I like to say that high Ne-users are metallic beings, like how XNXPs can get super “heated up” on random things, obsessions, etc. one moment, but the next day they can be completely disinterested after the initial “high” wears off. This is typically normal, and everyone does this, but it seems for INTPs and ENTPs that this occurs in such a rapid fashion that it can seem like “everything bores them”. Similarly, metal is a conductor and has a low specific heat, which not only allows it to quickly increase in temperature but also quickly decrease in temperature.
Description of the Fi brain (xxFP types) in Dario Nardi’s Neuroscience of Personality
“[The Fi types] are consummate listeners. They thoroughly engage all brain regions that process voice, words, and sounds; moreover, they may easily enter a unique whole-brain state when listening to other people, whoever those people might be. (…)
INFPs are more likely to enter the listening mode and stay with it longer. In contrast, ISFPs listen briefly for a quick assessment and then move to action. Both styles have merit.”
“All Fi types show high activity in regions T3 and T4, which handle language including diction, grammar, and voice tone. (…)
Region T4 also helps weigh motivation and intent, and gets active when they feel wronged. ISFP and ESFP, in particular, rely heavily on voice tone to hear other people’s intentions when evaluating a person’s authenticity or the morality of a situation.”
“These types are stimulated by ranking of importance, or what is more or less worthwhile. All people show activity here when expressing what’s important to them, such as a musician saying “my music” or an idealist saying “my values” or when someone ranks their friends and family members from most to least likable.”
They are willing servants that are frequently taken advantage of, usually unbeknownst to them. Be sure that you don’t fall into the temptation of using this power over your “caregiver” to get what you want.
You have to be mindful that your significant other may be neglecting his or her own needs in order to care for you. Let them know, very gently and without accusation, that you would like the chance to see to their needs, too.
Express your desire for balance within the relationship so that you can both have useful and contributing roles. This will be much healthier for your significant other and will ensure that he or she leans to pay attention to their own desires.
The ESFJ love to be around people. The extraverted part of their personality thrives in lively environments, especially those in a traditional setting like a local carnival or wedding. Don’t pass up the opportunity to escort your “caregiver” to such functions. Also, remember that your partner is more perceptive of what they see. Care and effort towards your appearance will go a long way in appealing to this ESFJ sense.
If you aren’t the greatest communicator then you are going to have to come up with some creative and impressive actions to show your partner that you appreciate their efforts. Flowers or dinner at a nice restaurant work nicely. Even better, if you have an aptitude for writing your feelings, consider leaving a love note for your partner.
Prepare yourself for what may, at times, come across as neediness from your mate. Remember that your approval means a lot to this individual and without it they may feel lacking. They need to know that they are doing a good job.
Tips for Dating an ISFJ Personality
Try to remember that your partner takes great care and pride in the things they do for you and it is important that you frequently show your appreciation and affection.
If you are of an extraverted nature, be verbal about your pleasure and appreciation. Comments like, “It was so thoughtful of you to drop off my favorite coffee this morning. You’re the best,” or “I really enjoyed the meal you made tonight; I can tell you worked hard on it,” will let your mate know that their efforts are not going unnoticed.
If you prefer to express yourself through action, like your companion, then consider surprising them with flowers or set aside time to snuggle on the couch; ISFJs are particularly fond of romantic gestures (even those that seem clichéd to other personality types).
They tend to take things slowly and may refrain from physical affections, especially sex, for a while. Try to exercise patience and understanding but don’t be afraid to initiate a bit of contact every now and then.
If your companion seems to shy away when you lean in for a kiss, he or she simply may not be ready for that level of physical contact yet. If they seem amenable to the action then go for it.
Learn to read your partners body language but remember that facial expressions are often not a good indicator of an ISFJ’s feelings, as they are very adept at hiding their emotions from others.
Tips for Dating an ESTJ Personality
They play by the rules and while they may give in to the odd impulsive action once in a while, they actually carry very high expectations for the individuals close to them.
This type of person expects their partner, family members, and friends to uphold the same values as them. Bragging about cheating on an exam or lying to your boss definitely won’t bring you into favor with this type of person.
Your partner has a profound love for organization and tidiness. You can appease this pet peeve by tidying up after yourself when you’re together. If you are expecting your partner to stop by your house, consider cleaning up any messy areas that you think might annoy your mate.
It is also a good idea to brush up on your social skills so that you can hit the scene with your people-loving partner. They thrive on being in lively and exciting environments. They love to chat, tell stories, and have a laugh with friends, family, and even strangers. Try not to pass up on too many invitations to accompany your significant other on an outing as to do so might peg you as anti-social (a trait that ESTJ’s aren’t crazy about).
Tips for Dating an ISTJ Personality
Initially, you will have to have patience when pursuing this type of personality. These duty-bound individuals are essentially introverts and do not willingly offer up oodles of personal information. Getting them to express their feelings is even more difficult. Pressuring your partner will only result in you being pushed away and frequent attempts to get your significant other to “open up” will likely stir up a protective instinct that could doom the relationship before it has really had a chance to develop. Over time your companion will feel more comfortable divulging information about their past, present, and hopes for the future, but you should be aware that they will always find it difficult to be in-touch with their feelings (and yours), as their nature is primarily based in facts, reality, and practicality.
This particular persona craves order in their surroundings and you may find that they become restless when the house becomes messy or their schedule doesn’t pan-out the way they had planned. Cut your partner some slack by tidying up whenever you can and keeping surprise ventures to a minimum.
Your ISTJ would much rather you sit down and discuss your plans with him or her so that they have plenty of time to arrange their schedule. It is also worth remembering that as an introvert, your companion will most likely feel drained after social interactions. If you’re planning something big, like a party or a gathering in which your companion will be meeting a lot of strangers, consider giving your loved one some advanced notice so that they can mentally prepare for the experience.
