stranger than all my dreams, chapter four.

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The end of the weekend brought the return of the rest of the foxes, and with that came a whole new set of people to introduce Drew and Nathaniel to. Of course, Renee and Nicky had already met them, but Aaron was still dreading having to deal with it.

He helped Andrew to turn around his shirt, since he had been putting it on the wrong way around, and then helped him to put his arms through the holes. On the other side of the room, Neil was lacing up his own shoes, after assuring Aaron that he would be able to do it on his own. That remained to be seen, but Aaron was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Guys, there are going to be some people coming over today.” He moved to get Andrew’s sneakers, letting them put them on himself before lacing them quickly. “They’re going to want to talk to you, they’re friends with Renee, Nicky and I.”

Andrew, who had looked bored until the mention of Renee, frowned at him. “I do not want to talk to people.”

Aaron chuckled. “I know, Drew, it’ll just be for a while okay? Then we can get rid of them.”

Neil was ready by the time Andrew was, and they both went out to the kitchen and climbed their way onto the stools by the counter. Aaron got them bowls and poured them both cereal, chocolate flavoured for Andrew and wholemeal for Neil. Then, he gave them both spoons, and poured milk into both bowls. “All of it, or no snacks until dinner.”

God, he was turning into such a dad.

He kind of liked it.

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the foxes as popular text posts #1

neil josten: i hate that my first reaction to stress is always Time To Die™ like ok calm down edgelord.

andrew minyard: they call me… 7 Knives. because that’s how many knives it takes me to cook things because I keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it

kevin day: me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,

nicky hemmick: *walks up to straight couple* which one of you is the bee and which one of you is the fully grown adult woman who left her fiance for the bee?

matt boyd: *begins breakdancing gently* what’s wrong, son

dan wilds: listen, I’m a nice person so if I’m a bitch to you, you need to ask yourself why.

renee walker: it’s all fun and games until you remember the person you were from 2007-2010.

allison reynolds: how to kiss a boy: 1. grab his waist, 2. slip your hand in his pocket, 3. steal his wallet, 4. dont even kiss him, 5. just run.

aaron minyard: Why are there 2 A’s in Aaron? Why not 6? What’s stopping us?

david wymack: you gotta put your heart into it! no. no, not literally– not your actual– no. how did you even manage to get that. is it even yours. put that. away.

betsy dobson: [at a session with neil, about andrew] It’s weird to think that people who are 5ft are only 5 subways long.

abby winfield: always practice safe sex!! until you have mastered it. then you are permitted to practice Danger Sex

  • Neil: [taps racket]
  • Andrew: [taps racket in response]
  • Nicky: Stop that.
  • Neil: Stop what?
  • Nicky: You’re talking about me in morse code.
  • Andrew: Yes, that’s what we’re doing. In our very limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.
  • [later]
  • Andrew, to Renee: That's exactly what we did.

I cannot stop thinking about @local-astronaut‘s a look into Matt’s phone post and the “we love neil” chat gave me ideas.

  • Renee adds Andrew to the chat
  • Andrew doesn’t ever respond, but doesn’t block them or ask to leave the chat either
  • He just straight up doesn’t acknowledge the chat
  • Everyone in it assumes Andrew is just ignoring them in the chat and carries on, pretty much forgetting he’s even in it
  • At one point they decide to have a competition to see who can get the cutest picture of Neil
  • They give it a week and whoever sends the cutest picture by the end of Thursday gets 10 bucks each from the others
  • Andrew of course doesn’t acknowledge that, just like he doesn’t acknowledge anything else they send him
  • But he watches the pictures coming in even more than usual all week
  • The one of Neil smiling after Matt called him one of his best friends
  • The selfie Dan took of her hugging Neil with their cheeks smushed together
  • The one Allison secretly took from the back of Matt’s truck of Neil staring dreamily at Andrew while he’s sitting on the trunk of his car smoking
  • The one Renee takes of him sitting between Dan and Matt on the couch in the girls’ room, all wrapped in a blanket
  • The one Nicky sends of Neil standing in the kitchen, yawning and stretching, two minutes after getting up
  • The one Dan sends of Matt standing behind Neil, grinning as he slouches with his forearms resting across Neil’s shoulders while Neil scowls at the camera
  • The one Allison takes of Neil looking super confused after she purposely referenced a movie he hasn’t even heard of
  • Late Thursday they’re all arguing over which picture is cutest and asking how they’re supposed to pick a winner and questioning if there was any way they could convince Andrew to judge or if they should all just have to vote for one that isn’t theirs to be cutest and see what wins that way
  • Andrew sends a message to the group chat for the first time ever at 11:59 pm on Thursday
  • It’s a picture of Neil being so cute that it physically pains Andrew and he 500% wants to kill him for daring to make him feel like this
  • Neil’s curled up in the fetal position asleep cradled in one of the bean bag chairs and his hair is sticking out in every fucking direction and his arm’s reaching out so that he’s still holding Andrew’s hand in his sleep and there’s the faintest hint of a smile on his lips
  •  Neil’s curled up facing where his and Andrew’s hand are intertwined, resting on the edge of the beanbag chair, because he definitely fell asleep staring at Andrew so that he wouldn’t miss one extra second of Andrew’s beautiful face
  • With the picture Andrew sends “I win, fuckers.”
  • None of them argue and Andrew doesn’t respond to the group chat again, but they know he’s watching it
  • Neil looks super confused when the next morning at practice Matt, Dan, Renee, Allison, and Nicky each cough up ten bucks to Andrew without even being asked
the foxes as popular text posts #3

