NOTHING ELSE WILL EVER MATCH UP TO THAT

once-uponacaptain  asked:

Not sure if you're still taking prompts, but if you are, how about 'finding the other wearing their clothes'?

The last thing he thought he’d be doing on a Tuesday evening when the sky opened up and let out a monster of a thunderstorm, was leaving the house and getting caught in the rain. And yet, here he is, wringing water out of his clothes in the bathroom sink to get them just dry enough that they won’t leave trails when he takes them to the laundry room downstairs.

He heaves out a heavy sigh but he can’t seem to get mad. Because every time he tries, he thinks of Emma Swan knocking on his door and pulling him down several flights of stairs to soak him to his toes. His best friend is a thunderstorm in herself.

There’s a knock at the door, and he hums in reply.

“I made apology coffee,” Emma calls out. He laughs, as though she has anything to apologise for. She could lead him anywhere and he’d follow willingly, as head over heels as he is about her.

“I’ll be right there, love.”

It takes him a few seconds to gather his clothes in the basket at the corner, to push his fingers through his hair several times and look in the mirror, giving himself a silent pep talk. It’s mostly new, the discovery of the severity of his feelings for Emma. He’s always known he was drawn to her, but there’s something else there, too – a need to never be separated, a sensation of care that extends well beyond the natural, and a word that starts with L that he doesn’t think he should ever utter out loud in her presence. Not now anyway. Someday, maybe.

He hears her humming from the kitchen and smiles to himself.

“Apology coffee and a musical performance? Aren’t I just the luckiest man in the world.” It’s easy for him to slip into a tone of levity, even easier when she teases him right back.

“Please,” she scoffs. “You’re going to have to make me coffee if you want to hear me sing.”

“I make you coffee every single weekend,” he replies, throwing in a pout for good measure.

Emma shrugs, her smirk taking away from her excuse of an apology. She turns around to pick up the mugs from the counter and that’s when he notices it, the deep red fabric that bunches around her arms where she’s pushed the too long sleeves to her elbows. It hangs loosely on her frame, the threads fraying, the small tear in the hem glaring at him in recognition.

He hasn’t seen this sweatshirt in years, had forgotten about it completely, in fact. And here it is, worn by the woman he would never, in his existence, want to forget.

She places the mugs on the table and hesitates when he stays frozen in place. He’s staring, he knows, but he can’t help it.

“I forgot to bring an extra sweater, I thought it would be okay if I borrowed one?” she explains, though it comes out more like a question. He opens his mouth but doesn’t get a word out. Emma’s fingers run along the hem, fidgeting. “I’ll just go put it back in your drawer, I’ll be fine in my shirt.”

He steps in front of her when she tries to pass by him, and shakes his head.

“No, no, I just– my brother gave me that sweatshirt. I simply haven’t seen it in a while, that’s all.”

“Shit, sorry, I should–,” she moves towards his room but he grabs her by the elbow and pulls her back in place.

“Swan, it’s perfectly fine. It even suits you,” he grins. And gods, does it ever. It brings out the gold of her hair and matches the red on her cheeks that’s always present during colder months. And it’s something else, to see her wrapped up in clothing that’s his. He’s pathetic in his longing for domesticity, for wanting it with Emma and Emma only. Unbidden, he imagines her in nothing but his sweatshirt, greeting him on a morning after with intimacy he should not be letting creep into his mind when she’s standing right in front of him.

He coughs, trying to cover it up.

She eyes him warily. “Are you sure?” He knows what she’s asking, Are you sure you want to trust me with this? As though she and Liam aren’t on the same standing in his mind, as though she isn’t deserving of being compared to his late brother. How she doesn’t see his heart beat straight out of his chest when she’s near, he’ll never know.

He gently runs a hand up and down her arm, and she visibly deflates at the gesture. He’s so close to her that he can count the creases on her forehead, knows they won’t leave her until the unnecessary guilt subsides.

“Positive,” he reassures.

And perhaps if he was privy to her thought process, he would expect her reaching up on her tiptoes and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. Instead, he stands there like a fool, stock still, as it happens.

“Thank you,” she practically whispers. She squeezes his hand once before stepping back. “Your coffee’s getting cold.”

He watches her walk to the table, damp curls hanging down her back, at home in a place that isn’t hers. Engulfed in an article of clothing that he associates with warmth and comfort. Completely and irrevocably making his heart pound. He lets out a gust of a breath. A thunderstorm in herself, indeed.

intimacy prompts

anonymous asked:

I loved your headcanons for Iida's married life with his s/o! Could you do Todoroki?

YOU BET YOUR BISCUITS I CAN!

Todoroki Shouto

  • Can’t start his day without giving his s/o a morning kiss. If he doesn’t for whatever reason, the rest of the day he doesn’t feel right at all.
  • Holding them close when they’re in bed, being the big spoon so that he can protect them even in sleep.
  • Wanting to be the best man he can possibly be for his s/o. He’d seen how wicked and cruel his father was to his own mother and he wanted to be nothing like that. He wouldn’t dream of ever laying a finger on his s/o.
  • Dropping subtle hints about having children with his s/o.
  • Friday night is date night. Unless he’s absolutely 100% needed somewhere else, he’ll always make it for date night. 
  • Never taking his ring off. Sometimes will just leisurely take hold of his s/o’s hand and will hold them up to see his and his s/o’s matching rings shining in the light.
  • Using his quirk to either keep his s/o warm or cold if needed.
  • Can never get over the fact that he managed to get somethig so perfect in his life. 
Let’s talk about Alexander Gideon Lightwood for a second okay.

He grew up closeted in a homophobic society. 

Got into his first real relationship shortly after finally coming out at eighteen. And knew absolutely nothing about his partner because Magnus wouldn’t/didn’t want to talk about his past. Alec didn’t know about Magnus’ ex’s. Alec was an insecure 18 year old whose boyfriend was immortal and he was afraid that Magnus would just move on to the next one after he died and Camille preyed on that fear and manipulated Alec. Though Alexander Gideon Lightwood never once asked Camille about a way to turn Magnus mortal - he only ever asked about his past. 

He continued what Clary started with the alliance rune to create and fond the Downworlder-Shadowhunter alliance despite how much it’s looked down upon by Shadowhunters such as Zara Bitchborn and the cohort. 

He fell in love with a downworlder and has grown so confident in his sexuality and his relationship. And defends his relationship with Magnus to the likes of Bitchborn. A downwolder that he’s going to marry, a downworlder that is his equal, a downworlder that is the father of his children. 

“Because he’s three thousand times the human being you’ll ever be,” said Alec. “Now get out of here before I risk his life by waking him up so he can turn you into a garbage fire. Something that would match your personality.” - Los (p.679)

He adopted a warlock baby when the child was abandoned and had no where else to go. A child he named after his baby brother, the name of his father’s parabatai and holds a Shadowhunter name. 

He’s been nothing but a fantastic big brother and parabatai - putting his siblings and their safety before his. Literally the only reason he had never killed a demon before in the beginning of tmi was because he was always watching Jace’s and Izzy’s backs while in the field. (I don’t know the direct quote or know where to find it but I know it’s a thing). It wasn’t as bad as Izzy’s guilt about he blamed himself for what happened to Max because he left Max and Izzy alone with Sebastian in CoG. 

When he first met Jace, he looked at him and thought “everything about him sayd ‘Love me, because nobody ever has.’ It was all over him, like fingerprints.” - Los (p.411)” and he always made sure Jace felt he belonged and was loved because he’s never had that. 

Despite everything that’s happened, he saw that his dad was actively trying to repair their damaged relationship, and so he tried too and he’s lost that. And his boyfriend his sick and his kids are gonna pick up on that. And Alec has too much on his plate for y’all to be petty assholes. 

Alexander Gideon Lightwood has had an amazing character arc and has been through so fucking much for y’all to shit on him. 

Bookworm Credence Headcanon

Ok I just thought of the perfect match for our lil Barebone bean. Credence discovering his love for books!


