Maybe-I-should-stop

Maybe I’m thinking too much
Maybe I should stop
Maybe it’s not healthy
Maybe it’s not easy
Maybe I should turn it off
If only I could turn it off
Long enough to make it stop
—  t.m.
Maybe, I just ask for too much.
Maybe, I give too much expecting the same in return.
Maybe, I should stop being disappointed when I’m alone again.
—  Excerpt from the book I’ll never write// Maybe…
  • Me: hmm this ship could seem wrong to some people maybe I should stop shipping it so much....
  • Random person: This ship is toxic and abusive and problematic and whoever ships this is disgusting and should die!!!
  • Me: ...... *ships ship 100x more*
"You are a good guy, Zach" (Zach Dempsey imagine)

I know this is blog about Riverdale, but I have some Zach Dempsey vibes a few days and I wanted to write an imagine of how I see him as character. I hope you don’t mind. Just enjoy!
P.S. you can send me any ideas. If you want about Riverdale - do it, if you want about 13 reasons why - do it. Just do it haha

WARNINGS: none I think, maybe some fluff and angst? Thats it.

———————–

Some people decides how to act around different people. If they want to show their weak, honest, popular, beautiful or most realistic side of them. Wanting them to show you their realistic side, you have to make them believe, trust and be by their side when they need you the most. It feels like everyone does it, right? Somewhat, yes. Of course, one of them was Zach Dempsey. In school he is guy-who-doesn’t-care or ,how you want me to say, fuck boy.
I met Zach on my first day in Liberty High School. We were in our freshman year. He was already surrounded by group of people who made him laugh. I was standing by my locker, while my body was occupied by anxiety. Two different people in one place. But long story short, I had huge argument with Zach in one of the parties, it made him came at me in school and ask me if I wanted to grab a cup of coffee with him. I gave him a shot and now we are best friends. Best friend who got to see his realistic side, besides his family. The only answer how it happened is - I was by his side, I always supported him and made him feel better about his insecurities. Usually guys don’t know what is joke and what is serious. He may be pain in the ass, but he is caring, gold hearted and friendly. Sometimes he gets angry by stupid things, then he regrets, but doesn’t show. Because he is “the cool guy”, right?
His mom had to work in another side of the country, his sister went to friends house to have “girly weekend” and Zach wanted to have a rest from all parties. On this Friday evening he asked me to come at his place and have some dinner, because it’s been quite long time since we hang out. Somehow it felt like he tried avoid me and I didn’t knew why.
“The way you and your friends called that kid… Wasn’t really nice” I said as I tried to reach plates from the kitchen cupboard. Zach walked next to me and without any problems reached plates and gave it to me.“Thank you” I smiled at him.
“It was just for fun. Plus I didn’t started, Justin was the first one” He shrugged like it was just another casual accident.
“Well that doesn’t let you to be part of this. Just because you’re in Basketball team with popular kids, doesn’t mean you can say shit to other people, Zach!” I raised my voice lightly. I just shook my head and filled our plates with food.
“Are we going to fight, because of this?” Zach asked.
“No.” I putted plates on the table and sat on the chair. “Are you going to stand there or what?” I tried to sound as nicer as I could. He listened to me and did as I said. At first between us was an awkward silence, so to dissipate this vibe I started to talk.
“I know you’re kind guy and what are you doing with your friends… This isn’t you. Because I know you too well. You’re a good guy, Zach”
“But I have friends. They are for me by my side.” Zach tried to defend his, not so nice, friends.
“By calling you a mommies boy, because you care about your family? Excuse me? They are by your side, because…” I stood silent for a few seconds “Nevermind”.
“I guessed that we are going to have a nice dinner after long time, but as I can see, I was wrong, (Y/N)” I heard growing anger in his voice. He finished his meal and walked to the kitchen counter.
“I’m just worried about you. I’m sorry that I act like mom.” I finished my meal too and walked where he was standing. There was that silence again, but I didn’t said anything anymore. I walked in the living room and sat on the couch. My fingers were rushing through every social medias wall. Until I felt body sitting next to me.
“I know I’m doing wrong and I would destroy anyone who would say anything horrible to my sister. But I’m afraid of loosing friends, being rejected, sometimes I’m even afraid to be physically alone.” Zach sighed and I looked up at him. He was playing nervously with his fingers.
“But you’re not alone. You have family who is loving you and believing in you, you have me. All of your group is hiding insecurities behind their words to other people, like all of you want other people to feel the way you feel and I know this feeling. But sometimes you should talk about your insecurities or whats going on inside your head instead of bullying people who did nothing. With your insecurities you can kill human being with words.” I took his hand and tried to comfort him. “You know, the stick has two ends”
“You’re right. Maybe I should stop having my head inside my ass” He giggled.
“You’re not a bad person, Zach. You just should stop being like everyone else.”
He moved slightly next to me and hugged me tightly. After our hug broke, I just putted my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.
Zach cleared his throat and started to talk.
“I’m sorry that I avoided you. I just wasn’t feeling myself for a while.”
“Thats okay, everyone have these days.” I looked up at him. We were just staring at each other until I felt my cheeks heating up. I giggled and looked down. I slightly moved away from Zach and nervously started to bit my lip.
“Is everything okay?” I heard his raspy voice.
“Yeah, s-s-sure” I said. There was intense feeling between us, so I started to shake my leg nervously.
“If this is because what happened about a minute ago…”
“No, no, no. I mean, yes.” I started to mumble.
“I love you, (Y/N)” Zach said with shaky voice. It felt like my brain stopped working and in my stomach was flying million butterflies. I just looked at him with shock. “For a long time. It’s now or never, am I right?” He giggled. It felt like he tried to hide his shyness.
“I love you too, Zach” I giggled and looked at him, even if my face burned. But his face had lightly red spots too.
“What? Really?” He was surprised.
“Everyone loves you” I laughed.“So why I wouldn’t love you too? Just in different way.”
Zach suddenly leaned into me and kissed me on my lips. This kiss was soft and careful, but full of feeling. Like he didn’t wanted me to break, like I was a glass and he wanted to keep me.
I placed my hands on his neck, while his hands hold my head. Our kiss broke and he touched his forehead next to mine. I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me. His eyes were shining, his mouth transformed into beautiful smile.
“Thank you, God” He giggled.
This is the Zach I know, the one and only.

