Maleficent spoilers

shit I noticed on my second viewing of Maleficent:

  • at the end, Maleficent at some point had majicked Diaval a new shiney suit with matching black feathers
  • yeah you heard me
  • they matched
  • also I’d just like to thank the costume designer that decided they wanted Diaval to look like a pirate half the time
  • one of his shirts was open almost to his belly button
  • you yes you, I like you, you can stay
  • HE WAS WEARING A FAKE NOSE I DIDN’T NOTICE THAT THE FIRST TIME BUT YEAH HE WAS WEARING A PROSTHETIC TO MAKE HIS NOSE MORE BIRD-LIKE
  • also Diaval’s first transformation from bird to man was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen in a movie holy shit
  • Maleficent’s curse: The princess shall indeed grow in grace and beauty, beloved by all who know her
  • bitch you just fucked yoself
  • you literally just cursed yourself
  • you are so smart
  • also there were two chairs in King Stefan’s I’m-going-to-creepily-stare-at-a-pair-of-wings-that-I-garroted-off room. Why were there two chairs, who the fuck would have sat with him in that room. Queen ‘I appear once and then mysteriously die at a later point during the movie and King Dickhat doesn’t care’?
  • DID ANYONE ELSE SPEND AN EMBARRASSING AMOUNT OF TIME WONDERING WHAT BURNING ALL THE SPINNING WHEELS DID TO THE CLOTH ECONOMY
  • THAT PROBABLY DROVE THE PRICE OF ANYTHING REMOTELY TO DO WITH CLOTHING WAY THE HELL UP NICE JOB STEFAN
  • Okay so are you trying to tell me that all the sudden King Stefan had THOUSANDS OF POUNDS OF IRON
  • AS IF THE PREVIOUS KINGS HADN’T MINED ALL THAT WAS AVAILABLE AND TRADED AND BOUGHT
  • but nope he built a fucking thorn maze of iron through most of his castle
  • Diaval and Maleficent literally stood shoulder to shoulder on a cliff at the very end and then literally flew off into the sunset
  • I’m sorry I can’t hear you over the sound of my feather bros
what happened after the movie
  • Maleficent: Now that I have my wings back i'm probably going to need some help cleaning them
  • Diaval: *bursts through the door* *caws loudly* *rips off shirt* *tears streaming down face*
  • Diaval: Well I guess since i'm already here I could probably help you no big deal mistress
  • Maleficent: ....
  • Diaval: *heavy breathing*
  • Diaval having no idea how human courting works and trying to figure out how to gain Maleficent’s romantic affection
  • Diaval being all antsy (+ more bold than usual) when mating season comes along
  • Diaval and Maleficent sharing the tree she slept in as a child, with Mal in her usual spot and Dia sleeping in raven form a few branches above her
  • Diaval collecting a whole bunch of tiny, shiny trinkets and things and hanging them up all over the tree until Maleficent gets pissed off because it’s so cluttered it’s beginning to lean over
  • Diaval being surprised when Phillip tells him that, no, doing a courtship dance won’t help him attract Maleficent because it’s a bird thing
  • Diaval not being too physically attracted to Maleficent because “mehh all humanoid women look vagely the same to me” but then she gets her wings back and it’s like “shIT SHE’S HOT”

Do u guys even realize the shipping possibilities what with Diaval being a ravenman because I do

SPOILER WARNING

I would have been completely alright with them changing up the ending and having Diaval try True Love’s Kiss on Aurora. You can tell just by the look on his face when Maleficent said that there was no such thing as true love, how shocked/hurt he seemed, I think he believes in it.

Plus if they were going to have the kiss be romantic love instead of the maternal true love like what we got, Diaval would have made more sense than Phillip. Phillip’s kiss didn’t work because he and Aurora weren’t actually in love, they hadn’t had time to fall in love! That’s why in the movie it was Maleficent’s kiss because she had formed such a strong loving bond with Aurora over the years. Diaval had also spent so many years with Aurora (16 to be exact), and they actually had time to form a relationship. It could have worked.

Sorry Prince Phillip, but I have to say I prefer my Raven Prince…ooh dear, I believe I just gave myself fic ideas. 

Stillborn baby dragons...gulp

That’s dark, Rumple. So, sometimes dragons don’t hatch, and stilled dragons breath is DARK and creepy as all hell. Makes sense, since dragons breath is considered to be so powerful. 

Then thoughts, because everything leads back to Maleficent for me. She’s all curled up around Lily, because Lily might not hatch. Maybe there’s a thing where dragon eggs don’t hatch, being a creature of that much fire and magic can’t always be. 

So maybe Mal thought Lily didn’t hatch. Not only was she taken, but magic she didn’t hatch, maybe she didn’t make it. 

That’s SO sad. 

And dragons that didn’t hatch can wake the nearly dead. Which is sweet (and dark as well) you didn’t make it, but…in your death we can get life. 

Really just, after all that waiting and wondering if Lily would hatch (because sometimes they don’t) Snow and Charming come in and take her away.

Gah.

(also, I usually give Regina and Mal a human baby, but the two of them together in bed, watching over a dragon egg that might hatch (of course she’ll hatch, don’t give up hope) and hope speeches and in their pyjamas watching over their baby together is SO adorable and I want it. 

I wish I could draw. Baby hatches finally and they laugh and cry because like her mother, she likes to make an entrance… )