  • Honestly, Credence was by no means illiterate. Mary Lou had forced all the children to learn to at least read, if for nothing else but to propound about God’s wrath if they ever sinned.
  • The only books that he had ever read were the Bible and the NSPS anti witch propaganda booklet and it hadn’t drawn him to reading particularly.
  • So imagine his surprise when he discovered an old, battered copy of Newt’s manuscript (the original rough draft that he had planned while coming up with the book) while cleaning up the shed. 
  • The miniature drawings of all the creatures and scribbles and notes about each of them make him delighted. This is so unlike the verbose scriptures or the inflammatory messages that the NSPS booklet carried.
  • Just imagine Credence being so happy when he discovers that he already knows a fair bit about the magical creatures he’s reading about, from being Newt’s assistant and that is such an accomplishment for him!
  • Newt discovers Credence sitting on the ground, right in front of the Bowtruckle tree, mesmerised by his rough draft, cleaning long forgotten.
  • On being found out, Credence feels bad for unnecessarily slacking off but Newt instead gives him the published version of Fantastic Beasts and encourages him to give the finished book a go, “You might like the spruced up copy more than that old dusty one.”
  • Once Credence lays his hands on it, he is immediately awed by the glossy cover, the way the embellished title feels under his fingers, the fragrance that the book emits the moment he opens it, the way the illustrations seem much more real than the roughly sketched ones. 
  • Then he realises that they have actually been animated with magic! The Bowtruckle waves from his perch on his home tree and dear Lord, the Niffler is darting from page to page in search of anything shiny! The Demiguise disappears and reappears every time he turns the page back and forth.
  • He finishes reading it in one sitting, asking Newt various questions about every minute detail, ‘Hey Mr Scamander, does Dougal have Chinese origins?’ ‘Have you ever met a dragon before, Mr Scamander?’ ‘I think Pickett thinks of you as his home, he’s supposed to be the guardian of his tree, right?’
  •  Amused by his curiosity, Newt patiently answers every single question. And when he realises that the book had been so well thumbed that it has started resembling the original rough draft, Newt goes in search of his old school books that he is sure he left somewhere in the shed.
  • Credence is giddy with the excitement of an 11 year old when the magizoologist actually hauls out all the books from their storage space in a moth infested trunk.
  • Newt can’t help but smile when he discovers Credence reading under his covers, by the light of his Obscurial magic (which he can now control with much ease). ‘Just five more minutes, then I’ll go to bed. Things are getting really interesting in the 18th century Goblin Rebellion!’
  • Once he has finished devouring all of Newt’s school books, both of them make a habit of heading to the local library.
  • Credence is shy at first but once he discovers the multitudes of books just waiting to be read on the shelves he can’t control himself. By the end of the month, the librarian is on first name basis with Credence and they spend many hours discussing about plots and characters and how the antagonist was much more relatable than the hero in a particular book.
  • Whenever they are travelling to far off countries, after a gruelling day helping Newt out with the creatures, Credence will slip out of the suitcase at least once to check if there is a local book store. He might just browse the sections or buy one that catches his fancy, but he always makes it a point to visit them.
  • Incidentally that is how he owns a collection of books in Spanish, German, Japanese and one even in Sanskrit (even though he can’t read them) just because he found the covers eye-catching!
  • And on trips to places where Credence couldn’t go with him, Newt, like a proud father gets him a book every single time, almost always accompanied by the words, ‘Thought you might find this one interesting.’  
  • He even writes thoughtful quotes as messages on the first page. So that whenever Credence opens the book - may it be for the first time with a brand new one or for the umpteenth time with a much loved book, Newt’s words always act as a reminder that Credence has people who truly care for him. He is always humbled by the words and even though he may not admit it, at times he looks forward to the scribbled messages just as much as he is itching to discover what new world he will jump into.
  • Credence gets a lot of books as gifts. Books on Christmas, books on his birthday, books on New Year, books for every occasion.  And he adores every single one of them. He even recollects the stories behind how he acquired them (the places being exotic destinations helps), ‘We found that one in an obscure, second-hand store while documenting the Fire Crab in Fiji.’
  • Credence, who was usually soft spoken and quiet, grew particularly vocal (read outright fanatical) while debating about books. He is an active member of a book club he accidently discovered while browsing for new books in their local library. The club president bumped into him (while Credence was carrying a large stack of books, for reference of course) and was amazed by his taste in diverse subjects. They got talking about how classical books fared against modern literature and both discovered that they had a lot in common as far as tastes in books were concerned.
  • Credence is invited to the next club meeting and he couldn’t help but be nervous and excited at the same time. That was the start of many a passionate evenings spent questioning plot points, character intonations and discussing his favourite books with like minded people. Credence had finally found a place where he belonged, where he could make friends.
  • A year and a half later from the day Credence first found a dusty copy of his old manuscript, on a quiet rainy day, Newt is surprised to find him wrapped up in a blanket having fallen asleep clutching a book in his hand. His oversize glasses (a direct consequence of much late night reading) are askew on his head, an empty coffee mug lying on the side table. Newt turns off the lights and tries to take the book out of his hands but surprisingly, Credence clutches it harder in his sleep, refusing to let go.
  • Newt smiles, looking at the now much loved copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them that he had first given him. Love affairs could start with the smallest of things.

Originally posted by hayatsokaklarda

Disclaimer: I don’t own Credence or any other character of FBAWTFT, JKR does. Credits of the GIF to its wonderful creator. I honestly feel like that’s how Credence reads! 

anonymous asked:

I was wondering if you knew some good enemies to lovers fics? Those are my complete favorite and I've only seen a couple around

Sure do! These are just a few of my favourites in this category. 

~MM

born losers by @sylwrites

Rated: Mature  Chapters: 10/10

Summary: For years, Jughead’s life has been about Jellybean. Now that she’s off to college, he can start picking up where he’d left off.Two things might complicate this a bit: being named best man in his childhood friend’s wedding, and the bride’s maid of honour.

Girls on Film by @malmo722

Rated: Mature  Chapters: 2/2

Summary:  After insulting every major supermodel in the business, world-renowned fashion photographer, Jughead Jones, is paired with up-and-coming model, Betty Cooper.

He was Gone by @bettyl0vesjuggie

Rated: Teen and Up  Chapters: 27/27

Summary:  Three years ago, Jughead Jones vanished.
He had been an ever-present force of happiness and friendship in Betty’s life. He meant a constant flow of greasy burgers and sickeningly sweet milkshakes, of dry humour and playful teasing, of too much imagination and too little time, of endless mischief and adventures, of mutual support and unconditional love…
And then he was gone.
Worse still, she had no idea why.

Love to Hate You by @iamdarkandtwisty

Rated: Teen and Up  Chapters: 11/11

Summary:  AU - There is something about the way she looks at him. The way her cheeks flush and her beautiful green eyes sparkle. Like she wants to wrap her hands around his neck and strangle him, but she thinks better of it. It amuses him like nothing else. No other woman has been able to fire him up like Betty Cooper. And yet he hates her.

The Serpent and the Swan by @jugandbettsdetectiveagency

Rated: Mature  Chapters: 9/12

Summary:  After expecting a marriage to Prince Archibald, Princess Elizabeth is shocked to hear of her new match to Prince Forsythe - a Serpent. What begins as a less than ideal match soon turns into something quite different, but nothing is ever as it seems when it comes to royalty.

Dorian couldn’t help but marvel at the practiced ease with which he and Elden went about their morning or evening routines, weaving together like a dance, passing a brush here or a bit of armor there and sometimes even stealing the occasional kiss. Somehow, even from the beginning, this had all felt so natural, their routines becoming so entwined without either of them noticing. Now, it simply felt as though they had always done it this way, together.

That is, except for how it made Dorian feel, because in that sense it was so, so different and he wasn’t sure he would ever be the same again. Even the most mundane of tasks seemed to take on new meaning with this shared experience. Dorian’s routines no longer belonged to him alone and that knowledge managed to breathe new life into what had once been a drudgery simply tasks to perform before the day began.

As much as Dorian hated mornings, somehow waking up beside Elden, feeling a kiss on his temple before they rose together with a reluctant groan, assisting one another with hard to reach buckles or locating that pesky sock that always seems to vanish, felt intimate in ways that felt so foreign. Somehow he and Elden were always finding new ways to be intimate, little things that Dorian probably wouldn’t have paid any mind to before, but now were terrifying in their depth of meaning. Unsettling in some ways, yes, but so much better than anything he could have imagined.

These details of their lives, sometimes private but mostly irrelevant, shouldn’t have meant anything, he told himself over and over again, and yet now it felt like belonging. It felt like normalcy and there was a comfort in that, in having this single person be the first and last thing he saw in a day, and it was something he could trust in despite all his fears and concerns. Because Elden was someone he could trust in.

And he found himself wishing these stolen moments before the sun had risen, when they were both clumsy and barely awake, or long after the sun had set when they were so tired they could barely manage to crawl into bed together, could last so much longer. Dorian would always treasure Elden’s groggy voice or sleep-mussed hair, or even just the way he pulled on his shirt, a casual motion that wasn’t in the least meant to be alluring, but it was Elden, and there were distinct movements in his actions that were his alone, patterns, like the way he hunched his shoulders, that echoed through everything he did, and that alone was enough to bring a fond smile to Dorian’s lips.

Today Dorian couldn’t help but sit there in the Inquisitor’s quarters, only halfway done applying his kohl, distracted by the sheer weight of all of this. There had been no hesitancy in Elden, no attempts to hide his vulnerability when the two of them were together. On the contrary, he was constantly opening himself up to Dorian, willing to give all without ever asking for anything in return. And it made Dorian feel safer than he’s felt in so long.

Even without urging, Elden was always seeking to reaffirm everything he felt as well as to reassure, and how could Dorian not want to do the same? How could he not follow suit, matching his steps because anything was worth that smile that was as bright as the sun? There was still his fears of the past, that voice reminding him of how this always ended. If nothing else, a stray arrow could end things just as easily. But for now, for just a little longer, he wanted to hang onto this with everything he had. Because what they had was worth it. Elden was worth it.

“You are so wonderful,” Elden said quite suddenly, catching the way he had been studying him and pulling Dorian out of his thoughts. “I just want you to know that.”

“Well, I am perfect, as you well know,” Dorian said flippantly, returning his eyes to the mirror to continue his task.

“Then you don’t really need me saying it,” Elden replied with a chuckle , stepping up behind him and placing a kiss behind his ear.

“Of course, anyone would be honored to do so,” Dorian said, still feigning a lack of interest as he continued to apply his kohl.

“Then I’m lucky to get to be the first every day, “Elden said with a smile that really had no right to be so beautiful. “Because, truth be told, I like reminding you. You really are wonderful.”

And just like that, Elden was back to pulling on his leather doublet as if there had been no weight to his words. As if it had been the easiest, most natural thing he could have said. And yet any such words Dorian wanted to say back stuck in his throat. Elden always made it look so easy and here Dorian was, unable to respond with a simple, “you, too.”

