New-Graduate

Support women in STEM

Because they’ve advanced the success and growth of those fields for just as long as men, even when they weren’t afforded the opportunity, the recognition, or the grants. Onward:

Rosalind Franklin (July 25, 1920—April 16, 1958)

Originally posted by bhagatkapil

Rosalind Franklin was a chemist and, get this, X-ray crystallographer. As far as titles go, you can’t do much better than crystallographer. Her work in understanding the molecular structure of DNA laid the foundation for the discovery of the double helix. She also made significant contributions to understanding the structures of RNAs. And viruses. And coal. And graphite. Her work was not fully appreciated until after she passed away. Two teams of all-male scientists who used her work to discover great things later went on to win Nobel Prizes.

Rebecca Lee Crumpler (February 8, 1831—March 9, 1895)

Originally posted by pylonss

Rebecca Lee Crumpler spent most of her professional life being the first at things. She was the very first Black woman to become a physician in the United States. The first (and only) Black woman to graduate from New England Female Medical College. She authored Book of Medical Discourses, one of the very first medical books written by a Black person. Every obstacle she powered through was done in an effort to provide care for other people. Hero. 

Mary Anning (May 21, 1799—March 9, 1847)

Originally posted by rejectedprincesses

Mary Anning discovered the first full Ichthyosaur skeleton at 11,  the very first Plesiosaur at 22, and then opened up her own fossil store front a few years later. We repeat: She opened up her own fossil store. We could go on and on, but Rejected Princesses (@rejectedprincesses​) already did it best in this biographical comic. While you’re over there, check out their whole archive and the dozens and dozens of women’s life stories within.

Follow these too:

  • She Thought It: Crossing Bodies in Sciences and Arts (@shethoughtit​​) is a database dedicated to shedding light on women making strides in both science and the arts. A whole bunch of great things.
  • Lady Scientists of Tumblr (@scientific-women​​) promises everything you could ever want from a feminist science round-up blog: intersectionality and equal representation of all scientists who identify as female. Hell yeah.
  • Math Brain (@ihaveamathbrain​​) backs the novel idea that women are indeed capable of understanding math. Shocking. With the perfect amount of sarcasm, they tackle the idea some bozos have that women just don’t have the mind for mathematics.

anonymous asked:

Hi Dr. Ferox. I'm a new grad, and I'm in a bit of a pickle: dog speys scare the absolute pants off me. I got so paralyzed with fear during a recent one that a senior colleague had to come finish for me. I do fine right up until I try to break the ligament, and I get so scared of tearing a vessel that I just freeze. Do you have any tips for getting over a surgery fear? I can handle castrates and cat speys fine, it's just dogs that freak me out.

Good news! Being scared of dog spays is perfectly normal! If you’re not a bit scared you’re not paying attention.

It’s also pretty common for most of us to get bailed out of a surgery by a senior colleague at least once. That’s what that new graduate phase is for, for having your hand held that bit longer after graduation so you can gain experience. I wouldn’t worry about that either.

To be honest, I sometimes don’t break the ovarian ligament, because I get nervous about tearing the pedicle too. Sometimes I just stretch it until I’ve got enough room for my clamps, if I don’t need to break it then I just don’t.

Dog spays do get easier with time, and feeling a bit worried is normal, but worrying so much that you’re paralyzed with anxiety is not a useful thought pattern.

You’re always going to be thinking about what might go wrong during a surgery, that’s part of our job. We do it so that we can take precautions and prevent them. That’s the purpose of your worry. It’s there to make you prepared for a worst case scenario.

And you can be prepared. You have been trained in what to do if you drop a pedicle. You open that puppy up and you find it. That’s easy for me to say, but it does get easier after you’ve done it once or twice.

I would acknowledge the fear. Recognize that it’s there to make you prepared, not to make you freeze, and if it is no longer being a useful emotion, try to let it go. Consider your worst case scenario, make your plan to address that if it happens, and then go ahead with the surgery. It gets easier with practice, and it gets easier with the knowledge that you can fix it if a pedicle drops. Unfortunately, sometimes that has to happen before you learn that you can handle yourself in an emergency.

It’s officially been a year since I graduated from college as a chemical engineer and yet I haven’t done all the things that I thought I would have. That is exactly how life works, you think that finding a job won’t be hard, you’ll be a working professional in a big shot company just because you are an engineer, you think everything will be provided to you easily but all those things don’t happen. They don’t happen because they are not meant to happen, if getting a degree required years of work and effort then why will anything afterwards to be any different. I’m saying this in the most optimistic and positive way for people just graduating, know everything takes time. Getting your degree took time then why won’t finding a job a take time. Yes, some majors are more challenging than others and they end up paying more but you won’t find that dream job on day 1️⃣ And you won’t be where you had planned in the next year and that it is completely OK to be in that position. You’re not alone and you won’t be stuck here forever either😌 On that note, congrats to all the new graduates 🎓

Hi, thanks for your amazing blog. I recall you worked with newly graduated vets? Was that very exhausting or did you enjoy the many questions? I started working half a year ago and my colleagues never complained, but I still have so many questions and I have so many firsts that I want/have to share with someone who knows that situation/pet/owner. I try of course not to ask the same question twice and write a lot down (but sometimes it happens) and I listen to their stories too but I always feel a little guilty for sharing my insecurities/emotions ‘cause I know they have a lot of stress already, if that makes sense? And I have that weird doubt that my bosses one day might decide that I’m not cut out for that job and that they’ll have to fire me - and I’m pretty sure they have the opposite fear that I’ll decide I don’t want to stay and quit the job and I know it’s all so irrational, but my mind doesn’t care. And I talked about this with my friends and I know you can’t really help me too but thanks for being a place where I can sort my thoughts out, I guess just “putting” them somewhere might help already. Have a nice weekend!