Your little “know it all” may have thrifty tendencies that can come off as downright stingy to someone who likes to splurge now and then. Spending money (especially large quantities) on unnecessary things could throw your partner into a tizzy, so try to keep expenditures of this nature down to a minimum.
Your partner is completely open to criticism that can positive affect the way they “work,” so don’t be afraid to make some well-placed suggestions now and then. Be sure not to take an accusatory tone; try to make any criticisms healthy and appropriate.
Essentially, your partner can be a very caring and protective individual but funneling these feelings into words isn’t a scenario that will happen often. Instead, try to pay attention to your significant other’s actions, as these will speak loudest regarding their feelings for you.
If you feel the need to be more vocal about your feelings, feel free to do so but don’t expect your partner to give a profound reaction. It isn’t that your expressions are not appreciated, your companion just prefers to be sponge-like in this regard (gathering the information, analyzing it, and storing it away in their fact-absorbing brain).
Oriented by Introverted Feeling and Extraverted Sensation, these types are very much in the here and now. Naturally spontaneous, they live as though each experience were to be in harmony with it. Such types understand outward reality by way of sensory skills so finely tuned that they’re likely to have a strong identification with nature. Whenever their sensitivity comes into play in the social arena, ISFPs have a sense of mission. ISFPs learn by experience, and they need hands-on contact in order to know something well. Unlike Extraverted Sensates, however, they don’t require perceptual novelty to stay interested in something. When their Judgment is engaged, ISFPs are focused, contained, and nearly inexhaustible.
ISFPs don’t think in terms of objective limits and requirements. They think in terms of values–what’s right in the situation at hand. They lose sight of themselves as objects, rushing in where angels fear to tread. ISFPs don’t recognize their Thinking impulses as part of themselves. They simply feel that they’re losing contact with their deepest self, and the only way they know how to solve the problem is to reject the claims of anything that doesn’t support that contact. So frustration gradually pushes ISFPs into using their secondary function defensively, to assert their existential freedom.
Today this girl I just met at something said something like “I’m an ESFP on caffeine lol”, and I was thinking “cool this person knows about MBTI. That’s a topic I can talk about” (I didn’t really know anyone at this thing but one person who was busy, so I thought, that’s something I can successfully discuss), but I was trying to decide whether or not to discuss it, because I don’t really like arguing it as much anymore, because it’s so tiring. Well, there was an awkward moment in the conversation, and I said, “so you like MBTI?” And she said yes, and I told her to guess my type, and she said she didn’t know me well enough. I was thinking more of a “wild guess”/you don’t have to get it right/it’s just interesting to see what you would guess situation.
But then the topic got onto that one of the other girls was an ENFP and another an INFP, and she started trying to type this one guy, and she was going through the I or E, S or N sort of thing. And I really surprised myself, because I didn’t mind it even though I didn’t agree with that “version” of MBTI.
The whole fact of the matter is, sure, maybe this girl believed in some MBTI stereotypes, but since she didn’t know the cognitive functions, she wasn’t throwing out all this “well I’m Se because I am impulsive” or “he can’t be Fe because he’s not a pushover”. And I know the MBTI community on Tumblr isn’t always that blunt, and people who say those things are usually joking or are called out, but it’s almost as if these nasty, over-simplified stereotypes of functions that we deny are true, are still ingrained behind what we believe the functions to be. I really feel that, no matter how smart we try to sound with functions, we still have these labels on them that can be harmful, that are only worded differently to sound more intelligent and honest.
And of course that can happen with S vs N, too, as we all know, but can we really say we are doing better? It’s one thing to treat the test as a simple “This or that letter” equation, and another to say “these are the building blocks of all the tools you have in life and that’s it you can never change you’re stuck with it”. Cognitive functions are like the Elements of MBTI, and to say “oh wow your main element that will permanently be your preferred mode is common/stupid/boring” is very damaging to people, and even if you don’t say it just like that, descriptions that are written more smartly can still have that clear message that will be accepted as a fact, and spread to people all across the Internet. And really, when you look at it, it’s not a matter of us truly believing a function is of those negative traits, but a self-inflicted ignorance created because of a bias that says “I don’t want to learn what this is” or “I already know that something else is better”. We are smart people, who spend too much time thinking about this stuff. So why don’t we understand it by now, really? How can we claim that it’s just “too hard to understand”?
What really cheered me up today, and is currently running through my mind, is that a self-declared ESFP’s eyes lit up when she said proudly that she was an ESFP interested in MBTI. And I think back to the time when MBTI was a combination of letters I didn’t understand, and God do I hope that people who get into MBTI don’t discover the absolute uninformed-crap that we have written about the functions. Because even if you believe, and God do I hope you do, that your type and functions don’t make up who you are, other people do, and tell lies about them being better or worse than others, and even those who don’t believe it makes up who they are, it’s still utter nonsense that we have these underlying prejudices toward functions, that we tell to those people who start to understand MBTI that they were given a screwdriver when everyone else was given a new iPhone.
I’m not saying that cognitive functions are evil, or that we shouldn’t understand, but that we truly need to reevaluate what we are putting out there. Myself included. We need to look at our community and make some changes. To better understand the personality theory, we need to make clear judgments from a gathering of information from a series of first-hand experiences described from people of the type, from those interacted with the type, and so on, instead of leaning on stereotypes and what others have said on the Internet. We need to make accurate assumptions, or make none at all. Any theory is useless without an attempt at accuracy.
Please excuse my poorly written post. My ideas are poorly expressed, because it’s 3 AM. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.