And as always, if Dorain couldn’t say it, he would show it. A kiss here, a thoughtful gift there, anything at all. Elden deserved so much, he deserve to be showered in praise and affection and Dorian feared all he would ever be able to offer would be sarcastic remarks and deflection. But he would try. For Elden. Because there was nowhere else he wanted to be. Elden’s side felt more like home than Tevinter ever had and as terrifying as it was, he wanted Elden to feel as happy as he did in moments like these.

Perhaps their routine could be altered just a little today, the morning delayed so they could spend a little more time together, so Dorian could do his best to convey everything through a simple kiss. Elden certainly didn’t seem opposed to the idea when he approached and pulled him close, wrapping him securely in his arms.

Autism

So, I think I really need to break down to you guys, what exactly has been going on with me. This bit of information has been eating at me for quite some time now. Here’s something you all should understand that throughout my entire life, I have always felt lonely, strange, and misunderstood. Friends have always been difficult for me to make, they still are despite the fact I have always desperately wanted to make connections with people. I’ve spent my whole life having family and peers whisper to eachother behind my back about my apparent strangeness. Some thought I might have been academically slow ( despite teachers constantly praising me, but what did they know) My whole being has been nothing but people observing me from the sidelines, judging and wondering why I even exist in the first place. Hell I’ve once overheard a bully say “ Why is she even here? What is even her point?” Those are words that have never ever left me.  I’ve gone through life wondering why I was so lonely, and why I seemed so different from everyone else. Wondering why I felt like I constantly had to come into everyone else's world but no one once thought to come into mine. Up until two months ago, nothing ever made much sense to me.  It started with me doing research for a character of mine who a friend had come to notice might have been autistic. So I looked more into it as I didn’t actually know anything about autism. As things started matching up with this character, I began to realize I was reading about myself. I began asking more about autism with a friend who has it, trying to site reliable resources. As I began to read, everything began to make so much more sense to me. But I needed more. I called my eldest sister, someone who knew me best, having raised me. I asked her about autism and if it was something she had ever considered about me, to which she replied yes. She had always believed that her second oldest son was a lot like how I was growing up and had come to realize I might have had ASD when he himself was diagnosed with it quite recently. We talked for a long time about many tell tells I exhibited and still do. Things I never noticed or realized I do because they were so…natural to me. I believe without a doubt that ASD is part of who I am and why I am the way I am and that’s why iI feel like I need to finally say something. I am so tired of feeling misunderstood and I feel like this an important factor to understanding me as a person. Learning that ASD is a very likely factor in my life has helped me understand myself much better and it’s been validating having support from an autism community but I still…feel quite lost and lonely. Because I can’t change this part about me, it’s with me forever and I’m so scared I’m falling apart because of it. But I’m strong because I’ve made it so far living in constant confusion. But It was important for me to write this because living your whole life being misunderstood by others, I need to finally feel like am actually understood.

2

Some days–and they were the best days–I’d get to see Annie. And I’d kiss her like she was the last good thing on this earth. She was. She’d comment on my new scars, the track marks on my arms. She’d ask where I’d been, if there was someone else. I told her the truth, that I was part of a study and that I was saving up for us. I don’t know if she believed me. She’d tell me she was scared, and ask me when we were running away. I’d tell her soon. Soon wasn’t good enough. Nothing would ever be good enough for her. But I tried to be. I tried so hard.

heart (but not soul)

you have to see him with someone else.

you have to see him with someone else every day, and it fucking hurts. it fucking rips your heart into pieces because you can’t have him, because he’s not yours. because he’ll never be yours.

you have to see him and know that your souls will never match, even though your hearts are perfectly aligned.

*

you have to walk past him every day, knowing that he sees you with her. knowing that he thinks your heart belongs to someone else when in fact, it belongs to him, it’s only ever belonged to him. you have to walk past him every day and know this and pretend that nothing is wrong at all, no-one fucked up anywhere along the line. no-one gave you the wrong name, the wrong handwriting. the wrong colour.

but they did, and they aren’t his. it’s not his name, his hand writing, his colour. but it is his heart, beating inside your chest. that much you know.

*

you meet in the city pool one day, and underwater, where it feels like souls don’t matter, you kiss.

*

you meet in the city pool, and you hide underwater. you hide in each other’s lips and eyes and hearts.

*

you don’t let each other go when you’re dry. you run with him down quiet streets in the dark and you lead him home.

*

you spend the night with him, warm and safe in the dark. you spend the night pretending that your souls don’t matter.

*

he leaves in the morning. you watch him go, but pretend you don’t see a thing. maybe it’s easier this way.

*

you leave in the first light, knowing this will never happen again. you leave him with a note and your heart, and you run.

*

you never see him again.

*

he never sees you again.

Dirty

Sami Zayn/OC: You’re out for the night with the girls, and get dared to send a dirty picture to Sami because the girls know how you feel about him. You thought he would just ignore it, but were pleasantly surprised when he started texting you back. Smut requested by anon, literally loved by everybody. Tagging @wwe–imagines, @gelinas22, @helluvawriter, @emmarablack, and @oraclegazes because they all asked for it.

You may be saying to yourselves, ‘Laura, don’t you have a billion other requests before this?’ The answer is yes, yes I do. But I hit a block on a few and have been thinking about this one since I got the request, so I did it. Here it is. I promise if you sent in requests before this, they’re coming soon. In the meantime, here’s an awkward little maple leaf to keep you going.

Keep reading

Allies boyfriend headcanons

America

~ Boy is a sucker for attention. Which means that this relationship will be a my lover is my only friend situation.

~ But boy is he a good time, adventurous to the bone you’ll never get bored.

~ I’m talkin theme park one day, rock climbing the other..that type of shit.

~ Quite level-headed actually, he can hold pretty decent conversations if the mood strikes him.

~ Classier than you might think. Booking fancy restaurants, dressing up, flowers, dancing…remember who raised him

~ You’ll have to compromise a lot though. He’s not the type to say no to.

~ So petty arguments aren’t really a thing. He’s says how it’s done and it’s done.


England

~ His grumpiness becomes almost sweet. You learn that he’s not really annoyed so his pouty lips and narrowed eyes become kinda cute.

~ Classiest motherfucker ever. If he actually makes an effort. His accent makes everything better already, though.

~ HUGE nerd actually. His nose is mostly burried in some books or he is playing Pen and Paper games, while geeking out over the latest episodes of his favorite TV shows. Kinda embarrassed to show you this side of him.

~ He’s sort of controlling, given his past no wonder. Plays it down.

~ The Gentleman decides where the date takes place, the Gentleman pays the bill, the Gentleman provides for his Lady…that sort of shit.

~ Loves to learn more about you. Loves long, deep conversations over cups of tea obviously, just spending time with you.

~ Takes you to many, many rock concerts. Would consider getting matching tattoos.


France

~ boyfriend material trademark, tbh

~ Takes you out for dinner, cooks for you, showers you with love and affection and expects little to nothing in return.

 ~ Loves taking baths with you, champagne, music, candles..

~ Insistent that you learn French, he’s not fond of English. If you’re native language is something else he’ll consider learning it.

~ Gives the absolute best massages. Enjoy sweetie.

~ Boy is a drama queen, so if it ever comes to a fight, he’s more prone to break down and cry.

~ Kinda judgy…likes to dress you up, do your make-up etc…still loves you dearly for your personality though.


Russia

~ Weird mix of civilized parties and ballroom dancing and getting fucking trashed every other day.

~ Has, as you know, violent mood swings. They won’t cease when you get together but he’ll see more reason to hurt someone if they hurt you first.

~ Trying to talk him out of fights.

~ Surprisingly, loves shopping. His malls are better than America’s anyway. Will buy you whatever you want.

~ Plays the piano. Quite good too. Would love to teach you if you’re willing.

~ Loves going to operas, ballets and the theatre. Indulge him, please.

~ Probably the one who thinks about marriage the earliest.


China

~ Private jet and traveling around the world just to see every Chinatown in existence

~ Loves spending money on you, like loooves it. Just say what you want and you’ll get it.

~ Obviously loves cooking aswell especially when you’re sitting right next to him. No don’t bother helping, he loves treating you.

~ Very proud of his own culture so expect to be ‘’easternized’’ in a quick time (if you’re not from Asia already). Traditional costumes, chinese food all the way, festivals, music, pop culture etc.etc…

~ Fantastic storyteller. Loves lounging with you, telling you stories of the past. And you’ll never hear the same story twise considering how long he’s been around.


Canada

~ husband material trademark  take that papa france

~ Groggy mornings, delicious breakfast, sweet nothings and blushing.

~ Leaves notes all over the place for you. I love you, You’re amazing, You’re so beautiful

~ Level-headed, knows how to take care of you.

~ Not just the romanitc but the domestic aspect. Pays bills on time, fixes the plumbing, cleans up after himself, appreciates you doing what you do.

~ But boy does he know how to romance you. When he whips out the French you’re butter in his hands.

~ Kind of a mother hen. Genuinly enjoys taking care of you and protecting you. Tends to become a helicopter mum if you don’t intercept

~ All in all, the sweetest boi.

anonymous asked:

Enemies to lovers? Love your guys account!

“ Any friends to lovers or enemies to friends to lovers wips??❤❤ Love your blog xoxo “

Well, thank you guys. 

First: I rec’ed completed enemies to lovers fics a few days ago. 

