined to do whatever he can to take back everything of his that’s salvageable. He’s been hurt by Morgoth, but he feels he can fight back, he can avenge himself and his father, and he can rebuild on his own terms. He doesn’t realize how long and grueling and brutal the war effort will be. He doesn’t know how futile the quest for the Silmaril will become, how the deeds that his sons and followers do in his name will render the things that the Silmarils represented meaningless. He dies at the height of his glory and the peak of his despair, without getting to fulfill his goal of fighting Morgoth. His sons are the ones who have to carry his legacy and watch it turn bitter, who are forced to learn the costs of his rashness. His Oath brings about death and destruction, but I think it’s important that it starts off as heroic. 

And now we take an oath.
Not to a glowing cloud, but to each other.
We are present, right now. All of us.
Present in this promise we make.
To speak up, when words are needed.
To be silent, and listen, when others should be heard.
To use our acts for good.
Behold the power of our love.
Love of every kind.
And now we do the gesture that means that life is not worth living unless you use your words and actions to make life better for others- I think you know it, 1, 2, 3- go!
ALL HAIL!
ALL HAIL LOVE AND ACTION!
NOT WORSHIP AND WORDS!
ALL HAIL ALL OF US!
AMEN, OR WHATEVER
—  the Welcome To Night Vale Liveshow “All Hail” written by Joseph Fink and Jeffery Cranor
Chemical Bubbles - Joker's Daughter

Joker!dad x daughter!reader

Harley!mom x daughter!reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1508

Summary: Js daughter wants to be like him more than she already is and wants to fall in the chemicals, she gets nervous and wants to think alone for abit

Requested: Okay joker takes his daughter to Ace chemicals so she can be transformed like him and Harley but she gets svared at the last second he lets her take her time.  After he leaves she finally jumps in and goes home chaned ( @secretlyshamelesspersona )

Authors Note: Jared Leto as Joker, Margot Robbie as Harley. i do not own anygif which you can see as it says “originaly posted by“ so yeah 

and please send in requests !!! ( of any kind and any show )

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Reasons Why You Should Like Twelve in Series 10

- He agreed to be Bill’s personal tutor for no personal gain
- He hasn’t brought up Bill’s sexuality or race once
- He went and took photos of Bill’s birth mum just because she said she had none
- He broke his oath to take Bill to other times
- He tried to keep her out of trouble
- He said that history is full of whitewashing (including Jesus)
- He gave stolen pies to street urchins
- He punched a racist man in the face for calling Bill a ‘creature’
- He forged a document making an urchin the heir to a fortune and house, just because Bill asked him to (@liliaeth)

More to be added…

CASE 571  (Domestic Violence)

Requested: Hi! Can you do an imagine where you had problems with your ex; maybe something along the lines of domestic violence or rape (although you may want to change it as these are very touchy subjects to talk about) and your ex gets charged with it, and you have to give a statement or be at the hearing and Shawn helps you get through it. Thanks! Your imagines and bulletpoints are amazing by the way!!❤️

