Mr. Needlemouse

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((LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE GUY))

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You can’t just arrive at a million-dollar idea like “a hedgehog who runs really fast named Sonic“ without going through a bunch of shitty ones first. When Sega first decided to introduce a new mascot who would defy Nintendo’s supremacy, their early proposals included a dog, a clown, and a bizarre Mario/Bart Simpson hybrid, before they settled on the most hardcore of animals, the rabbit.

The only problem: Their 16-bit console just couldn’t handle the sheer coolness (or hardware demands) of the rabbit’s ears, which were supposed to allow him to grab hold of things. Hell, this was 1991 – it’d probably take a room full of MIT computers to make that happen, and that was a little more than you could pack in a $299 box. So, no rabbits.

After being an armadillo for a while, Sonic (or "Mr. Needlemouse”) finally became a hedgehog. With an appetite for bestiality. In a concept that was later rejected by Sega of America for being too “Japanese,” the developers decided to give Sonic a sexy human girlfriend named Madonna who would chase him around, implying that she wanted to do unspeakable things with his spiky member.

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Sonic the Hedgehog: 25 Years

So today is the 25th anniversary of Sonic the Hedgehog. On June 23rd, 1991 the blue blur debuted on the Sega Mega Drive. Now I may have been born in 1999 and I’m pretty sure the first Sonic game I played was Shadow the Hedgehog (Please don’t judge me) I consider Sonic to be my personal hero. Yeah, good old Mr. Needlemouse is my hero! How? Well, I think today is the perfect day to finally explain why I look up to Sonic the Hedgehog.


My favorite hobby is helping people. And I’m pretty sure Sonic was the influence for that. Now I’m mainly talking about the Archie comics when I say this, as I consider them better than the games. Sonic is always saving people. Whether he knows them or not, hates them or loves them, he’s always saving the day with a smile.

Ok these aren’t a lot of examples but hey its enough for me. Sonic is the hero, but like all good heroes, it doesn’t stop at the smile. Unlike most of the games, he has other emotions other than cocky.

But he never gets discouraged, Sonic bounces right back and is ready to kick some ass!

There’s not much else I can say. Sonic is a good guy and I look up to him. I have other people I look up to , Walt Disney, Theodore Roosevelt, Bruce Lee, but only Sonic stands up above the rest for this reason. Happy Birthday to Dr. Eggman, Scourge the Hedgehog, and of course, Sonic the Hedgehog!

Yeah, you can’t just arrive at a million-dollar idea like “a hedgehog who runs really fast” without going through a bunch of shitty ones first. When Sega first decided to introduce a new mascot who would defy Nintendo’s supremacy, their early proposals included a dog, a clown, and a bizarre Mario/Bart Simpson hybrid before they settled on the most hardcore of animals, the rabbit. The only problem: Their 16-bit console just couldn’t handle the sheer coolness (or hardware demands) of the rabbit’s ears, which were supposed to allow him to grab hold of things. Hell, this was 1991 – it’d probably take a room full of MIT computers to make that happen, and that was a little more than you could pack in a $299 box. So, no rabbits.

After being an armadillo for a while, Sonic (or “Mr. Needlemouse”) finally became a hedgehog. With an appetite for bestiality. In a concept that was later rejected by Sega of America for being too “Japanese,” the developers decided to give Sonic a sexy human girlfriend named Madonna who would chase him around, implying that she wanted to do unspeakable things with his spiky member.

6 Popular Games That Were Meant to Be Totally Different

as soon as you say you’re a classic SEGA fan people start making remarks about Sonic games and you immediately have to be like “look I don’t give a shit about Mr. Radical Needlemouse I’m just trying to put some quarters into After Burner 2 and Daytona USA and Virtua Fighter I don’t need this shit today”