I have this weird phobia of having my picture taken. No, it’s not vanity, I just can’t handle cameras or phones pointed at me.
Yes, it’s irrational hence the term phobia.
Well, I was recently at an event which required lots of photographs and -as explaining my irrational fear is usually useless since people tend to not accept it and claim vanity- I go with my go-to remark of…
“Oh, I’d love to. Vampire though, so it would kind of be pointless.”
It usually elicits a chuckle and tends to go off much better than trying to explain myself.
Anyway. Things were going fine until a young photographer came up and asked if he could get a picture. I gave my little speech and expected him to laugh and be on his way.
Instead he looks at me, pity in his eyes and says in this quiet soft voice, “ You poor thing. Where have you been all these years?”
I looked at him in confusion.
He then proceeds to set down all his equipment and grabs out his cell phone. He quickly brings up the camera and stands next to me.
“ You see, the reason your photograph never showed up before was because of the silver used in processing the film.” He smiled as he explained.
“But now we use digital cameras which don’t use any silver so you’ll end up showing up just fine!” He then took his phone and held it to take a picture of the both of us.
“If you don’t mind I’d like to capture the moment you first see yourself on camera.” He winked and before I knew it he had snapped several pictures of me with a rather ridiculous look of confusion on my face.
He gave a quiet laugh as he scrolled through the photos. He handed his phone over to me.
“ See. You look lovely.”
Yeah… This really happened.
He told me it was an amazing experience to be the person to capture my image for the first time and that he would love to meet again. He ended up giving me his number (which I kept this time. See INTJ Short Story #1 for reference) and mentioned that he knows a really nice Italian Restaurant where he’s sure they’ll hold the garlic for me.
In short… Help Me.
My mind is malfunctioning and I’m pretty sure there’s a short circuit somewhere in my chest as things there are beating irregularly.
My systems are shut down and I could use some help. Got any advice? Feelers?