Second: 

Blue Sunshine and Golden Rain by  AquaMarinara (5/?)

WIP / Rating: Teen up

Summary: Betty is Editor in Chief of renowned newspaper The Blue and Gold. Her life is seemingly perfect, but as she befriends her latest intern, Jellybean Jones, the world will finally get to see the dark underbelly of Betty Cooper’s past.

or An angsty story about how Betty and Jughead found each other and helped each other heal emotional and physical wounds (plus some much-needed Jellybean and Betty bonding).


Don’t Know Me by  @annioe​ (6/?)

WIP / Rating: Not Rated

Summary:  Everything seems so great in Jughead’s life. He’s a part of a wealthy family, he’s got all the girls fawning over him, he’s getting great grades. One thing. Betty Cooper can’t stand him. He’s arrogant, rude and just awful. But Betty soon finds out not everything seems to be cut and dry for the beanie wearing boy.


The Serpent and The Swan by @jugandbettsdetectiveagency​ (8/12)

WIP/ Rating: Mature

Summary:  After expecting a marriage to Prince Archibald, Princess Elizabeth is shocked to hear of her new match to Prince Forsythe - a Serpent. What begins as a less than ideal match soon turns into something quite different, but nothing is ever as it seems when it comes to royalty.


Cake and cardigans by @heytherejones​ (Chapter 26) 

Oneshot / Rating: Explicit (SMUT)


Love to Hate You by @iamdarkandtwisty​ (3/11) 

WIP / Rating: Teen up

Summary:  There is something about the way she looks at him. The way her cheeks flush and her beautiful green eyes sparkle. Like she wants to wrap her hands around his neck and strangle him, but she thinks better of it. It amuses him like nothing else. No other woman has been able to fire him up like Betty Cooper. And yet he hates her.


Wet socks by  @fairytelling ( 3/15) 

WIP / Rating: Teen up

Summary: In order to avoid her overbearing mother, Betty Cooper decides to put an ocean between them and attend university in England. The last thing she expects is to get caught up in what seems to be the plot line of a cheesy Regency era novel. And yet, here she is.
A modern Pride and Prejudice AU.


Girls On Film by  @bughead-fic-request (2/2) 

Complete / Rating: Mature

Summary:  After insulting every major supermodel in the business, world renowned fashion photographer, Jughead Jones, is paired with up-and-coming model, Betty Cooper.


Interstate Love Song  by @juggieheadcoopers (3/?)

WIP / Rating: General

Summary: Betty Cooper is a down-on-her-luck college student who is in danger of losing her spot on her school’s newspaper. She’s given one last chance to prove herself by conducting an interview with the lead singer of an up and coming indie band, Archie Andrews. When she’s thrown next to a freelance photojournalist who is the opposite of Betty in every way possible at the concert, things go sour in the worst ways when their most prized possessions get packed up with the band’s equipment and they’re forced to travel the road together to retrieve them.

-C

Hockey Camp - Auston Matthews (Part 10)

Auston Matthews x Reader

Word Count: 1820

Warnings: None?

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9]

PART TEN

Auston stays true to his word. You’ve just finished re-wrapping your ace bandage around your ribs and are waiting for Steph to get back so you can walk to dinner together when he knocks at the door.

“Come in!”

He walks in, cheeks flushed from dryland and his hair still wet from his post-workout shower.

“Hey,” you say quietly, shy all of a sudden.

“Hey yourself,” he replies, throwing himself down onto your bed. But he doesn’t quite fit, the lower half of his legs hanging off the end of the bed frame. He sighs loudly.

You hold back a laugh. “Rough day?”

“Circuit training,” he groans.

“Ugh - the worst. I’m actually glad I didn’t have to go.” When Auston gives you a strange look, you add quickly, “don’t tell anyone I said that.”

He grins. “I would never.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“No one would believe me.”

“True enough.” You sigh and sit down on Steph’s bed opposite to him. He’s closed his eyes, and you peer closer at the deep purple circles under them. He looks exhausted. “You gonna fall asleep on me?”

“Maybe,” he murmurs.

You smile to yourself as you stand up. “Alright, make yourself at home. I’ll be back later - Steph’s probably forgotten that she was going to walk with me to dinner. Do you want me to get you anything?”

He says something imperceptible, his words muffled by the pillow.

“Is that a yes or no?”

“Mmphf.” He props himself up onto his elbows. “It’s a no - but wait, don’t go to dinner.” He catches your wrist with his hand and looks up at you with pleading eyes.

“Auston, as much as the idea of staying here and cuddling with you is tempting,” you say and his cheeks redden more than they already are. “I didn’t have lunch, and so I’m a bit hangry.”

“What’s that?”

“Hungry plus angry. I’m not a nice person to be around when I’m like this.”

“Now it all makes sense.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “So will you let me go?” You look pointedly down at his hand, which is still wrapped around your wrist.

He releases his grip on you. “Yes - but not to the mess hall. I have a surprise for you.”

You raise an eyebrow and cross your arms. Your stomach clenches angrily. “This surprise better involve food, otherwise I don’t think you’ll be around for much longer.”

“I think you’ll be pleased with what I have in mind.”


Five minutes later, the two of you are standing in front of a sleek-looking black BMW.

“Whose car is this?” You peer around to look at the Ontario license plate. “Definitely not yours, considering you’re an Arizona boy.”

“It’s Mitch’s.”

You turn to him, exasperated. “You made me walk all the way over here to show off your friend’s car? I swear to god, boys think that if they have some fancy ass car-”

“Get in.”

“What do you mean ‘get in’? This is Mitch’s car! I’m going to the mess-”

“Y/N,” he says, his voice strained. “It’s part of the surprise - just get in the car.” He opens the passenger door.

“Oh. Okay, sorry.” You walk around to the passenger side, sliding in and closing the door behind you. You notice begrudgingly that the interior is all black leather. Mitch has good taste.

Auston hops into the driver’s seat and starts the car.

“Should I trust you to be driving?”

He looks over at you as he switches the car into reverse. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what you think it means.”

“And what would that be?” He pulls out of the camp’s front entrance and a little thrill shoots through you.

“Do I need to call an Uber? Is an American license even valid here? Do you even have a license?”

“Do you want food or not?”

“So that’s a no on the license then?” You pull out your phone, pretending to open your Uber app.

“Y/N, stop.” Auston laughs, reaching over and trying to swat at your phone. You pull it away, out of his reach.

“Two hands on the wheel mister.”

“God, you’re like my driving instructor.”

“Oh, so you do have a license.”

Auston sighs. “Could you please pass me my hat and sunglasses, it’s very sunny and my instructor always told me to wear them if it was too bright out. They’re on the back seat.”

You twist around and grab a baseball cap with a Toronto Maple Leafs’ logo stitched onto it and a pair of black shades.

“Ooh, the Leafs. Nice choice,” you say, sticking the hat on your head and placing the glasses in his outstretched hand.

“Where’s the hat?” He answers his own question when he turns his head. He does a double take. “It looks really good on you.”

“Thanks.” You blush and pull the cap further down on your head. He puts on his sunglasses and grins at you.


Ten minutes later, you’ve driven all the way into the neighbouring town. Several quaint shops line the sides of the road, each one different from the next, their hand-painted signs advertising fresh produce, home-baked goods, and the like. Normally you prefer the busyness of the city, but this place oozes a small-town charm that you can’t resist. You feel yourself eagerly leaning towards the window, trying to take everything in.

Auston notices this. “You that hungry?”

“What?” You jump back, slightly startled by his voice.

“You were practically climbing out the window towards that bakery.”

“Maybe I was just trying to escape from you.”

“Seems like it. We’re almost there, don’t worry,” he answers your unspoken question.

He turns on to the next street and parks the car parallel to the curb. “It’s just a short walk from here.”

You both get out of the car, and you climb up onto the sidewalk and wait as he locks the doors. “All good. Let’s go.” He reaches over and takes your hand. “This okay?” He nods at your intertwined hands.

“Um-uh-yes,” you stammer, blushing furiously. All he has to do is hold your hand and you’re rendered speechless.

You both walk down the street past a clump of trees, revealing a small restaurant tucked in among the long line of pines.

“Okay, so I talked to Steph and tried to figure out where it would be best to go and what you like to eat and this place matched up with most of what she said, but if you don’t like it we could go somewhere else or I’ll drive back to camp or even-”

“Auston, relax. I’m sure it will be perfect.”

He lets out a huge breath. “Okay, because I was really nervous that I would drive out here to surprise you but then you wouldn’t like anything.”

“You are honestly so adorable,” you say bluntly and Auston flushes red from head to toe. “But I am the least picky eater ever, so you had nothing to worry about.” You squeeze his hand and look up at him.

He smiles and squeezes your hand back. “I’ll remember that for next time.”

You both walk into the restaurant, but instead of sitting down like you expect, he whispers something into the host’s ear. The host nods and then disappears. A minute later he reappears with a large bag of something. Auston slips him some cash and thanks him, before leading you out the door.

“That was like some sort of drug deal.”

“It was like what?” He turns to look at you, surprised.

“A drug deal. You walked in there, whispered some sketchy things to the host dude and then he goes to the back and gets you a non-descript bag of something, you hand him the cash, and then we hightailed it out of there. Plus, you’re wearing sunglasses. That’s some shady business right there.”

He laughs, shaking his head. “You have a one-of-a-kind imagination.”

“Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it. So, what’s in the bag? Anything good?”

