NO I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT

i feel really good about today but i also feel really bad about today

i feel good but i also feel kind of sick to my stomach

i feel happy with myself but i’m also disappointed with myself

i feel hopeful but i also feel hopeless

i am proud of myself and i love who i am but i also hate myself and what i feel like i might be

i don’t know how to deal with these conflicting emotions so i just kind of…settle into a gray zone where i’m not sure i feel much at all

and i feel like maybe i’ve been here for longer than i actually have been, because this sense of dull grayness seems to keep coming on no matter how much i smile during the rest of the day, no matter how happy or sad i was before, i just…come back to this zero

i don’t know what to do about it

some things i, a twenty-something, am still learning and hope y’all teenagers can learn way faster than me:

nobody gets to dictate to you what you like and why

other people’s opinions are theirs, not gospel that you should accept no matter how loud they are

being critical of something doesn’t mean you can’t love it, and loving something doesn’t mean you can’t criticize it

make your own judgement calls and decisions, based on your own set of criteria. be courteous and respectful, but not a doormat, not a wibbly wimp whose decisions and interests change with whatever everyone else says

two people can disagree and still have the highest respect for each other

you are allowed to cut people out of your life if their opinions and beliefs are harmful to you

you are allowed to be angry and sad and feel negative emotions. you’re allowed. they’re normal and you aren’t broken or rebellious or ungrateful for feeling those things

you can’t control your emotions, but you CAN control your behavior, and how you behave informs people around you how to treat you

no person, no movie, no tv show, no book, no ANYTHING is perfect. don’t let the imperfections spoil the experience for you if you enjoy the thing. be mindful, be critical, walk away if you have to, but expecting perfection and getting violently upset when it lets you down is unhealthy and you’ll spend your entire life miserable

self-care and recovery go hand in hand. recovery isn’t easy. recovery isn’t pretty. recovery is necessary and tiring and so, so worth it

you set your own pace. compare yourself only with your former self, not with anyone else, because you don’t know other people’s limitations and privileges as well as you know your own and comparison is worthless

loving yourself is an everyday journey, not a destination

10

I really need to talk to you, and if you just give me two minutes of your time I promise I’ll be out of your hair.

I’m sick and don’t want to move, so you get Stan and Soos headcanons.

Did twelve year old Soos even know how to fix anything? I submit that he did not. I mean, it’s possible he’d helped Abulita with some simple home repair stuff before—but also, it’s just as likely that he didn’t? He was twelve and his qualifications for being hired were “he was holding a screwdriver at the time.” 

So imagine the day he first shows up for work. Stan’s like “okay, twelve year old that I hired in defiance of both common sense and child labor laws, here’s the golf cart. The problem’s pretty simple, I could fix it myself if I weren’t busy, so hop to it. Here’s a toolbox, I will provide no adult supervision.” 

Stan leaves and Soos is like “okay, I can do this. How hard can it be?” And proceeds to break it a whole ton more than it was broken to begin with, because he’s just a kid kind of taking things apart and trying to put them back together with no idea what he’s doing.

Stan comes back a few hours later and looks at the small child surrounded by engine parts like “welp, I should have seen this coming.” But Soos is close to tears, he’s frustrated and exhausted and probably with a handful of little cuts and such on his hands from rooting around inside a golf cart. He’d been so proud that he’d gotten a real grown-up job–at the coolest place in Gravity Falls, no less! But now he can’t do the one thing he’s supposed to and his fingers hurt and he’s tired and embarrassed.

He starts bawling and begs Stan not to fire him–which, of course, makes Stan incredibly uncomfortable and tugs at his soft little marshmallow of a heart.

Keep reading

our wounds will scar.

When you’re dead inside, but you’re eager for tomorrow.

I swear to god, if Lena somehow comes out of everything as a villain, it’ll be one of the most underwhelming bullshit that’ll ever come out of anything. Like, it isn’t going to be a betrayal that’s going to shock you, just leave you entirely disappointed because yet another character with so much potential is reduced to the stereotype of their name. I need a legitimately surprising plot twist if there ever will be one. No cheap deaths, no “a villain after all” bullshit. Just a genuinely surprising HOLY SHIT THAT HAPPENED plot twist that nobody really thought could ever happen.

9

Richard Dean Anderson at OzComicCon 2015

4

So I’d recommend Humans as well.

[Phil talking about Humans in his live show on January 12, 2017]

It’s mostly semantics, but I cringe every time someone says ‘relate to a character’ when they mean ‘identify with a character’. In general conversation, it makes no difference, admittedly, but I spend a lot of time thinking about fiction academically.

In my understanding, as I came to learn the terms, to frame it specifically in terms of film, though it relates to all fiction, ‘to relate’ is to empathize with a character based on finding the same characteristics, life situation, and so on in the character, i.e. I relate to Elle Woods of Legally Blonde because I am also a woman trying to succeed in a male-dominated field. 'To identify’ is to empathize with a character whether or not they are similar to oneself in any way at all and identification in that sense is a function of and constructed by the narrative, editing, cinematography, position in the narrative, and other building blocks and elements of the film (or whatever those elements are of that medium), i.e. I identify with Guy from Strangers on a Train because the narrative sets him up as the primary point of identification.

To paraphrase how a professor of mine put it nicely once: “You identify with Norman Bates of Psycho because the narrative shifts to make him the narrating character and the editing and cinematography shift to make the audience begin to see the narrative through his eyes. I would hope you don’t relate to Norman Bates because that suggests to me you’re a serial killer.”

To talk about white male audiences, the thing that is said is that they don’t want to identify with a main character if they cannot relate to that character; they’re taught that relating and identification is one and the same. However, other demographics are taught that relating and identification are not the same; so they are able to identify with a character they cannot relate to at all.

It’s mostly semantics, and in general usage and conversation it makes no difference. But, to me, it’s an important nuance, and it’s a critical difference when talking about how people view and position themselves relative to media and characters.

Edited January 10 to add, since this seems to be a source of some confusion: the above is from an academic standpoint, specifically from media studies and film studies, though it is the same in English academia. In academia, the definitions of the terms are not the same as the political usage of identification or to identify. Again, colloquial usage very often differs from the academic usage above, and that difference or even conflation is what is causing my frustration above due to years taking an academic approach to fiction.