Monday is one day

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Stephen Wrabel  has made a strong and beautiful anthem about transgender lives 

“This song is the most important thing to me that I have ever done and probably will ever do. It’s the closest thing to my heart,” Wrabel tells Billboard. (Photo above)

“I came out as gay around 23 into a church in Los Angeles that told me I could and should change; that I was unnatural and wrong. I hope this reaches anyone in need of it and makes them feel like they’re not alone.”

The main role is played by trans actor August Aiden.

I love this song!

Here are the lyrics:

No, your mom don’t get it
And your dad don’t get it
Uncle John don’t get it
And you can’t tell grandma ‘cause her heart can’t take it
And she might not make it
They say, “don’t dare, don’t you even go there. Cutting off your long hair. You do as you’re told.”
Tell you, “wake up, go put on your makeup. This is just a phase you’re gonna outgrow.”

There’s something wrong in the village
In the village, oh
They stare in the village
In the village, oh
There’s nothing wrong with you
It’s true, it’s true
There’s something wrong with the village
With the village
There’s something wrong with the village

Feel the rumors follow you from Monday all the way to Friday dinner
You got one day of shelter, then it’s Sunday hell to pay, you young lost sinner
Well I’ve been there, sitting in that same chair
Whispering that same prayer half a million times
It’s a lie though
Buried in disciples
One page of the Bible isn’t worth a life