“You’ll see in a second.” He leads you back to the car, where he puts the bag in the backseat. You drive out of the town, but instead of heading back to camp, he steers the car in the opposite direction.

“Is this the part where you take me to a very quiet place in the woods to murder me, and then dispose of my body in that bag?”

“You caught me.”

“Will I at least get to eat first?”

“Sure.”

“Then I will die a happy girl.”

He laughs at your statement and shakes his head. “Just down this driveway and then we’re there.”

He turns the car down a gravel path that winds through trees that overhang above to create a canopy. The fading sunlight filters down through the leaves, creating dappled shadows on the road ahead.

“Wow, this is beautiful.”

He grins, obviously pleased by your reaction. “This isn’t even the best part.”

As the car rounds the corner, the trees seem to pull apart, revealing a small stretch of beach and rocky outcroppings by the edge of a lake. The water is absolutely still, reflecting the bright streaks of colour from the sunset above. You’re shocked into silence.

Even as Auston helps you out of the car and grabs the bag and a blanket from the back seat, you don’t say a word. Instead, you stare in amazement at the scene in front of you. You grab his hand and walk silently over to the beach, where you help him lay out the blanket and unpack the containers of food, which thankfully, have kept it warm.

“Is water fine?” he asks, holding a bottle out to you.

You take it and nod. Your eyes have hardly moved from the lake.

He follows your gaze. “It’s something else, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you say very softly. Then you turn your attention to the boy sitting to your left. He’s staring out at the lake, and he’s so beautiful you’re having a hard time comprehending that he is actually here, sitting beside you, and has put in all this effort to surprise you. An inexplicable feeling of happiness bubbles up inside you.

“What?” he asks, noticing your stare.

“Thank-you,” you say simply. “No one has ever done something so thoughtful for me. I’m so happy right now, and I can’t quite put the feeling into words, but thank-you so much for doing this.” You bend forward and kiss his cheek very gently.

When you pull away, he looks like he wants to grab you and pull you back down to kiss you properly, but you can see him weigh the options in his mind. “Let’s eat - the food’s probably getting cold,” he says.

You tear your eyes away from him and look down at the array of food surrounding you. “This is amazing Auston, honestly.”

He squeezes your hand. “Anything for you.”

[Part 11]

professionalpenthief  asked:

where did ginaxrosa shipping start? and why? (not that i am against it but i just... never considered!?! it)

gina x rosa shipping started because Gina is the driving force behind 80% of Rosa’s laughs and 98% of Rosa’s smiles.

And when Rosa smiles because of Gina-related reasons, there’s a softer touch to those smiles, and they’re I-can’t-help-but-smile smiles.

Gina can get Rosa to laugh her head off. Big, genuine laughs that make Rosa’s head tilt up. Like when Gina tossed a stapler at Charles (2x22 cold open)

Gina and Rosa are different people but have things in common that draw them to each other. Like how they’re both people you don’t want to cross. Gina and Rosa are scary and you don’t want to mess with them. Gina uses her words and spirit, Rosa gives you one look and you know she could beat you up and you’ll thank her.

This scariness that Rosa and Gina have are what makes them so evenly matched. They won’t back down from a fight, ever, but weirdly you see them letting each other get away with stuff that they’d castrate someone else for.

For example, remember when Rosa almost murdered Hitchcock and Scully because they stole her moose tracks ice cream????

Guess what happened in thanksgiving episode 1x10. It’s not blatantly obvious, but Gina’s holding (and assumably, drinking) coffee from a cup clearly labeled ‘ROSA’. And Rosa does nothing.

Gina and Rosa are also shown to have a special, deeper kind of bond that we see through several (albeit occasionally subtle) instances.

Whenever Gina’s being Gina- see 1x16 and 2x07, Rosa’s being made to babysit and stop her from freaking people out/stealing/talking to people at parties. This could mean one or even both of two things:

1) Only Rosa can handle Gina because everyone else is too weak to go against her- ergo they are evenly matched

2) People know that Rosa’s the person Gina will most likely listen to- alluding to their deeper connection and understanding of each other

Another show of Gina and Rosa’s deeper connection is how they’re often on the same side. They like to judge, make fun of, and bully people together. They also seem to enjoy standing/sitting next to each other, (sometimes way too close more than they need to be eg. charges and specs 1x22) both of them crossing their arms (mirroring each other, which is like a couple thing/i’m-attracted-to-you thing)

They’ve also teamed up to solve Holt’s island riddle together and protested against turkey murder together. They also locked amy in the boot of a car- and walked off together laughing

They also really care about each other, for example when Rosa was being all guilty knowing she was prob going to have to shoot Charles down in 1x13 and hiding Gina NOTICED that Rosa was hiding away and even asked her why with a pretty confused/concerned looking face. Also, when Rosa got sick Gina prepared a pretty elaborate care package for her so she would get well (and please Gina who you tryna play here acting like Terry paid u/if he really did pay u pls putting the care package together prob took more money than the $20 you claimed Terry gave you)

AND THEN Rosa proceeded to smile so widely all touched by what Gina did for her!!!

And Gina put Rosa in her WILL if that doesn’t say “you’re important to me” idk what is. And the fact that those two jaguars making love is prob a representation of them is something else altogether

Rosa cares about Gina too, duh. But Rosa’s care comes more in the form of protectiveness, like when she placed her arm behind Gina ensuring she got out of the room safely before Rosa when the turkey got loose and tried to attack them. Rosa also put in a lot of security measures in place when Gina got robbed (although amy was involved too and Holt told them Gina was scared, but lbr Rosa’s protect-gina instincts got turned on full blast when she found out Gina was scared did you hear the conviction in her voice when she said “we are (going to keep you safe)”????)

Speaking of the turkey, Gina and Rosa get each other. When they protested against the turkey murder and Rosa saw Gina about to flip everyone off she joined right in. They know each other pretty well too. Gina knows Rosa’s likes (old movies, someone called 'the vulture’, etc.) and dislikes, and she can very accurately interpret what a Rosa action means. (Like when Rosa said 'bye’ to Marcus)

Also, Gina and Rosa seem to show interest in each other.

Like when Gina accidentally texted “sup Rosa” to Amy and that was in 2009 when she first joined the nine nine as civilian administrator so obviously Gina was trying to hit on Rosa and has prob been flirting with Rosa for eight years.

Part of their interest in each other includes attraction of course. In the episode where they let Gina interrogate a perp, Rosa looks overly interested in watching Gina forcefully question the perp and even when captain Holt wants to stop Gina Rosa doesn’t want it to stop. Also when Rosa unveils her sword in 3x23 as torture equipment Gina looks very turned on no offense

Also Gina is very obviously jealous of Adrian. She only started acting hostile towards him after Rosa started dating him, and please be reminded that this is the same Gina that didn’t even put her phone down when Adrian held a knife to Jake, her childhood bestie and oldest friend’s throat.

But Adrian dates Rosa and suddenly it’s “screw you adrian you’re not allowed to stay at Charles’s house” and “oh yeah ur right Adrian listen to the universe you should totally not marry Rosa!!” And the day before/on the day he was supposed to marry Rosa Gina doesn’t even let Adrian have candy wow Rude

After Rosa’s bachelorette party, Gina elopes with some cashier (prob a lady) and it’s likely that she was trying to escape from reality bc running away with someone you just met (although Gina was drunk) is not something you do if you’re super happy your friend is engaged, no matter how drunk you are, and no matter how Gina you are

Finally: Babylon

Dude if “has secret bathroom they don’t tell anyone about that they work super hard on to make nice” doesn’t scream “domESTIC” to you then idk what to say mate

(Also Rosa bringing Gina to Babylon for the first time bc Gina got sick is another example of how Rosa cares about Gina!!!)

Besides the implications of sharing a secret private place, Gina has a very violent reaction when Rosa wants to tell Boyle about Babylon (and Rosa asking Gina about it beforehand is like- wife asking wife for permission to bring friend over to house), and wants to keep it a private thing between the both of them

“Babylon’s our secret place! It’s the best thing in my life.” -if this doesn’t touch u even a little idk what will

I get why some people might not ship gina x rosa just by watching the show. Some of this stuff is put across in pretty subtle ways, and the things they say/know about each other aren’t always treated as a big deal by the show/are throwaway lines. Some things you see between Gina and Rosa like the coffee thing and the putting hand on back thing is something you can only catch by pausing the episode at the right time. Also many Rosa laughs/smiles in response to something Gina does or says is usually in the background, and you may not catch it if you aren’t paying attention to the squad’s reactions to each other

Are we grasping for straws when we ship gina x rosa? No we r not they r perfect but also the show needs to give us more gina x rosa because this is a ship that has so much potential

Chelsea Peretti and Stephanie Beatriz seem to be putting in effort to make gina x rosa work with their acting so not shipping it = ur not appreciating Stephanie taking the effort to smile so tenderly at stuff Chelsea says as Gina

AND Jake/Amy are a pretty stable couple now, so it’s definitely in your interest to start devoting your heart to gina x rosa too!! Why let one ship slay you when you can let two ships slay you

TL;DR- Gina and Rosa would make the perfect power couple that rules over the Nine-Nine which can nicely balance out cinnamon roll couple Jake and Amy! Sign up to be a gina x rosa shipper today!! All we want in exchange is your soul!!

thecosmicblues  asked:

okay so I'm re-reading Breaking Dawn and this has always bothered me I just never thought about it as much as I am now but do you think Edward actually loves/likes Renesmee? Obviously he was not in favor of her being born in the first place, and I can't help but think that he just doesn't care for or even like her that much. What's your opinion?