I’ve worked with several new graduates, the precious little beans, and my current one sounds a lot like you with some of her concerns. This is what I told her:

A new graduate who doesn’t ask questions is like a puppy that’s gone suspiciously quiet.

The only new graduate vet I’ve ever had any trouble with was one that didn’t ask questions, would say everything was fine but never checked, and was too embarrassed to ask the question again if she forgot the answer.

Part of the deal when taking on a new grad vet is that you expect lots of questions and a bit of hand holding, especially when it comes to actually handling people.

Don’t worry about asking questions. If you’re in a good place to work then it wont be a problem, and it’s always better to ask than to make a mistake. You might have graduated, but you’re still learning.

anonymous asked:

Fav long fics?!

Since I don’t know exactly what long fics are to you, here’s a list of my fave 50k+ fics in no particular order :)

Kaleidoscope by Vendelin [E, 54k]

Stiles spends a year before college working at the all-night coffee shop in town. It’s nice and quiet, until one dark and brooding Derek starts coming in every morning, ordering coffee so strong that it should not be fit for human consumption. Ever. Stiles tries not to be affected by the mystery guy, but it’s not like anything else happens around here, so really, what did you expect? And when he’s already in too deep, he realises he might even be in way over his head…

Safety in Silence by Survivah [M, 66k]

It’s perfectly understandable. Even Derek wouldn’t want to be Derek’s soulmate.

Easy Trouble by Survivah [M, 55k]

Derek+Stiles+fairies = love spell

“Make love to me,” Derek demands.

What.

The Boy and the Beast by Dira Sudis (dsudis) [M, 116k]

In which events in Beacon Hills go rather differently from the start, and a Beauty and the Beast (ish) story ensues. (Scott is not a teacup and no one sings about their feelings.)  

Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by DevilDoll, Rahciach [E, 76k]

“Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf.” An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

Keep reading

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That’s awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee in the car! - Do something! - I’m driving! - Hi, bee. - He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. - You’re talking. - Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I’m talking with a bee. - Yeah. I’m talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up. - That’s very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something? - Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. Ooffee? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It’s just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don’t be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Oome on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It’s like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I’ll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t. - How’d you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. - Her name’s Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We’re still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. - Where are you going? - I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! It’s just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Oarl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours. - Bees hang tight. - We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. “They make the honey, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble. - And I’m Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’ll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson… you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. Honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn’t hear you. - No. - No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you’ve never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. - What’s that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You’re bluffing. - Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren’t your real parents! - Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? He’s denouncing bees! Don’t y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I’m going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery’s right? - What do you mean? We’ve been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan’t breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We’re shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. Honey really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn’t think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I’ll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I’m in a real situation. - What’d you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who’s that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We’re headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That’s Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a bee on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.” - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. - What? - I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.Can we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that
—  The Bee Movie

***Can you believe we have to go through a 3 month hiatus until we get new episodes again? What to do on Mondays from now on? Well, I know it is not the same but how about reading some amazing Malec fics? Because there simply can’t be enough Malec love out there and somehow it makes the wait to see these two back on our screens a bit more bearable if you ask me.

Anyway, I hope you gonna enjoy this 4th edition as much as the previous ones. Again, a huge thank you to everyone who left notes and/or told me how much they enjoyed these recs. It’s very much appreciated, so yes, if you want me to continue doing this, let me know, okay? Have fun reading!***


KISS WITH A FIST by @clockworkswans [ M | AU | 225k | WIP | Kiss With A Fist universe #1 ]

When agent Alec Lightwood is given his first kill hit, he doesn’t expect much trouble. Of course, he also doesn’t expect it to be a cheerful assassin who lands him in a whole load of trouble.
Enter Magnus Bane: an assassin turned thief who reluctantly teams up with Alec - and The Clave - after he pisses off a very important and powerful crime boss, Valentine Morgenstern.
In a world of violence and unjust laws, can the two put aside their differences and work together?
Aka: in which Alec is sent to kill Magnus, doesn’t, and then really wishes he had. (but not really).


WILD LIFE by @crazyellephantrambles [ not rated | AU | 69k | complete ]

Alec Lightwood likes to go on road trips. He doesn’t pick up hitchhikers. But the one time he does, it’s Magnus. He’s in for an adventure or maybe even fall in love.


ANYTHING by @baneismyexistence [ M | 36.2k | complete | Anything verse #1 ]

Magnus would do anything for Alec, and Alec doesn’t know what to do with that.


EVERYTHING by @baneismyexistence [ M | 70k | complete | Anything verse #2 ]

With Valentine still at large, a crisis threatens to split the Shadow World in two, testing the loyalties of everyone on both sides of the line. But choosing between duty and honor, family and love is never easy, especially when war is on the horizon.


AND YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MINE TOO by @magicandarchery [ E | AU | 10.4k | WIP ]

New graduates and best friends Magnus and Alec have both graduated from the University of Idris with top honors. Graduation and family expectations, however, carved out two very different paths for their lives.

Making the age-old promise on graduation night to get married if they were still single by thirty had been an easy agreement to make. There was no chance it would, or even could, ever possibly happen. It simply wasn’t legal.

When Magnus coincidentally re-enters Alec’s life eight years later, each are confronted with the unsettled reality of their lives, and the rekindling of long-buried feelings for the other. They decide to reinstate the promise they had made as motivation to get back into the dating scene.

But can they push aside their own feelings for each other as they go on this journey of finding true love?

