I feel like I need to write a book on modesty and chastity because the ones available are just…idk missing the point and going in the wrong direction?

I remember when I was pregnant and had some medical issues I’m not going to describe and believe it or not I had some super tight jeans that were the only thing I was physically able to wear in mass without being in extreme pain (like pain until I faint-which happened at mass), and I even had some full compression stockings (that are meant for like DVT so they are VERY TIGHT) that didn’t do the job like these jeans are. So I would wear these jeans and like a baggy sweater-and I asked this group of devout catholic women to pray for me because I was embarrassed to wear this outfit at mass and they were MORTIFIED. They told me I should wear a maxi-skirt over it or just offer up the pain to avoid “leading men into sin” with my “immodesty”, and I bought it for a long time (not wearing the jeans, wearing a skirt) until I collapsed in mass enough from the pain that I almost didn’t go to mass from shame until I gave birth (I was eventually hospitalized the entire duration so the problem ended).

Anyway-I reflected a lot on their concept of modesty in the hospital and i realized how centered it was on something entirely different then true modesty. It was contorted and putrid and hateful and I remembered their words slapping me on the face and whipping me in the back when I wore those jeans to mass and I wept a lot.

I want a new understanding, I want the truth. And the concept we are all fiddling with now isn’t chastity or modesty-it’s an abomination. I feel like it’s something borrowed from “Christian” cults that shame women and their bodies and their femininity as something not created by God or created for good. We have a lot of modesty concepts as these cults, and we need to just rid ourselves of those.