Mean girls anniversary

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NECESSARY VIEWING: Watch four shirtless teens perfectly replicate Mean Girls’ “Jingle Bell Rock”

I mean:  

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EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM MEAN GIRLS

Possibly the most quotable movie of our generation, Mean Girls celebrates its 10th anniversary today (WTF WE ARE OLD.) 

In honor of this fetch movie, here is what Mean Girls taught me about life.

 HOW TO SMOOTHLY ESCAPE AWKWARD SITUATIONS

 JOURNALING IS A REALLY GREAT WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR FEELINGS

THE BEST WAY TO CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF CHRIST IS WITH SEXY DANCING.

IT’S IMPORTANT TO WATCH WHAT YOU EAT

…BUT YOU HAVE TO INDULGE EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE

ITS OK TO LIE ABOUT BEING SICK IF YOU REALLY SELL IT

STICKING TO YOUR OWN CONVICTIONS IS IMPORTANT, EVEN IF IT MEANS STANDING UP TO SOMEONE MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU

IF SOMEONE IS BOTHERING YOU, JUST MISTAKE THEM FOR A BALDING CELEBRITY

HAVING SEX INCREASES YOUR CHANCE OF DEATH 100%

AND EVEN THOUGH I’LL NEVER BE AS COOL AND POPULAR AS GLEN COCO

I CAN STILL TRY TO MAKE FETCH WORK

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Happy 10-year anniversary to ‘Mean Girls’! Reminisce by watching this supercut of Regina George insults that will never make you never say fetch again. 

20 Ways Mean Girls Would Be Different Today

1. Instead of joining the “cool Asian girls” clique, Gretchen Weiners would have become obsessed with her perfectly-curated Pinterest. And long for a girly DIY empire like Lauren Conrad’s. 


2. The Plastics would have been obsessed with Gossip Girl

3. Regina George would have a Beyoncé lyric as her Twitter bio. Because naturally the Queen Bee feels a kinship with Queen Bey. 

4. The Burn Book would be a private Facebook group. Until Regina made it public, rather than turning in the book to Principal Duvall. 

5. Rather than regular after-school trips to the mall, the Plastics would have gone to an upscale blow-dry bar. 

6. Janis Ian would have a very popular Tumblr with a big following (but not at their high school, naturally). Filled with alternative music and art, it would appeal to teen outcasts everywhere. 
 

7. Damian would be obsessed with Glee. And Tweet at Chris Colfer every day. 

8. Kevin Gnapoor would be dealing Adderall to the entire Mathletes team. Actually, they should make that movie. 

9. Regina’s mom (Amy Poehler) wouldn’t be in a Juicy Couture sweatsuit — she’d be in Lululemon. 

10. Every fight in the movie would be conducted entirely via Facebook or Twitter. And instead of breaking up physical fights in the hallway, Mrs. Norbury and Principal Duvall would have to learn The Youngs’ Interwebs in order to discover the student body’s fighting. 

11. Aaron Samuels would have Snapchatted dick pics to Regina and probably Cady. 

12. The Plastics would communicate mostly via iMessage or Whatsapp. Rather than three-way calls. 

13. “Fetch” totally would happen. See: “totes, obvs, natch.” 

14. The video of the Plastics’ “Jingle Bell Rock” talent show performance immediately would have gone viral. A boom box hitting a dude in the face? Hot high school girls in Santa hats? Would have been done for the Vine

15. Instead of comparing their flaws in a mirror, the Plastics would post selfies to Instagram. And make passive-aggressive comments on each others’. 

16. Instead of tricking Regina into eating Kalteen bars, Cady would have swapped Regina’s green juice for a protein shake.The kind gym rat dudes use to bulk up. 

17. Gretchen Weiner’s dad would have invented Candy Crush.Not Toaster Strudel. 

18. Instead of Abercrombie tanks and miniskirts, the Plastics would have worn skinny jeans and oversized sweaters. More Coachella, less Hello Kitty. 

19. Karen would become a minor Internet celeb for her “weather ESP” breasts. And possibly end up vlogging wildly popular “haul” videos. 
 

20. Instead of getting into sports, Regina George would grow up to be a contestant on The Bachelor. And very likely the bitchy blonde who starts drama among the other contestants. Competition is truly where she shines.