Anyone with outside-of-system lives talk about ‘em with therapists? In particular I’m asking non-traumagenic people, since I think therapists are generally interested in connecting other-lives with the trauma, but I’ll hear from anyone.
Any particular features they latched onto? Wanted to hear more about? Seemed skeptical of?
We have a sneaking suspicion that sooner or later this therapist will ask what the deal is with me, and I don’t know if “I’m an ex-roleplay character” is gonna cut it. I want to decide beforehand whether I should come up with a cover story or tell The Goddamned Truth.
DID and OSDD-1, the disorders characterized by multiplicity, don’t work like this. At all.
We are equally likely as anyone else to commit crime, but far more likely to be the victims of crime (and multiplicity literally comes from trauma, usually abuse)
We are not dangerous. Specifically, we are not dangerous because of our disorder.
This movie goes out of its way to portray multiplicity incredibly inaccurately, and in an incredibly damaging way. Mentally ill people suffer enough due to stigma and ostracization. Enough people already think disorders like DID are characterized by violent criminality. Enough people with disorders, especially stigmatized disorders, have been and/or are continuous victims of abuse precisely because of our disorders.
This movie, which places its horribly inaccurate, demonizing portrayal of DID at the forefront of the capture and abuse of the young women, is massively perpetuating awful, damaging stereotypes.
This is not small. This is not trivial. This has consequences. Real people are denied care, denied agency, abused, and killed because of this stigma. If you see this movie, give any money to this movie at all, you are perpetuating that and the responsibility for these abuses and these deaths becomes yours too.
Instead, if you find yourself interested in learning more about abuse, trauma, and multiplicity, I would suggest investigating these topics using resources such as traumadissociation.com
Do. Not. See. This. Movie.
Stop killing us.
Sincerely, a multiple with OSDD-1b, and victim of abuse both individual and institutional.
To every system, multiple, person with DID/DDNOS or a related condition that has been distressed over the movie Split:
I’m sorry this movie was made and that it isn’t getting more backlash or being stopped. You deserve to hear an apology from those who created and supported it, and since you won’t, here is at least one from me instead.
You are not a monster. You are not dangerous. You are not more likely to be violent or hurtful than singlets. You are not worse than singlets in any way.
This still applies just as much if you have violent intrusive thoughts.
If you are feeling thoughts of wishing you weren’t a system right now, that’s ok. You aren’t betraying anyone. It’s really hard to be a system in a society that demonizes it like this, and it’s okay to have mixed feelings about something so complicated, or even not want to be involved in it at all.
If you are proud to be a system and just wish it would be respected and treated fairly, that is absolutely okay too. If you never want to integrate and wish people would accommodate you as you are, that’s okay. You deserve to be accommodated without being forced to alter fundamental or considerable parts of yourself you don’t want to.
If your multiplicity doesn’t look anything like it does in media, that doesn’t mean you are fake. The media is fake, and there are as many ways to be multiple as there are systems.
If you remember or know about trauma that caused you to become dissociative, you’re good. If you don’t remember any trauma but you’re still dissociative and not sure why or how, you’re good.
okay so i feel like people have this impression that
there’s a thing called a “person”
which objectively “exists”, like it can be observed by A Science
and that sometimes, in incredibly rare circumstances involving childhood trauma and the right phase of the moon, it can “split” and that’s what we call did/mpd
and that tumblr users (because it’s always tumblr users, no mention of the fact that “healthy multiplicity” was a concept at least as far back as 1999) recently decided, as one, to riff off this objectively existing disorder and “appropriate” it
when in fact it’s more like
science, philosophy and all the great minds of the world have not come to a conclusion on what a “person” is
not only have we not solved the problems of consciousness but we can’t even come to a conclusion on whether those problems themselves exist, like consciousness and personhood are messy fucking fields okay
ike why are we fucking conscious what is being conscious what is a person we have not pinned these fundamental questions down as a species
all we know is that the majority of multicellular organisms of the species Homo sapiens seem to perceive consciousness, and seem to identify this consciousness as a single, unified, continuous thing we call a “person”, rather than as a collection of traits, an interacting network of people, a system of chemical impulses, or something else
some do not
we don’t know why
science doesn’t know
your clueless ass sure as hell doesn’t know
seriously go read some articles on did/mpd because we don’t know what it is or why it happens and certainly not enough to be Definitively Declaring that other people on the internet do, or don’t, experience multiple consciousnesses, or that multiple consciousnesses/identities/etc can only happen given a particular set of circumstances
we have not studied it enough
but we’re only gonna learn about these things if we listen to the people experiencing them
because guess what the idea that consciousness itself exists is something we only have experiential data for
so fuck off and go read a cute comic or something if you feel the urge to tell people who experience themselves as multiple that they’re wrong
DID is having holes in your life. What happened during most of primary school?Who are all these people I have pictures of, I’ve never met them in my life. I don’t remember buying this. I don’t remember saying that. No, sorry, I don’t remember that. That wasn’t me.
DID is having memories you can’t access. Who’s this person? What did they do to me? How could I erase entire sections of my life from my memory? More importantly, why?
DID is having memories that won’t leave you alone. I can still hear him coming up the stairs. Don’t move, he’ll hear you. Don’t speak, or you’ll have it coming. Don’t anger him, or he’ll hurt her. Don’t say that, or they’ll get you. They always do.
