2:42 am
I feel less lonely,
when my lungs
become numb
and my brain
begins to slow down,
I can feel
memories of us
start to fade.
I can almost feel
myself move on,
but when the sun
lights the world,
I’m back
to where I started
missing you
all over again.
—  I can’t seem to escape you and I’m not sure I want to // A.H.

sometimes i get this overwhelming urge to light a match and set everything on fire. as the smoke leaves my cracked lips and my fingers shake with the badly lit cigarette between my two fingers, i imagine what it’d be like to watch as everything i claim to love burns to ashes.

this city is too quiet.
this city judges me.
this city doesnt feel like home.
what even is home to me anymore?

in my bubble of self-destruction, i even imagine myself amidst the flames. hot, fiery lava just erupting out of my fragile bones leaving debris in every corner i turn. as the embers gather in the air, i imagine myself thinking,
“finally some noise in this dead city.”

so i scream as loud as my decaying lungs let me and thrust my arms up to the sky. then i take a step out of the demolition and watch.
watch as everything i’ve ever known and could never get myself to love, burns to a tiny pile of ash. i pick it up with two shaking hands and lather it all over my body.
i think,

“some colour in this dead soul.”

—  i’ve never felt homesick because i’ve never had a home

It truly has been an absolute pleasure to go through the writing process of this book.

Starting out, I never imagined I could get as far as this. I never imagined I would even so much as finish it, let alone go as far as to get it out there in the market.

Tomorrow at NOON (pacific time) I will be releasing the prologue chapter HERE on this blog for you all to read. Check it out and see if you like the direction the book is going, and maybe buy it and see what it’s like yourself!

I’d absolutely love to hear your guises reviews of Attlas, even if it’s just a review of the first chapter. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Soon I’ll be moving on to writing even more, and I’d love to have some writing style and technique tips to try out!

I love you all so so so much! :)

To purchase Attlas now, click here.

An amazing Shiro and Allura commission done by my awesome friend @the-vegetarian-artist! I really love this!!!

I’m sure I come across as arrogant, the way I walk into a room with the look of indifference sketched across my face, the way I walk directly to whatever it is that I need, but that’s not the case at all. The truth is that I am tired, usually late for something and the last thing I want to do is talk about how my day is going.
—  //Alexandra

Episode 6 (aka the season finale): In which Tom Sawyer & Huck Finn repeatedly stop the Hardy Boys from getting Chinese Food. Just like in the books.

“Tell me, are we vulnerable?”, she asked him, lying next, lighting a cigarette.
“Vulnerable of what?”, he asked, taking the cigarette from her and puffing.
“Of falling in love and spoiling everything…”
He gave her the cigarette back and said, “If you find me at dawn next to you, I’m yours.”
“I hope, I don’t. That’d be reckless.”
He laughed at this, looked at her, turned away and bid good night.
The following morning she found him by her side and was glad of his recklessness.

-I will be yours, just ask.

Every night I look to the stars and pretend you’re here to watch them with me.
—  Its hard to admit that you’re long gone and the wind blows cold and empty as if the universe itself is mourning what we lost.

it’s honestly pretty rare for me to pick up new books nowadays without their having been vetted for me in one way or another, particularly in subgenres/settings that I’m not generally a huge fan of.

so the fact that I recently did just that, and came away from the experience kind of mindblown by how good the book I read was, especially given my initial wariness and low expectations from the back cover blurb and first chapter?

wow. what the fuck. I’m pretty stunned (and pleased) that just actually happened o.O