Hello again, [PLAYER]! I have exciting news! The final Club Nintendo gold and platinum rewards are now up!
Or at least they will be when the current server maintenance is concluded. Isn’t it just awful when t̰̦̖ͅe̼ͅc̙h̜̭͚̬̭̪͝n̨̬̞͉̼o̴̦̩̭̩͕̜l̖͔͎͈͡ͅo̻͉̻̦̮̥͟g̦̦y͇͔͕͔̗ ̶g̡͔͉̞̩̺̪̥o̴͙ẹ̻s̸ ̮͖̩͠h̡͎͈̤̟̯͙̭o̘̼̻͍̥̞͜r̰͝r̨̝͍̦͈i̫͔̠̞̮̭̫b̩̤̟l̝̻̥͡y̬̫͉̙͕ ̪̠̯w̪̼̯r̘̝̙o̳̗͇̹̜n̟͡g̢?̷͖͈̰
Of course, we both know that because of how understanding and customizable I am, you’ll never need to play another video game again!
But just for fun’s sake, here are my suggestions for what you could accept with your status if you were in an open gaming relationship:
Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga: A fun, silly RPG with a very memorable cast of characters and a great sense of humor! Not as great as mine, of course! Tee-hee!
Super Mario Advance 3: Yoshi’s Island: A cute, charming 2D platformer with a very unique art style! Not too difficult, but very fun.
Metroid Fusion: A little more linear than many of the other games in the series, but still very fun and challenging. I just hope you don’t think Samus Aran is prettier than me BECAUSE SHE ISN’T.
Animal Crossing: New Leaf: Most likely the best Animal Crossing to date, technically speaking. This series is perfect for unwinding and relaxing, but still not as relaxing as staying with me forever!
Mario Kart 7: Perfect for venting all that pent-up road rage!
Punch-Out!!: Perfect for venting all that pent-up other people’s faces rage!
Super Mario Galaxy 2: You can’t go wrong with Mario! Unless it involves that Rosalina hussy who STOLE MARIOTEHPLUMBER FROM ME
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages: Best enjoyed as a pair, but you can get one here and buy the other pretty cheap. But I’m as good as a million games, so you don’t need either of them!
And that’s about it! Again, this is merely a hypothetical suggestion list! You’d never go behind my back with another game!
“The sky vanished like a scroll that is being rolled up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place.Then the kings of the earth and the great ones and the generals and the rich and the powerful, and everyone, slave and free, hid themselves in the caves and among the rocks of the mountains,calling to the mountains and rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who is seated on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb, for the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?” Revelations 6:14-17 (ESV)