I think this is part of the problem with this whole “worshipful” thing SM went with. Edward speaks of her with reverence but we don’t see a lot of like … actual interaction with her. There’s something lost there. Even his Christmas gift of an iPod seems kind of impersonal? I know he included his favorite music on it, but there still seems like there’s something ‘distant’ there. 

Obviously SM intended for Edward (and Bella) to love Renesmee very much. But the show doesn’t always match the tell, and sometimes even the tell isn’t very flattering on Edward’s part (saying that Bella is more beautiful than Renesmee, or when Edward and Bella are talking about how they love each other more than anyone had ever loved anyone else and leave out their love for their daughter). I think part of the problem here is that when you set up a couple as this really intense, super-devoted, “literally nothing matters more than you/our love” kind of couple … it’s hard to add a child into that. Carlisle/Esme’s relationship is different, it’s a giving, inclusive sort of relationship, their love for each other sort of radiates outward to encompass their whole family. Bella and Edward’s love is so focused and so insular, that SM ended up having to walk this line of trying to honor that “you are the ONLY thing that matters to me! I would literally DIE without you!” love they have and ALSO make them loving and attentive parents.  I don’t know that she always succeeded with the later. 

I’ve said before there seems to be a lot of joy missing with Renesmee. Little kids, no matter how smart and otherworldly, are also fun, silly creatures full of laughter and make everyone in their orbit act younger and sillier and surrender a little of their dignity. That didn’t seem to happen with Renesmee and I think that missing warmth and joy and silliness is part of the reason that people didn’t always feel the love there. 

4 Feelings You Will Most Certainly Feel When You're Having a Bad Writing Day

1) Immense Jealousy

As nasty and gross as this feeling is, and as much as you want to say you don’t feel it, you’re gonna feel it. Good news for someone else that might otherwise not bother you feels like someone shoving a sawed-off shotgun down your throat and pulling the trigger. Every good, proud moment you’ve had regarding your writing feels completely worthless. You are the worst writer in existence, and the person you’re jealous of is a shining example of a true miracle at work. They have no faults, they eventually don’t even seem like a person in your eyes. They are simply everything you’re not. Everything you can never be.

How to fix this: Remind yourself that this is a person you’re getting jealous of. Someone that sleeps and cries and shits and farts. They’re not some perfect epitome of writerly gifts. Often enough, they’re just someone that never stopped. So what do you do? Be jealous, but don’t let it grind you to a halt. Tell yourself ‘That’ll be me one day’ and keep writing what you’re writing.

Spoiler alert, though, you won’t be any happier once you reach their level. Self-confidence problems are eternal, fam! Work on that first, or you’ll never be proud of yourself.

2) Profound Sadness

Sentences are like arteries, words the blood that flows through them. Not being able to write is like bleeding out. It hurts and you’re cold and you can’t hold onto them and death of your work seems like heartbeat away.

(I like to think writing blocks are fatty buildups, something can only be fixed through surgery, healthy eating, or a shit-ton of writing exercises, but that’s not exactly what I’m going for at the moment, so let’s move on)

You feel like you’ve never written anything good, and you never will. Blues descend on you. Everything sucks huge hairy balls. You can’t even bring yourself to put these feelings into words. You just have to sit there as each heartbeat kills you a little faster.

How to fix this: Everyone has bad days. Everyone. That person you want to be? That person you think is perfect? They’ve felt like this. It’s the Writer Condition. It’s the Imposter Syndrome. It’s every reason they warn people not to be writers. Remind yourself that tomorrow will come, and it will be different, and cut yourself a little slack. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it wasn’t torn apart in a day, either. You don’t suck as bad as you think. Might as well just act happy, right?

3) Formidable Fury

You’re pissed. The words aren’t coming and oh! So-and-so makes it look *so* easy. Look how many words they wrote today. Look how everyone recs them. Look at how great their ideas are! What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you be THAT? Stupid, useless, worthless, blah blah blah.

How to fix this: No two people are the same. You may not have the strengths of one person, but you have your own. Take some time to figure out what you’re good at. Don’t be like 'So-and-so is good at blank and I’m not’ No. Shut the fuck up with that bullshit. Say instead 'I’m very good at blank’. No need to include so-and-so. If you really need to, ask others what you’re good at. People love the chance to make others feel good, because it makes them feel good. It’s a wonderful, selfish circle we live in!

4) Nothing

There is no greater enemy to creativity than feeling nothing for what you once loved. You look at what you’re writing, and the spark is gone. You can’t remember why you started in the first place. What’s the point? You’re not the God Emperor of the Writing Universe yet. Someone said something nice to someone else but not to you. Nobody knows who you are in your community. You’re a nobody, you’re writing is nothing, so you should feel nothing for it. Nothing nothing nothing.

How to fix this: For the love of fuck, get over yourself. So you’re not a BNF. So none of the current BNFs notice you. So what? Take all the other fix-its I’ve included here and mash them into one answer, and that’s what should go here. You’re only a human, and you’re doing the best you can. What you make might not ever match up to your idol’s work, or that person you hate that writes damn good stuff, or that person that writes crap but people will endless amp up like they wrote a holy text, but it can match up to what *you* want.

It ain’t easy to stop comparing. Honestly, it’s impossible, but you can stop comparing in a negative way and use it as a way to improve.The farther along you get in your writing, the more you learn. The more you learn, the higher your expectations for your work. The higher your expectations, the harder you are on yourself. Be proud of the fact that your tastes are this good!

Now go back and read your thing. If that spark isn’t back, write something new. Just don’t stop because your brain is telling you you’re not good enough. Of all the stupid reasons, that’s the stupidest.

Like the Sky Trusts the Sea

Modern AU + Soulmates

Based off: au where you have a stripe of your soulmates haircolor on your wrist and if they dye their hair your stripe changes colors


“Dude.”

“Yes?”

“Your soulmate is weird.”

“I know.” Bellamy looked down at the stripe on his skin and smiled. “But, at least they’re interesting.” Interesting seemed to be the only appropriate word. Or at least, the most accurate word his friends could use without offending him.

Nate was probably the only person who could get away with calling Bellamy’s soulmate ‘weird’ and not get a punch to the face.

As a kid, the golden band cutting through the perfect tan of his skin was his favourite thing about himself.

Because it meant, that despite the mess that was his family, there was someone out there destined to love him, no matter what.

Keep reading

The Problem: Part 1

Being Theo’s girlfriend and he cheats on you with Stiles’ girlfriend Malia. You tell Stiles and end up having sex. Then you find out that you’re pregnant.

Based off this imagine 

Part 2

Epilogue

Sorry this took me so long to write!

Warning: This has smut in it, it may be really badly written but it is still there.

__________________________________________________

You didn’t even bother to knock, opening his front door and barging right into Stiles’ house. He was the only person that would able to sympathize with what you just saw, plus he needed to find out for himself.

Flash back:

You had decided to surprise you boyfriend, Theo, by showing up at his house. He had told you earlier that day that he wasn’t feeling so hot and he was just going to spend Saturday at home. But he always took care of you when you were sick so you wanted to repay him the favor.

With the front door to his house unlocked you walked right in, trying to be quite so as not to wake him if he was resting. Walking up the stairs you could hear noise coming from his room, like something was shaking. Quickening your pace you opened his bedroom door to make sure everything was alright… and for Theo maybe it was- but not for you. Your eyes quickly landed on what was making all the racket: Theo and some girl you couldn’t see quite yet under the blankets atop his bed.

His door had hit is wall after you opened, making your presence known.  Theo sat up straight to see you standing at the door, the girl with him following his movements, who was none other than your best friend’s girlfriend Malia.

“(Y/n) it’s not what it looks like,” Theo started off.

“Sure Theo sure,” you began walking backwards to the door to leave. “Cause you definitely weren’t just having sex with Stiles’ girlfriend. I can’t believe you guys would stoop so low,” you finished, looking to both Theo and Malia this time.

You hauled it, running out of his house, with Theo trying to catch up with you calling your name. But you couldn’t stay after what just happened and you knew just where you needed to go… Stiles.

End of Flashback…

Once you reached his bedroom door you opened it, with the image of your boyfriend cheating still on your mind. Trying to push it out you looked around the room for Stiles, to find him lying on his bed sleeping. You meandered quietly, making your way over to his bed, trying not to wake him up.

Sitting down softly next to him on the bed you noticed how peaceful his face looked, compared to when he was awake; he was always so stressed about one pack thing or another. Just imagining having to tell him his girlfriend was cheating on him made you feel guilty. He was never someone you wanted to hurt, even if it was indirectly, but you needed to tell him.

“Am I really that hot that you take enjoyment staring at me while I sleep?” Stiles joked, bringing you out of your thought.

You wiped your face, knowing it was stained from tears still rolling down your cheeks, before turning to look at him trying to put a smile on your face.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he asked before you could even begin, bringing you down to a laying position on the bed holding you in his arms.

“It’s nothing I just…” you didn’t really know how to tell him. “I just need to tell you something

He shook his head motioning for you to continue, still holding you, now wiping tears away from your face.

“So… I had gone over to Theo’s earlier today because he had told me he didn’t feel well and I wanted to check up on him. Anyway when I had opened the door to his room I found him in there, with another girl… in his bed, naked,” you started, while trying to think of a way to tell Stiles that the girl was Malia.

“Oh (y/n), I’m so sorry. He never deserved yo-” you cut him off before he could finish, knowing that you just had to get it over with.