101 fluffy prompts
  • FALLING IN LOVE
  • 001: "You're really soft."
  • 002: "You smell nice."
  • 003: "I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses."
  • 004: "Is it possible to love too much?"
  • 005: "I don't wanna get up-- you're comfy."
  • 006: "I will always be there protect you."
  • 007: "I'm cold. Come closer."
  • 008: "I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”
  • 009: "The stars look especially lovely tonight."
  • 010: "I've never seen such gorgeous eyes before."
  • 011: "May I have this dance?"
  • 012: "I can't stop thinking about you."
  • 013: "You'll never feel alone with me by your side."
  • 014: "Let's get to know each other over dinner."
  • 015: "All I want is you."
  • 016: "I could never leave you, I love you too much!"
  • 017: "A fairytale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face."
  • 018: "I want to hear you sing."
  • 019: "I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you."
  • 020: "You look incredible in that."
  • 021: "He/She's quite stunning, isn't he/she?"
  • 022: "Sometimes I just can't control myself when around you."
  • 023: "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
  • 024: "I think I'm in love."
  • 025: "I’d like it if you stayed.
  • 026: "People are jerks, but not you."
  • 027: "I'll share the blankets with you."
  • 028: "I have never felt this way about anyone."
  • 029: "I want this to never end..."
  • 030: "Can I kiss you?"
  • LIVING TOGETHER
  • 031: "I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks."
  • 032: "Who changed the thermostat settings? I’m freezing to death."
  • 033: "Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?"
  • 034: "You can put your cold feet on me."
  • 035: "Your stray red item turned my whites pink."
  • 036: "A thunderstorm is rolling through town and you’re scared of lightening/thunder so I’ll protect you."
  • 037: "There was a power outage and now we have to have dinner by candlelight."
  • 038: "Rock Paper Scissors to see who has to go talk to the neighbors upstairs for being too loud."
  • 039: "I just came home to you crying while watching a movie, please tell me what’s going on."
  • 040: "Our AC is out and it’s the middle of the summer."
  • 041: "You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar."
  • 042: "My parents are coming over in 10 minutes so please put some clothes on"
  • 043: "We’re repainting the apartment and going to the hardware store together to pick out color swatches."
  • 044: "IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH."
  • 045: "We’re watching Toy Story 3 and we can’t stop crying."
  • WEDDINGS/PROPOSALS
  • 046: "I caught the bouquet"
  • 047: "My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years failing to get over them."
  • 048: "We accidentally got married in Vegas oops"
  • 049: "I’m really drunk, please help me get safely out of the way so I don’t ruin our friend’s wedding."
  • 050: "I planned out this super romantic proposal and you just ruined it by beating me to whole proposing thing."
  • 051: "I wasn’t planning on asking you, but it appeared to me that life is short. Will you marry me? "
  • 052: "If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life."
  • 053: "Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife? "
  • 054: "May I have this dance, wife/husband? "
  • 055: "You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m so happy I can finally call you my wife/husband."
  • 056: "I jokingly told you that the only way I’d marry you was if you did this weird outlandish thing, and you actually did it, and I’m kind of charmed."
  • 057: "This is probably a bad time, but marry me?"
  • MARRIED LIFE
  • 058: "We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about. "
  • 059: "Your ‘miracle hangover cure’ couldn’t possibly beat mine."
  • 060: "I know you haven’t had the best experience with dogs in the past but look at its face please please can we keep it?"
  • 061: "I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary, but everything that could go wrong, did go wrong."
  • 062: "I beat you at Mario Kart and now you're banishing me to the couch for the night?”
  • 063: "I surprised you with tickets to see our favorite band… WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SURPRISED ME WITH TICKETS TO SEE THEM TOO?"
  • 064: "I know we had a big fight but we still need to decorate the house for the holidays."
  • 065: "Oh! Hey! Could you come and taste this to see if it's okay?"
  • 066: "We’re arguing over book versus movie."
  • 067: "I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo’"
  • 068: "We’ve been celebrating our wedding anniversary on the wrong day for the past nine years."
  • 069: "You had a business trip and I missed you so much that I kind of tore up the house in your absence like a dog with separation anxiety… sorry?"
  • 070: "We both have nowhere else to be so we get to spend our rare day off at home."
  • PREGNANCY
  • 071: "I bet it’s a girl/boy."
  • 072: "Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant? "
  • 073: "I thought I was pregnant but the test must have been wrong. I’m not. "
  • 074: "You’re lucky I’m pregnant!"
  • 075: "Can you help me up, your child is pretty heavy."
  • 076: "I could really use a foot rub right now."
  • 077: "Your dad is really excited to meet you soon, it’s driving me crazy."
  • 078: "Do you wanna know the sex of the baby?"
  • 079: "The baby’s kicks are keeping me up at night."
  • 080: "Did you feel that?"
  • 081: "I can’t fit into my favorite dress anymore. "
  • 082: "OH MY GOD I’M GOING INTO LABOR. WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!
  • 083: "I can’t be pregnant… or….OH MY GOD! "
  • 084: "I think you might be pregnant.”
  • 085: "It’s 2 am but you’re craving cake and we’re both up anyway so let’s bake in our underwear."
  • PARENTING
  • 086: "I knew it was a mistake to get the twins matching clothes."
  • 087: "Sh…they’re asleep."
  • 088: "I think someone had a little accident with the finger paint."
  • 089: "Mondays are your diaper days."
  • 090: "Our kid is totally the one who wanted to build a pillow fort, not me."
  • 091: "Ooh…someone’s got a tummy ache."
  • 092: "Are you sure you don’t want me to drop them off myself? I don’t think you could handle seeing them off alone."
  • 093: "I told you we should have just gotten that German Shepherd puppy."
  • 094: "What do you think for their punishment? Grounding? No video games? No going out for a week?"
  • 095: "Mm…your kid before five in the morning."
  • 096: "Come on now, I think you’re being too harsh. He/she’s just a kid. Remember all of the stupid things we used to do when we were their age?"
  • 097: "So, how should we break the news that they’re going to have a new baby brother or sister?"
  • 098: "I think we should have another."
  • 099: "Why wasn’t I invited to your wedding?"
  • 100: "Okay fine, one more story, but then you really have to go to bed."
  • 101: "…They just grow up so fast."

I want your Monday morning
sleep soaked eyes
dream drenched voice,
lazy bones
‘five more minutes please babe.’

I want your Tuesday afternoon
coffee break,
glasses off, laughter on
‘just hold me for a while
it’s been a hard day.’