Or: the “Single by 30” Malec AU that nobody asked for.


STAR WARS: A SEARCH FOR JUSTICE by @sweetillusionketz [ M | AU | 9.8k | WIP ]

After the MORTAL WAR that wiped out the JEDI ORDER and the reconstruction of THE CLAVE to govern the galaxy, military force, THE CIRCLE, has been monitoring planets for any trace of remaining intergalactic terrorism and obliterating possible threats under the name of peace. Each strike leaves death and destruction behind.

Former Senator, General Luke Garroway, leads the DOWNWORLDER RESISTANCE, a counterpoint to the Circle, in hope of finding enough evidence of abuse of power to dismantle the organisation and restore real peace and justice to the galaxy.

In order to do so, Luke has sent Izzy Lightwood, his most daring pilot, and the mysterious Magnus Bane to search for survivors of the last attack…


FANTASY by @theonetruenorth [ E | PWP | 3.5k | complete | Shadowhunters Headcanons #20 ]

“Mhmm,” Magnus hummed as they broke apart and he rocked his hips minutely, the slight movement enough to make them both shiver. “This is getting dangerously close to one of my fantasies, so maybe we should stop, if you don’t want this to go any further.”

“What fantasy?” Alec murmured, craning his neck up again to brush his lips against Magnus’ but the warlock teasingly moved just out of reach.

“Well,” Magnus started, looking at Alec through half-closed eyes and with a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, “I have never had sex inside the Institute.”


BLUE EXTRAVAGANCE by Hobbit69 [ E | AU | 27.8k | complete | Blue Steel Series #5 ]

When Detective Alexander Lightwood-Bane is called to the site of a bizarre murder, he doesn’t expect to recognize the victim, but that’s exactly what happens. Alec met the wealthy entrepreneur at an event with his husband, the flamboyant and enormously wealthy Magnus Lightwood-Bane. When a second victim is found, Alec and his partner, Jace Herondale, realize that their killer has a “type.” Unfortunately, Magnus just so happens to fit that type.


IT’S TIME TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY, BROTHER DEAREST by @themagnusbane [ E | AU | 83.4k | complete ]

Magnus Bane is a famous stripper, used to pretty boys falling in love with him after one dance. The feeling is hardly ever mutual. But when he meets the freshly turned twenty-one year old Alec lightwood, he can’t take his eyes off him, and they find themselves in love quicker than they expected.


WE CAN SOLVE THIS TOGETHER by @softshumjr [ E | AU | 58.9k | WIP ]

Alec and Magnus have been friends since high school. They both love each other but are afraid to say anything because they believe the other one doesn’t feel the same way and it’ll ruin their friendship.

Alec and Jace are working on an overdose case and are stuck. Can Magnus be the one to help them solve the case?


UNKISS ME by @sweetillusionketz [ G | AU | 11.3k | complete ]

Magnus Bane loved New York. I mean, what other city in the world held Christmas raves?

He especially loved it when he managed to convince Ragnor and Catarina to join him. Spending time with your chosen family during the holidays was the best thing in the world.

The only thing that could make it even better, however, would be getting to know that very attractive stranger that just wouldn’t take his eyes off Magnus. Tall, dark and handsome was just what Magnus wanted to end his amazing night.

All he needed was an opportunity and it came, in the form of a well-placed mistletoe.


MERRY CHRISTMAS, DOCTOR LIGHTWOOD by @softdaddario [ T | AU | 3.1k | complete ]

Magnus Bane agreed to volunteer at a children’s hospital on Christmas Eve, wanting to help make sure the kids got the most wonderful evening. Turned out the kids weren’t the only one who were gonna have a merry Christmas, Magnus realised when he met the young Doctor Lightwood during his time at the hospital.


MERRY CHRISTMAS, ALEXANDER by @slaymemakoto [ E | PWP | 1.8k | complete ]

A one shot in which Alec gets the living daylights fucked out of him and Magnus is sure that everyone in the building is aware of exactly what Christmas Eve activities the pair are indulging in.


JUST WHAT I NEED by @alyxhavok [ T | 3.6k | complete ]

Magnus has a surprise for Alec, and the rest of his family…


YOU PROTECTED ME by @everydayisonfire [ E | PWP | 3k | complete ]

Post Winter-finale.
Inspired by this:

“anyways magnus totally had alec’s omamori with him that’s how he managed to be safe”


IT’S CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT, AND SOMETHING EVIL’S LURKING IN THE DARK by @lightwoodlesbians [ G | AU | 1.8k | complete ]

or, the ’i sneaked into this huge house party for some free alcohol but you asked me how i knew the host and the first excuse i could think of was that i’m dating their sibling, so i basically just lied to you about going out with you’ au


LET’S PLAY by @laurenkmyers [ E | 2.5k | complete ]

Malec’s first date gets sexy. Expect semi-public pool table sex.


IF YOU CAN’T FIND THE ONE BEING HUSTLED IN THE POOL HALL… by @quitemagicalbane [ G | 328 | complete ]

“Make the shot then.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Okay, so make it.”


THUNDER’S GETTING LOUDER by @spanglepup [ E | 6.4k | complete | The Boundless Saga #3 ]

For once in his life, Alec decides to take something for himself. He forgets that everything comes with a cost.


THE IMPORTANCE OF PANCAKES by @lecrit [ T | 2.2k | complete ]

Based on the prompt: “I would like a cute Alec and Magnus day in where they cuddle and talk a bit about the future and a second scene where it’s the future and they have their two sons”


WAKE ME GENTLY by @ithilien-writes [ E | 1.7k | complete ]

Magnus rarely (if ever) wakes before Alec, but this time he has… intentions.