Chella - Grayson Dolan Smut

The music was blaring through the speakers. There were bodies covered in sweat all around me.  Swaying their hips, moving their hands. All seemed to move in slow motion. 

Grayson placed his hands on my bare waist and moved in sync with the beat. 

Red and orange light was reflected from the particles released by the smoke machine giving an energetic, yet a calm atmosphere. 

I was pulled back against Grayson’s torso and started swaying my hips to the beat. Grayson dragged his hands slowly all over my waist and cleavage as the song went on. 

With every second it felt like I was being pulled closer into Grayson’s chest. 

The song changed. It had a faster beat than the previous song so I started moving my hips at a faster pace. 

Gray gripped my waist tighter but I ignored it. 

I continued moving my hips against Grayson when an involuntary groan escaped his mouth and I felt his bulge grow against me. 

Oh, so that’s what the tight grip was for…

Maybe I should stop… but I won’t. 

Instead, I started moving my hips and bum slower, as close as possible against Grayson. 

Gray moaned involuntarily again. 

“Bro, you okay?” Ethan asked him. “Um, yeah. I’m fine, just a bit too hot,” Grayson lied. “Yeah… I can imagine,” Ethan replied and winked in Ethan’s direction. Grayson probably rolled his eyes but either way, Ethan turned back around. 

“Babe, you have to stop it,” Grayson leaned to whisper in my ear which caused his bulge to press against me even more. “But I’m just dancing, what’s wrong with that?” I smirked and continued swaying my hips slowly against Grayson’s growing bulge. 

Gray threw his head back as I continued moving and let out a frustrated groan. 

I kept on dancing when Grayson groaned again. “That’s it. We are leaving!” He said and grabbed my hand. 

“Where are you guys going?!” Ethan asked. “Back to the hotel,” Grayson said as he started pushing his way though the crowd. “But the show!” Ethan shouted over the noise. “I’m not feeling well!” Grayson said as he continued walking through the crowd while pulling me by the hand. Ethan shouted something back which was now inaudible as we were getting further away. 

“Where are we going?” I asked a bit our of breath as we were running and pushing people out of the way. “The hotel,” Grayson answered a bit out of breath as well with frustration in his voice.  

He’s hot when he’s angry. 