I want your Wednesday evening
fingers through hair
teeth nibbling nails
neck craning, eye glazing
‘this paperwork never ends’

I want your Thursday night
drinks for two
bones unbind
muscles let loose
flats, slacks,
‘just me and you’

I want your finally Friday
stretch soul smile,
sun sipping light
from the glaciers in your eyes
fingers unfurl, hand extends
‘c’mon babe, lets go wild’

I want your weekend.
your movie marathon Saturday
reading by the fireplace
kissing in the blankets
want your Sunday morning
orange juice and pancakes
white sheets, tender skin
hair like the Fourth of July
‘let’s not get out of bed today.’

I want your ordinary
and your stress, rest, release
I want your bad day and that terrible night
I want you drunk in my arms
forgetting the place but never my name
I want your lazy and your lonely
and your fist full of fight
I want you everyday
in every way
for the rest of my life.

— 

yet unknown writer

This is the kind of love I want to find one day.

(found it on Berlin-artparasites –someone pls find me the author of this quote)

2

Bomb threats were called into Jewish community centers and schools in at least 13 states on Monday, adding to a growing list of anti-Semitic incidents across the US this year.

Local media and police confirmed reports of threats on Monday in North Carolina, Florida, Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, Delaware, Michigan, Alabama, Maryland, Indiana, Virginia, Connecticut, and Rhode Island. No injuries were reported.

The latest rash of threats against Jewish centers is the fifth since the beginning of 2017, bringing the number of threats in the US and Canada to at least 80 reported before the end of February.

The threats on Monday come one day after a Jewish cemetery in Philadelphia was desecrated. On Sunday, around 100 headstones were knocked over at the Mount Carmel Cemetery in northeast Philadelphia, police said.

Continue Reading.

soulmate au - peter parker

Originally posted by toms-tights

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: Soutmate AU. Y/N has been patiently waiting for years to find her soulmate. Turns out, they’re a lot closer than she could ever imagine.

Warnings: some cussing

Requested: no

I’m writing a part two to this so stay tuned!! :) hope u all like!
____________________________
   
Black and white have always been a permanent part of your life. Only ever seeing black and white meant no love, no soulmate. Every where you turned, your eyes followed the two colors like clockwork, that being the only things you can vision. Red, blue, green, yellow, etc; were all unbeknownst colors to you. Not even facades of memory. They were just nonexistent, in your eyes. To numerous others, they were pops of happiness in everything and every day life. But that’s only because of one thing.

Coming in contact with your soulmate.

It was odd, of course it was. You could go most of your life being around them and not knowing that they’re the one for years. You had to touch for it activate the color in your life and to find your meaningful person. Once you found your soulmate, your world vanished of the standard black and white tones of the sky and objects surrounding your being, to bright, vivid colors popping out at you from every angle of your sight. The first color to be pronounced once found, is the color of your soulmates eyes. That’s the first time you ever see what the true color of your other being is like.

But, you didn’t know what that felt like. You were sixteen years old and yes it may sound young, but the average age to find your soulmate is fourteen. By the age of thirty, if you hadn’t found your soulmate, you were given a grant and told where they were, so you could meet. Most of your friends had found theirs already, having a happy life with their significant other.

You envied their sweet relationships and ability to see the good in people and the real in everything around them. You had no clue as to what your coloring on your own body was, let alone anyone else’s. Your parents had told you that your eyes were a bright Y/E/C, whatever that color looked like, and your hair was a soft Y/H/C that glistened in the sun. But, you couldn’t bring yourself to believe their nice compliments, due to the fact you couldn’t trust the society around without seeing it truthfully.

That is, until one day in Chemistry.

It was a Monday afternoon, your eyelids drooped as you made your way into 6th period, setting your backpack down next to the lab table. Setting your head down on your folded arms, your groggy state almost swept you completely over until your lab partner, Peter snapped you out of it.

“H-hey Y/N, sorry I was almost late.”

You snapped your head up at the sound of the scratchy, sweet voice you loved so much, “O-Oh, hey Peter,” you slightly smiled, cheeks flushing in embarrassment at the possibility of your crush seeing you all droopy eyes and drool trailing out of your mouth. His lips curled into a sweet smile at your state and chuckled a little by the look on your face.

