I am so so sorry for my absence guys! Life got to be too much, and I’m just now recovering! I appreciate your patience and the fact that you guys checked on me. 💜 means a lot! I plan to have some texts out sometime today and an imagine out this week. Again, thank you guys so much, and it’s good to be back!
trans guy: i feel dysphoric cis ally: ur literally the handsomest manly dude guy bro dude man i ever seen before in my life my guy dude! just because you’re biologically a woman doesnt mean you aren’t super manly and handsome!! honestly wow your jawline is so sharp cut me with your jaw daddy father sir
So many of you are messaging me that “oh @jonerstrokes seems so great” and “oh @jonerstrokes is so precious”. WELL THERE’S REALLY SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEM:
They are literally just as great and adorable as they seem and I love that they are in my life. You guys, I am blessed, and I love that I get to have them in my vlogs and that you enjoy the wonderful person that they are. <3
Trump Supporters and apathetic individuals:
Why do you talk about Trump so much? He's just trying to do his job. Leave him alone.
I was living my life and this guy comes along and wants to deport my friends, demonize the people I love, degrade women, wreck the climate, destroy the economy, destabilize the world and endanger the life of every living thing on the planet.
this was the best part of the night by far.
here i am, stood in front of not only thousands of people (which is one of my biggest fears), but asking my IDOLS:
the dumbest fucking question of my life.
i was so nervous i didn’t even know what to say.
you know what?
i know i’m cringey, and i don’t even care.
this was one of the best moments of my entire life.
thank you guys for being so nice to me, it really helped my confidence.
(LoOK HOW MUCH IM SHAKING. I THINK ITS PRETTY OBVIOUS THAT I WAS NERVOUS.)
Everybody in this picture is my life and my love. I love these guys so so much. It’s hard to believe that I’ve only known them for one year because it feels like I’ve known them my whole entire life. You guys are my world and I’m so thankful for each and every single one of you dumb losers. — Jack Grazer about the V team.
i just made this announcement over on twitter, but like, let’s be real, i’ve been on this horrible blue hell site since i was 16 - and i’m turning 24 on sunday, so that’s essentially a third of my life, yikes - and you guys are wonderful and i love you and you deserve to hear it here first. so.
as most of you know, i finished my first manuscript earlier this year, and i’ve been reservedly liveblogging the absurdly nerve-wracking process of querying agents and throwing my novel out to the wolves.
and i’m so happy to finally be able to tell you that i’ve accepted an offer of literary representation from brooks sherman of janklow & nesbit associates.
i first became aware of brooks a couple of years ago when my best friend lena, who was loyally and devotedly beta-reading one of my early drafts, suggested i check out becky albertalli’s “simon vs. the homo sapiens agenda.” she thought simon was an exemplary gay ya romance, exactly the kind of thing i was hoping to do. and she was right: simon instantly became one of my favourite books, and becky became one of my favourite authors. i pledged to myself that when i finally worked up the nerve to start talking to agents, i would talk to the guy who helped make simon happen.
but it took a long time. like, a long time. i started writing “teenage victory song” - the name of my novel, a contemporary gay YA love story, hopefully coming soon to a bookstore near you! - back in 2013. specifically, during an 11:30 PM gchat with grace on wednesday, december 11, 2013, which i have archived for historical preservation. so grace is getting the dedication when this thing goes out, naturally. but, yeah, i started writing it in 2013, and only just finished it this spring, and only with the help of some truly incredible people and loyal friends and family - way too many to name here, but you know who you are, and thank you. i love you. if i hadn’t had your love and your support to battle the little grey cloud of depression and trauma and persistent economic instability that hangs over me 24/7, i’d never have gotten this far. writing this book, and keeping myself mentally healthy and happy enough to finish it, is the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do.
i also need to thank benjamin alire saenz, andre alexis, dennis bock, anne michaels, and mallory ortberg for reading various permutations of this manuscript and believing in it and giving me their writerly advice on it. i love all y’all. and, of course, major, major thanks to the lambda literary association, who do so much incredible work for so many lgbt authors, and to whom i will be forever in debt.
i just don’t have words for the fact that brooks read my manuscript and said yes, that he said wow, that he believes in me and in what i’m trying to do with my writing. he represents so many authors whose work i’ve been continually blown away by, and it is patently ridiculous and surreal that i get to stand next to them now? i’ve already mentioned becky albertalli, whose work has done so much to humanize young lgbt people and to normalize gay love for a mainstream audience. or adam silvera, who just put queer boys of colour on the new york times bestsellers list with “they both die at the end,” which i am presently reading and crying over and having my internal organs ripped out by. and last, but definitely not fucking least, angie thomas, who wrote “the hate u give,” very possibly the most important young adult novel of the last twenty years, a heartbreaking and compassionate and warmly funny complete and total masterwork that i inhaled in less than two days. like, i really don’t. have words. these are people who have been heroes of mine for so long. i just started actually crying so i’m going to have to wrap this up lmao.
