Marth (Akaneia Series)
Who Wins: Marth
You could fight Marth. I mean, if you wanted to. You’d probably lose. The guy didn’t really do much though. He doesn’t promote, and let’s face it, even with the Falchion, he wasn’t that amazing. He’s still quite the swordsman and he’s made convincing appearances in Smash. Guy’s had a hard life though, dad dies, sister is kidnapped, kingdom is usurped… yeah. Don’t fight Marth, okay?
Who Wins: You
Alright, who’s actually played through Gaiden? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Gaiden is so out there that you don’t even get those jerks who are all “yeah Fire Emblem Gaiden was the only GOOD Fire Emblem.”. Really. His stats are pretty good for his game though, but you can still take him.
Sigurd (Seisen no Keifu/Genealogy of the Holy War)
Who Wins: Sigurd
The guy has a LOT going for him. He’s a prepromote that you don’t have to feel bad about using. Plus, he’s kind of perfect? He practically walked out of a fairy tail. Then there’s the whole “I was going to go fight an army by myself” thing. Takes some spine, ya feel? Don’t fight Sigurd.
Seliph (Jugdral Series)
Who Wins: 50/50
I guess you can fight Seliph. I can’t promise you’ll win, but, hey. He’s not quite as cool as his dad, but he doesn’t let that hold him back. That’s the problem. He also gets scary good through inheritance and a bit of careful training. Be cautious.
Anyone (BS Fire Emblem: Archanea Senki)
Who Wins: You didn’t actually play this game.
You didn’t play this game. You MAYBE played the chapters on the remake of Monshō no Nazo but I doubt it. You say things just to sound cool at parties. You own several pairs of Fire Emblem leg warmers.
Leif (Jugdral Series)
Who Wins: Leif
Who wants to fight Leif? Who’s the guy that goes “You know, Seisen no Keifu is great and all, but Thracia 776 REALLY got my blood going.” Sure it added Fog of War and some other neat stuff but, then again… fatigue, the only sin greater than Biorhythm. Then again, he does become a monster late game. Probably shouldn’t fight him.
Roy (Fūin no Tsurugi/Binding Blade)
Who Wins: No
Roy is a cinnamon roll with all of the icing. He just wants to help. It’s not his fault he promotes so late or his awesome weapon with the custom animation has limited uses. It was a different time! He tries so hard. He’s so precious. Please don’t fight Roy.
Lyndis (Rekka no Ken/Blazing Sword)
Who Wins: Lyn
We’re not talking about a bad idea here; we’re talking about you literally dying. The girl moves like lightning and strikes about as fast.She’s nice, but way more hardcore than Eliwood and Hector.
Plus you’d have to fight them too. Don’t fight Lyn.
Eliwood (Rekka no Ken/Blazing Sword)
Who Wins: Eliwood
I mean, he’s just as much of a cinnamon roll as his son, so if he’s alone, you can take him. Downside is the whole having to fight Lyn/Eliwood/Hector thing. Plus, you gotta feel bad for the guy having a really boring promotion. He gets a horse. Cool. Also Dad dying and stuff but eh.
Hector (Rekka no Ken/Blazing Sword)
Who Wins: You
Please fight Hector. He has it coming. Everyone will literally cheer you on. Eliwood will cheer you on. Beat him up. Take his lunch money. Downside is this probably means you can’t hit on his hot older brother. Maybe. He might want to beat him up too.
Ephraim,and by extension, Erika (Seima no Kōseki/Sacred Stones)
Who Wins: No One
Why would you fight the wonder twins. What did they ever do? Their dad dies, their country goes to the zombies, and then their best friend goes all meguca and then becomes Satan. Sure they’re some of the weakest promoted lords in the series, but they just don’t deserve it. Don’t fight them.
Ike (Tellius Series)
Who Wins: Ike
Are we talking FE9 Ike or are we talking FE10 Ike? I mean FE9 Ike is kinda mouthy and bratty at times, but you gotta factor his friends in. He fights for them, and they fight back. FE10 Ike has it coming a bit, but honestly, it doesn’t matter. He’s got enough muscle that he can just crush you outright. That’s probably what you want, isn’t it. Disgusting.
Who Wins: Yune
Look, I get it. I’ve heard all the arguments. Mary Sue this, and plot device that, but c’mon, she’s a pretty sweet girl. Plus, she has to share the stage with a 300lb wall of muscle and some emo guy in a belly shirt. She’s trying her best. Plus there’s the whole downside of waking the Goddess of Chaos who drowned most of the world. Don’t fight Micaiah.
Who Wins: You
Chrom is a freaking nerd and belongs in the trash. Slam dunk.
Shin Kibayashi, probably.
Just punch yourself in the face. Just fucking do it.