FIRST TIME ALEC TOPS by @theonetruenorth [ E | 1.9k | complete | Shadowhunters Headcanons #9 ]

Somehow, they end up with Alec flat on his back and Magnus straddling him, his hands cradling Alec’s jaw while his tongue explores the nephilim’s mouth. It’s a slow, lazy, and unhurried kiss. The kind of kiss that says ‘there isn’t anywhere else I would rather be right now’ and ‘I want to explore every inch of your body’ and ‘I love you’.


CHAIN YOU UP by WholockedHunter [ E | 3.6k | complete ]

Magnus and Alec are having some kinky sex …


CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU by @deepbutdazzlingdarkness [ E | PWP | 2.1k | complete | The Thirst Is Real #3 ]

If Magnus were more alert, he probably would’ve recognized the obvious signs of someone being in the loft: the boots by the front door, the leather jacket laying on the couch, the empty wine glass sitting on his drink cart, but as it is, he doesn’t notice anything off until he’s standing right in front of his bedroom door and realizes the light is on.


I NEED YOU SO MUCH CLOSER by @deepbutdazzlingdarkness [ E | 5.2k | complete | The Thirst Is Real #4 ]

Work has been keeping Alec and Magnus apart for a couple of weeks and once they finally see each other again, Alec can barely control himself.

AKA the first time they have sex at the Institute. Also the first time they say “I love you”.


DANCE IN THE DARK by @deepbutdazzlingdarkness [ E | 2.7k | complete | The Thirst Is Real #5 ]

After a particularly hard day at work, Magnus helps Alec relieve some tension.


NO PLACE FOR A HERO by @one100suns [ M | 20.4k | complete | Battle Scars #3 ]

For Magnus and Alec, navigating their relationship is hard enough without outside forces trying to tear them a part. Quite literally in some cases.


PRESSED UP AGAINST YOU, EVERYTHING IS OKAY by @matsdaddario [ E | 3.6k | complete | Lovely Firsts #2 ]

It’s new, this feeling like even though everything is falling apart that this part of his world makes sense. He likes it, wants to keep it.

“Hi,” he breathes. Magnus stands in front of him, and Alec can’t help himself, doesn’t want to stop himself, from leaning down that little bit to capture Magnus’s mouth with his own.


I SEE FIRE by @lecrit [ M | AU | 12.1k | complete ]

There was one simple and unique rule about being friends with Magnus and Alec: never, ever, no matter the circumstances, not even if you were drunk as an armada of skunks, engage into a debate about pop culture with either of them, and especially not the both of them.


TRUST ME by @sweetillusionketz [ T | AU | 18.5k | complete ]

Magnus Bane has a problem with that arrogant brat that keeps showing his face to every important street race in the city. Damn Jace Lightwood and his annoying habit of winning even though he’s just a stupid high school boy. That’s insulting.

Fuck Jace. But more importantly, fuck his sweet looking older brother, who just happen to not have the slightest idea of who Magnus is. If everything goes according to plan, Magnus will have put Jace back to his insignificant place and gotten lucky with a gorgeous oblivious guy.

Perfect plan is perfect. Nothing could go wrong.

Reggie x Reader: Fingers and thumbs, baby. (Epilogue)

A/N: SIKE BITCHEEEES. Y’ALL REALLY THINK I’D LEAVE IT LIKE THAT!? HELL NAH YOUR MOTHER HAS RETURNED TO PROVIDE LOVE YA XXX

Plot: When Reggie and (Y/N) have been bestfriends their whole lives but the universe had other plans.

Originally posted by ivanxna

Samantha stole another glance at the tall, gorgeous boy that seemed so keen on listening to everything that was coming out of their boring professor’s mouth. He was popular and friendly but still somehow remained a mystery, always kept to himself. Everybody was practically in love with him because aside from his well-built physique, friendly nature, and willingness to help those who need it he had this certain aura of vagueness around him which seemed to drag everyone in, makes them want to unlock more. As if there is so much more to be discovered aside from the glimpses of personalities he shows the world but nobody ever had the chance to be that close. Everybody knew him but at the same time nobody actually did.

When their professor finally ended his discussion Samantha stood up, ready to take the first step to become the first person to have the honor of actually knowing Reggie Mantle.

Or so she thought.

“H-Hey, Reggie?”

He looked at her before gracing her with a smile, making her heart beat twice as fast. “Hey, Samantha,” He adjusted his gym bag on his shoulders, probably preparing himself for his daily training. “Need anything?”

“Y-Yeah, actually, I was wondering,” she closed her eyes for a second to gather some courage. “Would you – would you like to get some coffee with me? Some time? If you’re not too busy.”

She swallowed as she waited for his response, afraid to look at his face for any sign of rejection. Then she heard a sigh and knew it was game over. She heard the stories, the rumors, how no one stood a chance because:

“Sorry, Sam,” Reggie really sounded sympathetic and she hated it. “I – I have someone –“

“I know.”  Samantha smiled, sadly, successfully cutting him off. She looked up at him despite the pain. “What a lucky girl.” She whispered more to herself than anything but Reggie seemed to hear it.

Reggie smirked before shaking his head. “You got it all mixed up, Sam.” Reggie said. “I’m the one who got lucky.”

He patted her head before walking away.

“W-What’s her name?” Samantha asked. Curious as to who got this beautiful boy’s fancy and got him hooked that he couldn’t even look at another girl ever again. Reggie’s mind immediately went to the memory of your smile, the way you’re hair danced messily in the wind when you were in the passenger seat of his car, the echo of your laugh in his room as you wore his shirt while running your hand across his hair, your beautiful 5 o’clock shadow as you stared outside the windows of Pop’s with the neon lights making you look ethereal and seraphic.

