I shared some of the best and worst moments of my life with you. However, I’m afraid that we’ve really reached the end. I’ve found someone who loves me with everything I have and nothing at all and you’ve been running around this town with a girl who makes you forget that I live and breathe in the same world as you. I just want you to know that it was nice while it lasted. I enjoyed losing sleep and trying to so hard not laugh so my mother wouldn’t hear me through my bedroom walls. I’ll remember the way you allowed me to put my hands on the places you were hurting and how I trusted you enough to see me angry and sad and resentful most of all. I’ll never forget the first time you kissed me in the rain or the way nothing else seemed to matter with you. What I’m trying to say is that we grew together. In love and out of love. So thank you for walking through hell and back with me. Thank you for holding my hand when I needed it the most and for loving me in the only way you knew how. It was childish, but it was worth something and I will carry the memory of it somewhere on the inside. Although it’s over now in a way it won’t ever be. Anyhow, I wish you all the happiness in the world and so much love that your hands don’t know what to do with it.
Do not give me normality. I do not want to know how quiet you have been, or how long have you been sane in your life. Show me what you hide behind that mask of indifference. Show me the parts you only dare to show in the absence of light. Show me how loud your monsters can be. I ache for your insanity. I achingly long for your exploding stardust, your madness.
You’re going to meet people with blood in their teeth. Be careful, baby, even wolves can play sick. They will be in love with their madness and sick with their sadness. Do not scrape the blood clean. Teeth are not for smiling when all they have known is biting .
“Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled,
whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence – whether much that is glorious – whether all that is profound – does not spring from disease of thought – from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect.”
This is for you, and the sweet mouthed, sugar-coated promise you laid before me. The endless night and the dry mouths, the tired eyes that would only stay awake, for you. For the unbearable guilt and yearning for one another. The moment I remember my feet were not touching the ground and my heart gave way to the night sky all because of you, and your promise.
This is for you, and the unsure, broken-hearted renege you shoved down my throat. The endless night, the weighted heart and tired eyes, that would only stay awake in the hope, of you. For the unbearable brokenness and yearning I felt for you. The moment I remember my heart dropped and my feet were met at the ground with the broken shards of reality realizing that this was all because of you, and your broken promise.