Fuck you, motherfucker.
Dear Matt Walsh,
Go fuck yourself.
Your argument that fast food workers should not earn $15 as minimum wage, because “real talk: your job isn’t worth 15 bucks an hour,” is a gigantic pile of entitled garbage. It is a trash pile covered in privilege. I’m going to break it down for you, because you seem to like lengthy articles filled with a lot of comparisons that make people feel bad about themselves for wanting to be able to put food on the table. Your argument is a giant bowl of mac and cheese served to a starving lactose intolerant person: ignorant, insulting, and just mean, you moldy piece of white bread.
Here are some facts for you. I know you genuinely believe that the entire #fightfor15 campaign is based on a bunch of anecdotes, but that’s like believing a cop can shoot a man eight times in the back and claim self-defense. You’re missing the bigger picture, and also the details. It’s lazy journalism and frankly, insulting to the people you’re both addressing and your audience. (And yes, there is a distinction, because people who are living on minimum wage don’t want a comfortable white man to explain to them how he sees the world. But like, we won’t get into that, you anthropomorphic taint.) Let’s dive in, shall we?
The minimum wage has been $7.25 for more than five years now. In that time, prices for food, gas, utilities, and other necessities have risen, but the minimum wage has stayed the same. That means the people earning minimum wage cannot afford basic human necessities. “But wait!” You cry at your desk, which is probably located in a fairly nice office with things like electricity and heat and anemities you don’t pray for every month, “People who are working minimum wage don’t deserve to live comfortably!” (And yes, you do say that, quite literally - “You think the jobs I had when I was 16 should have provided me with the comfortable living I just established in my late 20′s? Frankly, I think you’re delusional.” - so I’m not twisting words here.) It’s not a matter of living comfortably, dude. It’s a matter of living. According to a 2014 report done by macroeconomic policy specialist Craig K. Elwell, the peak value of minimum wage in real terms was reached in 1968. That was 47 years ago. To reach the same purchasing power of the minimum wage from 47 years ago, minimum wage would have to increase by 47%. It’s not about comfortability, Matt. It’s about being able to put food on the table. It’s about being able to buy clothes for your kids. School supplies. Paying the electric bill. The basic math says that people are not able to afford the basic things every human should have access to - and you are saying that people don’t deserve that right.
Did you know, Matt, that if minimum wage was raised to $10.10, 3.6 million people could afford to come off of food stamps? I know you seriously dislike people who demand government assistance to do such luxurious things like eat, so maybe that’s a statistic that will perk your interest. Even though I’m not an economist, I do know how to do a simple fucking Google search and do some research, you rotten moth corpse. Here’s some economics for you: when people have money, people spend money. When people spend money, the economy grows and the cycle continues. Heaven fucking forbid that these people are allowed to not only eat, but eat for a month, and pay their bills. Let’s not even put out the notion that they could afford small things like clothes and shoes. Couldn’t have that, now could we?
Some quick deconstructions of your arguments, because I hate you: 1) nobody actually believes that the increased minimum wage would be enacted immediately, asshole, we all understand basic economics and know this would throw everything into complete and total wack. Rolling the increases over 3 to 5 years is the plan, which wouldn’t throw everything into complete chaos, you actual talking dirtbag. 2) “You” might be able to “put” some links into your article and claim they’re the most credible sources, but I can put links into things and say they’re the most important (and also put “quotes” anywhere I want, you putrid nutsack). Also, a Washington post blog post? Over the United States Department of Labor? Or the Secretary of Labor? Okay, dickweed, okay. 3) A minimum wage hike would not put millions of people out of a job, as you say, and, more than 600 economists have agreed that a minimum wage increase would actually benefit the economy. (Weird, right?) 4) You don’t know what would happen if we increased minimum wage? Seriously? I know you can work a computer, you wet paper bag, it isn’t hard to find out what would happen if we raised it. People would come off food stamps, the economy would benefit, and people like you would actually have to swallow your pride and pull the diamond-encrusted stick of privilege out of your assholes.
At the end of the day, man, it comes down to this: you have no fucking clue what you’re talking about. For a lot of people, jobs above entry-level are not a possibility. Between the expenses of education (from tuition costs to unpaid internships) and the institutional racism that denies people opportunity, the people who are on minimum wage can’t get another job. You might think it’s easy because you could do it, but you are a white male who benefits from a system that oppresses these people. For you, a job at White Castle is an “uncomfortable rung on a ladder to a better place,” but for the people protesting, it’s their only means of an income. They can’t afford to find another job. They’re already working their asses off. You get to sit in a comfortable office, on your steady income, and never have to look your kids in the eye and say, “sorry, sweetheart, you don’t get to eat lunch today because we had to keep the lights on.” You are a patronizing, ignorant, entitled blog writer. “Flip those burgers and work those cash registers like your life depends on it?” Honestly? Their life does depend on it. That’s why they’re protesting. Their wage does not meet their needs. It’s not as easy as you think to just get another job, or an additional job. Recognize your privilege. Stop writing articles about how people don’t deserve to earn more money because you think they’re being babies. You’re being a baby. If the thought of someone being able to put food on the table irritates you, take a step back and re-examine your life. Look at what you get to do, and realize that the same opportunities are not presented to everyone. These people are protesting because what they do is a valid, necessary job, and they aren’t getting paid enough to do it. You’re an asshole. Read a study. Provide a better solution than “You don’t deserve $15 an hour to work a drive thru. But you might very well deserve significantly more to do something else. Now figure out what that is, and go grab it.” That’s an insult. You’re an insult. Gain some perspective, stop being the human version of a period cramp, and appreciate that you can write articles about protests while some people rely on them to eat.
Or go fucking jump in a snake pit. I don’t care.