We got in Grayson’s car and he was driving. His hands were gripping the stirring wheel tightly and he was clenching his jaw. 

We got to the hotel and Grayson walked quickly to the reception and I ran behind him as I’m short as hell.

“Room 19 please,” Grayson asked and didn’t acknowledge my presence. “Here,” the receptionist gave the key and looked at me. I replied with an awkward smile and ran behind Grayson who had already walked off.

When I caught up to him he had already pressed the button for the elevator. We stood awkwardly next to each other, waiting. 

Maybe, I should have stopped when he asked because now we are missing the show and on top of that Gray is pissed off. 

“Ding!” The elevator distracted me from my thoughts. 

The doors opened to an empty elevator. Grayson walked in and I followed behind, both of us faced the doors. Grayson looked forward whereas I was looking down guilty. The doors started closing slowly. 

I was pushed against the elevator wall as soon as the doors shut. Grayson held my face and smashed his lips against mine. His hands were all over my body. 

Gray moved his lips down to my necks and started sucking and biting on my sweet spot, probably leaving a purple mark behind, showing everyone who I belong to. His hands then travelled down to my bum and squeezed it tightly which caused me to moan loudly. 

“Ding!” The elevator’s doors opened and an elderly couple was waiting at the door. I pulled away, straightened my clothes and tried calming my breath. My cheeks flushed bright red as they walked in. Grayson on the other hand was completely calm. 

The doors closed and the couple turned to face the door.

Gray moved closer to me and wrapped his hand around my waist and then moved it up and down my bare skin. A flaming feeling spread across my skin where he touched it.

I gulped loudly as Grayson’s hand moved and my thirst for him grew. 

“Ding!” The elevator stopped once again and the doors opened. Gray gripped my hand and we ran out of the elevator, pushing past the elderly couple. “I’m sorry!” I shouted as we ran out. 

We continued running until we got to room 19. Gray got the key out and tried pushing it in the hole, failing a couple of times which caused his frustration to grow. “Let me do it,” I said and grabbed the key out of his hand. I put it in the hole and twisted with ease. 

Gray closed the door behind us and then pushed me against it. He started kissing me on the lips again moved his hands down to my butt again, squeezing it a few times. His lips trailed kisses and hickeys down to my cleavage which was covered in glitter. 

Grayson tapped my legs signalling me to jump. I obeyed and wrapped my legs around his waist. He started walking until I was thrown on the bed. 

“Well you’ve been such a bad girl,” Grayson said and looked at me. His eyes looked darker than usual, full of lust. A squeal accidentally escaped my mouth so I covered it. 

Gray moved on the bed and returned to leaving marks all over my cleavage. He sucked on my skin until it was painful but then he pulled away and blew some cold air over the wet area of skin.

I tried pulling Grayson’s tshirt off but he stopped me. “No, I’m in command now as you’ve been so bad,” he commanded which turned me on even more. His hands removed my tank top just to show my lace burgundy bralette. Grayson bit his lips as he stared at it, then cupped my breasts through the material and started massaging them causing involuntary moans to leave my mouth. 

Grayson pulled away and stood in front of the bed so a frown appeared on my face. Gray’s hands moved to the hem of his tshirt and he pulled it up slowly and with every inch that was lifted, my excitement rose. 

Once the tshirt was off, Grayson stood in front of the bed, still, staring at me. I couldn’t help myself either and stared at his six pack. 

A smirk appeared upon his face as Gray moved back on the bed and he pulled my bralette off. Grayson’s lips were soon on my boobs. He flicked his tongue over my right nipple while he massaged my left one with his hand. Loud moans were escaping my mouth as I was getting wetter. 

Grayson moved further down and pulled my shorts off revealing my lace underwear. A smile appeared on Grayson’s face. 

“My favorite pair,” Grayson said with a raspy voice that turned me on even more. 

Gray pressed his hands against my clit through the panties. I moaned again.

“You know what? New rule: you are not allowed to moan until I tell you, you can,” Grayson commanded. I nod my head. “Good girl,” He said in reply. 

His fingers travelled up and down my heat and with every touch it got harder and harder not to moan. Grayson’s fingers moved in a circular motion over my clit through the lace underwear. 

“Good girl,” Grayson said again as he pulled his fingers away. I protested however this didn’t seem to bother him.

Gray pulled down my underwear, revealing my heat to the cold air.

