NL-EAST

The 15 best things to happen to the Mets in 2015:
  1. #Murphtober
  2. Cult hero Wilmer Flores, the trade that wasn’t, and the night that will live in infamy.
  3. Cult hero Bartolo Colon.
  4. All the hair and the very tall country boys it’s attached to.
  5. Two words: Yoenis Cespedes.
  6. …and the fact that the front office a) actually made a major acquisition at the trade deadline, and b) it was wildly successful.
  7. wefollowlucasduda
  8. The Dark Knight Rises (and had some innings-limit drama but then World Series game 5 happened and he was forgiven for all prior grievances forever, amen).
  9. “Yowzers!”
  10. “They can meet me 60 feet, 6 inches away.”
  11. David Wright’s homer in his first at bat after being activated off the DL. And David Wright’s homer to finish off the NL East clincher. And David Wright’s homer in the first World Series game played at Citi. (So, David Wright, basically.)
  12. Noah Syndergaard’s social media accounts.
  13. The rookies living up to the hype, and then some.
  14. Kershaw, Greinke, Lester, Arrieta. Done, done, done and DONE.
  15. MUTHAFUCKIN NATIONAL LEAGUE PENNANT 
Unfair Generalizations about National League Baseball Fans

⚾NL EAST⚾

Atlanta Braves - won’t let you forget about that one time their team did something cool… five years ago.

Miami Marlins - confused. wandered into Marlins Park looking for a snack and can’t find their way out.

New York Mets - lives in a nice house in a good part of town now, but can’t let go of complaining about how hard their life is.

Philadelphia Phillies - would dropkick a 12-year-old, probably

Washington Nationals - is a dick to you, then asks why you “can’t take a joke.”

⚾NL CENTRAL⚾

Chicago Cubs - lifelong baseball fan since October of last year.

Cincinnati Reds - gets angry v easy. puts chili on Too Many Things.

Milwaukee Brewers - self-deprecating and sorta fun to be around, but after hanging out with them you feel vaguely Depressed.

Pittsburgh Pirates - acts super entitled for no reason whatsoever. complains constantly. probably complaining right now.

St. Louis Cardinals - you expect them to be horrible? but then they are actually pretty nice?? too nice. something isn’t right. don’t go in the basement at Busch.

⚾NL WEST⚾

Arizona Diamondbacks - has literally run out of places to put all their grudges. keeps holding onto more grudges anyway. where will they go? don’t ask

Colorado Rockies - has had senioritis since preschool. only watches games to see home runs.

Los Angeles Dodgers - accustomed to solving any/all problems with money. get ready to hear about how much they miss Zack Greinke.

San Diego Padres - lol jk there’s no such thing as a padres fan

San Francisco Giants - Never. Shuts. Up. 98% chance that there’s a creepy altar to Madbum somewhere in their house.