Mine: Star Wars

star wars movies rated by amount of clone content

the phantom menace: no clones. not a single one. not even a twinkle in jango fett’s eyes. palpatine might be off planning something, but he’s always doing that so it hardly counts. the pre-clone galaxy barely even merits mentioning. 0/10

attack of the clones: they’re here! they’re even in the title! you get everything from tiny baby clones on up, at home on kamino, fighting battles, all of it, and they’re ready to fuck shit up. i love all my sons. 100/10

the clone wars: what can i say, it’s all covered there in the title. the pinnacle of clone appreciation. 1000000000/10

revenge of the sith: and now my guys are here to ruin everything. it’s okay, though, i still love them. cody is here, the 501st is here, and they might be on the murdery side but i support them in all their endeavors. 10/10

bonus entry: rebels: rex is there but wolffe and gregor showed up once, never to be seen again, and no other clones are in evidence. there is still time for this to improve, but while rex is kicking ass, there are not enough clones to give it perfect marks. 9/10

a new hope: no clones, but luke and obi-wan discuss the clone wars, so hey, i’ll take that as meaning all the clones are there in spirit. and you never know,  some of those stormtroopers could still be clones under all that armor. however, this mostly clone free movie is ultimately disappointing. 2/10

the empire strikes back: there’s boba fett! he’s a terrible clone, and depending on what version of the movie you happen to be watching, he may or may not sound like a clone, and he almost certainly doesn’t want anyone knowing he’s a clone, but he is. so there. 7/10 

return of the jedi: and boba fett is back. he doesn’t get any lines, just sort of flies around like an annoying wasp trying to look menacing before he gets chomped on. screams once or twice. not very interesting. also there’s an old guy on endor who might be captain rex, but used to be nik sant, we just don’t know. 5/10

the force awakens: once again, the clones are gone. but! my boys get a shout out! “perhaps leader snoke should consider using a clone army.” damn right, he only wishes he could, they’re the best. e for effort. 1/10

Wait, do I like you? (coloured version of this sketch) - by Advancedtreelover, for Hondocember

I love the Jedi Service Corps and I love Obi-Wan so here’s a series of AU ideas featuring Obi-Wan as part of the various corps:

  • Agricorps: Obi-Wan accepts the assignment to the Agricorps. He’s initially upset about it but once he’s calmed down enough to think about it and read up more on it, he realizes that they’re really doing a lot of work in helping people: they provide healthy crops to underprivileged systems suffering from natural disasters or blight and they’re also involved in doing a lot research. Both things that Obi-Wan feels very passionate about. So he accepts the assignment and chooses to stick with it even when Qui-Gon later tells him that he’s changed his mind and will take Obi-Wan as a Padawan. “I believe it was the Force’s will that I go to the Agricorps and I believe that I can do a lot of good there. So thank you, Master Jinn, for your belated acceptance of me as a Padawan only after I survived a kidnapping but I think I’ll take the assignment to the Agricorps, instead. Have a good day!” Obi-Wan says. Qui-Gon is stunned speechless. Was he just sassed by a 13-year-old??? 
    • Anyway, by the time the clone wars start, Obi-Wan’s the head of the Agricorps and he gets put on the War Strategy Council because the Agricorps is needed to feed the army and to form supply lines. In return (because there’s no way they’ll be able to do that plus continue helping star systems without some additional help), Jedi and soldiers who are on medical leave from the war will help out with the farming. ”How in the Force is that considered acceptable during medical leave???” Obi-Wnan asks. “Farming is hard labor, you know.” 
    • So it becomes that everyone - Jedi and clone trooper - gets a rotation in Agricorps during the war. For every 6-month battlefield deployment, they do a 2-month stint in the fields. It’s a nice reprieve from active fighting and gives everyone time to recuperate and remember why they’re fighting in the first place. Though after the second time someone wakes up from a nightmare with blaster in hand or lightsaber lit, Obi-Wan brings in mindhealers and strongly encourages all the soldiers and Jedi to make use of them and get better (also because someone’s gonna get hurt if these highly trained fighters keep waking up fully armed thinking they’re in the middle of a battle when in fact they’re surrounded by unarmed farmers). 
    • (He doesn’t believe in mandating treatment, though, because that’s taking away their autonomy to make decisions but he does do everything he can to cajole people into treatment.)
    • Anakin, of course, does his fair share of time in the Agricorps. He bitches about it at first, feeling like he should be out on the front lines instead, but he won’t argue that the time away from the war seems to do Ahsoka a lot of good so he eventually keeps his mouth shut. Plus, he gets to spend time with the really cute Director of the Agricorps and if he spends more of his time trailing after him making suggestions about how to improve their machinery rather than actually farming, well, it’s not like the Director’s saying anything about it. (He does, actually, but Anakin sees the amusement in his eyes and he knows he’s not seriously reprimanding him about his suggestions. In fact, Obi-Wan does implement some of his ideas and even gives him permission to tinker with some of their machinery. Anakin manages to increase efficiency and decrease power consumption.)
    • (Did someone put this idea out there already? I know there’s definitely been some Obi-Wan-in-Agricorps ideas but I’m not sure how similar this is to those.)
    • Also, imagine if Order 66 goes through (which, hopefully it wouldn’t in this AU) and Obi-Wan is the Director of the Agricorps when Anakin/Vader shows up to either recruit them or kill them.

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I don’t actually hate Boba Fett, but he just never does anything remotely interesting to justify the adulation he gets, and he’s kinda whiny in tcw. Honestly, the only time I care about him is in aotc

That said, I’d absolutely be down for a Boba Fett movie, assuming they actually cast someone Maori, but I’d probably complain about the plot no matter what they did, because there are so many directions they could take it that would be terrible

Obikin James Bond (the Daniel Craig ones) AU in which Obi-Wan is 007, charming and prone to near-death experiences and losing his tech toys, and Anakin is Q, the genius young quartermaster. 

Anakin teases Obi-Wan about constantly losing the tech but he doesn’t actually care that much; he frets more over Obi-Wan’s ability to get himself into trouble and barely manage to get himself out of it. Every time Obi-Wan goes dark and is presumed dead makes Anakin lose a few years of his life. Anakin is always the one running Obi-Wan’s missions; he doesn’t trust anyone else to watch the man’s back and guide him successfully through a mission. They flirt over the comms and Anakin agonizes whenever Obi-Wan has to charm his way into someone’s skirt or pants. Obi-Wan always says that it’s just for the mission and he doesn’t feel anything for those people but still, Obi-Wan is so suave and the people he sleeps with are so classy and Anakin is neither of those, how could he ever hope to get Obi-Wan interested in him? (Obi-Wan is already interested in him but Anakin’s not a mark on one of his missions, there’s no information or special access he’s trying to get out of him so he’s a little flummoxed about how to approach this. Because it would a long-term relationship. He wants it to be one, anyway. But he’s kinda perplexed about what makes a long-term relationship successful.)

Anakin makes Obi-Wan whatever gadget he desires, though he pretends to grumble about it (he’s not fooling anyone, though). Obi-Wan wants an exploding pen? He gets an exploding pen. He wants a cell phone that can hack any computer system in the world? He gets a cell phone that can hack any computer system in the world. He does not ask for a suit made of some kind of polysynthetic thread that’s bulletproof but Anakin is nonetheless working on that.

Ahsoka is R, Anakin’s most trusted minion who he’s training to take over Q-branch in the event of his death.

Padme is M; she had started out as their government liaison but when their old M died in an attack, she assumed the role of M.

One of the nice bonuses about this AU: Imagine Obi-Wan in suits :P