A/n: You’re sweet, thank you! And I just want to say I’ve been insanely excited for this request, and I don’t know how but this was such a crazy coincidence because I literally received this request while I was serving as a jury member for a domestic violence case, and I was standing outside the courtroom when I read this request for the first time so I actually pulled a lot from my experience while writing this, and also protective/caring Shawn is my fave. I hope you enjoy! 

~~~

It’s been nearly a year, but that doesn’t make anything hurt any less. And every time you have to talk about the events, it’s as terrible as reliving it every single time. You’d think that after so long, you’d be over it, but that’s not the case. You’d think that after talking about it so many times, you’d at least be desensitized to it, but that’s not the case either.   

Shawn’s large hand comfortingly squeezing yours jerks you back to reality, back to the small room with tan walls that somehow feel like they’re closing in on you. His thumb lightly runs across the back of your hand, as you turn to look at him. “It’s almost time,” He says in a whisper, even though you’re the only two in this specific waiting room. It’s almost like he’s afraid to speak aloud, and you don’t blame him. You lean a little closer to him, resting your head against his muscular shoulder. He lightly kisses you on the top of your head. “I’ll be there the whole time,” He reassures you. “I’ll be right there, just look for me.” And his voice is strong and steady, but yet you can still hear the nervousness in it.

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If Hogwarts were a school with "Zero Tolerance" bullying policy
  • Severus: Hey, these boys have been rather publically hexing me, and humiliating me. One of them sent me to a place where he knew a werewolf would be. And then they sexually assaulted me and blackmailed my best friend for a date.
  • Sirius: The Werewolf thing was a joke. You shouldn't have been mad at us and trying to get us in trouble.
  • Severus: You can't honestly believe the werewolf thing was a joke, can you?
  • James: Calm down, Snivellus. We were only playing around. I'm sure plenty of girls enjoyed the view.
  • Albus: I think it's very clear here, that you are note being bullied Sni-Severus. You are over-reacting.
  • Severus: Are you kidding me? At least remove the werewolf from the school. I am traumatized by that event-I nearly died.
  • Albus: I'm sorry, but we can't forgo his education just because you are uncomfortable. You need to be more tolerant. Now, you'll have to take an oath to not reveal his secret.

anonymous asked:

One question why is their a large lack of large scale big knight orders like the knights templar knights hospitaler and Teutonic Knights even warhammer has the down with the reiksguard knights of the white wolf and knights of Moore so for example I think their would be say a knights of the golden lion and you should make up orders for all the kingdoms

Ok, well you’ve pushed me into it…

  • The Vale: The Brotherhood of Winged Knights, natch. Seven knights to honor the Seven. Chosen by a tourney of no less than 77 applicants to guard the King of the Mountain and Vale for seven years. To honor the memory of Artys Arryn’s victory, the Brotherhood have a custom of insisting that any Arryn who takes the field of battle must don an eighth set of the armor and livery of the Brotherhood, to ensure that his enemies cannot spy him out. And hey, let’s go nuts and say that the Winged Knights are especially feared for their horse-frightening harnesses. 
  • The Riverlands: The Order of the Trident. One of the more recent chivalric orders in Westeros, the Order of the Trident was founded by House Teague in order to bolster their hold on their newly-won kingdom. By their original charter, the knights of the Trident were charged with maintaining the peace on the “roads and rivers of our kingdom,” which led to the construction of many chapter houses at fords and other intersections where travelers could sleep protected - in more recent centuries following the fall of House Teague, many of these chapter houses were abandoned and later converted into inns. This charter also requires each member to maintain a shallow-drafted warship of no less than 10 oars a side, which may explain their ceremonial weapons. Notably, rather than implicitly stating it, only members of the Faith of the Seven are allowed to join, which is why no Blackwood has ever participated and why every single generation of Brackens have held membership (with no less than a dozen grand-masters among them). According to rumor, the Order may have been instrumental behind-the-scenes in many of the rebellions against those rulers who succeeded the Teagues to the crown of the Riverlands - which is probably false…
  • The Westerlands: The Grand and Most Puissant Order of the Golden Mane. Unlike most orders of chivalry in Westeros, the Order of the Golden Mane was primarily not a martial order - rather, the Order was established during the reign of King Norwin Lannister as a means of raising revenue, with membership dues being originally listed at 100 grains of pure gold annually. In exchange for their dues, members were granted knighthoods if they did not already have them, but also a number of privileges including the right to be tried only by the Order, the right to arbitration by the Order in all disputes between fellow members, and even the right to advise the king on “weighty matters.” During the rule of Tytos Lannister, these privileges were badly abused by dozens of social climbers, leading to the diminishment of the order’s prestige and an increase in public disorder, as many used the order’s immunity from normal criminal procedure as a shield against Casterly Rock itself. Shortly before the Reynes of Castamere, Tywin Lannister raised the membership fee to five times the member’s body-weight in gold, and then took advantage of a number of sudden vacancies to have the order declared extinct due to lack of quorum. 
