i don't think he regrets leaving all the BS, but i wonder if seeing the boys win awards & especially when they play really cool gigs, if zayn misses them. ot4 is clearly still dealing w/his departure, all 4 of them. louis is a survivor who puts on a brave face, liam wears his heart on his sleeve, niall wears a blank mask, harry just looks worn down by it (even before he was sick). they'll adjust in time but we don't get to see zayn's adjustment, can't be easy even though it was his choice. (pt1)
(pt2) as much as he was worn out & hated the “fake stuff”, he loved the boys & performing, maybe he didn’t show it near the end but their schedule’s been so grueling for 5 YEARS. it’s understandable that relationships were damaged, i hope time will heal them somewhat, but it’s sad for all 5 that things happened this way. a year off could’ve avoided all this shit. i can’t help but empathize with zayn. i really think he had nothing left to give & felt lost & like no one cared that he needed change
(pt3) sorry, if you don’t answer me bc you’re done with zayn leaving talk, sorry to bother you with it! i still think about him though and after BBMAs and the helium video today he was on my mind a lot.
i don’t have much to add, but i have wondered what zayn thinks of the Project No Control stuff and how it must feel to watch an award show that he may have gone to before but not now. it’s gotta be a bit weird!