Watching Code Lyoko is sort of surreal because of how much technology has advanced since this very technology-focused cartoon premiered in 2003.

the virtual world of Lyoko houses two artificial intelligence beings, one with fully human behaviors, and one with the capability to affect things in the real world that aren’t even mildly electronic. (episode 1, a giant teddy bear. why XANA)

Three children regularly fully digitize themselves to enter and exit Lyoko without any negative side effects to their mental or physical well being… aside from that time one of them fell into the “digital sea” and just. ceased to exist. Was there a body? nobody knows

XANA has taken control of trains, a government sattelite with a goddamn laser capable of targeting an individual person and pulverizing everything within a ten-foot radius of its target, (why does that even exist?) clouds of several different kinds of toxic gasses, a swarm of bees, the previously mentioned giant teddy bear, a living replica of one of the main characters, all with decidedly malicious intent. (plus that whole thing with William….)

But, it still seems to obey video game type logic, such as only deploying a limited number of minions, all with a clearly visible weak spot.

The heroes are always alerted of XANA’s activity, (directional vibrations on the ground in Lyoko) and always stop it, (deactivating the tower) in the same ways every time.

literal time travel, via the push of a button, voice command, automatic?? it’s really not consistent

but the gang’s computer whiz kid Jeremie’s personal setup looks like this

look at this dinosaur

and they all use freaking nokias

here we have Ulrich typing in Jeremie’s phone number, from memory, in order to alert him that an evil computer program has taken control of the electrical wiring in the school cafeteria and that they’re all trapped

There’s an episode in which nanobots cause an amnesia epidemic, (I think it’s one of my faves so far) and the next episode begins with Odd talking excitedly about downloading an MP3 file off the web

I haven’t gotten to that episode yet, but I distinctly remember Jeremie exclaiming “I just need a couple more bytes!” and Odd saving the day by closing out a game of Tetris that was running in the background

I remembered it wrong, Yumi was at the computer trying to save Jeremie after he convinced her to try and virtualize him (she messed it up because he didn’t bother to walk her through virtualizing someone step by step) and they needed “a few more bytes” of memory, so Odd plugged Ulrich’s gameboy into the system, which of course fixed the problem somehow. It was definitely Tetris though. He’d been up until 3am playing Tetris the night before. Tetris. Tetris saved Jeremie from deleting himself.

TL;DR: between the conflicting level of often nonsensical technological advancement, (how did a computer program just. make bees) occasionally awkward dubbing, (that was absolutely Ulrich’s voice coming out of Yumi’s mouth. yep. mm-hm. good) rare and often unsettling puns, and Odd’s hair, Code Lyoko is a surreal experience and I recommend it

5 things only people who are perscribed to Vyvanse/Adderall understand

1. Being physically, but not mentally, hungry.

You hear your stomach growl. You know that you need to eat so you head to your pantry. You scan everything in it, but nothing appeals to you. On a good day, you might find something that interests you. But after a few bites, you’re already full. When you’re prescribed Vyvanse, every day is a battle of forcing yourself to eat, just so you can take in the calories you need. Many may think this sounds ideal, a simple way to suppress your appetite and lose a few pounds. But when your ribs start to show and your doctor is hassling you about being underweight, or when people ignorantly assume you have an eating disorder, it’s not so fun. Vyvanse makes us completely repulsed of something so simple that we once loved: food.

2. Being an asshole.

For those who take Adderall/Vyvanse recreationally, it can make them feel unusually talkative and social. For us ADD/ADHD-ers, it calms us down, and sometimes even makes us the opposite of social. If we’re trying to get something done, don’t take it the wrong way when we come off as an asshole for not wanting to be social with you. When we’re focused on something and you’re repeatedly clicking your pen, please don’t take our death stare the wrong way. We’re just irritable because you’re distracting us from what the Vyvanse is telling us we need to do: focus.