Samantha noticed that Reggie’s mind seemed to disappear to a happy place because he beamed, almost shining with happiness. Another glimpse, she thought, Reggie was really full of surprises and secrets.

“If I tell you, I might have to kill you.”


All the boys stared as Cheryl and (Y/N) walked together, with their arms crossed, talking quietly among themselves. How the meanest and nicest girls of the entire building managed to become bestfriends was beyond them but they would be lying if they say they weren’t a sight to behold. Especially (Y/N), known to be the kindest soul to ever grace their halls, who was always willing to extend a helping hand and always treat everybody with respect. A lot of boys tried to win her heart but none was very successful, in fact not qa single one even came close, because aside from the Red Widow by her side, a nickname she earned because of her careful yet poisonous words and her dedication to guard the little angel of New York University everybody gets the same response from her every time: a kind rejection. The kind of rejection that makes them feel bad for even trying and putting her through the dilemma of even rejecting them.

One poor soul gripped the bouquet of roses in his hands before daring to walk towards their table and try his luck, eyes on the back of (Y/N)’s head. He gave himself a mental pep talk trying not to chicken out but all of those words of inspiration and prayers were obliterated when he caught Cheryl’s eyes.

Cheryl seemed bored and emotionless, head resting on her palm, as she stared at another clueless boy trying to vouch for her bestfriend’s affection. She gave him the smallest glare, which usually meant ‘scram’ or ‘fuck off’, and smirked as she saw him make a 90 degree turn before walking out straight out the library.

“Cherry, stop scaring people.” (Y/N), who apparently wasn’t really focusing on her advanced reading, chuckled. “You’ll never get a boyfriend if you keep that up.”

Cheryl scoffed and flipped her long, almost fiery in this lighting, red hair. “Nobody deserves me, darling, and we both know it.”

“No we don’t,” You stared at her. “You should give them a chance.”

“That’s rich coming from you, sweetie.” Cheryl shot back making you blush. “Why don’t you give those unfortunate souls who are just begging for a glance from the angel of their dreams, a chance?”

You blushed even more. “You—I – You know I’m not into that, Cherry.”

“Uh-huh, yeah, who you tryna fool?” Cheryl smirked, crossing her arms across her chest and leaning back on her chair. “And please, he was carrying roses, how cliché right? The right man would know you’re more of a sunflower girl.” She smirked. “Too bad the right man is in a far far away kingdom.”

You managed to give her a glare despite the heat on your face but she just laughed at your effort in looking mad. You just rolled your eyes, heart beating a little too fast at the memory of him.

“I’m just, such a good friend.” Cheryl dramatically fanned her face, as if she was about to cry, speaking a little too loudly in the library. “That bastard better be fucking grateful and buy me a Victorian-inspired mansion for all my effort in making sure his lil’ lovebird doesn’t get snatched by worthless peasants.”

“Cherry stop,” you whined trying to remove the attention away from the two of you, knowing nobody would have the guts to try and make her quiet but you.

“I’m gonna guilt-trip him his whole life, you just wait.”

“We don’t even know if he is still single.”

“Oh, we know.”

“How? I mean have you seen him? Boy’s like that doesn’t stay single for very long time in college.”

“Because I know him, and that boy is about as gone for you as you are for him,” Cheryl stated confidently. “And if you weren’t sure he is single, why are you still rejecting everybody left and right? Unless …”

“You are crazy.” You shook your head, not wanting to feed yourself any more false hopes. You don’t even know where in God’s green Earth he was staying at right now. You haven’t talked for almost four years now. You could but you decided not to because getting a little taste of that heaven will make you want him and miss him more and you don’t want to be running back to him when you are this close to your goal. That reunion will have to wait, and it seems like he was thinking the same thing, too.

Is he treating himself well?

Is he surrounded by good people?

Is he happy?

Does anything remind him of you? Even for just a second?

“(Y/N),” Cheryl was staring at something in her phone, eyes wide in shock. Whatever it was must be something big to actually surprise Cheryl. Cheryl shoved her phone at you as you read the article about a certain raven-haired boy that just won the Nationals in Indiana. “Point six hundred million for Cheryl. God, I hate being right all the time”

You ignored her as you read how Reggie Mantle, the captain, basically carried the whole game towards their victory with his agility, strategy, and strength. You reread the last paragraph of the article:

Mantle is not only a spectacular athlete but he is also an outstanding student with his top marks which will result to the possibility of him graduating as the top of his class. How he managed to balance his responsibilities, Reggie Mantle gave us an answer that left more questions than answers:

“You could say I have a pretty solid foundation and inspiration.” He said with a grin. “Though she is probably studying hard in New York too.”

Who is this mysterious lady that snatched Reggie Mantle’s heart? The world may never know.


“Hey man,” Reggie returned back to Earth when he heard his roommate, soon to be ex-roommate, in their toga with a big grin on his face. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

Reggie took his hands and gave him a half-hug and a pat on the back. “I’ll see you.”

Jake plopped down on his bed, one last time probably. “Can’t believe you’re going pro, man. That’s big.”

“I know,” Reggie chuckled, picking up a football from the ground. “Even I still can’t believe it.”

“Well, as for me it’s the boring old office work.”

Reggie gave him a look before throwing at him the football which he caught with a lot of effort. “Shut up, Jake, you got a girlfriend who’s smart. She got you.”

Jake smirked. “Yeah she’s still pretty bummed about not getting that journalism job. She really wanted it.”

