(Ig @ witchywillows)

Crafted a spell bottle yesterday to help me focus on school and make it to graduation intact. Ingredients below.
• Cinnamon(memory/mood stabilizer)

• sea salt (protection)

• rosemary (mental power/confidence/memory)

• basil (peace/success)

• oats (prosperity)

• lavender (peace, clarity)

• pine needles (inner strength, willpower, wisdom)

• 2 drops tea tree oil (clarity of mind)

• ashes from a sigil I made.

• Sealed with yellow wax to promote knowledge and positivity.

Discharge day!!!!!!

This feels so weird, and honestly I never thought it would happen, but today I will see my psychiatrist for the last time and be officially discharged from all psychiatric services. It’s be almost two years since things got bad, two years since I was admitted to the provinces children’s psychiatric ward and diagnosed with cyclothymic disorder. Cyclothymia is a relatively unknown illness, it is a more chronic sub-threshold of bipolar disorder. After years on anti-depressants, mood stabilizers and atypical antipsychotics I am officially free!!!!! I never thought this day would ever come!!!!

I don't smoke to get stoned.

I smoke as much as I do because I have BPD.

If I didn’t medicate as much as I did. I would be one rude ass mean cunt with racing thoughts followed by crying about being a rude mean cunt then laughing about all of it as the other person just looks at me in disbelief that one person could experience all those moods in less than 30 minutes.

So yes I do need to eat 150mg-250mg and yes I do need to dab a few times. Don’t judge unless you know wtf you speak of 😊

Is this what normal people feel like?

I don’t want to cut. I don’t want to kill myself. A few days ago I actually feared dying… I don’t really feel any strong emotions. It’s so boring. There is no extremes. It’s just one big meh. I don’t want to take my medicine if this is what it makes me. Some boring normal person. How do people even live like this?

i’m a lesbian and i’ve never had a partner i could conceive a child with (which i would say is probably true for 80% or more of wlw relationships? idk i know it’s possible but i also kno between hormones and money restrictions and etc shit is hard for both cis n trans bpq women) and today i trimmed this woman’s hair while she talked about how difficult in vitro has been for her and her husband and how even tho they had good luck w the initial conception she’s had trouble carrying and how it cost them over 20 grand and thousands for each time she attempted to carry and how the hormones she has to take are making her sick and making her hair fall out and she can’t take her bipolar medication (i’m bipolar as well so i’d assume they’re mood stabilizers) anymore bc the doctors think that’s why she keeps miscarrying and anyways

it impacted me so bad i cried in the bathroom bc like… i’m always this hopeful “when i’m ready and happily married i am totally going to have kids :)” but i don’t know how realistic that will ever be and i feel like i'all end up childless due to lack of finances or not being able to carry a child since even under 35 the chances of carrying a child conceived in vitro to term is under 50%

i’ve always wanted to have a baby but it hurts to know that… realistically it will probably never happen. there’s a chance but it’s slim as hell

anonymous asked:

hi! do you know of any crystals that help with stabilizing moods? or keeping your head clear? thank you!

Hello! All of these stones have stress relieving, calming, focusing/clarifying, mood lifting and/or stabilsing properties.

  1. ​Agate
  2. Aventurine
  3. Carnelian
  4. Hematite
  5. Calcite
  6. Rose Quartz
  7. Smoky Quartz
  8. Tiger’s Eye
  9. Turquoise (a very good mood stabiliser).

give Blair his Best End #2k17

sorry i’ve been trying to keep my struggles with borderline personality disorder off my blog lately but idk things are really rough now. my insurance stopped covering my mood stabilizers and i forgot how awful things are without them. like the suicidal thoughts are back and hard to ignore so i’m just taking a shit ton of xanax to make up for if but that’s not really sustainable

i’m not saying i’m gonna kill my self tonight or anything but sometimes it feels like i’m just living my live in limbo, waiting for it to happen one day idk