3. Hyperfocusing on exactly what we’re not supposed to be focusing on.

For those of us who have ADD/ADHD, Vyvanse doesn’t magically make us limitless. Sometimes although we are able to focus, it’s on the wrong thing (Example: Me writing this article during class). Whatever it is that we are hyperfocusing on, has to be perfect. And this can take a while, distracting us from what really needs to be done. For us, overcoming distractions and ADD/ADHD is more than just taking a pill a couple times a day. It also takes serious willpower and learned cognitive behavioral skills in order to filter out the loads of irrelevant stimuli that flood our brains.

4. Becoming a zombie.

You’re not really sure where your personality went. You’re not really sure when the last time you smiled was because you’re feel so serious. You’ve been intently staring for so long that you remind yourself to blink. Your jaw is clenched. Someone may ask you if you’re okay or if you’re in a bad mood. You’re fine of course; the Vyvanse just makes you feel flat.

5. Being physically, but not mentally, exhausted.

Your body is sore and your eyes burn. Lying down feels so good, but sleep is out of the question. Your eyes won’t stay closed and your mind is still alert. Every day requires strategically not taking your meds too late, otherwise you will be miserable come bedtime, staring at the ceiling for hours. Naps during the day? Say goodbye to those.

Basically, we just want you to understand even though you maybe never will.

Vyvanse isn’t fun. Dealing with all of the above almost daily isn’tideal. And dealing with a real ADD/ADHD diagnosis is FAR fromlucky. Vyvanse isn’t a drug to joke about or buy in the library. It’s a medication that helps struggling individuals every day, and despite the negative side effects, we need that help

Think of napping as a basic right, not a petty luxury….

Establish a few basic preconditions. Find a safe space, like an unoccupied office or a dedicated rest area, where you’re unlikely to be bothered. Block out light with an eye mask. Absolute quiet is not a requirement for sleep, but if you are in a particularly noisy place, like a factory, use earplugs. You don’t need to lie down. Napping can be achieved sitting upright, cheek on the desk. “Bring along a small pillow for your head,” Léger says. The ideal snooze time will depend on your sleep schedule, but most daytime workers experience peak drowsiness in the afternoon. Léger hopes that someday, a quick slumber will re­place the post-lunch coffee. “Napping is much more powerful than caffeine,” he says, “and there are no negative side effects.”

Patients often tell Léger how they sneak into the bathroom or into their parked cars to nod off during the workday. Their fatigue embarrasses them. Do your part to destigmatize naps by talking openly about how pooped you feel. Tell your co-workers you intend to sleep for 20 minutes. “There is nothing shameful about a nap,” Léger says.
—  How to Nap, New York Times

Hoo Boy the backstory for these is kind of bizarre.

It all started with jokingly asking, “So when do the [??? as Mob’s Twin] AUs start rolling in?” Welp, @unpepper and I both had a lot to say about how that would go and we wound up each making a ???-as-a-human character for that purpose.

The resulting characters were Kageyama Eiji and Shigeru.

Everything else under the cut because it’s LONG.

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Theory: Fukurodani To Win Nationals

alternatively: this is a shounen sports manga so literally anyone could win for any reason whatsoever but a Fukurodani win would not be the worst possible choice and could in fact be an excellent choice

The tricky thing about theorizing who could win nationals is that none of the teams talk about winning nationals. It’s all about the act of going and what they will do there. Past winners aren’t even mentioned. But we’re 234 chapters into this. For the story, for the characters, and for myself as a fan, I want our current teams to get what they want and deserve, but I want them to aspire for more in the future. Or as Coach Nekomata says in ch.96:

[Note: I’m sorry not sorry for this monstrosity of a post. This is by no means a definitive edition. Beware that below the cut is image heavy and full of spoilers.]

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anonymous asked:

Do you have any thoughts on the quirk drugs? Like with the enhancing one maybe it wears down your quirk over time?

Quirk-Erasing Drugs and Quirk-Enhancing Drugs

I talked about the Quirk drugs a little here

I didn’t go in-depth during that post though. I’ll talk about them more here. 

