MINE YO

this joke was told to me by a catholic priest
  • woman: father, i don't know what to do. i was tidying up my son's bedroom and found some pornographic magazines.
  • priest: oh, well i wouldn't worry about that. that's very common for boys his age, a lot of girls too, i imagine. you could have a talk with him about it, you could take them away, or you could just ignore it. bottom line, i wouldn't worry about it too much.
  • woman: yes, father, but these were s & m magazines! with whips and chains and choking and whatnot!
  • priest: oh my. well, i'm afraid i don't know how to advise you on that, but whatever you do, don't spank him!
how long it takes to fall for the signs//how long it takes the signs to fall for you
  • aries: 3 months//1 week
  • taurus: 2 weeks//1 month
  • gemini: 14 seconds//3 minutes
  • cancer: 3 days//3 hours
  • leo: 8 hours//2 weeks
  • virgo: 20 minutes//6 months
  • libra: 8 seconds//5 years
  • scorpio: 1 week//1 year
  • sagittarius: 15 days//4 days
  • capricorn: 2 years//2 years
  • aquarius: 1 day//8 days
  • pisces: 1 hour//1 second
7

Christmas was coming. One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow. The lake froze solid and the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban.

8
WELCOME TO  B A D L A N D S .

So canon it hurts :”D