“I can’t believe someone actually beat Janine. Must be some miracle.” Jake’s girlfriend, Janine, was like a machine when it comes to her studies. So it came as a shock to everyone when she came barging in their room crying about how she did not get accepted to her dream job.

“Yeah, she told me it was taken by some monster that graduated from New York,” Jake chuckled. “Kept whining how the world is unfair cause the said monster was drop dead gorgeous, smart, and is now holding her dream job by the neck on her first try.”

“Wai- wait, back up,” Reggie stood up. “Did … did Janine say what the name of this said New York monster was?”

Jake seemed to think for a second and Reggie was literally on his tiptoes from the suspense. “I forgot man, I guess it was (Y/N) or something? I forgot the last na—“

Jake was cut off by Reggie’s jaw dropping in shock before genuinely laughing. Throughout their four years of being friends Jake has never seen Reggie this happy, even during his championship game. Reggie looked at Jake who was looking at him as if he grew a second head.

“Holy shit! I’m so sorry, man.” Reggie laughed once more, patting his shoulders sympathetically. “In behalf of her, let me apologize.”

“What do you mean?” Jake asked, genuinely confused.

“The New York monster that took the job from your girl?”

“Yeah …”

“That’s my girl.”


You just finished face timing Cheryl that was now living in London for some business transaction and she couldn’t stop bitching about the rain ruining her hair, which, in turn, just gave you something to laugh about.

“Good morning, stranger,” your favorite barista greeted you as you leaned in the counter.

“Hello, outsider,” You greeted her back. “Can I get my regular and a muffin?”

“Oooh muffin, you’re being a rebel today, huh?” she snickered as she handed you your favorite drink and a fresh muffin.

“I like to remain unpredictable.” You said as you handed her the exact amount and placed a twenty on the tip box.

“See you tomorrow, outsider.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

You sighed as the hot drink touch your tongue, fucking heaven. As you were about to go in your car you felt a small tug on your coat. You turned around and saw a cute little kid that had gorgeous curly locks hiding a sunflower behind his back.

“Hey, there little bud.” You leaned down to minimize the distance between you and the kid. “Are you lost?” You looked around you. “Where’s your mum—“

You were cut off when he suddenly shoved you the sunflower in his handsand ran before disappearing right around the corner.

“What the …” You cracked a smile despite your confusion and saw a small card tied around the sunflower with a note that read:

There’s more from where that came from.

“What?”

Just as you were about to look for the little boy a tall figure suddenly appeared from your peripheral view. And just like in your wildest dreams, there he was: standing in front of you, beautiful as ever, holding a bouquet of sunflowers and wearing that smirk that made your stomach flip in the most beautiful way possible ever since you were kids.

“Reggie …”

Before you could utter another word he sped up his last two steps and cradled your face with his free hand for a kiss. A kiss, a kiss that you have imagined over and over again, a kiss that was foreign yet so goddamn familiar from the amount of times you have dreamt and daydreamed about it. A kiss from Reggie Mantle was all it took for your heart to beat the same irregular beats that was reserved only for him.

I took you a moment to recover from the shock but when you did you wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him in deeper. You waited too long for this kiss and you never wanted it to end and he probably had the same thought in mind. But sadly, like everything amazing, it had to, or else you were gonna die from lack of oxygen.

Reggie leaned in your forehead and laughed just as you started to giggle. “I guess you missed me?” you whispered.

“You have no idea, pup.” You started tearing up, not believing that after all these years he was finally here in your arms, looking at you with the same dark eyes and intense gaze that makes you want to melt.

“I’m – “

“I love you.” Reggie made her forget her train of thoughts with those words. “If the kiss didn’t make it clear enough. I, Reggie Mantle, is in love with you and swears to be in love with you in this lifetime and the next.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. Pulling him in for another kiss. “Promise?” You offered him your pinky.

He laughed, crossing both of pinkies and pushed both of your fists and thumbs together.

“Promise.” He gave you another peck. “And, I believe you owe me a date.”

“Oh, do I now?” you teased, giggling when he tried to kiss your neck. “Where would you like to go?”

“I waited for years for this date, pup,” he said letting go of your face as he opted to wrap his arms around your shoulders as you wrapped yours around his waist. He gave you the bouquet which you held with your free hand. “I’ll go wherever the fuck you want.”


Breaking News! After dating for three years and being engaged in one, star football player, Reggie Mantle and his fiancé’ the award winning journalist and published author, (Y/F/N), has officially tied the knot in secret in their hometown, Riverdale, with only a chosen few people present, one note-worthy guest was Mrs. Mantle’s best friend, Cheryl Blossom, the CEO of Blossom Inc.  and world-renowned author of two award-winning novels in her spare time. It was said to be a big event despite the small town in Riverdale as stolen shots were taken of the grand wedding for the official photographs of the wedding was announced to be kept in private and not to be publicized in the request of the couple.

This power-couple had been best friends their whole lives and decided to tie the knot right after Reggie Mantle surprised his, now, wife with her dream house in California where they were rumored to finally settle. The couple is about to head into their 2-month honeymoon that will be spent in different cities around the world that they have planned to visit ever since they were kids.

After you’re done crying and emptying your box of tissue we dare you to find us a more perfect couple, we’ll wait.


(Y/N) was breathing in the fresh air from the morning breeze. She stared at the view from her balcony: the trees, the lake, and the city far, far away. Reggie really thought everything through when he built this house just for her. He built her a home where she is safe, contented, and happy and she could never thank him enough.