The Internship Arc isn’t only about saving Eri. It’s about stopping the production of the Quirk-erasing drugs.

According to chapter 135, humans with Quirks have a special body mechanism called “plus alpha.” If this mechanism is stopped, Quirks are erased. Eraserhead’s Quirk temporarily halts this mechanism, but the Quirk-erasing drugs DAMAGES IT. 

The stronger the Quirk-enhancing drug is, the more damage it can do to the plus alpha mechanism. Tamaki was hit with a weaker Quirk-erasing drug, so his body mechanism was able to heal.

Overhaul creates these Quirk-erasing drugs using his daughter’s blood cells because her blood cells attack the plus alpha body mechanism. 

It’s horrifying to think about because Overhaul gets her blood by destroying parts of her body by using his dismantling Quirk before repairing the destroyed body part so that she doesn’t bleed to death. She wears bandages because Overhaul keeps destroying her arms to get her blood. 

The horrifying child abuse alone is enough to go save Eri. 

Furthermore, the Quirk-erasing drugs themselves are even more devastating. If the drugs’ production continues, Quirk-erasing drugs that permanently erases Quirks could be created. These drugs destroy the plus alpha mechanism and can permanently take the Quirks of countless heroes, causing society to lose countless heroes.

Because Overhaul is making these drugs using Eri, these Quirk-erasing drugs are spread to many different organizations. If this continues, a countless number of villains and thugs will have these drugs and take away the Quirks of many heroes and innocent individuals. 

Saving Eri isn’t only about stopping child abuse. It’s about stopping the production of Quirk-erasing drugs to save the lives of potentially millions of people. If heroes lose their Quirks, then society will go into shambles and the era of heroes will end. Saving Eri is worth risking the lives of heroes and using all available resources. 

The Quirk-erasing drugs are as devastating as the Quirk-enhancing drugs. 

The Quirk-enhancing drugs are pretty powerful. The one this thug uses is amazingly strong.

However, according to Fat Gum, the drug he uses is an inferior type from Asia. There are stronger Quirk-enhancing drugs from America that last two hours. Two hours is a long time to be overpowered. The ones from America possibly have stronger effects too. That’s SCARY to think about.

As Kirishima says, it’s important to keep these drugs off the street.

The drug we don’t know too much about is the Quirk-enhancing drug. There has to be negative side effects to using the drug. As Bakugou has said, a Quirk is a body mechanism. Quirks can’t use their powers without consequences. The power of the Quirk has to come from somewhere. 

Quirk-enhancing drugs remind me of anabolic steroids. Anabolic steroids make muscles and bones stronger. However, there are side effects. Anabolic steroids are hormones. Using them would cause the body to have an unnatural amount of hormones. As a result, anabolic steroids cause hormonal side effects. Hormones are chemical messagers that control various body mechanisms, such as hunger and sleep. Messing up with hormones can mess up all your body mechanisms, which is why steroids can give people heart attacks, high blood pressure, strokes, stomach irritation, ect.

The Quirk-enhancing drugs probably have a similar wide range of side effects. The drug probably works opposite from the Quirk-erasing drugs. Instead of inhibiting the plus alpha body mechanism, the drug enhances the plus alpha body mechanism. The side effects are probably determined by how the plus alpha mechanism is affected. It is a body mechanism, so there’s a good chance the Quirk-enhancing drug uses hormones, neurotransmitters, or other chemical messengers to affect the body mechanism. However, affecting one body mechanism affects others. The alpha body mechanism has to work with other body mechanisms in order for Quirks to work, and body mechanisms are all connected through the circulatory system, the nervous system, and other body systems.

