anonymous asked:

RFA + V & Saeran's reaction to like an MC with a compulsive shopping problem like "MC when will we ever need fifteen scrub daddies?" Kinda thing. Because lemme tell you late night infomercials will get to you eventually.

this sure is a blast to the past.


  • Questions you? This boy enables you.
  • By month two of living together you own a menagerie of snuggies, an armada of specialized shower slippers, and a single Obama chia pet that lives on the kitchen counter.
  • He wanders in at the middle of the night to you sprawled out on the couch, watching the infomercials flicker in a daze, and he sits down in a stupor near you to sip his coffee and watch what’s occurring on the screen.
  • “Flex-tape,” he says to himself softly. “We could fix anything with that.”
  • “Yeah,” you say.
  • “Like the bumper of our car. And that leaky bucket. And the chair that keeps falling apart!”
  • “Yeah,” you say again, pulling out your phone.
  • Seven thinks this is hilarious. Zen tries to stage an intervention. Jumin is endlessly entertained by this silly commoner practice, and ends up taking one of your Forever Comfy Cushions for his own purposes.


  • “What are you buying,” Zen says, accusation permeating every inch of his flat voice. Nothing! you insist, but he doesn’t believe you.
  • He never believes you.
  • Zen loves you and thinks the sun itself shines in your eyes, but he also knows that you have a problem and knows that you do not need another specialty home improvement product.
  • “But these are cool!” You insist. “And useful! They’re feet for your chair and they keep your floors from getting scratches and YOU CAN’T TELL ME OUR CHAIRS DON’T NEED SHOES, ZEN. THEY’RE NAKED.”
  • zen doesn’t understand. he’s lived a life of complete asceticism, often not even having the bare necessities of life. and here you are, filling his home with useless junk.
  • like really.
  • why do you need magnifying lens glasses.
  • you don’t.
  • y o u d o n ‘ t.


  • god save this poor woman it’s like dating jumin if jumin had some weird discount shopping fetish.
  • The word “sale” just gets you going like no other, and more than once have you shaken Jaehee awake saying that oh my god there’s this cooking product on tv and it looks so useful i could use it to make you perfect roasted apples AND over easy eggs and if we order now WE GET TWO
  • “go to sleep, MC,” jaehee says like a prayer, but she knows that god isn’t listening.
  • you’re going to order it.
  • you’re going to inflict this upon her.
  • …she is kind of grateful though when she realizes how damn handy your stupid Chop Wizard is for slicing onions. No more teary eyes. It’s like a miracle.


  • whenever you open your mouth, Jumin hears a great idea while everyone else hears utter insanity..
  • Of course you need five pairs of ant-resistant socks, MC! That sounds like a great idea. Get five for me, too.
  • Of course you need Hydro Mouse Liquid Lawn to promote healthy lawn growth, MC! It doesn’t matter that you don’t have a lawn, it sounds useful for the future.
  • Of course you need a Super Duper Ultra Hi-def HDMI cable, MC! That way we can watch cat videos on the TV in crystal clear quality. 
  • Of course we -
  • jaehee has to get a storehouse for the Weird Bullshit you acquire and she also wants to die.


  • He turns infomercial shopping with you into a party game, where you pick random things to buy, and when they arrive, the pair of you try to find the most improbable uses for them ever.
  • Your house turns into this weird, Post-Apocalyptic style wreck where everything is crafted from jury-rigged infomercial products, and Seven is just Loving Life.
  • You have cabinets made out of multicolored duck tape and egg beaters, which you used your 5 Second Welding Wand to create. 
  • Your walls are made out of magic mesh, which you panted with your Specialty Paint Spray Applicator
  • Seven turns the set of miracle knives you bought into a makeshift home security system.
  • The 124-pack of magic, color changing markers was the best purchase of your collective lives, and you color in your ramshackle home, content with no one wanting to visit you ever.


  • V cannot say no to you, which is unfortunate, because someone really needs to say no to you.
  • Egg powder! Super choppers! Hey V, do we need a callous remover? S-sure, he stutters, and you buy that too.
  • You own five different kinds of furniture powder, eighty-one types of cleaning supplies, a drawer full of compression socks, and a case of Furniture Fixes to Lift Your Sagging Cushions™
  • Your house is somehow both pristine and also filled with junk. RIP V’s artsy minimalist lifestyle.
  • …Some of the products actually end up being pretty helpful for helping him deal with his blindness, though, so he’s thankful for that, at least.


