OTP:-you-are-my-life-now

  • GODRIC GRYFFINDOR:We will create a school to teach all the brave young wizards and witches.
  • SALAZAR SLYTHERIN:And we must also teach those students who are cunning and sly.
  • ROWENA RAVENCLAW:And we shall open our doors to those with a curious mind and appetite for creativity.
  • HELGA HUFFLEPUFF:My tongue is blue because I was eating lollipops for dinner! Wanna see? I can almost do a cartwheel! Are you watching?!
  • GODRIC:That's great, Helga. You don't need to shout. But would you like to help us form a wizarding school?
  • HELGA:I like to hug. I'm really good at it. Hugs are like presents that always fit. Can I be the school's hug captain? I can teach hugging! I can also teach Laundry and How To Draw Bubble Letters.
  • GODRIC:No. Hugging is not something we are concerned with.
  • HELGA:Oh really? How long should a typical hug last, Mr. Know-It-All?
  • GODRIC:Um…ten sec—
  • HELGA:Wrong! A good hug lasts a lifetime because it lives in your heart for infinity years!!!
  • SALAZAR:Maybe we only need three people to start a school.
  • HELGA:Badgers are my favorite! I'm going to make lemon squares! Can we call the school Smile Town? If I close my eyes, am I invisible? Can I have turtle? I'm good at making bubble letters. Really good. The trick is to pretend the letters are clouds and to use purple.
  • SALAZAR:By the way, if 68% of the students in my house turn out evil, it's totally not my fault. Cool? Cool.
Harry Potter: Deleted Scene
  • McGONAGALL:Do you really think it's OK to leave the child alone in the middle of the night?
  • DUMBLEDORE:Yep.
  • McGONAGALL:But he could get sick. He might even suffer from That-Which-Cannot-Be-Named.
  • DUMBLEDORE:You mean he will be a teen mom?
  • McGONAGALL:No. Teen pregnancy is "That-Which-Cannot-Be-Discussed." I'm worried he will have That-Which-Cannot-Be-Named!
  • DUMBLEDORE:You're worried that Harry will have an unsightly mole on his nose?
  • McGONAGALL:No! Moles are That-Which-We-Try-To-Avoid-Looking-At.
  • DUMBLEDORE:Are you worried that Harry will one day marry a girl who's half his age?
  • McGONAGALL:No. You're thinking of That-Which-Everyone-Wants-To-Talk-About-But-No-One-Actually-Does.
  • DUMBELDORE:Oh. You mean diarrhea?
  • McGONAGALL:[swoons] Don’t say that evil, wretched word!
  • DUMBLEDORE:[sigh] I should have been an Auror.
  • HARGID:Hey, boss, I got you the second season of Will and Grace on DVD.
  • DUMBLEDORE:Huh?
  • HAGRID:I thought you'd like it. Also, I burned you a copy of Lady Gaga's The Fame Monster.
  • DUMBLEDORE:Oh. Um…thanks. But honestly, you're just perpetuating a stereoty—
  • HAGRID:I want you to know…it gets better. It gets better.
  • DUMBELDORE:[sigh] Should have been an Auror.
  • HAGRID:I'm making your a rainbow quilt in the shape of Adam Lambert because I'm supportive and helpful.