Let’s use Momo as an example. Momo’s Quirk uses her fat cells.This means her plus alpha body mechanism works with her circulatory system and any other mechanism involved in fat usage. If the Quirk-enhancing drug hits her, her body alpha mechanism isn’t the only one affected. Her fat usage mechanism would also be affected since we know that her fat cells are used to create objects. Her fat cells could be affected in negative ways. She could lose too many fat cells, and then starve herself. Or, if her body senses her fat cells are being used too quickly, her body could eat away at her muscles for energy. Her heart in particular could also be affected because the heart is a muscle. Having her heart being eaten away could cause Momo to have a heart attack or other problems. Also, Momo having her fat and muscles being eaten away altogether could cause her body to shut down. Other body mechanisms could be affected since all body mechanisms are connected. The negative side effects are endless. Other Quirk users would suffer just as devastating side effects as Momo would.

Psychologist Pixi Is Back With Some MV Explanation

Ok I’m gonna make a post explaining mental illness in b.a.p’s mv bc I think lots of y'all are missing that all of that was mental illness (schi//////zophrenia, anx/////iety/dep//////ression w suicide ideation, body dysm/////orphic disorder, sub//////stance use disorder, and ano////rexia) I’m sorry about the slashes, if just rather not have this post in tags where people are seeking out help and recovery as it’s off topic

Sch////izophrenia: the guys seeming oblivious to the world around him, conducting even though there was no band? That’s what this disorder looks like frequently in severe cases. He’s caught up in hallu////cinations that keep him from reality. Everyone keeps mentioning him as murder and in that I think they’re missing a lot of the point. While more mentally ill people are more likely to suffer from violent crimes than to commit them, it still stands that violent crime by mentally ill people exists. (I’ll admit I’m a little bit iffy about this part of the mv bc of fear of violent crime being part of the stigma of mental illness, especially ps////ychotic illnesses, but I think bap addressed it in an appropriate way bc it wasn’t the point they were trying to make) the point they were making with this man and the bodies around him so a long standing legal debate, can we really hold this man accountable when he’s not aware of his actions? He keeps conducting, not knowing what he’s done. A lot of you are actually playing into this, reacting the way people normally would: you only notice the bodies, not the unaware man. He makes you uncomfortable because he is strange and different. But is he really at fault when he doesn’t know? That’s what bap is trying to say.

An/////xiety and de/////pression w suicide ideation: y'all have generally figured out the man in the bathroom, but in general that’s what he represents. He’s someone at the end of their line, frustrated, hopeless, and stressed. I feel like we’re used to seeing this disorder portrayed, so most people understood, so I’ll leave it there. Feel free to message me if you need further explanation.

Body dys//////morphic disorder: people keep labeling the girl looking in the mirror as just “insecurities” and i just want to clarify that it’s further than that. This is a woman doing anything she can to convince herself that she looks alright (which she does) but her appearance is never right to her. Likely what she’s seeing in the mirror is different from what we’re seeing, which is why she smashes it. She doesn’t want to see her reflection when it’s something so terrible to her. Baps making a good point here, bc we typically look down on people who hate the way they look and call them shallow and vain for obsessing over their looks, while bap is pointing out how much they really are hurting

Su/////bstance use disorder: the girl in the hall, holding her head, taking pills, is a clear representation of this disorder. We find her first in the withdrawal state, trying to resist what she’s addicted too, but she gives in despite the negative side effects (i.e. vomiting). I really like the way they approached this, because a lot of media dehumanizes and demonizes people with this disorder, but bap did the opposite, reminding their audience that these people are human, are suffering, and are mentally ill

Ano////rexia: I think people generally understand the girl in the kitchen, but here’s a little clarification. She’s cutting the food smaller because it’s a common rhetoric that if you eat smaller bite you’ll eat less. Even the one sliver of carrot feels like too much for her tho, bc like a lot of people with this disorder, it’s like she’s become afraid of food. She thinks eating anything is disgusting and will increase her weight, that’s why she’s hallucinating worms in the food. It’s a metaphor for how she views food. I really appreciate the way they approached this, instead of just putting a sad skinny girl in front of a mirror and maybe having her faint. Showing the really an//////xiety and ps//////ychosis of this disorder instead of standard, not really effective portrayals

Finally, emotion revolution is a summit held by mental health professionals every couple of years, focusing on creating a conversation about mental illness and lowering stigma

