OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I MADE

Theatre Kid AUs

-that stage kiss WAS NOT SCRIPTED WTF
- I’m the stage manager and you’re the cocky lead who won’t SHUT UP backstage PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU
-for closing night bets you slipped me tongue during our stage kiss what the fuck do I do
-we’re not playing the romantic leads but everyone ships our characters and they keep making us take pictures together in costume (I kind of love it)
-we’re in the chorus together and you never know what the notes are so you have to stand impossibly close to me to listen and it just makes me mess up and I SWEAR TO GOD ARE YOU DOING THAT ON PURPOSE
-everyone in the show has to wear makeup I swear I will wrestle you into this chair if I have to
-oh my god you’re doing my makeup and you’re so close and I can’t breathe
-I may have learned your romantic lead’s part and then attempted to take them out the night of the show
-we made out in the light booth
-this is the first time I’ve seen you in costume and holy fuck how do you look so good in that

Kent is colourblind.  So he has no real concept of why everyone is so freaked out by what his anime-trash eyes do.

Alexei gets this idea to photo Kent every time his eyes change colour, then on his birthday he makes a collage and surprises Kent with those colourblind glasses.

They spend a day outside checking everything out (Kent may or may not cry a few times, and spend about two hours in a park, then another hour going through his gallery of Kit pictures).

After Kent’s Bday dinner Alexei takes him by the hand.  “I’m have one more surprise for you.”

Then he pulls out the photo album he made, complete with portraits of Kent he’d taken over half the year and shows him what everyone is on about.  “Is not so strange, just different.”

Kent goes through it all, then just looks up slowly at Tater and whispers, “Oh my god.  What the fuck.”

Things Draco has definitely said at some point
  • “Harry, if you don’t stop molesting me with your eyes I’m going to throw you out of a second story window”
  • “If one more person mentions my hair I swear to god I’m going to commit first degree murder in front of like a hundred witnesses”
  • “That shirt is atrocious and I am ashamed to even know of its existence”
  • “What the fuck made you think that was okay on any level?”
  • “I hate you all”
  • “No, you plebeian, I do not want one of your germ-infested free samples they’ve probably been on that tray for years anyway”
  • “Oh god it touched me I’m going to have to cut off that foot now”
  • “I’m not a cat and the next person to compare me to one will find out what it feels like to have my entire foot up their ass”
  • “Coffee is god’s second most important gift to mankind, with the first being me, of course. Harry, stop laughing”
  • “I can’t tell if that’s a picture of a barf stain or your dog”
  • “Why would you ever”
  • “This conversation has officially bored me to tears, so I’m going to go do something more entertaining, like watch grass grow. Draco out.”

I don’t think I’ve ever uploaded this. I’ve had it for ages, the art is old now, but it’s still relevant. Here’s my canon warden, Lenaios Surana. He’s an easy-going, elfroot-smoking spirit healer who can’t lie to save his life. Ferelden’s very own hippie elf doctor dude.

anonymous asked:

what about the stairs in the forests!!! and what doc were you watching and would you recommend?

ok so I DON’T BELIEVE IN THE STAIRS IN THE FORESTS! mainly because I’m A Search and Rescue Officer for the U.S. Forest Service, and I Have Some Stories to Tell a) is posted on /r/nosleep so it’s definitely made up, b) the op admits to knowing about David Paulides, and lbr knowing about = being influenced by, so it’s definitely made up, and c) if you read all the way through to the end it stops being even vaguely believable and starts reading like a WTNV transcript, and then he plugs his book, so it’s DEFINITELY MADE UP. however, it is an amazing (read: terrifying) thread, some of it is obviously based on truths/insider SAR knowledge which means a lot of it is probably uncomfortably close to actually being true, and it’s a good Gateway Read into MISSING PEOPLE IN NATIONAL PARKS CONSPIRACY THEORIES, which is where I live now. (plus, if you read this before getting into anything else it imbues every single missing persons case with an unsettling sense of Eldritch horror, which is why I had to turn on three overheads and unfocus my eyes all the way to the bathroom last night at 2am.) 