She jumped a bit when she felt a fluffy blanket, which turned out to be her robe, being wrapped around her by none other than her husband. Even after a year and a half of being married she still feels giddy thinking about Reggie being her husband. Finally.

“You okay?” Reggie whispered, afraid of breaking this serene moment as he hugged you from behind and gave you a peck on the side of your head.

You decided to face your husband and give him a proper good morning kiss, wrapping your arms on his waist as he wrapped his arms around you. “I feel perfect.” You nuzzled your face on his warm neck relishing on the comfort only he can give you. You looked up at him and saw him looking out at the view before turning his eyes on you making you wonder what you did in your past life to have a man like him to keep forever.

“We’re in love, aren’t we?”

He chuckled at your question before leaning hooking a stray hair in your ear. “I can’t speak for you but you got me pretty hooked, pup.” You looked up at him through your lashes to give him a glare as if to say ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ and Reggie grinned, the same boyish grin from when you were in Riverdale, giving you another kiss

“You don’t have to worry about that for a very, very long time, pup.” Reggie sighed, pulling you closer to him, as if that was possible.”Your heart won’t break around here. I’ll make sure of that.”

You squealed when he leaned down and hooked his arms at the back of your thighs and sat down, taking you in his lap. You watched as the sun rose quietly, sharing the morning coffee you made to help you get ready for the day, small kisses and giggles shared every now and then and in that exact moment you realized you could stay there forever and already find the life that was your definition of perfect

But then on cue you heard the familiar wailing of your two other babies on their bedroom making you giggle and Reggie groan, leaning on your shoulders. “Oh stop it, you were the one who was begging me for a baby.”

“I asked for one baby, pup. Just one, I’m blaming your fertile ass for this.” Reggie complained but was still ahead of you towards his babies room. He loved being a father and everybody knows it. When you were pregnant anxious would be an understatement when defining Reggie as he watched your every move and made sure you were eating only the best to make sure his babies would grow to become ‘as strong as me and as beautiful as their mother’. Heck, nobody could touch you without receiving a glare from Reggie which in turn would result to you smacking him in the head as he pouted but still continued to follow you around like a lost guard dog.

“Or we could blame you fucking me 12 times a day, every day? How about that?” You shot back.

“Hush, (Y/N/N), “ Reggie said as he cradled Cherry on his right arm and picked up the older twin, Jason, on the other. “My babies can hear you.”

“Oh they’re your babies now—“

“TOUCHDOWN BITCHES!” You heard the all too familiar slamming of the door open and Cheryl’s voice from below. “WHERE ARE MY DEAR DARLINGS?!”

“I can’t believe I actually gave that woman a spare key.” Reggie sighed, making you giggle. “Since when did she arrive from London?”

“Come on now,” you said as you took Cherry from Reggie making him pout. God, his daughter had him whipped. “Let’s go down before Cheryl wrecks havoc in here too.”

“I gotta share everything with her,” Reggie complained to a now sleeping Jason, as he went downstairs and saw Cheryl with a dollhouse and a toy car that looked too expensive and too realistic to be owned by a couple of 7 month old babies .”One day I’ll just snap and assassinate her, I swear to God.”

“I heard that, you ass!”

“You needed to hear it, satan!”

You couldn’t help but watch as Reggie and Cheryl bickered back and forth while Jason was silently sleeping in his crib and Cherry was babbling nonsense while sitting comfortably in your lap.

“Listen here Poison Ivy wanna-be, you’re spoiling my kids and they don’t even have the mental capacity to be spoiled yet.” Reggie complained.

“I am their godmother I can do what I want because I am richer than their father.”

“Excuse me,” Reggie seemed genuinely offended and you couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Who’s richer than who’ has been a small game in between Reggie and Cheryl, heck, even Archie, who is now an international song artist, and Moose who is an owner of a couple of successful gyms would join every now and then.

I guess nothing really ever truly changed. Reggie and Cheryl just can’t admit they love each other with a gun aimed at their heads, you were still hopelessly in-love with your husband, and he still looks at you as if you were the reason the sun continues to shine every morning. Only now you had two little angels to call your own and more money than you can spend.

Not bad for a shy girl from Riverdale who was secretly in love with her bestfriend.

You looked at your family, once more. Leaning back, placing Cherry on your chest, you sighed in contentment.

Not bad at all.


A/N: I’m gonna miss writing this so fucking much. Fuck.


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constantcacoethes  asked:

I'm graduating in a year... I'm consumed with prep of NAVLE and the rotations, which incidentally never let me sleep quite enough to regain sanity. Now, I am beginning to feel the pressure of finding a job. I have an area where I'm going to for 1-2 years. The issue I have is due to the way things are set up there I won't be able to find mentorship for the area I want. Is it more important to search for mentorship as a bright eyed graduate? I'm so concerned I won't get hired.

Good luck with the NAVLE. I understand it can be all consuming. 

Your first job as a new grad will shape you as a veterinarian. It’s important to find a job that will support you, will let you work up cases and have a surgical caseload and not leave you isolated, rather than limit you to only doing vaccination and wellness consults.

You graduate with a hole lot of knowledge, but new grad vets need support somehow if they’re going to not go insane. Another vet in the practice you work at is ideal, but phone contact might do some of the time.

It’s better to have a job to keep your skills fresh than to not have one, but if that job is bad for you don’t be afraid to switch.

New grads I work with start out only doing wellness consults for a few days, just until they get the hand of the computer system and layout of the clinic, alongside routine desexings. Then they get access to progressively more complex cases as soon as possible, with a senior vet hovering outside their door or over their shoulder as required. We’ve always considered new grads to be an investment. I would recommend considering your first job as an investment too, because you can expect to do a huge amount of learning in the first six months.