All of this to say, B.A.P - Wake Me Up is entirely and wholly about mental illness. It’s a music video that displays mental illnesses accurately while addressing the stigma surrounding them. It focuses on humanizing something we’ve demonized, and on showing mental illness not only in its reality, but without looking down on the people that have it. I really want people to understand this, because their message was really important

Confession #2,450

Because of my chronic illness I have lost so much weight that I stopped getting my periods and have terrible immune system. I’ve been struggling with the way I look and desperately trying to gain weight. All I hear from other women is how good I look and how lucky I am to be this skinny. I am severely underweight and I wish they would stop glorifying a negative side effect of my illness and understand that no one is happy with their weight if it was forced on them.


Bucky x reader

Summary: Just some fun banter between you and Bucky (and a bit of Clint) during a mission.

Warnings: a swear or two.

Word Count: 1400

A/N: oh hey this is my first time posting a one shot. Go easy on meeee

You weren’t entirely sure why you and Bucky Barnes bickered all the time. The arguments never got too heated, the words exchanged were never too harsh, and you didn’t really make anyone uncomfortable with the harmless banter. It had just become a constant about life in the tower.

But despite the back-and-forth between the two of you, you worked amazingly well together in the field. You listened to each other, you were both able to predict how the other would act in any given situation, and you always had each other’s backs. Sure, sometimes one of you would pester the other as you searched through questionable buildings or fought baddies, but it never interfered with your mission.

So the fact that you and Bucky were creeping through a mostly abandoned warehouse just before dusk was par for the course.

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Lunchtime Drabble: See Me (12/?)

Lunchtime Drabble: See Me (12/?)
Pairing: Leonard McCoy x Fem!Reader, Kirk x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 907
Series Warnings: Some swearing, mention of death, a few injuries.
Series Masterlist so you can catch up!

Originally posted by ch-est-er

Leonard left soon after he woke you, saying there were things he needed to get done so that he could focus on you for the next few days. After the medicine had done its job and you woke up, he said he would need to keep monitoring you for any negative reactions or side effects of the treatment for another day or so.

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It’s been clear to me for sometime, even before the pool incident, that trans males believe themselves to be the most marginalized, oppressed humans on earth because they get a hint of what life is like without male social privilege. Trans males will always be privileged over all females because they have bodily autonomy. They may say being denied cross sex hormones equates to loss of bodily autonomy but no one is mandating that they endure a life threatening condition, whereas being denied cross sex hormones is to prevent negative side effects. A trans male prostitute may be beaten and raped, just like many female prostitutes, but they will not be forced to carry a resultant pregnancy to term. If their rapist is known to them that rapist cannot use a child as way to continue abusing the victim for 2 decades. Becoming pregnant by a rapist is a concern only women have and is crucial to the formation of an adult woman to live with that fear in the back of your mind, perhaps layers down but in those moments when the you’re calculating the worst possible outcome for you it’s there. Even if a trans male is able to live completely “stealth” without anyone cognisent of their sex, even if they loose much of the social privilege afforded to males they will always be fundamentally privileged over females because unwanted pregnancy, forced pregnancy is not an eventuality they will have to consider. They will never have to waste a second of their lives worrying about what they’d do if they became pregnant.

And before anyone says “what about infertile women” most women who are infertile do not know until later in their lives. They will have had the worry at some point before they learned of their condition or before a some alteration of their reproductive system ie hysteroectomy. Furthermore, anyone who has ever seen that old reality show “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” realizes that sometimes women who have been told they are infertile become pregnant anyway. It can still be a worry.


Summary: In which you’re nervous and Bucky is there to help you calm down.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 993

A/N: For @avengerstories , it was so weird not having you edit this but I wrote it last night for you and wanted it to be a surprise.

Originally posted by hurtbymanyblogs

Bucky is calling your name but you can’t move. Fear and anxiety prevent you from doing so.

“Y/N, where are you?”

