280517: my finals for this semester aren’t until the end of june but I’m starting to really condense everything by combining my lecture and textbook notes so I have a handy guide to refer to during stuvac.
I’ve been thinking all week what I should say the last night of the last show… When I met Josh I- I- We don’t- We don’t tell many people this because we don’t want it to come off the wrong way, but I want you to learn something tonight- If you can, if you can. This is what I want you to know: You cannot put a ceiling to your dreams. You just can’t. When Josh and I met, we would say to each other, ‘Arenas… Arenas, man. We wanna play arenas.’ You have to understand maybe now looking around it’s like 'Yeah, sure.’ But at that moment, when Josh and I would say that to each other, we didn’t tell anyone else because we thought they would laugh at us. We would take these little songs, this little keyboard stand thing I’m playing now, that beat up piano show over there- That same exact beat up piano show. We would go around and we would just show people our songs. And you know we’d be playing in front of just a few people at a time, afterwards we would just say 'Greetings. We’re gonna do this.’ You cannot put a ceiling on your dreams, guys, and we are living proof. You also can’t do it alone. You cannot do it alone. Living proof of that, would you please give up for my very good friend, Josh Dun on the drums! And even in this room right now there’s so many people in here who could take a little chunk of this thing and own it and know that it wouldn’t be possible without them and that includes you guys right here. You guys have set the tone from what a Twenty One Pilots concert and show and movement feels like and looks like, so thank you so much for making that happen. I want you to know that what happens after this… There’s a lot of- lot of questions. You know, if I’m being transparent. I’m not really sure. But when I was- when I was putting on my persona for the very first- last time in the green room right before the show, I wondered: Is this the last time? But we’re not gonna quit. I want you to know that we’re not gonna quit. We’re gonna take the things we’ve learned, and if you would just give us a little room to grow with you guys, we wanna make music and we’re gonna be thinking of this room right here when we do. I promise you that. So way back when, when we were playing in front of just a few people at a time, Josh would go over to a- a rickety old circular bar table and he would back flip off of it in front of three people, and I though that was kind of weird. Same piano show over there, these same songs… We saw you guys in our heads the whole time we were doing it, man! And we always ended our set- We always ended our sets with this song here, and we would like to invite you in our little tradition of closing out this concert with this last song with us.
Tyler Joseph, Tour De Columbus, Last Show of the Blurryface Era Trees Speech, 6/25/17
whatever you do, don’t think about the possibility that lup, in the umbrastaff, went into the white space with taako in the eleventh hour and saw everything he saw.
don’t think about her watching as the chalice rewinds through his past and seeing nothing but static where she should be. all those memories of growing up together, life on the road, hopping from caravan to caravan, watching each other’s backs, teaching each other spells - all those memories that she treasures, memories that sustained her over ten lonely years in wave echo cave, memories that kept her sane and grounded and herself because they were so important to her…. all of them, just gone. staticked over like it’s nothing.
and she knows by know that taako’s forgotten her. she knows lucretia must have pulled some bullshit with fisher and the mission logs and that’s why no one remembers, she knows all that and understands it’s not their fault, not his fault for forgetting her - but that doesn’t stop it from hurting. it doesn’t take the sting out of seeing the most important person in her life unable to even acknowledge her existence.
and then she gets to watch the years he spent alone - actually, properly alone for the first time in his life, and how terribly he took it, to the point where he latched on to the first person who would have him despite the fact that their working relationship was unhealthy and unbalanced right from the start. she watches his pride and vanity get the better of him without her there to help keep it in check, she watches sazed’s hero worship turn to jealousy turn to resentment turn to murderous intent and she’s fucking terrified at how close he came to actually taking out his intended target. taako could have died in glamour springs with the others - died for good, with no lich powers or starblaster to bring him back - and she never would have known. out of everything she sees in the white space, that scares her the most of all.
and then after all that, just to put the cherry on top of this sundae of misery, the chalice decides to give thb one parting “fuck you” and shows them phandalin burning in glorious hi-def slow mo cuz it’s a vindictive little shit of a relic. meaning that, not only does lup - the same gal who values the fuck out of sentient life to the point where she was willing to fight her crewmates in order to protect a bunch of robots - get to watch the relic she created burn up thousands and thousands of innocent civilians…. oh no, that’s not enough. she also gets to see her creation kill one barold j bluejeans, the love of her fucking life. so that’s fun too.
(which is not even to mention thb encountering barry outside of refuge and his helpless little “they don’t trust me, lup” and she’s RIGHT FUCKING THERE but can’t do anything to make him feel better and just guhhh. cut our poor girl some fucking slack, griffin, she’s had a shitty enough day as it is)
i just, i dunno man. the more i think about the end of that arc in the context of what we know now, the more upsetting it is. lup deserves a fucking break after all she went through in eleventh hour. and her body back. and $15. with 110 years worth of interest for her troubles.