1. Instead of joining the “cool Asian girls” clique, Gretchen Weiners would have become obsessed with her perfectly-curated Pinterest. And long for a girly DIY empire like Lauren Conrad’s.
2. The Plastics would have been obsessed with Gossip Girl.
3. Regina George would have a Beyoncé lyric as her Twitter bio. Because naturally the Queen Bee feels a kinship with Queen Bey.
4. The Burn Book would be a private Facebook group. Until Regina made it public, rather than turning in the book to Principal Duvall.
5. Rather than regular after-school trips to the mall, the Plastics would have gone to an upscale blow-dry bar.
6. Janis Ian would have a very popular Tumblr with a big following (but not at their high school, naturally). Filled with alternative music and art, it would appeal to teen outcasts everywhere.
7. Damian would be obsessed with Glee. And Tweet at Chris Colfer every day.
8. Kevin Gnapoor would be dealing Adderall to the entire Mathletes team. Actually, they should make that movie.
9. Regina’s mom (Amy Poehler) wouldn’t be in a Juicy Couture sweatsuit — she’d be in Lululemon.
10. Every fight in the movie would be conducted entirely via Facebook or Twitter. And instead of breaking up physical fights in the hallway, Mrs. Norbury and Principal Duvall would have to learn The Youngs’ Interwebs in order to discover the student body’s fighting.
11. Aaron Samuels would have Snapchatted dick pics to Regina and probably Cady.
12. The Plastics would communicate mostly via iMessage or Whatsapp. Rather than three-way calls.
13. “Fetch” totally would happen. See: “totes, obvs, natch.”
14. The video of the Plastics’ “Jingle Bell Rock” talent show performance immediately would have gone viral. A boom box hitting a dude in the face? Hot high school girls in Santa hats? Would have been done for the Vine
15. Instead of comparing their flaws in a mirror, the Plastics would post selfies to Instagram. And make passive-aggressive comments on each others’.
16. Instead of tricking Regina into eating Kalteen bars, Cady would have swapped Regina’s green juice for a protein shake.The kind gym rat dudes use to bulk up.
17. Gretchen Weiner’s dad would have invented Candy Crush.Not Toaster Strudel.
18. Instead of Abercrombie tanks and miniskirts, the Plastics would have worn skinny jeans and oversized sweaters. More Coachella, less Hello Kitty.
19. Karen would become a minor Internet celeb for her “weather ESP” breasts. And possibly end up vlogging wildly popular “haul” videos.
20. Instead of getting into sports, Regina George would grow up to be a contestant on The Bachelor. And very likely the bitchy blonde who starts drama among the other contestants. Competition is truly where she shines.
for pink lipstick, burn books and queen bees, boys you hate and ones you don’t, and flipping off the world. nostalgic tunes from teen movie soundtracks, including mean girls, clueless & 10 things i hate about you.