i grew up in an intensely homophobic and conservative christian household, and when i was probably eleven or twelve i somehow came into possession of a copy of “a great and terrible beauty” by libba bray. i don’t remember anything about it except that it had a subplot involving two girls who kissed each other on the mouth, and when they kissed each other on the mouth, i was so viscerally horrified that i started bawling, and i stood up, walked upstairs to the garbage disposal, and tore the book apart with my bare hands. watched the pages filter down into the garbage. and i don’t, like. i don’t like to damage books. i don’t even fold corners because i don’t like to crease the pages. i still remember it all these years later because my first reaction upon recognizing myself in that kiss was to literally destroy it. and i had to keep that part of myself buried for so many years. reading lgbt ya and fanfiction was some of the only escape i had. i wasn’t able to come out until i was eighteen years old, and when i did, it ultimately meant becoming estranged from my mother forever.
i have so much love and tenderness and compassion for all those previous, wounded versions of me, who went through so much, who hated themselves so much, who spent so much of their teens and early twenties being depressed and closeted and suicidal and dreaming of the day when they might get to be an author. you fucking did it, buddy. i love you so much and i am so proud of everything you did to survive and keep creating.
one year ago even bech næsheim had dropped out of school, lost contact with all of his friends, was very unstable and lonely and was recovering from a suicide attempt
now he’s graduated, has a job, has his old friends back, is a lot more stable than he was before and is in love with a beautiful boy who loves him back, who supports him unconditionally and without any judgement
even’s story is so beautiful and I have never been so emotional over a fictional character before in my life
a/n: it’s 3:00 pm and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life anymore. Sorry guys i didn’t even check the grammatical mistakes. English it’s not ever my first language actually. Sorry if it’s trash. Sorry I’m a trash
warnings: smuuuut forgive me father I’ve sinned
• Tom definitely it’s not the kind of guy who gets jealous easily but when this happens he’ll be soooooo out of himself fight me on this
• one of those situations is when you’re with him chilling in the couch but you just don’t drop you’re phone
• he’d be like “With who you’re talking to, love?”
• and when you answer that is with a male friend he would starts to get grumpy
• he even would ignore you when you talk to him
• when you realize what’s going on you’d be willing to do make the things better
• but first you would be distracted looking at his angry face watching TV
• his jaw clenched as his fists resting on his abs
• his deep breath making his bare chest move roughly
• he’d notice you staring at him but his question would be “Done talking with your friend?”
• the sound of his harsh voice would make you bite your lips and smirk
• slowly you’d be crawling on the couch until you’re with the lips rubbing on his check
• with a soft kiss you’d whisper against his skin “Tom, you’re so pretty when you’re mad” making his jaw clench more
• he still would be ignoring you
• BUT THATS NOT HOW THE STORY ENDS
• you’d start kissing softly his checks and then his earlobe and then his neck…
• he’d shiver and you’d notice his adam pome move roughly
• you’d climb on his lap and his hands would fly to your hips pressing it so hard
• as you start to move your hips back and forth he’d let a groan escape
• at this point this poor jealous boy would be so turned on but still mad enough to try to ignore you just like you were doing early even if was intentionally
• pressing your forehead against his you’d softly touch his lips with yours softly and then move to his chin and then to his neck and then to his chest until his sweatpants
• biting your lips while you’re looking at his face you’d pull down them and the boxers at once
• now he’s not ignoring you anymore
• actually he’s completely focused on you
• you’d grab his erection slowly rubbing your thumb on the tip and then moving your hand to the base of his cock
• making sure to never breaking eye contact you’d bring your lips to the tip of his member
• you’d able to feel his boner pulsing in your hands and oh my god this would let you soooooooo wet
• as you open your mouth to engulf the first half of his erection Tom would throw his head back and left a throaty groan out
• starting to take him deeper his hands would grab your hair and he’d start to thrust roughly against your mouth
• his dick would hit the back of your throat but he’d moaning your name and you would be more wet than ever so that’s for sure makes worthy control your gag reflex
• with a groan he’d fill your mouth with cum and you’d take every drop of it
• as you slowly take his cock of your mouth and look at him a line of drool would be formed
• Tom would think this is the most sexy scene of his life
• you’d climb on his lap and ask him sorry for ignoring him and making him jealous
• He’d laugh, grab you on his arms, take you to the room and say “You need way more than that to make me calm down”
• definitely jealous tom would be so much more rough
• but it’s okay bc you’d love it
• all the slaps on your butt
• and the bites on your neck
• hickies everywhere just to make sure everybody knows you belongs to him
• he would groan things as “mine” and “my babygirl” in your ear
• he’s definitely not ignoring you now and oh boy… he’s not here to tease you with slow and soft moves like you did
• you’d be a mess and only would know how to moan his name
• actually scream
• and he’d want to cum inside you
• only after four rows you’d be completely forgiven
• it’s not so bad making Tom jealous tho