  • The Reach: since the Order of the Green Hand is taken, let’s talk about the Lady Companions of the Blessed Maris. Given the Reach’s love affair with tourneys, pageants, dances, and other social occasions, someone has to do the organizing of the social calendar, otherwise the whole thing goes haywire and vendettas set up. Guided by an inner circle of noblewomen who can trace their descent to Maris the Maid, Rowan Goldenhair, or Ellyn Ever-Sweet (all women of acceptable moral purity, although of course the Gardener Queen was always given a position out of respect for Highgarden), the Lady Companions make sure that each seat of note is appropriately honored with fetes, that there are always enough tourneys to keep the knights occupied while ensuring decent attendance at each, and that enough mixed-gender events are held to ensure that the right young ladies meet the right young men. While the Green Hand may have perished on the field of battle, the work of the Lady Companions continue to this day, although there was much grumbling when a certain Tyrell claimed the Gardener Seat for her house on the grounds that Aegon had deeded Highgarden to them.
  • The Stormlands: The Ancient and Most Honorable Guild of Castlewrights. While the origins of the Guild are lost to legend and myth (some tales claim that the founders of the guild were the assistants of the mysterious Brandon who built the final castle of Storm’s End), the Stormlands takes the construction of castles more seriously than any other realm. To that end, the Durrandon kings gave (in addition to the honor of knighthood) this order the “responsibility for inspecting and maintaining the castles of my kingdom,” along with some fairly wide-ranging powers to commandeer labor and materials to make repairs when necessary for the defense of the realm. Over the centuries, the Guild turned into an order of knights who were experts both in the construction of castles and siegecraft. Many a seemingly desperate siege was won or lost due to the presence of a single Guildman using their authority to take over direction of assault or defense of the castle, especially in the Marches. Famously, the Guildmen take an oath never to allow themselves to be captured alive, lest they be tortured into revealing their occult wisdom. 
  • Dorne: The Knights of the Wells. If there is anything that unites the often fractious peoples of Dorne, it is their common love of horse-riding. Thus, to keep their people happy and distracted, the Martells have organized both hippodrome races and cross-country races for the better part of a thousand years. Recruited from among the ranks of the winners, the Knights of the Wells were trained in the arts of cartography by maesters from Sunspear, given the best sand steeds that the Martells can buy and, formally, charged with little more than accurately mapping the oft-foreboding terrain of Dorne. Informally, the Knights of the Wells were the Martells’ best spies and scouts, who use their superior knowledge of the land to guide the armies of Dorne and track the armies of her enemies, and many wars have been won (or lost) because of the bravery and cunning of these swordless knights. Membership in the Wells is a dangerous proposition, however - both in Aegon’s War and Daeron’s, the order saw casualties of more than nine in ten of their members, with the Targaryens frequently posting lavish bounties for their deaths. Indeed, it was a significant provision of Daeron II’s treaty that the Martells were forbidden from re-establishing the Knights of the Wells, although some claim the order continues in secret…

anonymous asked:

so... any more like that king james post?

Son, it’s time you learnt about… King Edward II of England.

Boring disclaimer: there is no explicit evidence of the true nature of Edward’s relationship with Piers Gaveston or Hugh Despenser. There are no love letters or saucy satirical poetry, a la King James I. There are no sex tapes. All we have is conjecture and circumstantial evidence (and some sources, but not many). It should also be noted that we can’t say with any certainty that Edward II was what we (although not him, as the terms and frameworks are modern) would term ‘homosexual’, ‘bisexual’ or ‘heterosexual’. Relationships between men were often incredibly close, bordering on romantic, with no clear definition between platonic and romantic. It was only really unusual when there was a sexual component involved, and the lack of evidence of this component means that it would be impossible to ascribe a definitive homosexual identity to the two men. However, the lack of evidence does not necessarily mean a lack of veracity, and it’s not impossible that the two were sexually involved. It’s just important to remember that modern labels don’t always fit past figures, because history and all.

Our merry historical jaunt begins with the saucy tale of

Piers Gaveston: in which the dangers of ignoring your barons and giving all your land, treasure and undivided attention to one man becomes apparent