  • like seriously, you come home and you’ve got another box of weird gimmicky art supplies like air-blowing magic markers and color-shifting crayons. 
  • You have a jolly old time using them to decorate the new apple-slicer Saeran bought.
  • He gets a “make-your-own-crayon” kit and, well, that’s your Tuesday!
  • He tries to buy you presents, too, like new pots, pans, and a third pressure cooker, and you’re always so happy!
  • Finally, someone who gets it!
  • Finally, someone who understands!
  • You have a tool for every situation! Who cares if your house is going to burst?
  • …Eventually, Vanderwood convinces you to give some of the excess to charity, because this is ridiculous.


  • “Can I - “
  • “No.”
  • "But it would be so - “
  • NO.”
  • “It’s so cheap though –”
  • N O,” Vanderwood declares like a Roman judge, then turns off the television. They are not allowing this. They are not playing this game. They are not –
  • Wait.
  • Was that a shower scrubber?
  • Shit, let’s get ten.
Two Classroom Idiots

Summary: Y/N is close to falling asleep during class so Peter does everything in his power to keep them awake, even if that means messing with Y/N by using his web-shooters.

Warnings: cursing 


word count: 697

Originally posted by littlemisssyreid

           As Mr. Del drones on about god knows what, it’s only a matter of time before Y/N falls asleep. For getting nearly no rest the night before, they were holding up pretty well. With the help of a couple shots of espresso, Y/N was able to stay up during first period, turn in their essay, and up all through lunch. Although the caffeine boost started to wear off around fifth period due to a monotonous lecture about stoichiometry. If it wasn’t for Peter, Y/N’s partner in crime, nudging Y/N every few minutes, they would’ve definitely earn themselves a detention for sleeping in Mr. Del’s class.

           As Peter is Y/N’s desk buddy, he took it upon himself to keep them conscious, because if he had to suffer through a lecture, so did Y/N. Luckily with the two of them sitting in the back of the class he’s able to mess with Y/N to ensure that they stay awake.

“Psst, Y/N,” Peter whispers, to which they groan in response. He asks, “Who has two thumbs, a drone, and a cool suit?”

“A loser,” Y/N deadpans.

“Actually the correct answer is a badass,” he says cockily. With his hands behind his head and tilting his chair on its back legs, Peter nearly falls, but due to his quick reflexes he suddenly shoots a web onto the desk to hold himself steady.

“Yeah a total badass,” they say with a snort.

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The Old College Try: Part 2 (Lin/Reader college roommate!AU)

Summary: You spent the summer before your freshman year of college thinking your roommate was going to be a girl named Lin. When you get to campus, that’s not what you find.

Part Two: In which there are crayon contracts and costume parties, but definitely no jealousy.

Note: Sorry this took me so long to get out! Now that the story is completely outline, it should flow a lot faster. I’m pretty sure this is Part 2 out of 4.

You can find Part One here!

You can find Part Three here!

A few people asked to be tagged, so this is that!: @icanneverbesatisfied @clamilton @moonchildcharm @danspepes @calumbeans @blueco16 @brigzter-ly @21phantasticromances @picklessfights @thedoctorsnerdgirl @smileystumph @beestigo @lindsay-grey

Rating: T

Words: 4021

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El Generico gets his first-ever title shot against Dru Onyx in IWS, 2003.  He comes to the ring with a title belt drawn on his chest in magic marker, brashly confident.  After he loses, chagrined and ashamed of his hubris, he tries to wipe the ink title off.  

He’s eighteen years old here, he’s eighteen years old, how dare he understand the heart of wrestling so well so young?

concept: it’s 2004, michael doesn’t betray trevor, he divorced amanda and got split custody of the kids who visit his and trevor’s split-level condo on Del Perro every other week. michael helps jimmy build go-carts and trevor has tea-parties with tracey and helps her with her math homework. on the weekends they take out the yacht and in the evening they dock at the pier, get ice cream and let the kids build sandcastles while they play tennis.

but during the week that the kids are with amanda they carry out small, smart heists with lester’s help. occasionally michael brings home shitty vinewood scripts solomon gives him and trevor de-bullshits them with a red magic marker. they roll out to sandy shores some days and trevor tinkers with his planes while michael falls asleep in the sun with his ipod in his ears and a shitty detective novel on his chest. they drink whiskey under the stars and fall asleep on a ratty picnic blanket, and michael can’t help the stupid smile on the his face because trevor starts snoring lightly and his hand is warm in his own, there are so many goddamn stars and he doesn’t know how he got so fucking lucky, or what he did to deserve it all.