Michael-Olowokandi

NBA All Stars Bonafide Scrubs, Los Angeles Clippers edition

Fuck it. Anyone can start. Who cares, it’s the Clippers.

PG - Terry Dehere

   Dehere was a 6'2" point guard who ended his career where it should have began - in the NBDL with the Florida Flame.

   The Seton Hall product was taken 13th overall in the 1993 draft, and while that class was top heavy, the Clippers could have saved itself the trouble of carrying a Bonafide Scrub at point guard by drafting Sam Cassell, taken in the late 20s.

   Instead, the Clippers got Cassell at the end of his career. The team made the playoffs.

   The following where guys the Clippers passed on:

   Cassell, Nick Van Excel, fuck it, even Georghe Muresan.

PF - Maurice Taylor

   The Wolverines product was taken 14th overall, and he sure fooled people into thinking he was good.

   But that’s what happens when you play for the Clippers. You look all starish.

   Uhuh.

   The Houston Rockets signed him as a free agent after averaging around 16 points, but they should have taken a hint: Taylor never could rebound for a guy his size (Around four a game), never played defense and was allergic to a thing called passing.

C - Keith Closs

   When your career highlight consists of being dunked on in court and dunked in outside a bar …

   At 7'3" and 190 pounds, I wonder what made them think he’ll pan out.

   They could have fed him a barrel full of bricks and he would have lost weight.

   At least he was relatively in shape as an alcoholic.

PG - Darrick Martin

   The former Bruin couldn’t play full time in the league, making him a perfect Clippers starter. He was too short and too slow.

   Hell'a smart though. Plus, he won the Continental Basketball Association’s MVP award, which is cool and all. That league had 6'7" centers, making Martin seem tall at 5'11" at point guard.

PG - Pooh Richardson

   Drafted by the Timberwolves, started for the Clippers.

   And people wonder why they called Jerome Pooh.

C - Michael Olowakandi

   Before Kwa-may Brown there was the Kandi Man.

   If you look up the history of bonafide scrub, it starts with him.

   Donald Sterling probably thought all Africans can play ball. The Clippers actually boasted about having the next Hakeem Olajuwon. Olowokandi was slightly better than Yinka Dare, and that’s because he got more minutes.

SF - Darius Miles

   Had he practiced his jumper the way he worked on rolling blunts, there’s no telling how great he could have been.

   Alas, he was drafted by the Clippers. His fate was sealed.

SG - Quentin Richardson

   “Q” is somewhat of a cult figure in Clippers lore, kind of like  Plan 9 From Outer Space.

   If there’s a Mendoza Line in basketball, it would be The Q Line, whenever a shooter has a field goal percentage below .400. He never saw a shot he didn’t want to take, and it showed.

PF - Chris Wilcox

   Gee, should I take a 6'11" high school player who was polished enough to play professional ball? How about a small forward who’s as wide as a power forward and as quick as a two-guard?

   Nah, let’s take a tall dunker with no post up moves, can’t position himself without the ball and is as soft as a Maryland Crab.

*BTW, the Clippers passed on Amar'e Stoudamire and Caron Butler. 

SG - Marko Jaric

   The Euro Mania was gripping NBA basketball then, and it bottomed out with Gordan Giricek. But Jaric should have been the standard.

   Another Clippers to Wolves (And vice-versa) transfer. Of course it never ends well.

P/SF - Ryan Gomes

   Also known as the Uncle, because every time he starts for a team, it signifies that said franchise has already given up pretending to be a professional team.

   Gomes is a Wolves/Clippers alumnus, and has played for last place teams all his life.

C - Zeljko Rebraca

   Sterling Sterling thought he was buying a tall bottle of anti-bacterial breath freshener.

   Turns out Rebraca was a Russian bench filler.