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today i thought of the actual Worst miraculous ladybug fake dating au ever

so ladybug and chat noir exchange phone numbers (let’s say adrien and marinette don’t already have each other’s) and o/c ladybug says only to call her in an emergency but then chat is like “you didn’t say anything about texting so check out this meme”

anyway so it goes on and they actually end up texting constantly and grinning at their phones the entire time. 

and alya notices. she notices them both doing this at the exact same time. so of course now she thinks they’re secretly dating.

she confronts marinette and of course marinette has no better explanation, and neither does adrien when alya gets nino to ask him about it

so now adrien and marinette are pretending to be secretly dating to cover up their secret identities but they also haven’t told each other that they’re pretending to be secretly dating so they’re secretly pretending to be secretly dating to cover up their secret identities.

plagg: “you morons. you absolute morons.”

  • keith: *walks into his room and flips on the light*
  • pidge: *is already there sitting in a chair with steepled fingers and opaque lenses*
  • keith: *puts away the knife he already got out* what are you doing in here
  • pidge: how long have you been in love with lance
  • keith:
  • keith:
  • keith: that’s disgusting. and wrong. i don’t even get - why would – i’ve never been in love with anyone, anywhere. it’s none of your - you have - the nerve, the audacity - lance is my rival, technically. and he is terrible, face-wise. and how - how do I know, frankly, that you’re not in love with him? maybe you are. aaybe you’re trying to throw me off. hmm. check and mate.
  • pidge: so, for a while then
  • keith: yeah