“The girl was Malia,” you kinda shouted, wanting it to be done with as quickly as possible.

“Oh… I see,” Stiles mumbled with a bleak look on his face.

He appeared numb and sad, almost as if he could break into tears at any moment. It broke your heart seeing him like this; you no longer cared as much about getting back at Theo as you did Malia for hurting Stiles. His face suddenly contorted, almost angry, along with something else that was so clear.

“How could she?” Stiles sat up on his bed now. “How could they? Why would they ever do this to us?”

Changing your position to match his you tried to think of a response, but nothing came to mind; he had every right to be mad and upset, so did you. Nothing can fix what they had done. While you were still deep in thought, trying to find a way to console you friend, he jumped out of bed and began pacing his room.

“Hey Stiles… Whatcha doing?” his behavior startling you slightly.

Looking up at you now, with a slightly maniacally and conniving look in his brown eyes, he began, “Thinking of a way to get back at them. They both deserve to pay, don’t you think?”

Knowing the nature of his question to be rhetorical you only nodded along with him, trying to figure out what idea he had up his sleeve.

“I’ve got it,” he said sounding like an excited little kid, before his nature changed to a much more serious tone. “This involves both of us, but you need tell me if you don’t want to and I will completely understand.  And you need to know that this current situation is not the only reason I would want to do this. Honestly I have always wanted to-,“  you suddenly cut him off. 

“Stiles just tell me what it is!” your tone of speech coming out in a very commanding way.

“Ok well… I think we should, well… you know,” Stiles tried to explain giving some indistinguishably gestures.

He began carrying on trying to tell you, clearly nervous about whatever it was, until you finally figured it out; Stiles wanted to do exactly what they had done to you, give them a taste of their own medicine, in other terms have sex. You were definitely down for that; you had always had a crush on stiles, but after Malia came in to picture and they began dating you felt like you had to get over him, so in comes Theo, the perfect guy, or so you thought. Even in the time since you began dating him Stiles just became more attractive, manlier. So, after coming to the conclusion, you realized Stiles was still talking, although more to himself now. Although he looked adorable, you wanted to get down to business; walking over to him you decided you should just start it, so you surprised him and leaned in and planted your lips on his.

“So is that a yes to my plan?” Stiles asked once you had broken away.

“Yes,” you stated putting your arms around his neck.

Not having recommenced with your kissing yet you looked up into Stiles’ eyes, brimming with fire and lust, spreading the feeling to you.

Suddenly Stiles’ arms were around your waist, kissing you again; although this time he had taken the dominant spot. You had no objections, doing what you knew he wanted, opening your lips so that he was able to put his tongue in, intermixing with yours.

His hand began to wander further south from your hips, firmly grasping your butt, causing you to let out a light squeak to which you could feel Stiles smirking into the kiss. The noise had clearly pushed him; now wanting to make you moan again his lips began trailing away from the kiss, leaving kisses down your neck finding any weak spots. Once Stiles had landed on one of your most sensitive places you couldn’t help but let out the loudest moan so far that night, the tingling feeling and pleasure from him continuing to suck on it overwhelming you. You noticed his seemed to quickly take a look at them, then deciding that there were enough love bites he moved on.  

Pushing you backwards toward his bed he began to move his head lower on your chest, raining kisses on the soft skin. Feeling the bed against your legs you pulled away, removing your shirt then tugging on Stiles. Once haven thrown it across the room he picked you up, the look of his muscles flexing turning you on even more. Laying you down on the bed he moved in between your legs, looking like a predator ready to take down his prey as he stared at you deciding where to move to next.

Moving to where Stiles had left off before he was interrupted, he began to kiss your chest again, only this time moving down to your breast. Rubbing them from outside of your bra and kissing the part that was visible, making you impatient. You yearned to feel his skin touch what your bra kept hidden, the separation being too much you moved forward to unclip your bra, throwing it to the floor. Settling into the bed again you shifted upwards to where the boy was gaping after what had just been unveiled to him. Reality hitting him he moved down, connecting his mouth to one side while one of his hands went to the other.

 “Stiles” you moaned as you instinctively moved your hands to his soft brown hair wanting more, trying to push him closer to your breasts . He chuckled, switching from one side to the other, continuing the same thing; sucking on your nipple only to move off of it and blow cold air on it, surprising you with the feeling, then his tongue moving lightly over, to then just repeat it all again.

You began to get antsy, despite enjoying the feeling of his mouth on your chest you wanted it somewhere else, you needed it somewhere else. Finally not being able to handle it you begged him, “Stiles… plea- please, I-I need more.” Your words not coming out terribly clear from being interrupted by whimpers and moans.

Sitting up, no longer touching you, he took in your appearance. The fact that he already had you so disheveled only made the bulge in his pants grow in size.  He leaned back down to you, putting his lips right by your ear and speaking in a rough, deep voice he began to talk, “Where baby? Where do you want me?” He teased you moving his hand lower on your body, finally reaching you core; he commenced rubbing you lightly through your pants, just enough so you could feel it. “Is this where you need me?” he spoke into your ear again. You couldn’t respond, to immersed in the feeling of his finger against you, so close to where you want him.

Suddenly he pulled away, leaving you whimpering from the lack of touch, he then moved back look at you. “I can’t hear you (y/n). I asked if that was where you needed me,” Stiles said, noticeably portraying his dominance in the relationship. It made complete since to you, with Malia he was the weaker one, putting a damper on his manliness, but with you, who was just a human, he clearly had the upper hand.  

Focusing back to the moment at hand, now finally able to talk, you gave Stiles an answer, “Right there. I need you so badly.” You really did, it drove you crazy being so turned on with no one touching you. Stiles moved, pulling your pants down your legs, your undies coming with them. You began being flooded with feelings of self-consciousness, as he moved down right in front of your core, hands spreading your legs out. Before you were able to do anything about it, he moved. His finger going up and down along you slit, you shut your eyes trying not to moan. “Wow you’re so wet (y/n). Who did this to you?” He asked, now moving in finger inside you. The change in his placement stopping you as you tried to give him an answer. Adding another finger, but now slowing down teasing you he asked again, “Was it Theo? Can he make you feel this good?” Somehow managing to pull yourself to together you answered him, “No, it’s you Stiles, it’s all you.”  

Your words seemingly on increased his interested in continuing to tease you, slowing down even more, if possible. His antics soon became too much, not fulling your needs. “Fuck me Stiles. I just need you in me.”

Following your request without speaking, he pushed his pants off, then getting back on top of you, to finally positioned himself before pushing in. Stiles started off slow, checking to make sure you were comfortable. “Faster,” you moaned out, needing your release. Your legs wrapped around his hips as he began to drive into you at considerable faster than before. Your grip on his biceps tightened that he started hitting your g-spot. “Yes, fuck, right there.” His increasing speed and continuous movements were bringing you close to the edge. Knowing you were closing he reached down to rub your clit, trying to get you even closer. Almost at the tipping point you began arching your back at the unbelievable feelings Stiles brought to you. Suddenly he just hit the right spot and that was it, your eyes rolled back as your nails scratched up his back, moaning out his name among other things. He dragged it out as long as possible, finally letting go himself.

He rolled off you, both trying to slow down their breathing.

“Wow,” Stiles huffed out still calming down.

“That was amazing,” you spoke snuggling into his side.

A few weeks later:

Lydia trailed out of the bathroom after you. Recently you had begun to get sick, and of course it seemed it happen more at school than anywhere else. With Lydia’s help you had already deduced it to you being pregnant.

“Well, have you told Theo yet?” Lydia asked in a very concerned manner.

Neither Stiles nor you had told anyone about what happened, both deciding that you needed time to sort through what was happening in your other relationships. You had planned on breaking up with Theo, but you found out that Stiles had given Malia a second chance. Realizing that your moment together didn’t mean as much to him as it did to you, you decided to stay with Theo, knowing that you still needed a distraction.

“Well, that’s the problem,” you started turning to look at your best friend. “I don’t know if it’s his.”

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Imagine Dean being turned on by you dressing up as a princess and he being your knight.

“Your majesty” Dean breathed out in a hoarse voice, coming closer to you. You only hoped nobody would just walk in because this would be one hell of an awkward situation. For them at least.

“Dean” you said softly, a smile tugging at your lips “You cannot be serious now. We can’t do this now. Here.” you whispered and gave you an adorable frown and tilt of his head.

“Do what your majesty? Should you be suggesting something, know I am always here. Your servant.” he said softly, taking more steps closer to you and you held your breath.

“Dean” you took in a deep breath “If you want to roleplay I won’t say no, but not here.”

He frowned “Roleplay? Forgive me your highness, I do not understand that term.” he said ever so softly and you had to keep yourself from growling.

Sure Dean in a freaking knight’s clothes is hot, you’d never deny that. But then again your boyfriend always was. And of course you’d never expect him to be so turned on by you being a princess and he the knight but you almost caught yourself thinking about it for real when he whispered those first words in your ear ‘Would you want your faithful knight to take care of you your majesty?’ and it was the tone of his voice, and how rough it was for a moment you seriously doubted it was just his face sword that you felt. But of course by no means did you want… this to happen here, where anybody could walk in. But as it seemed Dean was already into character and he wasn’t going to stop.

Not that you wanted him to, now. Hell, no.

“It is-” you stopped yourself before you can say anything else and let a soft sigh, watching him fully in the eyes; your behavior changing “You will be the one to explain if somebody walks in, though.” you give him a look and he offers you a soft grin.