He stuck two fingers in me without warning me. A loud moan escaped my mouth. 

“What did I say about moaning?!” Grayson asked as he curled his fingers. “I’m sorry!” I said shakily. “First and last warning,” he sighed as he continued pumping his fingers. I nod my head as Grayson continued painfully slowly. 

Soon, Gray wrapped his lips over my clit and started sucking. The feeling was so overwhelming and difficult to control. He started moving his fingers faster and I felt like I’d cum soon. Grayson started sucking harder and soon I moaned out again with complete lack of control. 

“That’s if, turn around. On all fours,” Grayson commanded me again and I groaned as I missed the feeling of his lips against my clit. However, I listened to him and got on all fours. 

I could hear Grayson unbuckling his belt and pulling his jeans down. 

“Now count with me,” Grayson said. 

Count what? 

My thought was interrupted by a loud and painful smack against my bare ass. The stinging pain spread across the skin. “One,” I said with a shaky voice. Gray lifted his hand up and another slap followed which caused the pain to grow. “Two,” my voice became more shaky. Grayson rubbed my butt to relieve some of the pain. However another smack then followed. “Three,” I barely managed to say due to the pain. He lift his hand again but I didn’t know when to expect it. I stood there, waiting when the burning pain spread across my ass again. “Four,” I cried out. “Just one more baby girl,” Grayson said as he rubbed the burning area. Soon enough another smack followed. “Five,”.

“Good girl,” Grayson said and placed a kiss on the burning area. “Now, lay back and remember: no moaning. Otherwise, you know the consequences,” he said. 

I turned around and laid on my back. The cold sheets underneath eased the pain a bit. 

My gaze moved to Grayson’s toned six pack and enjoyed the view. He pulled down his boxers slowly to reveal his dick inch by inch. I bit my lip at the view in front of me. 

Gray smirked as he caught me staring and crawled on the bed, over me. “You like what you see?” He asked to which I nod my head. “Good, because you’ll have some of it now,” he said. 

Grayson grabbed a condom that was on the bedside table. He tore the plastic and pulled the condom out, rolling it on. 

Gray stood in front of me and grabbed his dick in his hand, slowly rubbing it against my clit. He is such a tease and it feels so good but I can’t moan. 

Finally he entered me, filling in every inch. At first he moved so slowly so we could both enjoy how good it felt. Moans and groans rolled out of Grayson’s lips as he started moving faster and faster. He was kissing my neck and leaving purple hickeys over it. My fingers were running through his hair and my free hand was leaving scratches all over his back. 

As Grayson was moving faster and faster, the bed began to shake more but neither of us cared. 

Grayson started kissing and massaging my boobs again as he kept on rocking his hips. With every thrust I felt like I was getting closer and closer to the edge and I couldn’t handle it. 

“You are allowed to moan now,” Grayson said out of breath. Sweat was covering his body making him look even hotter. 

Loud moans started leaving mouth so Grayson started rocking his hips even faster. I kept on getting closer and closer with every second. 

“Grayson,” I moaned involuntary. “That’s right, keep on saying my name. Tell everyone who you belong to,” he commanded. “Grayson,” I shouted and with that the knot in the pit of my stomach was released. 

My walls started clenching around Grayson’s dick who came at the same time so he started thrusting his hips slower and slower to ride out our highs. 

Grayson laid on his back next to me and hugged me. We laid there until both of our breathes returned to normal. 

“You should be naughty more often,” Grayson said and tugged some of my hair behind my ear. “Agreed,” I replied and rested my hand on his face and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.

“I love you,” Gray said. “I love you too,” I replied and snuggled him. 

•The Next Morning• 

Grayson and I walked out of our bedroom and rushed downstairs for breakfast. We didn’t bother looking in the mirror as we were already late. 

“Nice hickeys Katie,” Cameron said. “Oh, ummm,” I started saying and but I didn’t know what to say. “Cool glitter face Grayson,” Ethan smirked as he looked at Ethan. 

Wait, Grayson still has that glitter from being all over my boobs last night? 

“Shut up Ethan,” Gray muttered and linked our hands as we sat down. 

“So the show last night was amazing wasn’t it? The finale was amazing, so good we all saw it!” Ethan said. “Oh, never mind. I just released you guys were enjoying a different finale!” He continued. “At least I have a choice from which finale to enjoy,” Grayson replied. “Shots fired,” I said and Gray winked at me. 