Oh my god, could you try and look any less attractive around the most beautiful boy in the world? Snap out of it!

He reached for his backpack and pulled out his notebook, opening it up to yesterday’s previous lab, “Hard night?” he questioned, turning towards you.

You sat up on the lab stool, scooting it closer to your table as you attempted a small smile in the direction of him, “I guess you could say Calculus ruined me last night,” you chuckled, opening up your own notebook as you started the continuation of the lab, “But the test was a breeze, so you’ll be fine,” you waved your hand in ease at the intelligent boy next to you with a slight tinge to your cheeks.

His lips pursed in a close mouthed smile in your direction as you began continue the lab from yesterday, both of you having butterflies roll around in your stomach for the duration of the period.

“Okay class, everyone pick up Solution #2 and pour it into the flask when you have completely Task #3,” your teacher echoed through your ears as you scribble down the solutions change of state in Task #2.

“Don’t forget” your teacher interrupted once more, “if you are able to see the change of color from Task #1 to Task #2 please write that down, and if not just leave if blank.”

You felt a heavy sigh echo from your mouth as you skipped past the “Color Change” section in your notebook. You grabbed the second solution and set in the holder before your mind wandered with a certain thought.

Did Peter know the color change in the solution? Which would mean he had found his soulmate. Did he have a soulmate?

The next thing you know, you’re leaning closer to his side of the table, attempting to peek at his notes for the lab. You stretched your neck, the chair almost tipping sideways so you could be able to look.

Task #3
Change of State: solid to liquid
Change of Color:

Instantly you felt your heart flutter and your stomach knot as such a little thing as a blank space could change your entire outlook on that Monday afternoon. He didn’t have a soulmate. Well, he hadn’t found his soulmate yet. The idea caused your cheeks to flush at the thought of having Peter that close to you.

You would finally be able to vision the color of his seemingly soft, lightly curled hair that fell in front of his forehead at times of immediate concentration. Or the true element of his loose and nice fitting sweaters he wore almost each and every day.

The color of his small lips that curl in a small smile every time it seems you embarrass yourself, fumbling over your words while talking in front of him every day in 6th period. To be able to see the light in the color of his eyes pop out at you when his chest rises and falls with every laugh or slight chuckle he lets out when either of you make a stupid joke, both your faces looking down in clumsiness and flushed looks.

If only you could meet his eyes with yours and at that very moment, his gorgeous sparkle would invite you to be apart of him and his love for both of you. You couldn’t even imagine how beautiful his entire being would be with the entire color spectrum spread without his-

All of the sudden you felt a spark like feeling zap from your fingertips. It climbed all the way up your arms, through your veins and lightly touched your toes. Your mind clouded with wandering thoughts and confusion as your head whipped in the direction of the feeling.

Glistening Y/E/C met a sparkling, captivating bright brown and your world turned vividly wonderful.

the first time i drew my actual daughter gylwen lavellan 2 years ago (holy crap), I said stuff about elves and backlight going hand in hand. I have realized that this is still very true

3

Yoojin sharing her Alice in Wonderland phone case that reminds her of us Cheshire.  ❤️

anonymous asked:

Hiiii !! How can I create my own study plan ?? ^_^

Ok this is really hard to put into words because i feel like there’s no “correct” method, but I’ll try!

How To Make A Study Schedule

First, get yourself a monthly/weekly/whatever time frame you need calendar (you can find my favourites in my #printables tag, or you can just make a table in word/pages or your bullet journal). Write down when your deadline/exam is. Your job is now to fill in the remaining time. Here’s an example of one of my own study plans from my first semester at university (obv not all of it, but enough to give you a general idea): 

The difficult part: 

  • You’ll need to write down tasks for each day, but what these are or how long they take is completely up to your judgement. Important is, however, that you don’t just write down “study history” - instead, write specific chapter names, a certain number of problem sets, a certain number of vocabulary you want to study. That way, you can hold yourself accountable - you either got it done or you didn’t, whereas “study history” could be interpreted as 5 minutes as well as 5 hours. 
  • You also need to keep in mind that you’ll have to get everything done in time, so if you don’t start studying early enough, the daily tasks will become bigger and bigger - two days before the exam they’re probably unmanageable.
  • Also, remember that you’ll have more time on weekends or that one night you might already have prior engagements that keep you from studying. That’s okay, but plan around it.
  • Allow some days for rest/fun/emergency last minute studying. I always leave two days before the exam free (the ones labelled “revision” above) so I can flexibly decide what I want to look at again.