  • So, this begins with King Edward I, who was the king of England from 1272-1307. He was also nicknamed ‘Longshanks’ because of his long legs, which is completely irrelevant, but interesting. In 1300, a saucy 16 year old (or thereabouts) named Piers Gaveston joined the household of Edward I, at the behest of Edward I, who thought he was a pretty decent chap and definitely not about to lead his son astray or anything like that. Fairly soon after that, Edward I became the human embodiment of that ‘I have made a terrible mistake’ gif that everyone used to post back in 2013, because Prince Edward and Gaveston became absolutely inseparable. Prince Edward kept demanding more and more titles for Gaveston and his family, giving him fancy gifts of treasure and land and probably those really expensive watches, and at one point the king became concerned that Gaveston might actually be a bit of a problem when it came to his son producing heirs, and Gaveston was banished from court and exiled, albeit with an allowance. 
  • Edward I died in 1307. His dying wish was that Gaveston should never be allowed back into the country, to which Prince Edward said ‘yes, dad, I will absolutely adhere to your last wish, because I am your respectful son and heir. Oh, you’re dead? I’m Edward II now? Cool! Time to fetch Gaveston and give him loads of land! What a guy.’
  • Edward II was crowned in 1308, and subsequently married Isabella of France, who was two things: an absolute badass, and also a 12 year old girl. That was fine in those days, so everyone just went along with it and assumed that Edward and Isabella would be happy together forever. They were not entirely correct.
  • Within a month of Edward I’s death, Edward II had made Gaveston the Earl of Cornwall, and was a bit naughty about it. By some accounts, Gaveston hadn’t known that this was his plan, and Edward claimed that he had asked his barons for advice, but that was a load of old wank, because the barons hated Gaveston and would probably rather construct a wall made of actual corn and slap a title on that. In 1308, in a pattern which should not have surprised anyone at this point, Edward’s courtiers began to worry about the extent of Gaveston’s influence on the king, with some describing him as being ‘like a second king’. By some accounts, the two were never apart, even sharing a bed on some occasions, and many noblemen began to worry that Gaveston was influencing royal policy, which, now that I think about it, might have been a euphemism. They forced Edward to exile Gaveston again in 1308 upon threat of excommunication, which he did, but Gaveston was allowed to serve in Ireland in a military capacity, as Lieutenant of Ireland (which Gaveston was weirdly great at. Legitimately.) Edward also gave him and his wife a lot of money. Like, a lot. So that’s nice.
  • In 1309, Edward began attempting to compromise with the barons who had ordered Gaveston’s exile. He promised them more land and power, and to stop his really annoying habit of refusing to meet any of them unless Gaveston was also in the room, if they would overturn the exile. They refused, probably accurately assuming that things would be just as bad as before. In response, Edward began to royally suck up to the powers that be, giving land and titles to members of the Pope’s family until he received a papal annulment of the threat of Gaveston’s exile and agreed to sign a statute relieving some of the earls’ problems, and Gaveston returned.
  • Things improved a lot after that, by which I mean that Gaveston began to give all the earls horrible nicknames and Edward II gave him his own personal armed guard, as well as access to the treasury. Fed up beyond belief at this point, the barons drew up a series of reforms known as the Ordinances of 1311, and forced the king to sign them, saying that civil war would ensue if he didn’t. As well as limitations on Edward’s power as king, these reforms included articles about punishment owed to Gaveston for his offences. By some accounts, Edward promised to agree to all articles diminishing his own power if the barons would allow Gaveston to remain as Earl of Cornwall, to which the barons laughed heartily and exiled Gaveston for a third time, with the promise of death if he were to return. 
  • In 1312, the King demanded that Gaveston return ‘by the king’s order’, ostensibly to visit his pregnant wife but probably just to piss the barons off. Some people suggest that Edward got so desperate at this point that he even offered to recognise Robert the Bruce, the man who had spent his entire life at war with England, as the king of Scotland if he would acknowledge Gaveston as having a right to live in England, but that might be nothing more than a story. Whatever happened, the barons were indeed pissed off, and executed Gaveston.
  • Their love affair lives on in Christopher Marlowe’s play of 1592, Edward II, which deals fairly explicitly with their romantic relationship (although not that explicitly, you can take your grandma to see it). 

Luckily, after that, Edward II learned his lesson about taking royal favourites and using them to piss off his barons by giving them lavish gifts and making them Earls of random places, and he absolutely definitely never took another male favourite ever again, which leads right onto 

Hugh Despenser: in which the whole thing happens all over again, only with less exile and more outright bloody civil war, and also waxworks