***

Someone please bring me holy water 

  • Antis: Free Kara!!! Mon-El is abusive AND HE BREATHES MORE OFTEN THAN KARA AND STEALS HER OXYGEN
  • Supergirl writers: *sigh* Lmao you certainly make some compelling points so we guess we can work something out for y'all
  • Antis: Thank you!!
  • Supergirl Writers: Ok - hear us out - we're making him marry another girl lol you won't guess who
  • Antis: Who???
  • Supergirl writers: It's *drum roll* Lena!
  • Antis: That's not what we-
  • Supergirl writers: LEMON WILL RISE MOTHAFUCKERS!!!
veganism by proxy and dangers of assumption

this is unrelated to anything else on my blog and mostly likely no one will ever read it and that’s okay I think I just need to get it out of my head and into the living world

Three of my best friends, two of whom I live with, are vegan. Their friends are vegan and their friend’s friends are vegan, and they work at vegan restaurants and we cook vegan, I bake them vegan treats and we generally have a fantastic time. I’m not vegan, but I’ve always eaten vegan food and tried out alternatives whenever I can. I’ve never been the type to make fun of vegan stereotypes, because I think it requires a lot of dedication, passion, and effort to be vegan. I’m not a huge meat eater and I try to be aware of what I’m eating and where it came from and the process it took to get to my mouth, while still indulging in the foods I love and the tastes that make live worth living. dramatic? absolutely but I really fucking love food y'all

None of my friends have ever tried to convert me or (that I know of) judge me or my eating habits, but every so often I meat someone (heh) who isn’t satisfied with my usual answer of “I’m not vegan, but I cook and eat vegan often” and feel the need to go “well why don’t you just go vegan then?”

Does asking someone about their personal choices becomes less personal when it’s something you care a lot about? I don’t think so, but that might not be a shared opinion.

The girl who asked this (this time, because there’s definitely been others) didn’t just drop it once I said “Ah, just personal reasons. I think it’s an incredible movement though and I’m glad it’s gaining popularity.” because that would’ve been too polite. She pressed on.

“But if you think it’s so incredible why wouldn’t you just do it? You say you love animals, but you’re contributing to their murder. You’re just a hypocrite.”
So I said what I initially didn’t want to, because I knew it would just make a semi-pleasant conversation into an awkward silence all because this girl doesn’t know how to respect other people’s choices without disparaging them.

“Well I had a severe eating disorder for seven years, so I stay away from restricting or cutting foods out of my diet. It puts me into a dangerous mindset, so I try to be conscious of that and take care of myself before anything.”

Even after saying this I felt I was still being judged. She had the decency to look a little embarrassed for prying, but I don’t necessarily believe she left thinking “maybe I should stop assuming I know the intricacies of strangers’ lives”. Which is what it all comes down to. Assumptions.

I love animals. Animals have been what showed me true love, what taught me understanding and helped me find happiness and purpose ever since I was young. My cat died years ago and I still break out in tears (regularly). What’s more is I have been vegan, and every time I do it I think I’ll be able to handle it, and every time I’ve ended up underweight, restricting, anemic, in the hospital, or with a severely disordered way of thinking. It happens eventually with any change in diet I try. I don’t like having to explain to someone why I think it’s important to put myself, my mental health, and my physical wellbeing first. We all have deeply personal decisions about our lives that we have to make. It’s up to us as individuals to decide how our (very short) experience on this world will be.

I try not to share my stances and opinions on tumblr and just stay for the fun things I love like anime, humor, video games, art. I feel as if I have a lot of grey area stances that aren’t emotion driven (and therefore come off as cold or unfeeling) and people online generally don’t like hearing morally ambiguous viewpoints, because there’s always going to be someone who disagrees, right? I hope this isn’t taken as an anti-vegan post, because it isn’t. Veganism is an amazing movement and lifestyle that’s saving lives, water, resources and more. This is an anti-judgement post, though. It’s anti-assumption. Assumption is a toxic part of our culture. It’s assuming you know how someone else thinks. It’s assuming you understand what they’ve been through to bring themselves to a certain stance or choice or belief.


If even one person read this, thanks man. If even one person remembers this and thinks of it while practicing patience with an opposing viewpoint (no matter how passionate you are on the subject) I’ll be stupid happy.