Heathens - Smut - [thelittlestkitsune]

  A scruffy hoes production. ©

Author: thelittlestkitsune

Rating: NSFW 18+

Pairing: Void/Reader

Words: 5,017


This is dark. It seems light at first but the ending is dark, you know me. Please don’t read if you have any problems with death/suicide. Thank you so much!

AN: Happy Halloween fuckers! The hoes and I couldn’t let the most important of holidays go by without giving you a treat! or is it a trick? Who knows! Enjoy xoxo

Originally posted by stydialovin

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Fic: All Out of Love

All Out Of Love (6x05 reaction fic)
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Blaine/David Karofsky
Word count: 2,600
Rating: Teen

Summary: “It’s a couple of days later, after everything with Jane explodes, that Blaine realizes he may still actually be kind of angry.”

Notes: This is my long-delayed elevator reaction fic, which ended up being a reaction fic for all of the first five episodes as well. Thanks to damnpene​ and wowbright​ for beta help and asking when it would be finished.

All Out Of Love

Blaine has never been very good with anger. His family doesn’t fight, not really, and at school he learned early on that if you’re small for your age and gay, you use charm, or you run. He’d learned to box at Dalton, and that had helped, but still sometimes the anger he tried to move past or hide from found him anyway, and usually at the worst possible time. It blew up at Cooper. At Sam. At himself. At Kurt.

During that last fight, he’d gotten really, really angry. A fire too red to see through had filled his brain, and his chest was tight, like he was going to explode of out of his skin. When he’d told Kurt that he would never forgive him for breaking off their engagement, he’d meant it. He’d meant it when he packed a bag and moved out. He stayed furious, too: when Elliott came to see him, cautiously reassuring that he wasn’t taking sides but just wanted to help his friends, Blaine had slammed the door in his face.

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Hey, bud :)

I’m so sorry, I know that

and chances are that you’ve already made up your mind, but just in case you haven’t, I think that I owe you a proper response.
I obviously cannot judge your aptitude in either musical theatre or drawing, so I’m gonna go ahead and say that you’re equally talented in both and that’s why you’re conflicted. So what is one to do as a person of many talents?

0) Reality Check

Are you able to afford an education?

Are you able to cover your expenses while you’re studying?

Are there universities/colleges in a location that is accessible to you/would you be willing/able to move?

Are there universities/colleges that offer the programme(s) you’re looking for?

If you answered yes to all of these, please continue! Here’s a koala, because koalas, amirite?

1) Ask for professional opinions & determine your own stamina

You’re probably very good in both areas, but just how good is “very good”? To turn a passion into a job, you mustn’t only be good, you must be GOOD (and lucky). You’re still in school, so please don’t start pressuring yourself into having to be a prodigy already - you still have many, many years ahead of you to learn the craft and you should do so carefully and not in a hurry. But it’s always good to get an (educated) outsider’s opinion - where are you right now, according to your musical theatre and drawing teacher? How would they judge your capabilities?
(You can also put some stuff online and see how people react, but this is pretty risky if you’re not used to trolls.)
You obviously shouldn’t take anybody’s word as gospel (they might have their own prejudices and there are a bazillion tastes out there), but it’s good to get a feel for how one or more member(s) of the craft would judge you (and whether they’d be willing to write recommendations).
Once you have their opinions, ask yourself if they align with your own opinions. Next, decide on just how much work it would be to get yourself up to snuff and whether you would be ready to make that sacrifice.
(This is also a good exercise to test just how resilient you are to negative feedback and how strongly you believe in your dreams.)

After this step, you might already feel pulled more towards one than the other, but keep your options open for now. There are still some challenges to overcome.

2) Put yourself to the test

A good friend of mine is a super talented artist, so, naturally, she thought about applying to art school. But when she was forced to put together a portfolio of fixed pieces and to adhere to certain parameters within limited amounts of time, she found that this just wasn’t what “art” means to her.
For her, “art” has to come from the heart, it’s highly personal and you can’t just force that out of yourself - you have to be inspired to make art that means something.
Well, unless you’re a professional.
In that case you sometimes have to make stuff, even if you hate it, you have to hand stuff in, even though you’re not 100% satisfied, you have to perform even though you’re not on one wavelength with the character yet. Professionals have to power through this. They have to reach an audience, they have to bring money in and if that means doing a comissioned work of a zebra even though you’re zebraphobic, then so be it.
So test yourself.
Are you able and willing to put that pressure on yourself?

Fix a date one month in the future. Until then, you have to study a huge role you have never played before or create your kind of craft you’re responsible for on stage. Act as if this was an admission test. Put your focus entirely on musical theatre for that one month (except for school and friends, obviously). Don’t even touch a pen, don’t even think about a pen. Find yourself in that role.
How does it feel to do this under your own pressure?
Do you let yourself go and just stop at some point, because you’re not passionate enough about it? Do you feel like you’re going crazy because the pressure is too much and this is not how you thought it would be? Or does it feel like this is what you’ve been wanting to all your life?

Then, rinse and repeat with a huge art/animation project one month into the future.

Compare the two experiences.
Which felt more natural to you? Which made you happier? Which outcome was better?

3) Reflect and look ahead

Think about both of these exercises and analyse what they did to you. They can tell you where you are right now, but your tastes are subject to change. Do you believe your current obsession with musical theatre/drawing is intrinsic to you and you’ll still have it in you when you’re old and grey? Are you willing to take that jump?
Write two letters adressed to yourself 5 years in the future. Describe where you see yourself as an artist in five years. Where are you? What have you achieved? Which masterpieces have you created? Who have you become? What’s your social circle? Where do you live? Where do you study? What do you look like? What is your dream vision?

Then do the same thing with a musical theatre-you.
Which flowed more naturally? During which could you hear yourself mumbling “Oh god, that would be so amazing” and “I would die if that really happened”.

By now, a clear favourite should start to crystallize. Time for the last exercise.

4) Read theory

Art isn’t only about creating, it’s also about learning different techniques, knowing what you’re doing and being aware of the history and implications that your art carries. So take an afternoon off, go to the library and pick up a beginner’s college-level introduction into (musical) theatre/art/animation theory and see which one you jive with more easily. Really try to understand what you’re reading and see how often you go “Ooooh, I could use this” or “Aaaah, I never thought about it that way”.

Now, lean back at the end of that afternoon, close your eyes and

I know it’s cheesy, but it’s also true. In the end, only you can know where your heart really lies. And it’s not as if you have to abandon one or the other - you can still practice one as a relaxing hobby (in fact, I’d highly recommend that).

What does your heart (and mind) say? Which one could you practice professionally and which one takes a muse and inspiration?

I hope you’ll find your way and if you still cannot make up your mind after that, you know where to find me!