Just the Nurse

“It’s just the nurse”
A statement I’ve heard more times than I can recall.
A statement I vacillate between being utterly pissed off at; given some people take for granted what we do, take for granted how consistently we are the ones by their side and not seen - and a statement I’m also sometimes not offended at, pausing as I consider how perhaps we’re simply seen as a circle of trust.

Just the nurse who caught the baby’s heart murmur

Just the nurse who listened when everyone else walked out the door

Just the nurse who carefully cleaned parts of you when others shouted what’s that horrible smell in that room.

Just the nurse who had to call your annoyed provider 5 times just for them to come talk to you and answer your questions

Just the nurse who threw their back out from years and years of physical exertion with turning and positioning.

Just the nurse who contributes daily to interdisciplinary rounds, to discussions surrounding your care for the day

Just the nurse who advocates for quality of life discussions

Just the nurse who helped the baby docs when they were med students, when they were residents, when they were scared.

Just the nurse who continues to advocate and work collaboratively with your doctor so you get the kind of care our system so ardently resists.

Just the nurse who teaches the new mama how to hold, nurse and bathe their baby

Just the nurse who cared for you over and over, day after day, admission after admission for 12 hour shifts and made you their world

Just the nurse who fights hard for safe staffing ratios so you get the quality of care you deserve.

Just the nurse who stands their ground and tosses out anyone who interferes with your healing or recovery time.

Just the nurse who prayed for you when science no longer had any answers

Just the nurse who cares for you as you take your last breath

Just the nurse who comforts your family when they have nowhere to go with their grief.

Just the nurse who gently wraps you in a shroud and pauses quietly to keep you in their own memory and heart

Just the nurse who doesn’t demand you respect us, rather quietly asks that you don’t insult our presence.

Just the nurse, the highly educated bachelors, masters, and doctorate level prepared, certified nurses who worked hard to attain the scientific and evidence practice based knowledge that will help save your life.

Just the nurse who isn’t perfect, but works every day to learn more and perfect their care.

Just the nurse who goes home and cries for you.

Every other day, Every other week may in everyone’s eyes be about every other provider, but let today, let this week not be an insult; let it just simply be about the nurse.

Happy National Nurses Day,
Happy National Nurses week -
To “just” the nurses.

Hey pals. Apparently this is a thing that we, as an internet femslash community, need, so it is time for Grouchy Aunt J’s Guide To Fandom Deportment.

1. I know that you really like your favourite actors, especially the ones involved in your fave wlw ships. I totally understand this! They are pretty, and wlw fandom is really fun, and if your ship is also a canon ship then it is super exciting and validating to see yourself reflected in media that you love. I, too, love that feeling and get really passionate about the media that I watch, which is why I am a Fandom Old.

2. The actors in your favourite ships are people. Like, real people, with anxieties and food preferences and sometimes they have weird hair days and some of them are introverted and some of them are extroverted, etc etc etc. When they are acting in your favourite media, they are going to work.

3. Part of an actor’s job these days is to sometimes be around on social media. Sometimes not! If they are kind/friendly/available on social media, that is a fun perk of someone who is going the extra mile for their job. You are not entitled to this.

4. Even if you super like a ship and are really passionate about fandom, there are things it is not alright to do. Actors are people, and when fans start treating them poorly it is unkind and potentially frightening or traumatic. Plus, your behaviour reflects badly on all fans and means that fandom as a whole doesn’t get to have nice things anymore. (Thanks, jerks.)

5. It is never okay to:

  • harass actors on social media because something about their character is interfering with your ship/they’re not supporting your ship enough/they’re supporting the wrong ship too much/their character is problematic/the ship you think their ship is better than is problematic/just whatever please stop it this is not their problem. Tweeting at them will not fix whatever is upsetting you on the show you like, but it is probably pretty hurtful for them and not something they should have to put up with.
  • harass/question actors who are involved in queer ships about their sexuality in public spaces. People’s sexuality is private, and being involved in portraying a queer canon or subtext ship doesn’t give fans the right to know about an actor’s queerness or lack thereof unless they choose to volunteer that.
  • tell actors on social media about any sexual fantasies you may or may not have about them, b/c sexual consent also applies to actors.
  • send actors unsolicited links to/hand bound novellas/lovingly hand-lettered scrolls of fanfiction, especially smutty fanfiction, especially especially if that author is not aware that their fic is getting sent to actors inappropriately.
  • send actors your nsfw fanart about them, or someone else’s nsfw fanart about them, oh my g o d.
  • ask them to read your fanfiction or autograph your fanfiction, damn.

5a. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself: would I, or another a reasonable person, want to see this [insert fanwork of varying levels of nsfw] about a representation of myself/themselves? Most actors are actual people who find this just as upsetting as you might find it, if someone drew fanart of you and then brought it to your workplace.

5b. Yes, I know, there is a certain amount of distance involved in creating fanworks because they are about fictional characters and that storytelling and play is one of the things I love about fandom. But I also never, under any circumstances, would want any of the actors involved in my ships to read my fanfiction because it would be super uncomfortable and that’s the point

6. Also, your favourite actor’s non-actor family and friends are just that: not actors. Don’t bother them. Don’t - hypothetically - stalk them and try to catfish them to get information about your favourite actor. It’s super super not okay and it’s a huge boundary violation.

In conclusion: social media is super great and has changed fandom in a lot of neat ways, but having cool TV and movie actors available to connect with in that way is a privilege, not a right. Let’s all act like we are worthy of it.