I could hear the sobs even if she wasn’t crying. I could hear her heart breaking even without resting my head on her chest. I could see the pain in my girl’s face even when she had smiled telling me everything was alright. But I knew her well, I had lived my years on this Earth to know how to recognize when someone was trying to hide their feelings.
I don’t blame her, I know she doesn’t want to distract me, to worry me. But she already is, because she is the reason why my heart beats.
She was watching TV, but she wasn’t paying attention. Her resting face seemed sad, her eyes were almost in tears. It wasn’t the movie, she was watching some comedy not drama. But there she was on the couch, hiding under a blanket, alone. She hadn’t heard when I arrived, she didn’t know I was watching. Probably she even cried as I stood there. But I couldn’t not do anything, ignoring it and waiting for her to tell me would do worse. I wasn’t sure what was bothering but I had an idea. I knew she wanted some warmth in her heart so I walked back to the kitchen and as quietly as I could I made her some of my special coffee. I could still hear the TV, the laughs coming from it, but she wasn’t laughing. Her heart was crying.
I was her home now and more than ever, she needed that home. I didn’t question her, I didn’t want her to feel I pitied her, no. She just needed me to stand there by her side, holding her hand so she wouldn’t get lost. “I made this for you” I told her, making her jump a little, definitely not expecting me to be back so early. “It’s made with love” I smiled as I handed the mug to her and sat next to her. “Come here… Let me give you love” I whispered, waiting for her to be in my arms. “Xiumin I…” “Shush, you don’t have to explain. Do it when you are ready sweetie. But don’t forget I’m here with you, here to protect that big heart of yours”