so yeah, after reading that /r/nosleep thing for the first time I drew a line under it and moved on until SOMEONE (ahem@roundtop) sent me a link to an article called How 1,600 People Went Missing from Our Public Lands Without a Trace (on a legit and sensible outdoorsy people website), like ‘haha, stairs in the forest!’ and I SWAN DIVED DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE. thus: the documentary-watching, staying up till 2am and spending all day today trying to find copies of David Paulides’ books for less than $80 inc. postage. 

THIS DUDE DAVID PAULIDES. he was in law enforcement before, for some reason, deciding to become a ~*~cryptozoologist~*~ and certified gung-ho Bigfoot conspiracy theorist, and through that found out about how many people had disappeared without a trace from National Parks in the U.S., did 7,000 hours worth of digging, and wrote a bunch of books about it. his books are called Missing 411 and are about the ridiculous number of people who go missing in National Parks, the usually weird circumstances around their disappearances, the fact that when people are found (dead or alive) it’s often in places miles and miles and sometimes waaaaay higher up mountains than where they disappeared from, and all sorts of creepy crap to boot. like they can’t get bloodhounds to find a scent, or they find tiny children miles away from where they got lost, barefoot, without a scratch on the soles of their feet, human remains being found years later in places that were search dozens and dozens of times. not to mention the National Parks… People (? I really don’t know enough to be making this post) are aware of what’s happening but don’t keep a list of the people who’ve gone missing on their lands. 

(which is all part of why I’m A Search and Rescue Officer for the U.S. Forest Service is so freaky – enough of it (people being found miles away, kids being found up mountains, the people in charge being cagey about it all) sounds real that you can believe it was actually written by a SAR Officer. heebies!) 

it’s all real nightmare fuel, if you’re the sort of person who is absolutely terrified by all this Scary Forest Disappearing People Unexplainable Deaths stuff, i.e. me. luckily I can’t afford to buy any of them! phew! however, I haven’t let that stop me from a) SCARING MYSELF SHITLESS and b) BECOMING A TIN HATTER, and it shouldn’t stop you either: you can read loads of stuff over at /r/missing411, listen to one of his initial interviews (in which he talks about how he was approached by two park employees in plain clothes who were like ‘please investigate this, there’s SOMETHING going on and it’s so goddamn weird’) on Coast to Coast AM (which is, like, a paranormal radio station… I’m sorry), watch a bunch of Paulides’/CanAm Missing Project’s vids about disappearances on youtube, and listen to hours worth of interviews and late night spooky radio/podcast discussions with Paulides. 

the documentary I thought I was watching was Missing 411, which is based on his books and Kickstarted by the public in 2015, but it turns out that they’re apparently shopping it around at festivals so it’s not out yet. what I was actually watching (and quickly abandoned) was a weird supercut of all of David Paulides’ tv interviews and some cryptozoologist chatter about Bigfoot. Paulides, god love him, never ever SAYS Bigfoot in any of his books, and everything he presents is 100% factually accurate and extensively researched, but… I think we can safely say he thinks it’s Bigfoot. tbh, after reading about Jaryd Atadero I think it’s Bigfoot. I mean, goddamn. 

so, yeah. I’ve finished reading every search and rescue story on this blog (Hunt for the Death Valley Germans is LONG but awesome), I’ve got West of Memphis ready to watch after work tomorrow because I remembered how much I love that case and spooky true crime things, if you have any related LINKS or STUFF about This Shit then REBLOG THIS/MSG ME AND TELL ME, or if you have a copy of a Missing 411 book you wouldn’t mind mailing to me then LET ME KNOW, and in conclusion I can’t believe America is so fucking huge and unkind, goodnight.