The even more difficult part: What if you have several exams you have to prepare for at once? 

  • the same system applies, but you have two possibilities: 
    • 1. work a little bit on every subject every day. pros: you have some variation in your day and that might motivate you more. cons: you might mix things up or don’t have the energy to start on a completely different thing after a study session.
    • 2. assign complete days to one subject. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for English, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays for Maths (just an example). pros: you can focus on one thing at a time and are less likely to mix things up. cons: it might get boring to work on one subject all day, especially if you don’t particularly like that subject. 
    • sometimes they’ll have to mix because you have certain deadlines and not enough time. 
  • Especially in similar subjects that are likely to cause mix-ups, reserve (if possible) one or two days before the respective exam to study/revise just that one subject. 

I hope this helped! Let me know if it works :) 

Hey folks, Paul here for MOTION MONDAY… with Penny Cat in a viking hat! Some acknowledgments:

  • Vikings didn’t actually wear horned helmets
  • Penny’s not actually wearing the helmet either
  • Photos by dear friend of the blog @antelopehorns

And side note: the pictures were taken in my apartment in Savannah… which I’m almost done moving out of! Busy times. Have a good one!

Inktober #6

Oh I’m in trouble again, aren’t I?
I thought as much
Cause you turned over there
Pulling that silent disappointment face
The one that I can’t bear

[Song of the day: Mardy Bum]

Stereotypical

Bucky Barnes x reader AU (short series) 

Notes: swearing, flirting, mentions of child abuse and alcoholism (past), none other yet

Summary: As a PA/secretary, you are all too familiar with the fantasies nearly all men share: banging their hot assistant. Former jobs haven’t worked out for you for that exact reason, and now starting out at a new company, as the secretary for the CEO of the hottest modelling agency in the country, you’re hoping this one will be different. But after meeting your new boss, Mr J.B. Barnes, you’re not so sure if it will be. Then again, maybe Mr Barnes is not as stereotypical as you think he is.   

A/N: Hi guys! This is a little something I’ve been working on lately. It’s only gonna be a few parts and I hope you enjoy it! 

“Whoa, hey there doll, what’s the rush?”

Quickly checking if you hadn’t dropped anything, to avoid any more embarrassment on the first day on your new job, you looked up at the man you’d just crashed (face-planted) into.

Keep reading

3

Let’s celebrate our beloved Flash heroine before the show returns from hiatus with Iris West Week!

From April 17th to April 24th, we will celebrate all things Iris West just in time for “The Once and Future Flash” on Tuesday, April 25th.

For each day, you may gif or draw your submission, or else write a fic or headcanon that falls under the theme. Use the #IrisWestWeek in the first five tags of all your posts so that we can find them in the same place. The themes of each day will be as follows:

Day One - Monday, April 17th
Iris + the Wests (your favorite West family dynamic or scene)

Day Two - Tuesday, April 18th
Iris + Barry (doesn’t have to be romantic, but he’s her most important onscreen dynamic)

Day Three - Wednesday, April 19th
Iris + the rest (favorite Iris dynamic from STAR Labs, CCPN, or one you dreamed up)

Day Four - Thursday, April 20th
Iris + journalism (your favorite moment of Iris as a reporter, or being otherwise badass)

Day Five - Friday, April 21st
Iris + fashion & style (favorite outfits and hairstyles, or some you’d like to see her in)

Day Six - Saturday, April 22nd
Iris + parallels (flash loves echoing moments, what are some you love?)

Day Seven - Sunday, April 23rd
Iris + storyline or au (which has been your favorite? or which would you like to see for her?)