You press your body further against the wall, unintentionally knocking over a shoebox in the process. As it falls with a loud thud, you close your eyes and cross your fingers. Hopefully Bucky was too far away to hear that. Seconds tick by without any sign of him and you think that you’re in the clear. Just as this thought crosses your mind, the door in front of you is pulled open, bathing you in an unwanted stream of light.

“Doll, why are you in the closet?”

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yearning. pt.3

pairing: kwon jiyong x you x dong youngbae
rating: m (language, explicit sexual content)
genre: angst, fluff, smut
pt.1, pt.2, pt.3

playlist - JIYONG
playlist - YOUNGBAE

Originally posted by hbi-n

Originally posted by gzboms

The awkward silence that followed, while you were having lunch was nothing but intolerable.

But Jiyong couldn’t really blame you, could he? He was the one who should know better and yet took advance of the situation. If anyone was at fault here for the ‘special moment’ they had shared, it was definetely him - No use in denying that. 

Fuck, how he wanted to smoke. 

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I saw a post in passing about people who suffer from dissociation or psychotic episodes and the dangers of mindfulness exercises.

I took the time and looked into it, and it does look like there  are incredibly negative side effects associated with people with certain mental illnesses and mindfulness exercises. I encourage you to seek out your own sources.

All meditation is not mindfulness exercises. If you’ve been following this blog long enough, then you know that I am actually a strong proponent for flow as a form of meditation. Flow is when you get deep into an activity with repetitive motions or tasks. I am also a strong proponent for meditation in motion.

All of this is to say that you absolutely do not need to put yourself in danger to meditate. You really don’t have to meditate at all. Your well being is way more important.

When it comes to magical practices, the reason people tell practitioners to meditate is so that the practitioners can strengthen their concentration and focus. Other things do that as well.

I really do recommend speaking to a health care professional if this is something that concerns you.

Be well.


The Long Road

The path to being an exceptional writer is long. The road is marked with goatheads and brambles, and other times there are small stretches of gold bricks. The long road is not necessarily measured in time, but it can be. It can be time. It can be effort. It can be in written words.

But in the end, it’s a long road.

Lately I’ve been thinking of that long road. It’s difficult to move from a beginning writer to a good writer, but the work is even greater and harder to move from a good writer to an exceptional one. It can take blood, sweat, tears, and more than that.

I do a lot of editing, and in the process, I find myself reflecting on the magnitude of such a feat… . so many writers who have worked hard to get where they are, and they still have a long way to go. I’ve edited manuscripts from military professionals, people who work for NASA, university professors, and employees in Hollywood, and do you want to know a secret?

We all start at the beginning.

Even those who may have a natural talent have to work their butts off to refine, control, and shape that talent. But after five years of working in this industry, I’m not really sure how much I believe in “natural talent” anymore. There is ambition and there is effort.

When you start taking writing seriously and start getting feedback from others, it’s often done in a critique group or a workshop. In college, everyone took what they wrote and brought it to class and the rest of the time was spent critiquing the work. In such a setting, the leader, or usually in my case the teacher, emphasized the need to divorce the story from the person who wrote it. We are critiquing the story, not the writer. This has several benefits. It encourages us to look at the story objectively. It makes the negative criticism easier to bear–it’s nothing personal, it’s just the story we’re talking about. It forces the writer to consider how their writing may be received from people who don’t know them.

But there is at least one potential negative side effect: we focus on the story getting better, instead of the writer getting better.

Focusing on you, the writer, getting better does amazing things. A good story doesn’t “just happen”–it’s intentional. You consistently become a powerful writer when you know what you are doing, and you can see what to edit.

In some critique circles I’ve seen, people write the story and expect everyone else to tell them what’s wrong with it and how to fix it. But the better you become as a writer, the better your stories will be.

Some stories can only get so great, without having to do such a big re-haul that it’s really a new story. But writers don’t have a cap. They can always get better. Maybe the question isn’t just “How do I make this book better?” but also, “How do I become a better writer?”

