Miss-Oklahoma

Do you ever find yourself wondering whether or not Stanley was banned from Oklahoma or Kansas, because that X he drew was ambiguously straddling the state line? Well wonder no more! Here is the explanation as to how Stanley got banned from those two states simultaneously.

Stan got hired as a trucker (you know, with the semis) from this little company in Oklahoma. Drive north up the interstate and deliver farm equipment to our stores in Kansas/Nebraska. Drive back to our restock center in Kansas. Drive back to Oklahoma. Repeat. 

Stan actually managed to keep this job for a solid couple of months. Of course, he was running a racket on the side, stealing equipment parts of the stuff he was driving and selling it for more money on the D.L. The company had not even caught on to his profiteering procedures yet. 

No, Stan got into an accident where he flipped the semi. How did he do that? He thought he saw a deer in the road. Turns out it was a piece of cardboard trash. He was about to get sued from the company he worked for, as well as the trucking company they leased their vehicles from, based in Oklahoma and Kansas respectively. Having gone under a fake name the entire time of his employment, he skipped town once he was able, got in the Stanleymobile, and drove away. 

It was a shame to see that money go, he’d managed to do okay for himself in those couple of months. That was one of the tip offs that should he get hired in another trucking capacity (if they didn’t send his picture along the line saying not to hire him) that he needed to get some glasses with that first delivery money if he wanted to keep it. Turns out that’s not what prompted him getting glasses at all.

So that’s why Stan crossed off two states at once! (Ambiguously together. His racket crossed state lines).

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Miss Oklahoma 2012 Miss America talent competition

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Hold up! Alicia Clifton competed in Miss America tonight, and no one told me? And she won the talent portion of the competition!

as she damn well should have, cause look at her (although she tapped for the pageant. haven’t seen the vid, but if her tapping at age 12 is any indication, she’s a beast at that too)

just in case you missed it: Oklahoma had an earthquake and a tornado simultaneously and there were also tigers loose that was playfully called a “tiger watch” and also there was enough flash flooding that they had to invent the new definition of “flash flood emergency” to justify what was happening we are literally writing the SciFi channels next big hit low-budget movie for them. Tigerquakenado.