  • In 1318, a man named Hugh Despenser was made royal chamberlain, and, despite having enjoyed a fairly lukewarm acquaintance before this point, quickly became a favourite of Edward II. By 1320, he was running around demanding titles and money all over the damn place, and Edward was acquiescing all over the same damn place. At this point, most barons were probably wishing that they’d never executed Gaveston, because compared to Despenser, he was a saint. If Gaveston had been a pain in the arse, then Despenser was a pain in every single arse this side of the equator. He was, by all accounts, pretty obnoxious. Unlike Gaveston, who had mostly been interested in shiny things and status, Despenser was interested in power and politics, and used his status to manoeuvre his way up the ranks of English politics like a little worm on a very small ladder. Oh, and Despenser’s wife was also Edward II’s niece. Just so you know.
  • By 1321, everyone hated Despenser except for Edward. Edward’s wife, Isabella, was one of his most vehement detractors. The reason for her hatred of him, seeing as she’d always tolerated Gaveston, isn’t really known - lots of theories have been purported, primarily focusing on Despenser’s reputation of assaulting noblewomen, and possibly Isabella herself. I did tell you that he was awful. Subsequently, some barons rebelled, starting what are now known as the Despenser Wars. There was even an event where some barons contracted a local magician, John of Nottingham, to kill Edward and Despenser by making wax figures of them and destroying them. Bizarrely, it didn’t work. The barons lost the war in 1322, and Edward and Hugh reigned supreme, and by ‘supreme’, I mean ‘with an iron fist’, and by ‘with an iron fist’, I mean ‘like Joffrey Lannister’. 
  • Over the next 4 years, Edward began to severely punish the barons who had been involved in the Despenser Wars. He would execute the barons, then confiscate their widows’ land and give it to someone whose name, you’ll be unsurprised to hear, was Hugh Despenser. Many of these widows were Isabella’s friends, and, despite having been broadly supportive of Edward up to this point, she began to plot against him. She refused to take an oath of loyalty to the Despensers, and Edward retaliated by taking her land, her assets, and even her children, placing them in the custody of… look, do I even need to tell you which family he gave his own children to? It was the Despensers. What a surprise.
  • Remember how I said that Isabella was a badass? This is why. In 1326, she went to France to negotiate with the French king on Edward’s behalf. Whilst there, she made the acquaintance of Roger Mortimer, a marcher lord who didn’t much care for her husband, having been imprisoned by him in the Tower of London for his part in the Despenser Wars. Romance ensued, and so did plotting. Lots of both.
  • With an army of about 1,500 soldiers, Isabella then invaded England, by some accounts whilst dressed as a goddamn widow, and took back her children and her land. This led to two weeks chasing Edward and Hugh Despenser around South Wales, which honestly needs to be a short video with just Edward and Despenser hiding in various castles and Isabella catching up with them and saying ‘look, I can see you both, you’re hiding under the bed,’ and Edward and Despenser shrieking ‘no, you can’t see us! We’re not here!’ until finally Isabella took back her husband. Only by ‘took back’ her husband, I mostly mean ‘imprisoned’. She had Despenser executed in a rather grisly fashion, including but not limited to castration (a joke at his being a ‘sodomite’, as they named him) and having his body chopped up. Grisly.
  • Edward’s fate is unknown, even to this day. A popular urban myth is that he was executed by having a red hot poker shoved up his royal bottom, supposedly so as not to leave any trace of the murder, but this is nowadays widely accepted as being medieval propaganda designed to poke fun at his possible sexual relationships with Gaveston and Despenser.

All of which is really a very long-winded way of saying that Edward II was a terrible king and should definitely have spent more time ruling the country and less time underestimating his wife, but he was also a very interesting figure in terms of being pretty openly Not Heterosexual, and how he’s been vilified, even to this day, for his sexuality. Lots of people still know him as the guy who prioritised his lovers over his country, and that makes sense because he was about as good a king as a wet ham sandwich by all accounts, but they often think of his sexual preferences as being intrinsic to that, as though he would have been inherently better as a king and human being if his lovers had been female instead. Granted, they would have had less recourse to gain political power than his male lovers did because women couldn’t hold the same levels of status or land, but that’s the fault of the political system, not Edward’s sexuality. It would be good if the whole ‘bad gay’ narrative could be superseded by a ‘bad king’ one, but y’know. Let’s not live in hope.

Sources (collated from Warner, Kathryn, Edward II: The Unconventional King): 

  • Vita Edwardi Secundi 
  • Chronicles of Meaux Abbey
  • Close Rolls (of the reign of Edward II)
  • My English Professor: What's your favorite book?
  • Me: The Silmarillion
  • English Professor: That's not a book, that's just a collection of Tolkien's thoughts and ideas
  • Me: Then why is it in book form
  • Me: You want to fucking fight