Changing your focus also takes some of the pressure off the story. It’s a stepping stone for you to become better. It’s working for you. You aren’t working for it.

A good story is a good story. But a good writer can write hundreds of good stories and can do it consistently. Once one story is completed, she can move onto the next.

There are perks along the long road. There are kind words, successes, moments where the planets seem to align, and there is good news, but unless you focus and learn to enjoy your own personal journey and growth–not just the story’s–you’ll cap out, voluntarily but unknowingly.

So be patient. It’s a long road. Learn to love the journey. Have ambition. Exercise effort. As I’ve said before, the trick is not to quit.

On the hate against John Green

I haven’t read any of his books. Let me get that out of the way first. I also haven’t seen the movies. So, when I talk about John Green, I’m talking about the person who, with his brother, runs a host of Internet shows, services, etc, and who raised over 1.5 million dollars for vital charities last year, while bringing attention to them that very few other people with such a large platform are choosing to do.

So, I watch his internet videos. Including the most recent one about Syrian refugees.

Frankly, if you can watch that video and ones like it, and get pissed off that this white guy is saying these things, or assume that he is doing it for ally props rather than a genuine desire to make the world better, I want to know what your actual fucking problem is. Because the lives and safety and happiness of those refugees is improved by the money and awareness he has raised and that is literally infinitely more important than how you feel about the person doing that work.

If you are angry that his prominence in YA fiction has made him something of a gate keeper, I want to know what exactly you would have him do that he isn’t doing?

Should he not write YA? Should he not recommend books by female authors?
What has he done or not done that has drawn your ire, exactly? He wrote books people love and take great comfort and inspiration from. That his success has negative side effects is not his fault, nor is there anything he could do to make it not the case. What he can do to mitigate it, he is currently doing.

And seriously, if you look at John Green and see “creep” because his books are about youth and he hangs out with young people and engages with them, rather than seeing that and seeing “teacher”, unfollow me.

Shakespeare parenting advice:

Romeo and Juliet: When your daughter is upset and grieving, just force her into an unwanted arranged marriage. Will 100% cheer her up and can’t possible have negative side effects! After all, all girls dream of their wedding day, right?

King Lear: Banish your daughter! If she just behaves slightly different from what you expected, by all means no, don’t let her explain, just banish her. Serves her right anyway.

Hamlet: Bully your mentally not too stable son into pursuing vendetta on your account. The fact that you’re dead and can’t possibly profit from it is to be neglected. That it will force your young and inexpericed son to stand up to a skillful murderer, the now legitimate king, his mother’s husband only on ground of you having appeared to him as a ghost indeed might result in him being taken for mad and also lead to him getting killed, but well, life’s not a bed of roses, a lesson one can’t learn too early and too thouroughly.

A Winter’s Tale: The mere fact that your wife has always been loving, honest and faithful, that everyone knows she has always been loving, honest and faithful, and that your new born baby is the spitting image of yourself still is not a 100% proof that your wife did not cheat on you and that the baby is yours. So if in doubt, just have your baby daughter abandoned on a strange shore and left for dead. Maybe she’ll even be lucky and find a teddy bear to play with.

A Comedy of Errors: Yes! If asked if you should give your confusingly identical twin boys identical names the answer is obviously YES! It will be not confusing at all and provide so. much. fun!

A Midsummer Night’s Dream: If your daughter loves a socially acceptable really nice guy, force her to marry a jerk of the same social rank who already dropped another girl like a hot potato. And by force I mean present her with the choice between the arranged marriage or death or a life as nun. Why? To boost your ego and establish your authority,obviously! Isn’t that enough of a reason?

The Tempest: When shipwrecked with your baby daughter on a strange island with a magical book that enables you to conjure storms ad lead ships towards you, there is absolutely no reason you should use your powers to call for help. After all, this would only enable your kid to grow up in a normal environment with real friends instead of  weird spirits. So just wait till the ideal opportunity to take revenge and possibly arrange a marriage arises.