My friends were making fun of me because I was just kinda like walking around the house for a while, just flipping this plastic knife. I mean, I was driving at intersections just flipping it in the car.
Dean is so devastated and heartbroken. He wants to save Cas, to get him back, but he doesn’t know how to do it. And the worst of all is that he knows there’s a chance that he won’t get Cas back, that he will have to see Cas die in front of him, and that scares him. Dean is scared of losing Cas and failing him.