Germany and America are finally together and Germany just supports America in everything that he does and is just so cute with him. During meetings he’ll yell at everyone to shut up and then turn to America with a face of regret like “no no not you my dear you’re fine” even though America probably started it.
And America presents one of his extreme ideas and Germany smiles with admiration and encourages him with a nod and yells at anyone who says it’s stupid.
And meanwhile every time Germany tells someone they’re wrong or screams for everyone to stop fighting America chips in like “You tell em, beefcake!” and whenever Germany presents everyone is dead silent because America is glaring at everyone and daring them to interrupt his boyfriend’s amazing speech.
Meanwhile in Germany another Japanese expatriate was at the cutting edge of rock music in 1971. Kenji ‘Damo’ Suzuki was a wandering busker when Holger Czukay and Jaki Liebezeit spotted him outside a street cafe in Munich just hours before a gig. With previous singer Malcolm Mooney back to the US after a nervous breakdown allegedly suffered while 'caught in a Can groove’ the band were in urgent need of a replacement. Suzuki’s singing, or ’praying’, impressed them and they invited him to join the group on the spot. And he did, performing that evening even though he only knew a few guitar chords and improvised most of his lyrics. The spirit of the times. After bedding in with Soundtracks, the full Suzuki-era Can experience began with Tago Mago. Around Liebezeit’s amazing tribal wave of immersive drumming the band built worlds of surreal unease, psychedelic inner spaces, druggy, improvised grooves spliced together in the studio by Czukay using tape edits to compose the music from epic jams.
all these countries giving their points from some kinda studio looking background meanwhile germany ‘YES HELLOO FROM THE REEPERBAHN IT IS RANING WE ARE HAVING FUN COMING IN LAST AHAHAHA 12 POINTS TO THE ONLY SONG WHOSE NAME I CAN REMEMBER RIGHT NOW’
The amount is almost double that of the initial €60bn charge mentioned by Jean-Claude Juncker, the European Commission president, and represents a tough opening gambit as the UK enters Brexit negotiations.
EU member states are taking a tougher stance with France and Poland pushing for post-Brexit annual farm payments. Germany meanwhile does not want to give the UK a share of EU assets, the paper reported.
Adding upfront payment for guarantees and loans, the gross settlement demand could be between €91bn and €113bn (£76bn and £95bn), although this could be reduced to €55bn-€75bn (£46bn-£73bn) as the UK gets its share of EU spending and repaid EU loans, the FT reported.
This compares with figures by the Bruegal think-tank that the UK would need to make an upfront payment of between €82bn and €109bn (£69bn - £92bn).
Zvolt Darvas, a senior fellow at Bruegel, told the paper that the EU’s latest tactic “requires the UK to make a large upfront payment that is even bigger than the long-term net bill”.
Meanwhile, Germany has been accused of trying to undermine Prime Minister Theresa May over Brexit by briefing against her and thus favouring the EU negotiators.
German chief of staff to Jean-Claude Juncker, Martin Selmayr, is said to behind the leak that May was “deluded” over Brexit. The prime minister has also been criticised by Germany’s Finance Minister Michael Roth and European Parliament Brexit negotiator, Guy Verhofstadt.
Tory MP Sir Bill Cash, chairman of the Commons European scrutiny committee, told the Telegraph: “What they are doing is trying to exploit a new kind of 'project fear’ and that is not going to work on the British people.
"They are also trying to use negotiations as a means of influencing the German general election later this year. They are playing an unwise and dangerous game and I think they have been working towards this for a long time.”
May herself told the BBC that she planned to be a “bloody difficult woman” to Juncker over Brexit, in comments that referred to her description by Tory grandee Kenneth Clarke.
Don't be so relaxed about the demise of Marine Le Pen – she's more popular than ever
A wave of relief swept through Europe after newcomer Emmanuel Macron won the first round of the French presidential election on Sunday. Markets cheered as the euro briefly surged to a five-month high against a basket of currencies and Paris’ CAC finished the day 4.1 per cent higher, writing off Marine Le Pen as the next French President and with it the existential threat to the euro and Europe itself. Brussels and Germany, meanwhile, applauded Macron’s victory hoping it will revive the Franco-German partnership at the heart of the EU and stop the wave of populism that has swept over the Western continent in recent months.
But aren’t we taking his victory for granted and celebrating too prematurely?
According to the latest Ipsos poll for France Television, Macron, a 39-year-old former banker, would take 62 per cent of the vote compared with just 38 per cent for Marine Le Pen. But if Le Pen seems to be losing ground, it would be dangerous to discount her chances of winning the race to the Elysee Palace. She has never been so popular.
The Front National (FN) – Le Pen’s party until Monday, when she stepped aside in a symbolic move interpreted as an attempt to reach out to more voters – picked up a record 7.6 million votes on Sunday. This is the strongest ever result for a FN candidate and 2.8 million more than her father, Jean-Marie Le Pen, got when he stood in the first round of the presidential election in 2002.
It is also worth noting that Le Pen Senior was crushed by his opponent, Jacques Chirac, who received 82 per cent of the final vote that year. This is 20 per cent more compared to the predicted score for Macron, showing that such strong opposition to the FN is fading among the electorate.
France today is a more divided country than it was in 2002. It is crippled by high unemployment, with three million people or 10.2 per cent of the workforce out of jobs, and security concerns are high in voters’ minds, after more than 200 people have been killed in terror attacks on French soil since 2015. That has played into Le Pen’s favour, and she knows it very well.
Macron now has to convince reluctant voters who see the former banker as “the reincarnation of capitalism” to go to polls and heal divisions splitting the country. This won’t be as easy as it sounds. A 25-year-old law student who voted for Jean-Luc Melenchon, the leftwing candidate who refused to back either Macron or Le Pen in the second round, told me: “I am not sure if I will vote in the second round and all the people who supported Melenchon are asking themselves the question.”
“Why should I give my vote to an elitist candidate I don’t believe in? Right now I am not sure of anything but I am tempted to vote blanc [hand in a ballot without selecting any candidate]”.
An architect in her early thirties working in Paris who backed Macron at the first round said: “I am happy that he won the first race, but it is far from over. On Sunday, he was celebrating as if the race was already won. I thought it was arrogant of him, especially considering the FN’s historically high score”.
Indeed, Macron has already made his first mistake by celebrating his victory in a chic restaurant on Sunday – a party widely compared by commentators to former President Nicolas Sarkozy’s infamous night at Fouquet’s, another top Parisian restaurant after his 2007 election victory - the exact “political elite” event voters might feel alienated by. Many, including David Cormand, the head of France’s Green party, criticised the dinner, claiming the qualification of the National Front in the second round was no reason for anyone to celebrate. Cormand tweeted: “This party at La Rotonde is unworthy in a political situation when the far right is qualified for the second round.”
Pollsters and bookmakers both state that it is very unlikely that Le Pen could win the race against Macron. Polling experts told The Independent that it would take a scandal of “significant proportion” to ruin Macron’s chances. But if the events of 2016 taught us anything, it is that those polls can be wrong.
Only two weeks remain before the 7 May run-off between the two remaining presidential candidates. Le Pen’s manifesto includes, among other policies, negotiating with EU for return to French sovereignty, a return to the franc, clamping down on free trade, cutting immigration and a referendum that could lead to ‘Frexit’.
Instead of popping champagne corks, Macron should get to work if he wants to avoid yet another shock Western election result in 2017.