But imagine, if Harry heard voices, what do you think Sirius would have heard? Yes Harry lived a shitty life he lost his parents and Cedric (up until that moment) but Sirius, oh my dear god Sirius, he lost his blood brother, his brother, Lily, Marlene, Fleamont, Euphemia, half of the Order, he would have been so drawn to the veil, he probably would have walked through it willingly if he hadn’t fallen in the first place.

I made myself extremely sad.

Imagine Sam, Dean and Castiel all being changed into Women after a witch casts a spell on them

You choked on your coffee practically coughing up your lungs as you saw the three standing before you in the library. “The Witches did something to our bodies!” Sam said waving his well, her, arms out to the side. “You….you’re……women. oh my god! I have to write those witches a thank you card and send them some fruit baskets or herb baskets.” you laughed standing up. “Dammit Y/N! This isnt funny!” Female Dean said. You stopped in your tracks and stared at them. “Look here, you boys, well…..girls now…..used to treat me like crap. You ordered me around, made me feel like I was just here to help you and please you. Now…..” you stopped in your tracks. 

“Oh my god…..” you whispered before laughing again. “What?!” Dean said crossing his arms. “The spell will play itself out, you’re like this to get a taste of your own medicine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be relaxing, because there is no way in hell we’re hunting with you three walking vaginas.” You smirked walking away. 


It had been three days and no one had turned back yet. “NOTHING FITS!” Dean screamed storming down the hallway in a robe you’d given her. You laughed as she stormed in your room. “Relax Deana, Just borrow some of my clothes…Samantha did earlier as well as Cassie” You smirked. Dean grabbed your last pair of clean jeans and a flannel. “Easy there, Thats what Im wearing out tonight. I’ve got your outfit already picked out.” you smirked pulling out the black leather mini skirt with a red tank top. “Oh hell no” Deana said putting a hand on her hip. 


@ellen-reincarnated1967 @jodyri @growningupgeek @justanotherdeangirl25 @gleefinn @gerardwaysleftfoot @mrssamfuckingwinchester @teamfreewill-imagine @bbywinchester67 @faegal04 @adriellej @galactictoastxd1 @kittenofdoomage @oriona75 @shadowlightforcast @covarrubiasalex @lost-in-the-stories @team-free-will-family @gloria1097 @xxtprecklessxx @oinchavengewho @jensen-jarpad @if-i-was-heard @dancingalone21 @thequeenofgood @thebunkerismyhome @mrstheorossix3 @wonderless-screwup @moonstonemystyk @cass-xxo @teamfreewilllovesyou @wayward-fandom-trxsh @pinolief2001 @everyday-supernatural-af @allsupernaturalposts @missbabyfae @probablyinsan-e @chelseypaigeake @supernatural-jackles @mysteriouslyme81

A/N: Im sorry this is a crappy piece and I havent posted for a while, Im finishing Unspoken (The final chapter) and working on a cute soft cuddly piece for @ellen-reincarnated1967 :) Please get a small laugh over this little piece of trash and just wait until I get my mojo back some and this baby will be on fire again…..I hope lol

another little A/N: Guys, if you want tagged make sure you’re following my blog. its not letting me tag some of you and I think its because you arent following :( 

3

“you’re going to love the school, piper!”
“yeah, but if you’re not in slytherin we’re gonna have to disown you.”
“…w-wait, what?”
“drew, no.”

this was originally gonna be part of a huge comic but i don’t have the time/patience to draw the sorting hat that many times :/ so here’s silena and drew, welcoming their lil’ sister piper to slytherin! 

This Dick Slip is Obviously Intentional but it was so Fucking Hot that I just had to share it with you guys.. What do you all think? For me it’s Oh my Fucking God !!! This just made me cum in my pants. Getting a Erection in tight low rise blue jeans with no underwear on is never a good idea if your a modest guy Because the Cream will always rise to the top if you know what I mean. This boy obviously rose to the occasion. I’m sure glad he did. How Fucking Sexy!!! I just have to say the body hair just added to how perfect this pic is.