Day Eight - Monday, April 24th
Iris + freedom (FREE DAY! Do what you like and share it with the rest of us!)

✰ * º ❛   friends sentence starters   ❜

‘  *reading obituaries* suddenly i wish i was reading my own name.  ’
‘  you don’t even have oven mitts on!  ’
‘  wow. i could so easily freak out right now.  ’
‘  do you think it’s easy for me to see you with somebody else?  ’
‘  hey, you remembered to put clothes on this morning.  ’
‘  no more falafel for you!  ’
‘  we were on a break!!  ’
‘  you’re such a tattletale.  ’
‘  i love you goddesses!  ’
‘  everyone i know is either getting married or getting pregnant or getting promoted and I’m getting coffee. And it’s not even for me!  ’
‘  it’s   ’
‘  this is all a moo point. yeah, it’s like a cow’s opinion, it doesn’t matter. it’s moo.  ’
‘  so, the ebola virus. that’s gotta suck, huh?  ’
‘  my gynecologist tried to kill me.  ’
‘  you can’t tell, but i’m trying to break the tension by mooning you guys.  ’
‘  boy, you are not a morning person.  ’
‘  yeah, well, i’m a slut.  ’
‘  how you doin’?  ’
‘  i am warm… for your form.  ’
‘  i’m really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.  ’
‘  are you saying that you don’t wanna get with this?  ’
‘  hey, you’re a pathetic loser, right?  ’
‘  sometimes i wish i was a lesbian… did i say that out loud?  ’
‘  if i were a guy and… did i just say, ‘if i were a guy’?  ’
‘  i guess things were just going to well for me!  ’
‘  i don’t have a plan. i don’t even have a ‘pla.’  ’
‘  he’s so pretty i want to cry!  ’
‘  prepare to feel very bad about yourself.  ’
‘  i’m sorry that’s who i am. i’m a positive person.  ’
‘  no, i’m a positive person. you are like santa clause on prozac at disneyland, getting laid.  ’
‘  i’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!  ’
‘  she was nice. i mean, she’s a little slutty, but who isn’t?  ’
‘  honey, this is not your fault. just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify them sleeping with someone else.  ’
‘  from now on, i am not getting out of this chair, ever. okay? from now on, this chair is the one.  ’
‘  i wish i could, but i don’t want to.  ’
‘  alright, i took the quiz and, it turns out, i do put career before men.  ’
‘  look at him, he’s so cute. i just wanna go over there, grab him, and kiss him!  ’
‘  i think, if it was a little colder in there, i could see your nipples through that sweater.  ’
‘  what’s wrong with me… oh, don’t open that door.  ’
‘  let me think, let me think… oh, i don’t care!  ’
‘  i have no idea what’s going on, but i’m excited!  ’
‘  i tend to keep talking until somebody stops me.  ’
‘  when i first meet somebody, it’s usually panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.  ’
‘  are we greeting each other this way now? because i like it.  ’
‘  it looks like you fell asleep with a hanger in your mouth.  ’
‘  you wanna play twister?  ’
‘  once, i got dumped during sex.  ’
‘  here we are, with our future before us, and i only want to spend it with you.  ’
‘  welcome to the real world. it sucks. you’re gonna love it!  ’
‘  hey, you cry every time somebody talks about the titanic.  ’
‘  if worst comes to worst, i’ll be your boyfriend.  ’
‘  who loses 57 coin tosses in a row? you know? heads, she wins. tails, i lose.  ’
‘  shut up! shut up! SHUT UP!  ’
‘  i’m so glad we’re having this rehearsal dinner, you know? it’s so rare that i get to practice my meals before eating them.  ’
‘  you always believed in me, even when i didn’t believe in myself.  ’
‘  you’re fake laughing too, right?  ’
‘  it’s sunday morning, i am not running on a sunday.  ’
‘  ugh, dammit. why did i open my mouth?  ’
‘  wow, we really are bitches.  ’
‘  so why don’t you be a grown up and come and watch some tv in the fort!  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m gonna do with my life.  ’
‘  i’m full, and yet i know if i stop eating this, i’ll regret it.  ’
‘  kill me. kill me now.  ’
‘  i want to sit in a comfortable chair, watch television, and go to sleep at a reasonable hour!  ’
