OVER-1000

iPhone

a response to @leviathan-supersystem in a new thread as that last one was getting hella unwieldy I reckon.

There were some errors in my last post! I was unaware of some facts. However, reality is actually even more in my favour than I realised.

I said you could purchase a headphone adapter for $9, but I have since been informed that the iPhone 7 comes with one for free. So if you buy the phone you get a new pair of headphones with a lightning connector, and you get an adapter so that you can use your old headphones too. Win-win!

Yes, if you lose the headphones or the adapter you must purchase new ones. This is how physical objects work in the universe in which we live. I too resent Apple for not having cloning facilities that can replicate matter at zero cost and usher in fully automatic luxury communism, that would indeed be swell.

But you worry that $9 to replace it is “not particularly cheap”! The phone itself costs over $1000 you fucking walnut, so if you have a habit of losing small electronic items you might want to reconsider purchasing one in the first place. 

When I said that anyone can make Bluetooth headphones I didn’t mean that you, @leviathan-supersystem, are capable of doing this. But Bluetooth is an open standard and you can buy compatible headphones from wherever you like. Personally not a fan of the wireless, but standards are good.

(The lightning connector being proprietary is bad, and is a genuine knock against Apple, one that I have pointed out in numerous posts, and something actually worth complaining about if you are someone who dislikes capitalism).

But let’s zoom out a little. By myopically focusing on a few trivial inconveniences you are missing the opportunity cost of not making the change, and the future potential for innovation that it unlocks. This attitude will not age well, and the fuss over the headphone jack will seem laughable in the future.

More generally, why so much outrage? No one is obliged to purchase an iPhone and suffer the terrible consequences of having to use wireless headphones or need an adapter for the aux cord. This is an entirely voluntary choice, and as has been pointed out Apple has around 15% market share.

If anything this could be seen as an indirect tax on the wealthy, charging them more for overpriced phones and giving them reduced functionality, while the poor enjoy the benefits of cheap convenient Android devices. How could a leftist possibly oppose soaking the rich?

From a design point of view it is entirely consistent with Apple’s ethos going back to the very founding of the company, so it should not be surprising at all, just Apple being Apple as they have every right to be. One button mice, amirite.

There are ways of reacting to this product announcement that make sense:

“I personally require a 3.5mm headphone jack on my phone, so I will not be purchasing an iPhone 7 for this reason.”

“I would prefer to have a headphone jack but the benefits of owning an iPhone outweigh the disadvantage, so I will simply register my disappointment.”

“Haha by removing the headphone jack Apple has made a foolish decision and will lose ground to their competitors.”

Any of these is a perfectly reasonable reaction! But the sense of aggrieved outrage on behalf of imagined iPhone owners compelled by the Man to upgrade to an expensive new model and then suffering the travails of needing to use an adapter to plug in old audio equipment is just baffling.

Has anyone told you what they’ve done to the home button, btw? You’re going to hate it.

AT MY BROTHER’S SCHOOL BAND SHOWCASE THERE WAS A CONTEST AND THE WINNER GOT TO CONDUCT THE BAND WITH THE SONG OF THEIR CHOICE AND THE GUY WHO WON CHOSE THE STAR TREK THEME SONG AND BEFORE HE STARTED CONDUCTING HE TURNED TO THE AUDIENCE AND DRAMATICALLY RIPPED OFF HIS SHIRT AND HE WAS WEARING A FUCKING STARFLEET UNIFORM UNDERNEATH IM DYING

An open letter to the Tumblr Staff from the blogger you just screwed over

Okay, staff, I am super freaking pissed about the update and here’s why. 

I cannot read your new format. 

I’m not trying to be whiny or nitpicky or over-dramatic. I can appreciate that you were attempting to make things look more organised/less confusing/whatever. I also expect the new format is a great improvement for people who have screen readers. That’s great. That’s fine. 

I just cannot freaking read this. I have dyslexia, and my dyslexia is set off by pictures, bold, italics, anything that is more “interesting” to my brain than plain, unadorned text.

Like this monstrosity:

Look at it. Just look at it. The pictures get in between the lines of text, there’s distracting colors and pictures everywhere. The names are bolded when they’re really not the most important thing. Looking at this, I see everything except what I’m supposed to see, that cheesy series of puns. (No pun intended.)

You literally couldn’t have made a worse format for me if you’d tried.

The thing is, your format was what made me really like Tumblr in the first place. It was super clear who was writing something new, because look, there was a freaking line pointing right to it. Unless someone started writing in all caps or bold or whatever, all the text in a post had the same amount of emphasis. Finally, SOMETHING ON THE INTERNET I COULD READ.

And now, now I can’t read any of it at all. 

So yeah, I’m pissed. 

Like, I know that you’re not going to change it back, because you never seem to listen when anyone on your site complains about anything. I’m not sure why I bothered writing this to you guys, given your track record. 

But now’s your chance to prove me wrong. Seriously, the least you could do is give us an option here. You’ve still got the old code. Just stick a button somewhere to revert to the old format so I can enjoy my text posts in peace. 

Sincerely, 

Dyslexic Blogger