Next time there’s a lockout because Bettman et al. have decided to throw another tantrum, I hope the NHLPA just sort of goes “well alrighty” and sets out to prove that the NHL needs the players more than the players need the NHL

What I mean is that they hire a few camera people and do things like:

  • Trying to play Sports That Are Not Hockey on ice. Personally I think Auston Matthews would be very entertaining at ice baseball
  • Buying a literal punch bowl and calling it the “Steve Cup” or something
  • Short reality-TV episodes following the lives of Tyler Seguin’s dogs
  • Roller hockey
  • Underwater hockey
  • Players launching a public health campaign about the importance of dental care
  • A Hockey with the Stars type show where they try to make hockey teams with celebrities who do not know how to skate
  • Going to the Olympics
  • Lots of PK Subban style charity stuff. In fact, just lots of PK Subban. He doesn’t need hockey to have fans
  • Helping out with other union disputes. Just. News articles about fast-food worker strikes in Pittsburgh and there’s Evgeni Malkin and Marc-Andre Fleury holding up signs
  • Zdeno Chara could get a job retrieving things off high shelves or something
  • Disney on Ice
3

Flower is the biggest reason why we even got here, He’s been a special person for me, a huge mentor. The fact that he passed me the Cup there … you know, I rank way down at the bottom and I got it ahead of some of the other guys. I have to say that’s one of the most special moments of my life.