Zodiac + Crushes

Aries: Oh my god, how can one person be so hot??? I would rock their world.

Taurus: *sweats nervously* Okay I need some liquid courage *chugs whole bottle*

Gemini: I’m just going to go talk to that gorgeous creature over there

Cancer: Can they just read my mind, so I don’t have to keep staring at them???

Leo: Hot damn, guess there is a god cause he made an angel. *stares at them like anime character in love*

Virgo: *sighs* Why must I feel attraction to others??? It takes a toll on my mental stability.

Libra: OMG!!! THEY LOOKED AT ME!!!

Scorpio: That’s marriage material right there.

Sagittarius: *bashes eyelashes* I’m gonna go see what their favorite band is and see if their worth my time

Capricorn: Oh god they looked at me *sweats, blushes 10 shades red*

Aquarius: La la oh look guess that means I’ll get major emotions over someone Time to get wired hell yeah

Pisces: UGH JUST LOVE ME PLEASE?!?!

BTS as things my brother said while driving

seokjin: it’s okay i curse when i drive because what happens in the car stays in the car
yoongi: i hate everyone on the road
hoseok: oH MY GOD PLEASE MOVE I’M HUNGRY
namjoon: it was late at night and dark and i ran through a pot hole that made me have a heart attack to the point i thought i dented the car but then i got down to check and it’s okay - what do you mean switch on the lights
jimin: i have my signal on why won’t people let me go i’M A NICE PERSON
taehyung: please people have mercy on me and let me cut into your lane
jungkook: *lets car in front of him go and person doesn’t gesture a thanks* YOU’RE GOD DAMNED WELCOME

Dating Tate Would Include...

(Post Death)

  • Meeting in the murder house. That should be the basis of this whole thing. Be careful.
  • He would literally be like a pet waiting for you to get home every day.
  • “You’re home! I waited for you. What did you do today? Are you hungry? I made you some food…”
  • Lots of cuddling
  • Tate is the little spoon. Practically always
  • Music listening.
  • “Here, listen to this. None of that new shit.” “Oh my god, you are an old man, Tate.”
  • Him literally just sitting around watching you as you go about your day, doing work, chores. etc.
  • He is an actual cat?? (including the evil personality)
  • Very insecure so you’d have to constantly reassure him he’s amazing
  • Dirty talk all the time
  • Sex everywhere
  • Halloween becomes the only holiday you care about. Going to movies, places, traveling to places that you can go and come home in one day.
  • He’s kinda overbearing.
  • Super protective, even the mailman is kinda freaked out to talk to you tbh
  • “Tate, leave him alone.” “What?” [cue shit eating grin]
  • Sarcastic jokes, teasing constantly just to get a reaction out of you
  • So much sex
  • Dealing with Tate’s split personality
  • Being afraid of who he is, but standing up to him. This makes him snap out of it but he feels guilty every time.
  • Lots of apologizing.
  • Makeup sex.
  • Making love.
  • Keeping each other sane while living with the other ghosts
  • Tate introducing you to Nora
  • Nora thinking of you as the daughter she never had
  • Tate calming you down if the other ghosts make you start to question yourself and your morality
  • Hiding from everyone else together, listening to each other’s heartbeats
  • Knowing you’re complete with each other
  • Sorry, but….. Tate doesn’t age…. He tries to kill you so that you’ll be together forever. Make with that what you will.
I met him and suddenly the sky turned from grey to blue and my heart finally found itself.
I didn’t know what it was like to love, or even have a crush on someone. But one day someone was going to have to break me and oh God I wish it wasn’t him.
His brown eyes captivated me and I stared into them so much I saw the green that hid in them.
He was my green.
In a world of brown, he was my green.
Just by the simple act of our knees brushing set me to flames.
He made me love so hard and so fast.
He made the caterpillars in my stomach turn into butterfly’s and they flew up into my chest.
I didn’t care how many times he destroyed me.
Whenever I put my heart back together, it was stuck together with tape that had his name written all over it.
I didn’t care how many times he broke me.
I just wanted those amazing times in between.
He shattered me, or who I was, completely.
On that day, I changed. I became a different person and over half a year later, I’m still trying to learn who she is.
I still forget how to talk, or breathe, when his eyes meet mine.
He’s a horrible person who does nothing but hurt other people.
But oh how he saved me.
—  He saved me and destroyed me and I can’t decide which is better.
Basically