‘  what must it be like to not be crippled by fear and self-loathing?  ’
‘  a stripper at a bachelor party, that is so cliché. why don’t you guys get a magician?!  ’
‘  i’m curvy and i like it!  ’
‘  i don’t share food!  ’
‘  if i have to, i’d pee on any one of you.  ’
‘  the fridge broke so i had to eat everything.  ’
‘  you can’t have s-e-x when you’re taking care of the b-a-b-i-e!  ’
‘  you’re over me? when were you… under me?  ’
‘  these are just feelings. they’ll go away.  ’
‘  i used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me.  ’
‘  i mean, sure, i have my bad days, but then i remember what a cute smile i have.  ’
‘  offering people gum is not cooking.  ’
‘  i bought him a $500 watch and he wrote me a rap song.  ’
‘  you know you should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people.   ’
‘  no, inside good. outside baaaaad.  ’
‘  they’re always saying ‘let’s go here, let’s go there.’ like we can afford to go here and there.  ’
‘  i hate my job. i hate it. oh, i want to quit, but then i think i should stick it out.  ’
‘  you think i have $1200? i’m home in the middle of the day and i got patio furniture in my living room.  ’
‘  neat! i’m gonna die alone!  ’
‘  okay, could you just stop talking for a second?  ’
‘  i’ve sort of had feelings for you.  ’
‘  today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, fifty feet of crap, then me.  ’
‘  why am i friends with these people?  ’
‘  i eat by myself in the alley because everyone hates me.  ’
‘  i’m a lone wolf. a loner. alone. all alone. forever.  ’
‘  my life is an embarrassment! i should just go live under somebody’s stairs.  ’
‘  if i died, the only way people would know that i was here would be the ass print on this chair!  ’
‘  i always thought if you and i got married, that would be the one that stuck.  ’
‘  hi, i make jokes when i’m uncomfortable.  ’
‘  i am not ‘blah’, i am a hoot!  ’
‘  i just realized i can sleep with my eyes open.  ’
‘  up until i was 25, i thought that the only response to ‘i love you’ was ‘oh, crap!’  ’
‘  if the homo sapiens, were in fact ‘homo’ sapiens, is that why they’re extinct?  ’
‘  do you think i need a new walk?  ’
‘  you don’t own a tv? what’s all your furniture pointed at?  ’
‘  just think of it like this: the third day. monday, one day. tuesday, two day. wednesday… when? huh? what day? thursday! the third day!  ’
‘  eye-contact? i hope you were using protection!  ’
‘  you were right, and from now on, yo make all my decisions for me.  ’
‘  you said your boss wants to buy your baby?  ’
‘  why god, why?!! we had a deal!! let the others grow old! not me!!  ’
‘  last night i was finishing off a pizza and she said, ‘a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!’ i don’t need that kind of talk in my house!  ’
‘  you’re druuuuunk. mom and dad are gonna be maaaad! …maybe i’m a little drunk.  ’
‘  let her know i like her? are you insane?  ’
‘  what’s it gonna take for you to forgive me?  ’
‘  isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?  ’
‘  you’re crying over a doritos commercial.  ’
‘  that fake british woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance.  ’
‘  i think it’d be better for my ego if we didn’t stand right next to each other.  ’
‘  seriously… good luck on marrying me.  ’
‘  there is no ‘us’, okay?  ’
‘  i fell for you and i get clobbered. you then fall for me and i again, somehow, get clobbered.  ’
‘  it’s just not worth it.  ’
‘  we are never gonna happen, okay? accept that.  ’
‘  you know what? you’re the one who ended it.  ’
‘  i ended it because i was mad at you. not because i stopped loving you.  ’
‘  imagine the worst things you think about yourself. now, how would you feel if the one person you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.  ’
‘  you were worth the wait.  ’
‘  that’s our baby.  ’
‘  you deserve to be with someone who appreciates and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing and adorable and sexy you are.  ’