neil josten: took a DNA test and found out I’m 100% back on my bullshit

andrew minyard: people always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. two sentences in and everyone’s already shouting “what the fuck that’s illegal” or “you can’t do that” let me talk dear god

kevin day: mid life crisis ? no no, mid DAY crisis, happens every day

nicky hemmick: if u can’t handle me at my worst, u don’t deserve me at my longest yeah boi ever

matt boyd: my tombstones gonna say “ripped in peace” as i flex forever in my tiny coffin

dan wilds: Girls aren’t playing hard to get…they don’t want you.

allison reynolds: the bible says adam and eve so I did both

renee walker: sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful

aaron minyard: do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut the fuck up even when they aren’t talking

david wymack: im adopting everyone im tired of seeing people suffer bad experiences due to their shitty parents. i am your dad now

betsy dobson: pick your battles. pick… pick fewer battles than that. put some battles back. that’s too many

abby winfield: my transformation into a bitter angry old woman is almost complete

+ BONUS

jeremy knox: i told a lady i really liked ghosts and she said “are you being serious or are you just saying that in case one is listening”

jean moreau: je suis sick of this shit

sara alvarez: my body is 80% respect women juice, the other 20% is im gay juice

laila dermott: people with the same name as me are cute but they need to remember who is in charge

erik klose: gayer than intended: an autobiography

riko moriyama: i identify as an inconvenience to the world

listen

I CANNOT be the only one who is truly in love with Andrew Joseph Minyard’s canon height. Like it really does just make everything he does that much more impressive. Here let me give you some examples:

•During one of the games, 6'5 starting backliner Matt Boyd hid behind 5 foot even Andrew Minyard when being chased by a character only referred to as Gorilla.

•Without even pulling out his knives, all Andrew had to do was stand between Matt and Kevin to get Matt to back off.

• 5ft BABY Andrew nearly kills 4 grown men when they attacked Nicky outside of the club??? Not just A man. FOUR. MEN.

• despite his height he still manages to take his short legs clear across the field at record breaking pace to break Riko’s arm before he can decapitate Neil. A+, Minyard.

•ALSO let’s just take into account that exy racquets are customized to the height and arm length of the holder SO while Andrews net is bigger the length of the stick is short MEANING when Andrew blocked The Impossible Goal™ in the bottom corner he had to be moving quicker than a fucking bat out of hell.

•despite being called a “midget with an attitude problem” no one fucks with Neil or his hubby bc they know better…

“When I leave you wanna keep *hand motions* doin dis. But den when I come around you don’t wanna POST UP.”

•Also Andrew is canonically 3 inches shorter than Neil so Neil actually has to bend down to kiss his boyfriend OR (bear with me) Andrew has to stand on his damn tip toes I’m done with this

The first time the team sees Andrew and Neil kiss is in the airport when Neil is about to leave to go see Uncle Stuart.

  • No one trusts Neil to actually go visit Uncle Stuart
  • So the whole team (including Wymack and Abby) goes to the airport with him to make sure he actually gets on the plane he says he is going to get on this time
  • Even Aaron shows up in time to come along, although he doesn’t say a word to Neil and mostly looks completely uninterested in anything to do with Neil
  • But he does glance to check that Neil is actually headed for the right plane
  • Andrew meant to get Neil alone to say his goodbyes before Neil left, but that did not work out
  • From the moment they woke up to the moment Neil has to leave them at the airport, they do not get a single second alone together
  • They wake up to a big breakfast Nicky made specifically for Neil
  • And by the time they’ve eaten, the upperclassmen are streaming into the room while Neil is still getting ready
  • Their room is so full and the upperclassmen are looking around at the monsters’ dorm room and chattering away at Neil
  • Dan makes Neil promise to call and check in every night
  • Matt insists that if anything goes even remotely wrong or if Neil needs anything, that Neil should call him right away
  • Allison tells him, “Try and come back looking like you weren’t on the wrong end of a meat tenderizer this time.”
  • Renee wishes Neil luck on his trip and says how they’ll all miss him
  • She also keeps an eye on Andrew who is standing back from everyone else

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