Basically the Tumblr Community of OW

“We love blizz they actually made tracer gay it’s amazing we love you blizzard :,) 💛💙💘💖”

*gency lines come out*

“FUCK YOUR BLIZZ WE HATE YOU OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS HETERO BULL SHIT I HATE BLIZZARD NEVER PLAYING OW AGAIN”

The hypocrisy is just out standing like people… You guys got a couple feet, stop running a damn mile thinking blizz owes you so many gay characters. Cause they don’t. They also can have straight people too. Cause you know. It’s a diverse game and shit

text starters from my phone

(most of these I dug into the archives of FB messages from college years)

[text] Have fun tonight!!!
[text] I’m about to get my hair dyed purple
[text] Impromptu tattoos anyone?
[text] I was thinking in person cause I don’t want to half ass apologize through text
[text] Oh my god. I’m so sorry.
[text]
[text] Are you there?
[text] I will never say no to pizza
[text] I have a big [lesbian/gay] crush on _______ and I have no idea why
[text] I am going to fill in my eyebrows and get the fuck out of here for a while. Fuck this
[text] I don’t know why you think you have to explain yourself when it’s pretty clear what went down.
[text] I made it worse, I’m so sorry
[text] I fucked up and wasn’t thinking of your feelings.
[text] I can’t wait to see you.
[text]
I am unbelievably angry at you right now
[text] I need coffee or weed or sleep, not sure which one
[text] I drunk texted _______ last night
[text] I get it. i’ve kind of been sort of cold, distant, and extremely ambiguous.
[text] No worries. I figured you were just crazy busy.
[text] So are we ever going to have sex again
[text] I guess I’ll fuck [hm/her/them].
[text] It wasn’t fair for me to get so mad.
[text] I’m so pissed off I could punch someone
[text] Don’t punch anyone, talk to me instead.
[text] If you kept kissing me like that I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself
[text] Are you and _______ official yet?
[text] I was just trying to do this right but not going to push anything.
[text] thinking of you makes me awake cause my heart beats more and other romantic stuff
[text] It’s clear I was interested in you much more than you were in me
[text] I hate being happy and having crushes
[text] i wanted to be with you for a while but we were separated by a lot of stuff
[text] If you’re going to tell me I’m awesome one day and then ignore me the next I really don’t need that
[text] I honestly want to know how many jars of peanut butter I singlehandedly ate this year
[text] I’m like half functional adult half total trainwreck
[text] My first engaged ex - “ex” used very loosely
[text] I love being your neo-feminist best friend
[text] A picture of us popped up in my Timehop a couple of days ago and it made me think of you and how you were doing.
[text] If i became homeless, I’d be totally cool with living on the beach
[text] I BARELY DRANK IN COLLEGE. I BARELY DRINK NOW. CAN WE MOVE ON PLEASE
[text] We’ll probably have some quick drinks and then hit up a club
[text] I am drunk and feel like a purple moon fairy
[text] You’re just in total denial of your feelings and need to grow up
[text] I’m totes going to kick your ass.
[text] I got my period PRAISE THE LORD
[text] They have been talking about meatballs for 30 minutes #ItalianFamilyProblems
[text] I woke up in a relationship and I am going to sleep single tonight.
[text] I may or may not have done something really bad.
[text] I always drop everything for you and you never, ever do the same.
[text] Breathe. I’m sure it will be fine.
[text] Young adjunct professor just asked me out for drinks…do you think he means like, lattes-drinks or DRANKS?
[text] BIG GIRLS DON’T CRY
[text] I used think [he/she] was creepy as hell but now [he/she] is hot AF.
[text] Last night I went on a date with a fireman and he took me to his firehouse and I sat in the firetruck.
[text] I had a long vivid dream last night that was literally just about holding a baby.

CRAZY-EX GIRLFRIEND SENTENCE STARTERS.
feel free to change up pronouns or wording to better suit your muse!

  • ❝ i did not move here for him. ❞ 
  • ❝ speaking of flash points, you’re really blowing my mind right now. ❞ 
  • ❝ what’ll it be? ❞
  • ❝ i’d like a beer, please. any kind. ❞
  • ❝ never order alcohol again. ❞
  • ❝ i felt warm, like glitter was exploding inside me. ❞
  • ❝ i’m having a manic episode. ❞
  • ❝ it was a shit show. ❞
  • ❝ oh my god, i think i like you. ❞
  • ❝ she’s got one of them secret boot-ays. ❞ 
  • ❝ a kiss on the cheek means… everything. ❞
  • ❝ you’re a breeder, not a leader. ❞
  • ❝ i’m a both-sexual. ❞ 
  • ❝ you’re pretty and you’re smart and you’re ignoring me, so you’re obviously my type. ❞ 
  • ❝ ok, well, let’s not knock someone for a fetish. ❞
  • ❝ he’s suspiciously good-looking in ways that normal people are not. ❞
  • ❝ my father didn’t leave me. ❞ 
  • ❝ this is what happy feels like. ❞ 
  • ❝ look at all my friends! ❞ 
  • ❝ it’s my gateway drug. ❞
  • ❝ it’s not a drug, it’s a potato. ❞
  • ❝ she is smoking! ❞ 
  • ❝ i woke up like this. ❞
  • ❝ women gotta stick together. ❞
  • ❝ my name’s ____. i just said it. ❞ 
  • ❝ why should we root for someone straight, male and white? ❞
  • ❝ i need to use the bathroom… again! ❞
  • ❝ we make quite a pair. ❞
  • ❝ should i be giggling right now? ❞
  • ❝ i’m so much better than you. ❞
  • ❝ wow. i can’t believe it took us that long to come to the most obvious solution! ❞
  • ❝ to be clear, your parents wanna have sex with me. ❞
  • ❝ weirdly, this isn’t about you. ❞
  • ❝ you reward failure. ❞
  • ❝ you make a difference in the world and you make all the difference in the world to me. ❞
windows 7 destruction starters

“ it’s magic ___ , it’s magic “
“ dude i couldn’t even carry that much money in my pockets “
“ oh my god, oh my sweet jesus “
“ i’m going to poop inside out “
“ it’s literally- oh
“ and advertisements, why “
“ i refuse to have your mustaches “
“ look at this infinite wall of things “
“ let’s close this down “
“ already did this nice ass koala “
“ look at this massive mouse “
“ ohh, oh man “
“ what is the worst offender “
“ it’s good for you! “
“ okey “
“ this doesnt look fishy at all “
“ mmm yes, get in me “
“ time to go to the internet, and see how we can fix this “
“ these are made up reviews, to make idiots think they’re safe”
“ that’s like getting an atomic bomb, and putting a sticker on it that says ‘steve didn’t get killed by this’ “
“ this thing has a voice? “
“ radical- no this isn’t the 80′s anymore “
“ my. pony. “
“ what is this beast on my floor “
“ what in the fuck is this “
“ they all wanna send me shoes”
“ bad ass mafia toolbars “
“ oh-oh. this looks fan-tastic “
“ my friends are gonna think i’m the raddest kid in the world. in. the. world. “