DID is always apologising. I’m sorry he yelled at you, I swear that wasn’t me. I’m sorry she said that to you, I swear I don’t believe that. I’m sorry she ruined your day. I’m sorry he hurt you. I’m sorry she’s not me.
DID is hating yourself, yourselves, for simply existing. I shouldn’t be like this. I shouldn’t be broken. Why am I this way? What did I do to deserve this? I would be better off dead. Why, why, why?
DID is having to share your life with several other people. Some of those people are cruel, and some are nice. Some will work with you, some against you. Some want everything, and some want nothing. But none of them are ever going to leave. You’ll always be stuck with them. You’ll never be alone, ever again.
If you’re tired of the cliche “evil alters taking over” story that Hollywood and the general media always puts out (what with the movie “Split” coming out and everything), then I recommend you read: “The Hybrid Chronicles” by Kat Zhang.
This series takes on the concept that everyone is born with two souls: a dominant soul and a recessive soul. Then after a certain age, they begin to “settle” and the recessive soul is supposed to disappear. Well sometimes that doesn’t always happen, and then you end up with a “hybrid”. The government puts the views of hybrids in the public as “dangerous” and “mentally ill”, and that they should be institutionalized. The books follow the journey of two hybrid souls named Eva and Addie, as they meet other hybrids and fight to free those stuck in institutions and against the government.
The trilogy starts with “What’s Left of Me”, followed by “Once we Were”, and then “Echoes of us”. Each of them are guide intense and interesting to read. Found it hard to put it down ourselves.
Hello all! Here’s the powerpoint I made describing my OSDD-1b and how it affects me, personally. (@crkgleason, if you could take a peek at this, I would really appreciate that. I was going to show you the next time we got together, but really anytime works :))
If you have any suggestions for things I should add, let me know! :)
Edits have been made :)
*is now worried I’m going to get labeled as a faker by the community, because I have self validity issues yaaay…
[Warning, the following
contains some occasional use of curse words.]
Regardless of how “objectively real”
our multiple system is, regardless of what label could best explain what is
really and truly going in between our body’s ears - what we experience in our
day to day life is interpreted as being that we are many sharing one body. Our
awareness of this framing of our reality has existed for damn roughly 20 years
at least, and it’s not going away no matter what.
Every single time we have
tried to “stop being multiple” : tried to shut ourselves off from
each other, tried to stop acting like each of us really existed, tried to tell
ourselves we were actually singlets, tried to tell ourselves we were actually
just imaginary friends or something, etc - our sense of reality fell apart and
we stopped being able to function. Every time we have tried to deny our multiplicity
our dissociative symptoms hit the roof, nothing felt real, the difference
between reality and not-reality blurred, awareness of our body was lost, our depression
hit all time lows, we experienced black outs (the only time we ever have
experienced them) , awareness of time warped, anxiety went through the roof, our
awareness of who were was lost, etc. Every time we have ever tried to deny our multiplicity
we stopped being able to function on multiple levels. We have very good reasons
why we feel we can’t deny we are multiple. Because every time we have tried to
tell ourselves we were actually singlet our whole sense of reality, our sense
of self, our functionality, etc has epically fell apart.
Whatever objective labels and diagnostic
criteria out there that could define our existence - we *need* our framework of
being “many people in one body” to function. That is how our brain
makes sense of not only ourselves, but the world around us. Loss of it not only
shatters all sense of reality around us, but also inside us. We’ve felt this
way since we were kids and trying deny or destroy this core part of our identity
would deny or destroy this core part of our identity.
We don’t say we’re multiple
because it’s easy (being multiple is not easy.) We don’t say we’re multiple
because it fun (being multiple is not always fun.) We don’t say we’re multiple because
this is some game (this is not a game.) Etc. We say we’re a multiple system
because that is the only thing that makes sense. The only thing that can
explain our condition, our state in being, our life.
“Systems can only be
caused by trauma” - We’re not going to go trying to force memories of our
child to come to light and chance the possibility of creating false memories just so we can be seen as legitimate by some people online. Not happening. We’re also not going to claim we’re caused by trauma when we seriously fucking
don’t know how we were caused at all. [It’s the same damn reason we don’t call
ourselves an endogenic system - we don’t know for sure how our system as a
whole was caused.] (Also, insisting to a person they must have had trauma even
when they have no memories of trauma / insisting someone must try to recall traumatic
memories for their experiences to be taken seriously is kind of fucked up if
you ask me.)
“Systems MUST have either DID or some form of OSDD” - Every mental
health professional we have seen over the years have *accepted our being
multiple* while also being wary of even diagnosing us with some form of OSDD
for various reasons, and each have said we don’t meet all the criteria for DID.
And we are NOT going to claim to have a disorder, we’ve never been diagnosed
with at the present time. (Especially, not when we’ve specifically been told we
don’t have these disorders by more than one mental health professional.) Also, the lack of nicely fitting the criteria of either of these doesn’t suddenly mean people suddenly poof out of existence.
"Systems that claim to have walk-ins pr similar spiritual experiences are automatically
fake” - We don’t know where the recent surge of anti-religious/anti-spiritual
sentiments have come from exactly, but if a facet of our religion and spiritual
practices (animist/pagan, spirit keeping and occasional spirit possession)
automatically means our whole system is fake - what the hell? Fuck that. Just
because people have a condition doesn’t mean that they MUST be atheists about their entire
world view. (And if systems who are religious are claiming that anyone
whose religious/cultural beliefs allows for spirit possession/walk-ins means
their whole system is fake - fuck that because what the hell.)