I and most of my friends are working or studying in fields that rely heavily on US government funding and support. A week ago, we knew we were future archaeologists, historians, conservation biologists, policymakers, environmental scientists, diplomats, park rangers; now some of us don’t know what we are. For so many, it feels like the rug has been totally pulled out from under us. More so if your dream job was actually in government (like mine), or if you’re a veteran who could’ve expected to benefit from federal veteran’s employment initiatives, or if you’re a research scientist or grad student working on a federal grant funded project, or if you’re a new graduate suddenly plunged into a market where the jobs you’ve prepared for are gone, frozen indefinitely by an administration hostile to their existence.

This isn’t hypothetical angst. Across the US, jobs people were applying for last week are closed. Graduate students whose EPA grants are suspended stand poised to lose not only their work, but their living stipends.

But who gives a fuck about me and my friends, right? Who cares about the futures of we who so foolishly chose to work our asses off to preserve and share our heritage, defend our wild places, support vulnerable populations, understand the forces of nature, create a more sustainable world, alleviate poverty, educate the public, create public policy, and represent our nation? I guess we all should’ve studied to be fucking hedge fund managers.

When the President talked about “bringing back jobs,” which ones was he talking about, exactly?

20+ Jealous Louis Fics:

In a twisted turn of events, Louis finds himself posing as the brother of his fiancé, Harry, for an annual company retreat.

Did he sign up for this? No.

Is he doing it anyway? Yes.

Can they actually pull this off? Probably not.

Louis isn’t someone who Harry thought he could ever be with, and Louis never thought he’d break his rules for anyone.

Sometimes being wrong isn’t so bad after all.

AU. In which Louis is a solicitor at one of London’s most prestigious law firms and Harry happens to apply for the position as his trainee. And everyone else is around, too.

AU in which Louis hates his job and loves Harry, Harry just wants a distraction, everyone else wants them to get their shit together, and Louis learns the hard way that new beginnings are only possible when something ends.

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npr.org
Here's The Fine Print On The Country's Biggest-Ever Free College Plan
Freedom's just another word for ... a full-ride scholarship, with strings attached. New York's vast new scholarship program has brought praise, and some nitpicking.
  • It only covers full time students.
  • Families can’t make more than $100,000 a year for the students to be covered (consider the difference in cost of living… you have to be relatively poor to get this scholarship).
  • Students must first apply for, and use, other money like federal Pell Grants, before turning to the scholarship.
  • if you don’t finish on time (2 years for community college, 4 years for 4-year programs), you lose the money… so… most students WILL lose the money and have to get loans to pay for their last year or so.
  • you have to stay in New York post-graduation for the same number of years you received the scholarship… or it retroactively becomes a loan. This is to ensure NY tax payers reap the benefits of paying for your education.
Knuckles : Boxer!Ashton (Part 5)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven  | Part Eight

[Following anyone/everyone who leaves some form of thoughtful feedback x]

- Knuckles Playlist


“Calum!” you call after walking into the kitchen, spraying cleaner on the counter and drying it down with a rag. “It’s your turn to take the garbage out.”

“One second,” he says back, followed shortly with an unrelated, “Oh, shit.”

A moment later you glance up to see him emerge from his bedroom, shirtless, and holding in his hand a toothbrush with bristles coated in white paste.

Your arm continues to circle the counter with the rag, using slightly less elbow grease now that you’ve been distracted. “What?”

“Water’s out in my room,” he answers casually, as if it’s a reoccurring inconvenience that he’s come to expect over time. He reaches across the counter to dampen his toothbrush with the kitchen’s faucet, then proceeds to scrub his morning breath away.

“How does it just go out in one room?” you question, turning to use the same cleaner on the front of the refrigerator.

“Dunno,” Calum mutters with a mouth full of foam. Your ears catch the sound of him spitting into the sink.

“I just cleaned that.”

“And you did a great job.”

You cast an annoyed glare over your shoulder.

“Anyway, cool if I use your shower?” Calum asks, smiling at the silent threat.

The ownership you have over anything in the apartment still sounds odd to you when put into words, almost always forcing you to pause with the need to correct Calum before remembering he’s making sense. You guess you haven’t quite settled in to your newest living arangment yet, still in the habit of referring to it as Calum and Ashton’s place. You only unpacked your last box a few weeks ago, a short while after Ashton left for Las Vegas to pursue the boxing training Dennis Serrant had to offer.

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Been there, done that

Choosing your first job in veterinary practice can change the course of your career. The right place will set your habits for the rest of your working life, the wrong place will break you and make you leave the profession. When I chose my first job, a part of what attracted me was a senior vet who I empathized with. I could totally see myself becoming her in the future.

The new graduate I have now, I look at her sometimes and recognize her demons.

This is most obvious in surgery. I can see the sweat on her forehead, and pooling in her gloves. Her hands shake sometimes, when she’s worried. Her questions are short. She really just wants somebody to check, to assure her that everything is fine when she’s unsure.

Ah, hello anxiety and panic.

On the one hand part of me wants to jump in and save the day, and I absolutely would if there was actually anything bad happening, but there never is, and so I never do.

I have a look, make myself comfortable and talk her through it.

This is how you know for sure it’s okay.

This is how you check.

This is how you double check.

I am not worried. You have checked everything, it is all fine, and now you should not be worried.

But I will stay here until you tell me you’re not worried.

Because I remember what I wanted needed to hear when I was new. I would hope that I can teach her from my mistakes so that she doesn’t need to make them herself. We’re similar kinds of people, and that makes her easy to guide.