No-place-to-hide

To recap:

  • King Kong is real and a Nephilim, and also Hanuman
  • The Earth is flat and Skull Island is a real place that exists off the edge of the map the illuminati are hiding from us
  • The Illuminati are also promoting paganism through Hollywood to get us to accept the return of the Nephilim and worship the Beast during the end of days
  • a bunch of other stuff

mollyscribbles  asked:

okay but what kind of stuff could we even get Minion? we need to brainstorm for his birthday party. I recall some fics that had him have a large tank Megamind built for when he feels like stretching his fins instead of going around in the suit, and he could have plants and sand and cool rocks and stuff in there, maybe a waterproof flatscreen or bubbling treasure chest, whatever he prefers. and now I'm on a pet supply website trying to decide what Minion might prefer for decor.

MINION NEEDS ALL THE THINGS.

He needs a waterproof ipod to listen to all his favorite crazy jams. He needs a full paid vacation to wherever in the world he wants to go to. 

AND YES. HE NEEDS A NEW CASTLE FISH THANK THAT IS HUGE. With lots of good places to hide and access to Food Network and HGTV.

More aprons AND A BRAND NEW WASHING MACHINE AND DRYER. 

Also, a wage? Does minon even get paid? Minion deserves much compensation. 

but i think he’d be over the moon with a bubbling treasure chest and a flatscreen. and good tunes. 

ALSO CONCERT TICKETS TO ALL HIS FAVORITE SHOWS. CAN YOU SEE MINON IN A MOSH PIT? BECAUSE I CAN.

i just have a lot of minion feels today lmao he’s just an amazing fish. 

(also let’s get him some premium fish flakes. i’m sure they sell organic ones that are all awesome now)

anonymous asked:

hi do you know any works with irene adler as the protagonist but does not have any romantic relation towards holmes?

Hi! this is what I found, I’ve read just the first one, so I hope there’s something you like here:

A Matter of Integrity by mainecoon76, 3k, General, POV Irene Adler: It is a curious thing when a celebrity whom you’ve never truly met is widely considered your most prominent suitor. Irene Norton sets out in search of some answers, and discovers that sometimes the truth is a delicate matter.

Tin Box Toast by mistyzeo, ficlet, General: about the places to hide certain photograph.

The Ballad of Giselle by Lilithisbitter, 1k, Mature: Irene Norton looks back on her life, her affair with the King of Bohemia, everything before and after, and how one special man saved her life. No, not Sherlock, Godfrey Norton, the most awesome guy in the universe. Bring tissues, you’ll need them.

Epithalamium by Violsva, 1k, Explicit, POV Godfrey Norton: My wife showed up in my office the evening after we were married, and told me we’d better leave the country at once. It was not for a typical honeymoon.

The Lady the Epilogue by Violsva, ficlet, General: Holmes and Watson receive an invitation to the Opera.

anonymous asked:

▼★ - For Lex, Axel and Tailtio

▼ - childhood headcanon
Lex - He was one of those kids who was always a bit bigger compared to those his age, and puberty only had him bulk-up further.
Azel - He was always the runt around kids his age, but his smaller size meant he was able to squeeze into more hiding places.
Tiltyu - She was a barely-contained ball of energy as a kid, great at playing outside but couldn’t sit still for lessons.

★ - sad headcanon
Lex - His blue hair came from his mother’s side of the family, but Langbart always made snide comments of his he couldn’t be his trueborn son.
Azel - After graduating from Barharra Academy he became so nervous over formally attending court that he took ill. When the invitations stopped, he felt both relieved and disappointed in himself.
Tiltyu - Compared to her brother Blume’s skill with magic and sister Ethnia’s lauded demure-ness, she was often considered the troublemaker and her parents had low expectations. Claude was the first tutor she had that didn’t assume that she was slow-witted.

for the meme

3

• Letterboxing at Dartmoor •

The Dartmoor equivalent of message in a bottle.

At first we spotted what looked to be a lunchbox underneath one of the Tors, so curiosity spurred us to go and take a peek. Inside was a notebook, some ink stamps, and pens.

We scoured the pages and read the notes inside. People from all over were describing their purpose for being on the moors, names, ages and origin. It was wonderful!
These illustrations were my favourite.
We added our own little story and returned the box to its hiding place.
After we spotted one we started to notice several; it was like an impromptu treasure hunt!

The tradition began in 1854 (so the Internet tells me) by a man named James Perrott. Check it out, maybe you could start something similar near to where you live, it’s a lovely idea.

Mird and the Dildos

[Context: Mird, our Elven Cleric, is back in his hometown. There is a vendor and while our Rogue Elf Tadris and Assassin Dragonborn Jackson go around looking for weapons and bothering the wildlife, he jumps on the chance of getting weapons.]

Mird: I buy 3 DILDOS!
Everyone else: WHAT?
DM: That’s fair. 40 gold pieces.
Mird: Good.
DM: All of the dildos are neon pink, and you clutch them like your life depends on it. The merchant seems content with his money and leaves.
Mird: I put them in my inner pockets.
DM: You shove all three dildos in your ass.
Tadris, OOC: [LAUGHING]
Mird, OOC: NO!
DM, OOC: ALL OF THEM!
Mird, OOC: NO, IN MY CLOAK!
DM: ROLL FOR MOVEMENT!
Tadris, OOC: Don’t miss your pockets!
Mird: 18!
DM: He puts them in his pockets.
Tadris, OOC: Awww.
Jackson, OOC: I have nothing to do with this.

Thirteen Kinds of Despair by Lemony Snicket

You may be interested to know that I have categorized thirteen kinds of despair, listed here for your convenience… and arranged by time-of-day, so with planning you may experience all thirteen despairs in a single twenty-four hour period.

The first kind of despair is the suspicion that there is no safe territory outside the warm confines of one’s bedclothes.

The second kind of despair is the sense that even the most elegant of breakfasts is fragile resistance to the oncoming day.

The third kind of despair is finding life as shifty and indiscernible as the Rorschach of crumbs on your plate.

The fourth kind of despair is when the tea is so hot you must leave it alone until it is far too cold.

The fifth kind of despair is the knowledge that with the sun overhead, your shadow has vanished and there is no place to hide.

The sixth kind of despair is when you realize you must close the book you are reading and reluctantly participate in something or other.

The seventh kind of despair is that the sun has set on another day and so little has been done.

The eighth kind of despair is burning dinner in the oven.

The ninth kind of despair is the realization that a bad dinner still creates dirty dishes.

The tenth kind of despair is the presentiment that a darkening sky brings darkening times.

The eleventh kind of despair is the inkling that an evening should have been better spent but that it is almost bedtime.

The twelfth kind of despair is the knowledge that countless others are sleepless with you.

The thirteenth kind of despair occurs at every moment, waking or sleeping, and surely this needs no explanation.

8

#magnus bane #looking after the downworld #keeping circle members out of his club #telling warlocks to go into hiding #providing a safe place from valentine #helping them move on after the circle attacks #providing wards for the shadowhunters #making potions #helping the vampires by sending camille to idris #controlling unruly warlocks in his territory  #the high warlock of brooklyn

so I will stand by your side and we will face whatever is coming for you together

i take a deep breath and swallow it down,
only to release it into the sky,
is it alright to believe that anyone can find happiness?
…even me?

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness