It’s easy to want something in return for giving something, but this Christmas try to focus on the giving, and not the receiving. 

above parr

i think every mormon ward has one:
the creepy family who are so mormon, they
make other good mormon families look like
the kardashians. at the time, i didn’t think they were creepy.
the parents were just…strict.

sister parr didn’t like her daughter,
cynthia (not cindy, oh no), who was my same age,
playing with me.  sister parr had a sort of sixth sense about
bad kids, of which i was one. “bad” meaning
i said what was on my mind, always.

and i had a lot of interesting things on my mind, back then.
i was the only girl in the ward who didn’t get
invited to her birthday parties.

but i liked cynthia. she was a sweet kid.
when the ward higher-ups figured i’d be better suited
grouped in with older kids
(i was a bad influence on the youngins, apparently)

i got put in classes with cynthia’s older brother,
chris (christopher, but we could call him chris).
he was a pretty nice kid, too. he had a great smile.

so why were they so creepy, as a collective whole?
well, there were, like, 5 or 6 of them. all girls except chris.
and they all had the exact same features—
perfect, corn silk, golden, blond hair—
the girls had old-fashioned curlers put in at night—
you could tell by the uniform ringlets and
tell-tale crimp in the hair at the
base of the curl. picture blond shirly temple hairstyles.

and all the parr kids had
round faces, dimples, full lips, chubby cheeks.
they all looked exactly like their mother, only her
corn silk hair had darkened
to a non-descript taupe-brown. she was very quiet,
sister parr. very deferential. all the kids had her beautiful smile.

they all looked like porcelain dolls.
chris wore bow ties:
male version of a porcelain doll.

and the girls were all dressed like dolls.
i remember at 10 or 11, i wanted to wear nude “pantyhose”
and shoes with heels. cynthia and her younger sisters
wore short, white, frilly-at-the-top socks, mary-jane shoes,
and i swear to god, their dresses and skirts had petticoats.

the oldest sister, she wore opaque white tights and longer,
modest dresses. the oldest girl had been allowed to
grow her hair longer. still, ringlets, pulled back in a modest barrette.
she resembled a character out of a laura ingall wilders book.

even then we all knew the parr children didn’t socialize.
their parents had them in rigorous music lessons.
and every kid had to play a different instrument.
the eldest daughter? piano. chris? trumpet (a masculine choice).
cynthia? violin. and so on.

so when they
performed in church, it was this mini-symphony of
porcelain dolls, playing pleasant, pretty, plainsong—

they excelled academically.
they were way above par, all.
back then, they were just “the parrs.”
weird, but, you know. part of the weirdness that
was a mormon-saturated community.
as i look back, i can’t help but think
“stepford” and “creepy,” though.

i remember their father’s face. he was not a friendly man.
his countenance was sort of…dusty, as if you could
blow on his skin and reveal a healthy, peach glow.
dusty, and dark. brooding.

i remember sensing an exacting cruelty in him.
i also had a sixth sense, and i could feel and smell cruelty
off a person like when a dog’s ears prick at rustling

i tried finding cynthia online once. she’s gone. disappeared
into the bowels of mormondom, as surely all her female
siblings are. no social media presence.
no professional affiliations.

but i would love to talk to her again—
tell her that back in the day, i thought she was all right.

it’s funny—
when i looked for chris, i found him. it was easy.
as expected, unspoken but somehow
assumed by all, he is a prominent utah doctor.

i found him online in a physicians group. he’s
a specialist. i looked at his face, one i haven’t seen for
over 30 years. i was surprised.
i no longer saw his mother in him; he’d even lost
her beautiful smile.

who i saw was his father: a fine, dark dust
covering his face.
an exacting glimmer in his eye.

i had an impulse to call him.
i wanted to call him and say, chris, do you remember me?
how are you?
what is that dark dust you have
covering your face? why does your smile turn
down at the corners, now?
are you happy, chris?

i wonder what he would say.
i wonder if he would even know what to say.

© j.a. carter-winward 2016


God performed a miracle in granting both Mary and Elisabeth Children. See them rejoice together in this Christmas Bible Video

  • bsears5 So unbelievably proud of everyone @bookofmormonldn for what we did last week! We raised more money for @madtrust than any other show on the West End…EVER!!! And we did it with only 7 shows! Thank you to all who donated so generously! And thank you to the FOH staff for always being so f'ing awesome at this time of year! BOOM!

25 Ways in 25 Days: I Will Lift Others’ Burdens

Bear ye one another’s burdens…
Galatians 6:2

No shoulders have ever borne as much as those of Jesus Christ. By descending below all things, Jesus put Himself in a position to lift our burdens. When we lend our strength to those who are weighed down by life’s challenges, even the heaviest load can be made lighter.

• Watch this video about lifting others’ burdens.
• Learn more about the process of addiction recovery.
• Read Matthew 11:28–30 and then discuss with others how the Savior can help us through life’s most difficult challenges.
• Snowing outside? Lift up your shovel to clear an elderly neighbor’s driveway.
• Share an experience on social media of when prayer helped you carry a burden.
• Do you know a caregiver for an elderly or disabled adult? Take some time to visit the caregiver. Ask if there are any errands you can run for him or her.
• Students: Offer to carry someone’s backpack for him or her. Try to think of someone who could really use some kindness.
• Visit for more ways to #LIGHTtheWORLD in your community (U.S. and Canada only).

#LIGHTtheWORLD #sharegoodness #Jesus #Christ #love #service #strength #LDS #Mormon

Made with Instagram

@armedandgayngerous here’s my experience with it. 

I’m a bisexual Mormon boy that has had sexual experiences with men but that was years ago before I was out of highschool and they were my same age. At the time I felt a lot of guilt and shame over it so I started seeking out others that were gay or what not and started getting involved in the gay community as it was known back then. This was around the time Ellen came out on her Sitcom which was in 1997. Before that, from talking with older men and women in the community things had been pretty low key unless you were in cities like New York or San Francisco. People knew there were gays and bisexuals but they never paid attention to them and transgender was barely recognized as a thing in the majority of the country. 

Post Ellen coming out things started to change drastically. I prefer the reserved type. The events and the like before Ellen used to be centered around awareness and tolerance of someone’s lifestyle. After Ellen it was more of the “We’re here, We’re queer get used to it.” And that only escalated into full blow faggotry. Now I’m not saying Ellen is to blame for it, I’m saying that’s the point I noticed a huge shift. The escalation I’m talking about is men and women in horrible clothes with dildos and the like marching and exposing themselves and all of that carnival nonsense that is detracting from the message that these people are trying to get across. It’s ok to be gay. It’s ok to be bisexual. You aren’t alone. Then you look at the parades and the like and it’s so… confusing now days. Gone is that reserve and dignity and now its a monster of a mess. 

That’s what I meant by I saw the party go to shit. I left the group around 2000-2002 (can’t remember the year exactly) because it became too much to deal with their shit. I just wanted to know that it was ok to have the feelings that I did. I did not want to parade it around to anyone and throw my cock and balls in someone’s face. And people wonder why conservative people push back against it so much. If the LGBT community wants acceptance so much they shouldn’t be so open and in your face about it. It’s like those Open Carry idiots in Texas that walk around with rifles on their backs or in their booths every single day. Sure it’s their right to do that but they aren’t helping the cause they’re trying to champion. Discretion is the better part of valor in many cases.


A 1960′s inspired Christmas Special from Broadway!

The Tappy Christmas

Inspired by the televised holiday specials of the 1960’s, The Tappy Christmas Special features Christopher Rice (#Tappy, The Book of Mormon) and some of Broadway’s biggest stars!

Beth Leavel (Tony Award and Drama Desk Award Winner, The Drowsy Chaperone, Elf, Mamma Mia),
Lesli Margherita (Olivier Award Winner, Matilda, Dames At Sea),
Kara Lindsay (Newsies, Wicked),
Eloise Kropp (Cats, Dames at Sea),
Mara Davi (Dames at Sea, The Drowsy Chaperone),
and Christopher Rice

amariemelody  asked:

Oh, I wanna go for the meme, for Burn, Read, Rewrite: "Lestat" by Anne Rice, "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer, & "The Bluest Eye" by Toni Morrison! :D :D

Burn Anne Rice because she’s a witch and Lestat is a Mary Sue in the bad way.

Rewrite Meyer so it’s not weird esoteric Mormon propaganda with strategic gore. Add lesbians and let the Native lycanthropes triumph over the ambulatory corpses of white people.

Read The Bluest Eye, because it’s been on the list for years anyway.

anonymous asked:

Where do you live racist meth lab trailer town or ignorant perfect relgious suburb community that has no fucking idea what's going on beyond their Mormon or christian communities?

Neither. I’m not a Mormon or Christian either. Sorry to break your little white-hate bubble.