Not my best

i am a studyblr, i am a student, but i am not a study machine. yet here i sit, overworked; physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. still, i’m driven to continue, all for the wrong reasons, by pressure and expectations, by deadlines and the fear of falling behind.

my back aches from having sat hunchbacked over textbooks and a notebook for the last ten or so hours, the only breaks i took were for lunch and dinner. there’s a red, sore dent on my fourth finger of my right hand, the same hand that has been struggling to present a consistent ‘neat’ handwriting for the last few years. the dent is the only calloused part on my hand. i wonder when it’ll give in.

i don’t think i’m the only one who goes through this. studyblrs everywhere, putting the best version of them on show, the productive side of them, the motivated side. classmates, students, getting excited over a good grade, sending snapchats of them studying. but does anybody come out to speak about when they hit a mental wall?

everybody feels the need to show that they are perfect, to show that they have absolutely zero problems. somehow, in this world where we all are sure to face problems of our own, it’s almost taboo to reveal them.

but i’m telling you, it’s okay.

this is the raw me.

i am tired of having to always show the best side of me.

i am a studyblr, i am a student, and i am tired of studying. 


people who know a song before it gets popular