Modern SLBP Lord Story Parallels
Not Waffle!verse but waffle!verse adjacent. I didn’t get through all the lords but here are some scribbles I wrote while waiting for Ikesen to download.
THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY HARD because I like modern au’s to at least have like…familiarity and SOME parallels to the original stories, aside just from personalities (sometimes I go off the rails but still) and this is complicated immensely by a.) the fact people don’t just…get shipped off to be poison testers in modern society SO liberties taken b) that’s how all these stories start so how do I make these familiar but not exactly the same IDK YET we will find out as we go.
He is a regular at your diner, which you assume is because he tends to only eat at very odd hours (you don’t know this is because he purposefully avoids usual mealtimes with his own family and coworkers) and is always a model customer (you get some rowdy ones when you’re open 24 hours), except he starts coming in less. You wonder why until his cousin finds him eating one day and gives him a bit of an earful about taking care of himself—apparently he’s been put on a super strict diet since an odd incident that will eventually turn out to not be diet-related but poison-related. Cousin and his company vice president hire you to be his personal chef since they can’t make him eat the bland cooking Kojuro tries to make, but he will eat yours. You fall in love with his kitchen first, or tell yourself you do, but you’ve always had a gentle spot for your quiet customer, and he finds himself noticing how quiet his home is when you aren’t banging pots and pans…
You’re hired as Masamune’s chef, as in the above scenario and for the same reasons, but on the condition that you still work at your diner—you go from third shift at the restaurant to Masamune’s company headquarters and cook his day’s meals in the catering kitchen. Kojuro isn’t a huge fan of this arrangement because he worries about you at those times of night, and sure enough, you have a hard time with some drunks demanding money. He asks you to switch shifts, you counter and ask him to teach you self-defense. Self-defense lessons expand into basic business lessons to increase your marketing, supply chain management, labor issues, etc for your diner, and you find yourself searching for excuses to ask him questions even as he finds himself wanting to be more than just a consultant.
I have the benefit of not having to fit an actual storyline here yet because I don’t know enough Japanese to know what’s going on. I feel like he’s at your diner at like 2 AM one night, eating some waffles to soak up the alcohol, when some drunks hassle you and he immediately goes to your rescue EXCEPT you take care of it on your own LIKE A BOSS and he’s smitten from there. He does finally get to play white knight when a local official threatens to rezone the land your restaurant is on and sell it to developers unless you marry him, but Shigezane convinces his cousin to buyout the land contract from the city. I can totally see him starting as a drinking buddy and roommate convinced you’re in love with Kojuro or Masamune before finally breaking down and confessing.
You travel out of town to a major conference in the restaurant industry, but get lost in the building it’s being held in, as there are several other conferences going on at the same time. Through a series of improbable mishaps, your bag—full of detailed notes on vendors and marketing tips for restauranteurs—gets swapped for one containing confidential material from Takeda Corp. You’re accused of corporate espionage, threatened with a major lawsuit and jailtime when Yukimura, famous athlete with a Takeda Corp sponsorship and one-time visitor of your diner, blurts out that you’re his fiancé and had brought the documents for him because he forgot. Literally no one believes this, but they love him so they roll with it and make you his responsibility, which means you end up living with him and traveling to his sporting events and such. Which means lots of photos with paparazzi and blushing promises that he’ll sleep on the couch don’t worry (but he’s an athlete, that can’t be good, so maybe…)
Please pause for a moment to consider
modern!assassin Saizo as the driver in all those glorious stunt driving
getaways in those Baby Driver trailers that are everywhere right now. RIGHT. I’m gonna come back to this.