“Anything for you my princess, you know I shall always protect you and your honor.” his chest puffed out just a little bitand the corners of your lips lifted into a smile.

“You know-” you start, your expression changing slightly “I love it when you call me that.”

“You are my princess, are you not? I am merely doing what loyal knight should.” he said, his head hanging low for a moment.

You hummed in agreement “That you are. But what could you be doing here at this time, my… loyal knight?” you raised and eyebrow and a small smirk formed on his lips.

“As I said, I came here to take care of you my princess. In case you needed something.”

“And-” you whispered, taking a few steps closer “What if I do? What will you do about it?”

“I am here to fulfil all of your needs. Everything you ask for, my princess.”

You nodded your head softly “Everything? You know that means you are letting me ask you to do-”

“Anything. Anything for you my princess.” he breathed out “I shall do anything.”

“Well, then-” your eyes searched his face and you see him swallow thickly at the intensity of your gaze “-first and foremost-” you whispered, walking closer to him “Kneel” you said the word and hear him take a sharp breath in.

“Your majesty” his voice trembles but is way more rough than before.

“Do I need to repeat myself?” you raised an eyebrow at him, your face stoic and as authoritative as possible “It is what you should from the moment you walked in. I am your princess, you said it. You are not allowed to even look me in the eyes, you forgot it Dean? Now-” even the smallest hint of smile faded from your lips “Kneel, in front of your princess.”

“Yes, my princess.” he gave you a weak nod and slowly but surely he moved and leaned down to stand on one knee.

“Good. Good.” you repeated, letting a smile rest on your lips. You didn’t want to be an arrogant or spoiled princess, no definitely not.

“You know it is the standard after all, right? I don’t think you are allowed to even look me in the eyes.” you mumbled and he looked away from you, bowing his head down.

“Forgive me my princess, I did not mean for it. I know I am beneath you.” he said in a rough voice and you let a small sigh “I am merely your servant.”

“No, not just one. You are my knight, my knight in shining armor. You’d do anything for me wouldn’t you?” you whispered, taking a step closer to him and extending a hand towards him; only to stop before you coul touch him.

“Anything your highness.”

You hummed in agreement before finally running your finger over his chin, and the small scruff that was growing there “My beautiful knight.” you whispered “Then do this one for me, will you?” your voice dropped and he slowly lifted his head to look up at you.

“What will it be my princess?” he said almost breathlessly, his voice thick.

“I want you to do something. Just one little thing. One.” you whispered, leaning slightly down but keeping a distance to the point Dean was arching his back and trying to lean in as higher as possible to you “I want you to…

“Yes?” he asked in a rough voice, in anticipation and you bit your lower lip for a moment. Not helping at all in his… situation.

“I want you to do…” your lips almost, just almost, brushed past his “Me” you breathed out and to say his eyes widened and his pupils were blown out to the point you couldn’t see any green in them.

“Your majesty… are you absolutely sure?”

“Dean” you smiled more “Did I just not ask you of that? I always am sure, of what… and who I want.”

“Isn’t it… wrong?” his chest was heaving as he breathed in and out deeply.

“It is but-” you bit your lower lip, your eyes glancing down to his lips “What is it Dean?” you blinked, asking innocently in almost a childlike way “Don’t you want me?”

“My princess”

You didn’t let him say more “Am I not enough for my handsome and brave knight? Am I not enough for you Dean?”

“Your grace” he breathed out “You are a gift from above, the most beautiful sight I have ever laid eyes upon. Nothing can match up to you and I- you have no idea how much this.” his eyes glanced down to your hand that was now almost cupping his cheek “B-but- it is I that-”

“No, no don’t say that. As long as you want me… then I shall be yours. I do not care, neither about titles nor about anything else. I am yours and only yours.” you whispered, eyes half closed as you gazed into each other’s “Unless-”

“Unless?” he whispered in a question and you gave him a soft shrug.

“Unless you’re more scared of what others will say rather than… us.”

His jaw clenched slightly “I shall always protect you… us. I want you to know it, I am ready to give my life for you.”

“I am not going to allow that and you know it my sweet knight.” you rubbed your thumb over his cheek “But if you want to… there is no need for them to know about this.”

“Wh-what?” you heard him gasp and you raised your eyebrows.

“We can always keep this a secret, I promise I won’t talk to anybody unless you want me to. And I’m sure, you won’t say a thing unless your princess wants you to, right?”

“Y-Yes your highness” he said in a low voice and you smiled.

“Then what will it be?” you said in a low and innocent voice “Are you going to do as your princess asks you or defy my… I’d say commands but-” you let a small sigh “-you know I do not wish to use such terms when it comes to you. I value yougrately. You are my favorite and most cherished knight. I shall never ask you to do something you don’t want to. You have done so much for me… in this I need to do something for you.”

“Your majesty, I don’t want to take advantage of-”

“Of?” you cut him off “Of my kindness? Of my innocence?… Inexperience?…Me?” you gave him a soft smile “But what if I want you to?”

“You-”

“Come on Dean, I am only asking you of this. Only one little thing. Have me. Take me.” you whispered, lifting your dress so that you could kneel down as well and be in the same eye-level with him “My beautiful knight, let me be yours. Don’t deny your princess of this. Let me be yours and you to be mine. Let yourself be… my first time. Don’t you want to be your princess’ first time?”

He swallowed thickly, his mouth hanging open as ou could see him breathing in and out heavily “(Y/n)” he whispered and you closed your eyes for a moment, biting your lip.

“Gosh how I love it when you call me with my first name.” you opened your eyes to look at him “Makes this all the more… intimate.” your voice was low and he let out a shuddering breath at your words.

“Princess”

“Dean, please don’t.” you cut him off “Would you rather wish for another man- another man to have me?Be the first one to touch me in… that way and hold me. To kiss me and… fill me the way you would? For me to be his? Would you rather wish for another man to have me… any way and any time he wants? And for me to belong to him and only him? And you… unable to touch me or even be close to me ever again when he can-”

“Stop” he growled and you did as said when it came out in a growl. His eyes held an intensity you knew all too well and that each and every time made your heart skip a beat. You saw his fits clench by his sides and gazed softly at him.

“So what will it be?”

He was literally furious at the mere thought but swallowing down thickly he looked you in the eyes saying as formally as he could “As you wish, my princess.”…

… Before he grabbed you and crashed his lips to yours, showing all of his emotions though it. And planned on doing so for hours to come.

A Valentine’s Trilogy

 For @4wksoffluff  

Summary: 3 different Valentine’s days at Watford. Pining and  Snowbaz. 


Chapter 1.


Snow is all nervous and twitchy. It’s Valentine’s day, and his first one in a relationship. He was already dressed by the time I was awake, and was rustling around in the wardrobe for something. When he turned around I could see his eyes were shot with red, and had a hint of shadow underneath them. He’d obviously been up all night worrying about his first Valentine’s with Wellbelove. Agatha. I know nothing would ever happen between Snow and I, but I still feel a twinge of jealousy whenever that name crosses my mind. Snow has his perfect little golden relationship, the chosen one and sister fucking golden hair- what a match, and I’ll never have mine. One day I’ll just have to suck it up and settle for some other bloke, someone else with those moles, golden curls, and Merlin and Morgana, those overly expressive blue eyes, would be fantastic. But for now, I’m too caught up in Simon bloody Snow to even think about anyone else. I hate how much I love him and his endearing, lip curling smile. I hate that it’s never directed at me, and I hate that I want it to be. Great Snakes, someone needs to save my Snow-infatuated soul. S.O.S for the S.I.S.

  I get up and shower, once Snow’s walked out the door with his bunch of pink flecked red roses (where did he even get those?) and goofily nervous, dazed smile. I’m glad he’s gone, and gone early, because it allows me to take a nice, long shower to sort through my feelings. I wish there was some way of spelling away my love for Snow, but believe me, there is not. I’ve tried- things would be so much easier if I had feelings for someone else. It’s just my luck that I’ve fallen for the one person I can never have- there’s no way my family would be into I, Basilton Grimm-Pitch, being with Simon Snow, he’s the mage’s heir for Crowley’s sake. He hates me, and it’s not even like he’s gay, or available anyway. I’m never going to be in with a chance, especially with Wellbelove still around. I’ve seen the way he smiles brightly when he sees her, mesmerized with her entire being. His golden Agatha. The perfect half of the perfect couple. He’s never going to look at me that way, hypnotized by my hair, caught up in my eyes. So I let myself fantasize sometimes. It helps with coping I guess, until I come out of the fantasy and realize Snow isn’t obsessed with me in that way, that he doesn’t want to kiss me, doesn’t want to touch me at all unless it’s to give me a good shove. Simon Snow is my nemesis, and this is my grim reality.

Simon seems to be with Wellbelove all day. They’re holding hands in the hallways between classes, sitting out on the Great Lawn at lunch, blanket out picnic style, sitting together across from Bunce. I see them sitting on a bench outside the Cloisters at sunset, tree branches drooping over them, leaves framing their figures, and the setting sun lighting up their eyes. Aleister Crowley, how romantic. I let my mind wander for a moment, pretending it is me sitting next to Snow, leaning against his shoulder, deep in conversation with him. And then I imagine him kissing me, that bright red smile on his face as we pull apart. But I snap out of it and head down into the catacombs to wallow in my self-pity and pure loving agony as I suck the blood out of rats like the vampire I am. Vampirism, just another reason Snow would never love me.